To Have and to Hold - 9. Chapter 9

Angels and Demons

He has no idea what he’s doing, what he’s agreed to, and I can’t say a word. Gabriel has manoeuvred me into a corner and if I try to reach out to him, to tell him what he’s done I will frighten him so badly he will never agree and I know, despite everything, I know that Gabriel is right and this has to be done. I just wish that Gabriel had given me time to prepare him.

I am so proud of him. He is young, yes, I can’t deny that but he is so strong, and so brave. I can’t believe the way he stood up to Gabriel, but he won’t stand up to Salem like that. He looks so bright and confident, although there is a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes when he looks at Salem. That creature makes me shiver myself.

Marc is sitting on the edge of the desk again. He stands up but when Salem gets close he sits down again and slowly bends backwards as Salem drifts forwards. He can see it, I know he can, he can sense what it is and I can feel his fear. I want to go to him and reassure him but I can’t, for so many reasons I can’t.

Salem puts his arms around Marc, almost like he is holding him in a loving embrace but there is no love in it. He has one hand in the small of his back and the other behind his head, drawing him back towards him. At first he resists but not for long. He gives a strange little cry that tears at my heart and his eyes turn wide and blank as his body relaxes. Salem glides back from the desk with Marc limp and compliant in his arms.

A glow begins to emanate from them and grows more and more intense until I can’t see them. This is not right. I am on my feet and I don’t know how I got there. Gabriel is suddenly at my side with his hand on my arm. I look at him and his eyes are shocked too.

“Let me go Gabriel.”

“Kai, there is nothing you can do. Calm down and feel it. If you touch that it will blow your head off.”

“Marc is in there.”

“Yes, and the chances are he’s doing it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. How could he do that?”

“I have seen Salem scan a thousand times. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I have never seen Salem do anything like this so that has to suggest that it is not Salem this time.”

“Gabriel, I can’t....”

“Yes you can, you have to. We have to wait until this is over and then see what we see. We can’t get anywhere near him, you know that so don’t try.”

I know he is right. I can sense the energy, the power, it is radiating out of them and I know he is right, that I can’t get close. But Marc is in there, Marc... Who knows what is happening to him. I can’t feel him, I can’t sense him at all, anything could be happening to him, anything.

I take a step forwards, I can’t help it. I have to get to him, I just have to. There is nothing of reason in this. The very fact I can’t feel him, the fact that he is not calling to me calls more strongly than anything he could say or do. I can’t ignore it, can’t ignore the call...

“Kai.....”

The light is getting brighter. There is a warmth coming from it, not a physical warmth but a mental warmth that spills out and touches me deep inside and begins to flow through me. I turn my head to Gabriel and I can see in his eyes that he is feeling it too, so is May.

We all turn to stare at the glow. There is no sense or sign of there being anyone inside. The only thing I can feel, the only thing I can sense is energy and raw power. It is golden, streaming, flowing, shining.

And then it begins to fade. Gradually at first but with growing speed the light dims. I can see figures in the glow now, indistinct at first but growing clearer and then the glow is gone and they are there, just as they had been before, very still, their eyes locked.

The moment stretched indeterminably. I try to run to them but am defeated, pain lancing through my head driving me instantly to my knees. May is at my shoulder. She is faster than ever, I didn’t even sense her move.

“Are you alright?”

“No, and don’t sound surprised, you knew it when you made me come here.”

“Made you? We didn’t make you do anything. No one ‘makes’ Kai Konstantin do anything.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? It’s you name.”

“It was my name.”

“You can leave behind the life you had then, but you can’t leave behind who you are.”

“I have left behind who I was.”

“Kai...” Gabriel hauls me to my feet and I stagger. I can’t help but fall against him and I can’t help but feel a stab of emotion at the feel of his arms around me. He is strong, he was always strong, stronger that me, at least I had thought so, until he hadn’t been.

“Let me go.”

“Gladly, when you can stand on your own.”

“I have to go to him.”

“And do what?”

“Let me go.” He lets me go and I slide back to the ground, I can’t help it, suddenly I am exhausted, I just can’t find the strength to stand, and so I crawl. I can feel Gabriel’s gaze, burning through my back but I don’t care what he thinks, I don’t even care that I can feel May cry... it has been a long time since May cried... I only care that Marc is in trouble and he needs me and I WILL be there for him.

Almost as though he sense the thought Marc steps back, out of Salem’s arms. He turns stunned eyes to me, dazed, frightened, confused and then blank as he seems to switch off like a light and crumples.

“Marc!”

Suddenly I feel a burst of strength, I have no idea where it comes from but in an instant I am at his side. He is closed down, lying on his side, curled up with his eyes closed. I can’t sense anything from him. He has completely shut off.

“What have you done to him?”

Salem looks almost as stunned. He is staring at Marc, his turquoise eyes looking blank, with no pupil at all, but at the same time filled with so much... what. He looks terrified but Salem and his kind do not feel emotion.

“I said... what have you done?”

If it was not for the fact that the burst of strength I used to get to Marc had completely drained me I would throw myself at his throat. I want nothing more than to put my hands around his neck and choke the life out of him. He is hateful, he is an abomination, not even a vampire in the usual sense. He has never been human.

Slowly he blinks and when he opens his eyes they are as guarded and cold as ever. Ignoring me he turns to Gabriel.

“He is not a vampire.”

“What? Don’t be so ridiculous. Of course he is a vampire, I should know, I changed him myself.”

“To be a vampire he would first have had to be human. He has never been human.”

“What? You are insane. You have no idea what you are talking about. Of course he is human, or was.... what the else would he have been?”

Salem turned his gaze to me and, although it is cool again, I can see that he is shaken. His eyes narrow and then widen and suddenly the world slows and stops.

“No! Don’t you dare try that on me. You freak. Tell me what you have done to him.”

I can feel his eyes boring into me, his mind invading me, his soul anaesthetising me, but I have been around for a long time. I have met many such as him, freaks who siphon the soul from your body, the thoughts from your head, the spirit from your very being. I have met them and experienced them, survived them and made use of them and I will not allow myself to be prey to them.

“You... he has polluted you. You are infused with his energy, you are changed too.”

“What? I.... what energy?”

I look down at Marc... and I KNOW. He is very still, very pale, but then he has always been that way, ever since the change... he has been pale, even when he fed his skin was like white marble, like a marble statue of...

“Malakim.”

“WHAT!!?”

Gabriel has Salem by the front of his shirt. I am sure he didn’t mean to react with such violence but he can’t help it, he is shocked, we are all shocked.

“You can’t be serious. Kai.... tell him he can’t.... Kai...?”

He can see the look on my face, knows that through the shock there is recognition, understanding, belief.

“Kai, tell me you didn’t know, please...”

“Of course I didn’t know. I had no idea. There was nothing to show....”

“And yet now you see it?”

“Yes, now I see it.”

“You believe it is so?”

“I know it is.”

“I admit that it does explain a lot..... but... FUCK Kai... Malakim! Do you have any idea what you have done?”

“Yes, I have an idea.” No wonder he is so beautiful, so innocent, so bright. No wonder he is so golden and so special. No wonder.... I reach out and touch his face. He is cold and does not stir.

“What have you done?”

“I though it best to ... neutralise him... until a decision has been made what to do with him.”

“Neutralise? What to DO with him? What is there to decide? Who the fuck are you to...?”

“Easy Kai. He’s right. This requires some thought. This is not... straightforward.”

“Are you going to ‘neutralise’ me too? Are you going to presume to make decisions about what to do with me? Like it or not Gabriel I am the same, the same as he is.”

“I know.”

“Why is it such a huge dilemma? You have been looking for years for ways to approach the Malakim. You have always known that sooner or later common ground would have to be found and now you have it.”

“Common ground, yes, but this... this.... Have you no idea what you have done? We are demons Kai, demons.... and you have brought an angel among us.”

An angel... my angel.

“Bring him back.”

“No.”

“I wasn’t asking you Gabriel, in fact I wasn’t ‘asking’ anyone. Bring him back.”

“No Kai... I can’t risk it. Think about it... it’s as much for his own good as anything else. No wonder his energy was so prominent. No wonder it attracted every low life between here and the edge of the kingdom. The only reason he is still alive... that you both are, is that they have no idea why it is attracting them, what you are.

“Can you imagine what Merticus would do with him? Even not knowing? I can’t let that beacon shine. No yet.”

“And what of mine?”

“Yours is... different, not so pure. You were vampire first and Malakh second. He was Malakh first and his energy is too pure to be subdued. You can control your energy he can’t, he is too new to it.”

“So what... what are you saying? That you intend to keep him like this.... shut down, unconscious? For how long? An hour? A day? Forever?”

“As long as it takes.”

“As long as it takes for what? I won’t have it Gabriel. I won’t let you do it.”

“Do you have a better idea? A better way to keep him safe?”

“I can keep him safe.”

“How? How can you hide him? How can you protect him? How can you keep your little friends here safe from who and what will come after him?”

“I can teach him to mask his energy. I can teach him to shield it, to hide it.”

“Yes, you can, eventually. But by then....”

“Until then I will protect him, I will take him somewhere we can be safe.”

“There is nowhere you can be safe. Anywhere you can go Merticus can go and will go.”

“I can’t... I can’t...”

I feel as though my heart is breaking. He is so beautiful, but so cold. An angel. My mind is full of pain. I can’t think. I have no answers, I can’t think of any answers, any more arguments, but I can’t bear to see him like this... so cold.

“Kai.... I swear to you that I will do my very best, that I will put everyone I have on this. I will even make contact with the Sanhedrin Malakim.”

“No!”

“I thought you said you wanted this to be an opportunity for that.”

“I do... but not now, not when he is helpless. They will want to take him and if they insist how can we refuse? Only he can refuse.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I don’t know what I mean, I just know that it’s right, it’s true. Please, not the Sanhedrin, not yet.” My head is throbbing again and I know I am about to pass out. I can’t stop it but suddenly I am afraid, deadly afraid, not for me. “Gabriel, please, promise me that you won’t do anything, not yet. Please...”

I am slipping, losing myself, my strength. I sink down and all I can think of is protecting Marc. I throw my arm around him but Gabriel is there and suddenly I am in his arms, looking up into his face.

“Kai... I am so sorry. I should not have made you come here. I knew you were ill. Are you alright?” His voice is fading, his face blurring in my eyes.

“Promise me.”

“Of course. I will take care of him until you can take care of him yourself. I will do what I can to help you, to help Marc, I swear it.”

There is darkness gathering at the edges of my vision, invading my mind. I try to say something, try to tell him that I believe him, that I trust him, but everything is fading too fast. I feel cold and I wonder if I am dying after all before the darkness grows so thick there is no room for any thought at all.