Max and Josh - 15. Forgiveness

Disclaimer: This story includes sexual and romantic situations between consenting individuals. Any allusion to illicit or illegal activity, sexual or otherwise, is used only for enhancement of the story line and not promotion thereof. Remember AIDS, HIV and other STDs are a very real threat, please always practice safe sex.

I can prove copyright on this story so please don't copy or remove this story for personal use without my permission.
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Max and Josh 15: Forgiveness

Max was sitting at his desk, doing his best to focus on his history homework, and he was failing miserably.

It had been a week since his fight with Tom in the gym and his subsequent hospital stay. He was glad that the whole ordeal was over with, happy that he and Josh were back together, that Frank and Kylie were doing so well with each other.

He was even glad to be back on his medication, even though he paid for his slip from taking it regularly with severe stomach cramps and other, even more unpleasant digestive issues.

Max was paying for his slip in his self care in other ways too. His mom whether out of anger or fear, had become very strict. She had taken the week since his hospital stay to make sure that he was doing what he was supposed. She watched him take his medication every morning and evening, supervised his workouts and monitored his eating habits severity.

He knew she meant well but he wasn't used to being monitored anymore. She hadn't acted this way since he was first diagnosed and he wasn't taking too kindly to being treated like a child for the first slip he had ever had.

To make matters worse she was also limiting the time he got to spend with Josh. She was grateful for Josh's quick action in bring him to the hospital and she understood his and Josh's feelings for each other but considering his relationship with Josh was directly tied to his slip she thought it would be best for them both to spend a little less time together, in order to give them both some time to think and evaluate their relationship.

When his mom first announced this new development he was worried that Josh's parents might become offended by it, he certainly was, but he was pretty shocked to realize that they were not only un-offended but whole heartedly agreed with her proposal and had in fact worked with her to create a 'schedule' for them to talk to and see each other.

Other than school they had only been able to see each other for an hour a day and the idea of them spending the night with each other had been completely tossed out the window.

Their time together that day had been even more limited because of Josh's Friday night dinners with his grandparents. Max hoped with the weekend coming up that he might have a chance to convince both his Mom and Josh's parents to let them spend some time together, even if it was only hanging out together with Frank and Kylie.

He wasn't holding out much hope though.

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Debbie was sitting on the couch down stairs, looking through a cookbook, when someone started knocking lightly on the door.

She sat aside her book and went to answer the door, wondering who it could be this close to supper time on a Friday.

She opened the door to one of the biggest shocks in her life, her father standing in the doorway.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Debbie had the right to be short, her Father had barely said three words to her, or Max, since his coming out.

"Your mother finally decided to tell me Max was in the hospital. As soon as she heard I made arrangements to come. I'm here to see you...and my grandson. If you'll let me that is." Maxwell Sr. said, his voice carrying a slight southern accent.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea dad. The last conversation you had with Max didn't go so well. I'm sure you remember." Debbie knew she shouldn't be making things as difficult as she was, but it was genetic, the women in her family held grudges, especially where their children were concerned.

"Deborah I have come here to make amends. Now you can either let me in or I can camp out here in your yard until you change your mind." Debbie smile a bit in spite of herself, it had been YEARS since she heard that conviction in her Fathers voice.

"Alright Dad, come in. It is good to see you again." She said as she gave the older man a hug once he stepped inside.

"Where is Max, is he here?" He asked, excitement coloring the old voice.

"He's upstairs doing his homework. But we should talk before I all him down. What has caused this sudden change of heart?" She asked, falling into skepticism.

"Debbie, my baby girl, this change of heart is far from sudden. This old ticker of mine changed a long time ago. I assure you this is the real thing. Just call for Max, I don't want to have to do this twice." A bit of impatience colored the sincerity in his voice, he meant what he said but the trip had been long for a man of his age. He wanted to say his peace and get some rest before his nerves left him.

"Alright, alright....," She said with a resigned look as she walked over to the stairs, "Max, come down here please...you've got a visitor." She called up the stairs, trying to keep the trepidation out of her voice.

"Visitor, who is it? Its not Josh is it?" Max called as he appeared at the top of the stairs, he was hopeful despite his mood.

"No...No, its someone else...It's your granddad." She said, Max who had come half way down the stairs without scanning the room below suddenly stopped halfway down; his face suddenly set in a stony indifference.

"Hello Grandfather." Max said tonelessly as he reached the bottom stair, though he didn't step off.

"Come and have a seat Max." Debbie said in a voice of forced politeness. She knew how broken Max had been when his grandfather stopped talking to him, the claim that they didn't have a close relationship was a lie, as a boy there was nothing Max loved more then spending a few weeks during the summer with his grandparents simply because his grandfather would take him hiking.

"No thanks mom. Beside I doubt that I'm the person Grandfather came to see. I'm still gay after all." Max said in a hard voice as he turned to go back up the stairs.

"MAXWELL!!-" Debbie started but her father held up his hand to quiet her.

"Actually young man it is precisely you I am here to see." He said and though his voice was quiet both Max and his mother could hear the authoritarian coming out in his voice and Debbie could see that Max was having a lot of trouble disobeying the silent order to stay put.

As she watched him walk back up the stairs he only made it a few steps before suddenly stopping and turning to face them again.

"Thank you for staying...I've come a long way to talk to you and I'd rather not chase you up the stairs to do it." Maxwell said with a slight smile.

His attempt at humor was lost of Max.

"I know I was not...receptive...to your announcement at Christmas-" He started but Max, his grandson had reached his breaking point.

"That is an understatement...receptive...you WALKED OUT you didn't say anything, you didn't even look at me. You stood up and you left. At least Aunt Ellen and Uncle Chuck could muster a few words, painful and insulting as they were." Max said as he marched down the stairs.

Debbie could see all the pain and frustration that had been welling up in Max over the years and moved to his side.

"Max, honey, please calm down..." She said quietly said as she rested her hand on his shoulder.

"No...no, I will not calm down," Max said as he shrugged off her hand and stepped close to his grandfather...the man he had been named for, "It's been three years, nearly four and you show up here NOW wanting to talk. Where were you when I was laying in the hospital with my back laid open from shoulder to shoulder, where was the man who I thought of as a father when my dad walked out then!!" Max nearly yelled at the older man as tears cascaded down his face, every hurtful thought and all the pain he felt concerning his grandfather poured into his words.

Max's anger stabbed at his grandfather like a knife, Maxwell had expected Max to be angry, even furious but he had never contemplated the level of anguish in Max's words.

He stepped forward and placed his hands on Max's heaving shoulders who, to his surprise, did not knock his hands away or pull away from him.

"Max, my dear boy, I know how much pain I've caused you and I can never tell you how sorry I am for it. I know just saying those words don't erase what I've done, and haven't done I've regretted for so long the way I treated you that day, it was hard for me to accept that the young boy that I loved so much was something different than what I imagined him to be. That he was something that in the days of my youth was considered abominable." Maxwell said in lieu of a different word, though the effect was the same, Max struggled as hard as he could to break away from the older man, but Maxwell held his grandson in a vice-like grip.

"I don't believe that Max, in truth I never did. I was just...I don't know what it was or how I felt, even today I'm not completely sure. I raised two girls; I never got to feel what it was like to raise a son. Spending so much time with you as a boy, hiking and camping, those summers you'd spend tramping around behind me when you stayed with us.

Over all those years I started to think of you as a son to me, like any other father I built up this picture in my mind of what I wanted for you. When you told us you were gay that little picture I built in my mind shattered. I'm not proud of it but that disappointed me that the little boy I raised and loved so much was anything different then what I saw him to be.

I was still all torn up and confused when you were attacked in that alley. I'm ashamed to say it but it took me seeing you there in that hospital bed to make me realize how stupid I was, how it wasn't you that was changed or different. That you were just what god made you to be, and that it was me that needed to change." Maxwell had to stop here, his speech had dried his throat and the tears on his own face made it hard to see his grandson's face.

"You...you were there? I never saw you...I wanted to see you so much...why didn't come in?" Max said, his voice was small and weak, like that ten year old he used to be.

"I was there. We got the news the day after you were admitted. I followed your Grandmother up there but didn't tell her. I waited for her to leave then I came up and I stood there outside your door, trying to find the courage to come inside and tell you how sorry I was.

I only got a glimpse of you when your mother left the room one night. I was too afraid to see you Max...too afraid that after all the time that had passed that you wouldn't want to see me, that I had lost my chance to tell you I was sorry, to make up for the lost time.

I was afraid that too much time had passed, that you could hate me for what I'd done. That was selfish and stupid of me, if I could have seen through all that for a just a second I would've been in there holding you hand. Whatever you may have felt because of what I did, what ever you may feel now, you need to know that I love you and nothing is ever going to change that, and that I want to do anything I can to make up the last three years." Maxwell said and let his grip slacken.

For a full minute all three of them stood there in quiet contemplation of their situation. Max, quiet and still full of pain. Maxwell, sad and anxious at what his beloved Grandson would say or do next, and Debbie, who had dissolved into silent tears.

"Papaw," Max choked out in emotion as he fell upon the older, taller man, "Papaw, I'm so sorry....I should have come to see you to make things better...I missed you so much and I was so scared that you didn't want to talk to me anymore." Max's resolve broke then, he wept, all his pain and fear against his grandfather's chest and as the older man's arms wrapped around him and that deep and comforting voice rang in his ears he was gone and in his place was the ten year old little boy he used to be, standing safe and secure in his grandpa's arms.

“Max my boy, don’t be sorry; don’t ever be sorry. None of this is your fault. It would have been foolish to expect you to try and fix a problem I made, you were young and scared and in pain. I should have been strong enough to fix this…it took finding out that you were in the hospital again for me to get up the courage. No my darling boy, it's me who should be sorry, and I am so very sorry.” Maxwell said as he held Max closer, his own tears now sliding unrestricted down his face.

They were never sure how long they stood there together, finally taking the comfort each other needed. At some point though Maxwell began to pull away and Max reluctantly let his grip on the older man loosen, but didn’t completely let go, as if he expected his grandfather to suddenly vanish if let go of him.

“So, when do I get to meet the boy who has so captivated my grandson? Is it the Josh you mentioned as you came down the stairs?” Maxwell asked with a wide smile as looks of surprise and joy erupted, respectively on Debbie and Max’s faces.

To be continued……

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I hope you all enjoyed the chapter; I know it is a lot shorter than my previous chapters in this story but it felt SOOO right to leave it here. I will have more for you soon. As always, I love to get your thoughts and opinions so feel free to email me at allenarcane88@yahoo.com, drop me a PM, write me a review or visit the discussion forum.

I read and respond to everything.

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