Max and Josh - 17. Admission

Disclaimer: This story includes sexual and romantic situations between consenting individuals. Any allusion to illicit or illegal activity, sexual or otherwise, is used only for enhancement of the story line and not promotion thereof. Remember AIDS, HIV and other STDs are a very real threat, please always practice safe sex.

I can prove copyright on this story so please don't copy or remove this story for personal use without my permission.
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Max and Josh 17: Admission

It was the pain in his head that forced Tom to open his eyes; then promptly slam them shut again at the light blaring overhead.

With his eyes still shut he brought his hands up and rubbed at his temples, trying to remember what had happened.

He remembered that he had been thinking about the fight he had with Max Calvin, reliving it for the millionth time; then breaking into his dad's liquor cabinet because of it.

He could still taste the booze on his breath when he exhaled and had to fight the urge to vomit, he really did hate drinking.

Tom had downed the booze, trying to forget what Max had told him, how worthless he was. The liquor didn't help though, if anything it made the memory sharper, more clear; etching his self-loathing even deeper. He knew at some point, for some reason, he had turned to his sketch book like so many nights before,

He remembered he had torn the sketches from the pad, intent on destroying them. He knew that he hadn't though because he remembered them been scattered around him as he held the gun to his head.

Tom sat up quickly, which made his head swim and his stomach churn, it didn't matter though. Something had happened, someone had stopped him. With his eyes still closed he stood up shakily, only to be pushed back onto his bed.

"Stay down you damn fool, you fall over and you'll end up giving yourself a concussion." A male voice came through his haze, he knew that voice.

"Xander?" Tom asked as he opened one eye, only to see Max sitting across from him.

                                                             *      *      *

Max flipped through the sketches in his hands, he was repulsed and confused. He recognized several of the guys that were depicted with Tom in the sketches. All of them were present or former victims of Tom's bullying and abuse.

What sickened and confused him most wasn't who was depicted, but what they were doing.

He had heard about such violence on the news, read about it in the papers and online but something about seeing it depicted here in such life like detail, even if it had never really happened, really caused it to strike home.

Absorbed as he was in his thoughts Max didn't even notice that Tom was stirring, not until he suddenly sat up and tried to stand.

"Stay down you damn fool, you fall over and you'll end up giving yourself a concussion." Max pushed Tom back onto the bed.

"Xander." Tom said as he opened one eye and his face immediately turned from sickened to shock.

"It's Max, no one but Danny calls me Xander. I think we can drop the code names though." Max motioned to a plaque hanging on the wall by the door s he spoke, 'Thomas Daniel Moure', inscribed in the brass.

"What the fuck are you doing here?” Tom tried to struggle to his feet again, only for Max to push him back down onto the bed.

"I came here to keep you from offing yourself." Max said but Tom shook his head.

"How did you find out about that?" Tom asked and Max had to keep from saying something rude, Tom was drunk and apparently a little disturbed, he had to be careful here.

"I just told you Tom. I'm XANDER, Maxwell AleXANDER Calvin. I messed with my middle name to use as a cover name on the PCH. It's me you've been talking to. You called me a few hours ago, drunk, and told me what you were going to do." Tom looked up at him as he spoke, still confused but a little more put together than he had looked before.

"Why did you come? I was doing what you told me, I figured you'd have been ecstatic." Tom said with venom.

"I wasn't being literal Tom. Despite how much of a prick you are I don't want you dead." Max said but Tom just looked angrily up at him.

"Fuck you Calvin." Tom said and Max saw an opening.

"I'd ask if that was an offer, but judging by these I don't think I'm you're type." Max said as he tossed a few of the sketches he was holding onto the floor in front of Tom.

Max took a reluctant delight at the look on Tom's face as he saw the sketch on the top of the pile but made no move to reach for them.

"That's Derek Marrins," Max said as he picked up the sketches and showed Tom the topmost one, "You gave him a black eye and a busted lip two years ago because you claimed he was checking you after gym. That looks just like the locker room at school, is that what you really wanted to happen? Did you want your hands tied behind your back, a jockstrap used for a gag while he fucked you up against the wall?" Max was doing his best to keep the disgust out of his voice as he threw the picture back down on the floor.

Max didn't stop there though; he pulled out two more pictures and held them up.

"I recognize these two also," Tom was looking shell shocked as he shook the sketch in his left hand first," Jimmy Redding, you worked him over pretty good. I bet you remember that, after all you guys are in the middle of the gym; looks like he's got you knocked out over the weight bench. I've never seen a barbell used to restrain someone before." Max tossed the sketch on the floor before calling his attention the one in his right hand.

"Carter, Carter Pierce, you remember him right? You tormented him for months, day in and day out till he finally left school. He's in a lot of these. He's usually got an arm around your throat while he's fucking you, just like when you'd put him in that head lock he hated so much." Max spat, finally unable to keep the disgust out of his voice as he wadded up the paper and through it in the floor, ignoring Tom's sudden look of outrage as the sketch was crumbled.

"This is the one that got my attention the most," Max said taking the picture from the very bottom of the stack, "From the level of detail here I'd say that it's your favorite." Max said as he held up a particularly detailed sketch.

Tom was in the center of the sheet naked on a mattress. Stood around him were all of the guys from the pictures that he had already used, and a few more that he didn't recognize. All of the guys were naked as well; their bodies were sketched in vivid, almost loving detail. Their hard, dripping cocks pointed at Tom while two of them held his arms down on the bed.
Carter was standing behind Tom's raised hips, his hands gripping him tightly. Though not explicitly drawn the exquisitely drawn look of pain on Tom's face left no doubt in Max's mind as to what was going on.

When Max had first seen this one it wasn't the realization that it was a cut out of a violent gang-bang that shocked him so thoroughly, it was the looks of utter malice and hatred on the faces of his attackers that got him. These guys were small, skittish guys that couldn't hurt a fly but in all of the sketches they had Tom at their mercy...and it seemed that in each one Tom had drawn a look of pure pleasure onto his face...except the last one, surrounded by all his attackers, pain easily etched into his features.

"Is this really what you wanted whenever you were beating the hell out of these guys? Getting raped by them?" Max asked and Tom looked up at him, for once it was impossible for Max to place his expression.

"I don't have to tell you shit." Tom’s face was defiant but his voice was quiet.

"You're right; you don't have to tell me a damn thing. You don't owe me an explanation. I just...I just want to help Tom. From the calls to the PCH and these sketches, it's easy to see you've got problems. I just wanted to help." Max was quiet as he let the sketches fall back to the floor.

"Why do you care?" Tom asked suddenly.

"I care...I care because you shouldn't have to feel like you do." Max said and Tom suddenly looked angry.

"You don't have ANY idea how I feel. You think this is what I want!" He nearly shouted as he picked up the sketches and threw them at Max's face.

Max didn't react; he just let them fall to the floor.

"It's pretty hard not to Tom, I mean look at these," Max said as he held up the sketches again, "If this isn't what you want, what is? I swear I just want to help." Max implored.

Tom didn't answer for awhile. He picked up the sketches and stacked them back up, holding them in his hands staring.

"I don't...I don't WANT it to happen like these...but it's the only way it ever could happen, if it was against my will. It would be the only way my father wouldn't kill me. After all the shit I've done, all the guys I've hurt because I'm a fucking chicken shit...I don't deserve for it to be any other way. Getting used...being fucked and thrown away...it's what I deserve." Max could hear the pain in Tom’s voice.

"No one deserves that Tom...I don't care what you've done. You've beaten these guys up, made their lives hell, no point in denying that. But being used, degraded...raped...that’s not equal punishment...maybe all of them getting together and beating the hell out of you...but not these." Max tried to lighten Tom’s mood and to his surprise he actually smiled, for a second.

"What am I supposed to do?' Tom asked sarcastically.

"Get help." Max said simply.

"How am I supposed to do that, you're not a shrink, no matter how much you want to be. I can't go to my parents, dad would go nuts. You don't know what he's like, what it's like for...how he is about guys like...like me." That manic note was back in his voice.

"There are a bunch of counselors and therapists working probono with the PCH. If you talk to any of them then they can't tell your folks, doctor patient crap." Max reached into his backpack and pulled out a paper with a list of names on it.

"Why are you helping me?" Tom asked again and Max had to fight the desire to smile at the tone in his voice, Max put it somewhere between awe and curiosity.

"Like I said, you don't deserve it; no one does and it seems that I'm the only one you trust to help you out. What else am I going to do?" Max asked and Tom looked confused.

"I don't trust you, I don't even like you." Tom said but there was no anger or malice in his voice.

"I don't like or trust you either Tommy boy but you did trust me, after a fashion. You trusted Xander enough to talk to him, three times. So face it, on some level you trust me." Max spoke with a ghost of a smile.

Tom didn't answer; he just stared down at the list of names in his hands.

"Look Tom...it's established, we don't like or trust one another. Simple fact is I kept you from blowing your head off. I need to know that if I leave here I'm going to see you in school tomorrow morning, if there is even an inkling of the idea of you killing yourself tonight still in your mind...I can't walk out of here; and I'll know if you're lying." Max said with every trace of seriousness in his voice.

Again Tom was quiet; Max didn't know what he was thinking. He could spot a liar but not read minds, though he wished at that exact moment that he could. He felt a very screwed up connection to Tom now.

Knowing they were both gay wasn't really it, nor was it the fact that they both apparently had very shitty fathers...Max didn't know what it was but he KNEW he had to help Tom, had to keep him from killing himself.

"I...can't tell you that I DON'T want to kill myself...but I'm not going to...at least not tonight." Tom said without looking up at Max.

"That's the best I can hope for I guess." Max stood up and picked up his bag.

Before Max could leave though he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and he was spun around to face Tom.

"Don't tell anyone." Tom said and Max breathed a sigh of relief.

"I have to tell a few people. Just my mom...I have to tell her why I'm so late...and Josh. I promise they won't say anything. I swear." Tom looked scared for a few minutes before he nodded his agreement.

"You know for one shocking moment I was afraid you were going to hug me." Max said and Tom looked dubious.

"In your dreams Calvin...now get the hell out of here before I toss you out the window," Tom said as he turned away from Max. Before Max got out the door though Tom spoke again, "Beside, you'd go tell your boyfriend that I hugged you and he'd come after me with a butchers knife." Tom said quietly and Max smiled.

"Naah, meat cleavers are more his style." Max said as he left the room and headed down stairs.

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Max lay down on the couch as soon as he got home, kicked off his shoes and put his glasses on the table. He knew Mrs. Reeves had called his mom; he left his shift ten minutes early, hadn't signed out, and had ignored Mrs. Reeves when she tried to find out what was going on.

Mrs. Reeves was a good woman; she cared about her students and took care of them, especially the ones that volunteered for her projects. He knew checking the caller ID would show her cell number, when she hadn't reached him there she would have paged his mom.

He laid back and tried to get comfortable, he would be in a world of hurt when she got off work.

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Max was sitting in the library during his free period, alone. His temper was a little frayed. His moms near screamed admonishment still rang in his memory.

She had been furious with him, just like he knew she would be. He had willingly, knowing full well what the consequences could be, put himself in a very dangerous situation. He had gone to the home of someone who had a history of violent behavior, toward him and others, who was also under the influence and most likely armed considering he had confessed he was going to commit suicide.

Not only had she loudly and angrily drilled all those points into his head but also noted that he wasn't invincible and how badly even a minor gunshot could have been with his condition. That’s when Max had gotten angry himself, they had promised once before that Max's medical issues would never be brought up in a disagreement.

After telling her he did what he had to do and that she would have done the same thing in his place, he told her he didn't regret his decision and that if she wanted to punish him to go ahead and do it. At then he had stormed up the stairs to bed. He didn't regret their argument till that morning.

That was another Calvin trait, they were stubborn, convinced that they were right in any argument and unfortunately he wasn't immune, though he did try to be amiable.

The argument with his mom wasn't what had him going though; he knew that after a few days they'd be apologizing and things would start to get back to normal. It was Josh that had him most upset.

He picked Josh up early that morning, and explained to him what happened. Josh's understanding attitude toward his concern for 'Danny' changed drastically when he found out that Danny was actually Tom Moure.

Josh wasn't angry at him, nor did he shout at him like his mom had; but Max wished he had.

The shear shock and fear Josh showed cut Max much deeper than anger. Josh said he understood what Max had done but no matter what, he couldn't be OK with Max risking his safety for Tom; even it was to save his life.

Josh had asked him for some time to think, he promised he'd be able to talk to him by the end of the day and since then Josh had been avoiding him like the plague. Max didn't know what to do. He had no intention of turning Tom away if he asked for help...but what would his personal quest cost him?

Max flipped the pages of his history book without paying attention. He knew he shouldn't be dwelling on it, that he should studying but he couldn't, not right now.

"We're not on that section yet." Fay's voice snapped Max out of his thoughts; he looked up to see her smiling down at him.

"You look like someone ran over your dog." Fay said as she sat down across from him.

"I don't have a dog Fay." Max said with a smile.

"Duh, I know that. It's an expression. But seriously, what's wrong?" Fay asked as he rested his head on his arms.

Max wanted to tell her, but he couldn't; she hated Tom with more of a vengeance then even Josh could muster. Her reaction would be worse than anyone’s; he didn't put it passed Fay to smack him for it.

"I can't tell you. Suffice it to say that I did something very noble and very foolish last night. Because of that I pissed off mom and disappointed Josh. I am currently on the outs with both of them." Max said without looking up at Fay, he could see in his mind the darkness that came over her eyes when she was angry.

"Let me guess...you saved Tom Moure from committing suicide." Max's head snapped up so quickly at her words he cracked his neck.

"How?" Max asked...Josh had promised not to say anything...but his mother hadn't...god how could he have been so stupid...she probably called his parents...or worse.

"Josh told me...indirectly. He's sort of out on the football field pacing around muttering to himself. I sort of stood there and listened. He's pretty broken up, that I know...I wouldn't have told him I was there but I had to stop him, someone else could have come along." Fay said looking upset.

"I suppose you're going to attempt to slap me now right?" Max asked, he was trying to be funny but knew he was failing.

"Why ever would I slap you?" Fay asked with heavy sarcasm," You walked out of the PCH volunteer program that you've been talking about all summer, rushed over to Tom Moure's house, who incidentally has tried to beat the hell out of you AND Josh a dozen times. You went into his house knowing he was drunk, violent, and probably armed considering he told you he was going to kill himself. Why ever would I want to slap you?" Max had the mad desire to glare threateningly at her but knew she would just laugh at him.

"Ok, ok, ok. I know, it was stupid, reckless, I could have been killed. I really wish everyone would stop dwelling on that I. AM. ALIVE. And I'm not sorry I went, he had the gun to his head when I walked in, if I hadn't gone he'd be dead. I refuse to apologize, not you, not to mom...not even to Josh." Max said with defiance.

"I'm not looking for an apology, and I doubt Josh is either. Your mom...well I don't know about her." Fay shrugged and Max was surprised.

"You can't tell anyone about this Fay. I know you hate Tom but you can't say anything. My mom knowing is risk enough." Max pleaded earnestly.

"Relax. The evil bastard doesn't deserve you're help, or any as far as I'm concerned but I'll trust your judgment for now." Fay said as she got up and left without a goodbye.

Max put his head back down on the table and reflected. Silently thanking the gods he had enough presence of mind NOT to tell anyone about the sketches. That would be the final nail in his already quickly closing coffin.

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Josh was sitting on the lowered tail gate of Max's truck, watching the other students getting in their cars to leave. Max had dropped a big bomb shell on him that morning. He had put himself in danger to save someone who was on the edge.

Logically he knew he shouldn't be as upset as he was. Tom was abusive and violent but to Max that didn't matter, he was a lost soul in need of help. To Max that was his calling life, taking care of people who couldn't take care of themselves, and Max was good at that. It was like a super power, Max could see right to the heart of a person if he tried, could read and draw out whatever inner pain they were hiding; Josh was living proof of that.

Within a week of their meeting Josh found himself pouring his heart out to his new best friend, even then Max had the ability to know when something was wrong with him and would always take that extra step to help him feel better about himself. He knew deep down that if anyone could help Tom, in anyway, it would be Max.

"Then why don't I want him to?" Josh asked himself quietly.

He...severely disliked...Tom (he could never bring himself to say the word 'hate', his mother had always told him he could never take that word back so he kept from using it), but even if he didn't like him he didn't want Tom dead...especially not by his own hand.

He had to be introspective, he had to figure it out before Max got out to him. He knew that Max was trying to smooth things over with Mrs. Reeves so he had a little bit of time.

Josh was angry, he knew that, not at Max for going but at Tom for putting him in harms way, even though he didn't ask Max to be there. It was irrational but anger always was. Anger he could get over...eventually.

He was scared...Max was alive and in perfect health but he couldn't get the image out of his mind of Max laying on the floor with a bullet hole in his head. He bit his lip and struggled to control his emotions as he pushed the image away and moved on. What really was getting to him though was so simple he felt stupid for not seeing it sooner.

Max would do it again. Josh knew that, all it would take was another phone call from Tom and Max would do it again, rush head long into danger to keep Tom from hurting himself. He knew Max would do it for anyone else because that's who he was. Max protected and healed people.

He didn't know if he was jealous of that fact or not, he was still a little confused. He was self aware enough though to realize that he could talk to Max. Maybe with Max's help he could figure it out.

Josh lay back in the bed of the truck, letting his long legs dangle over the tailgate, and waited for Max to come out.

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Max's head was pounding. He had managed to convince Mrs. Reeves not to kick him off the PCH but she was, to quote her, 'not impressed with his actions'. He knew that if she knew the truth that she wouldn't be acting the way she was but his lie had been convincing, even if she had lost some faith in him.

He was walking up to his truck, the student parking lot nearly empty, and smiled as he saw Josh's long legs hanging over his tail gate. Max walked slowly and quietly till he was standing just in front of Josh, who had his eyes closed and his hands behind his head. He smiled as he leaned closer and gently ran his finger tips up the inside of Josh's legs.

"What the hell!" Josh cried as he shot up looking scared.

"I just wanted to play a bit." Max smiled innocently and Josh smiled at him and wrapped his arms around Max.

"I'm sorry about earlier...I didn't over react but I handled the situation wrong. I think. I'm not sure." Josh said as Max hugged him close.

"You're right, you didn't over react, and you didn't handle it wrong either," Max said as he pushed Josh back to look at him, "I know you're upset with me Josh...I'm not sorry because I went or that I stopped Tom...I am sorry that I made you worry, that I upset you. You know I love you, that I don't want to hurt you or have you upset with me." Max let his thumbs dance up and down the sides of Josh's neck as he spoke.

He knew Josh loved it when he did that, that it calmed him down, he wasn't trying to manipulate him...he just wanted Josh to relax. He smiled a bit as Josh's eyes closed and he felt the tension draining out of his neck and shoulders.

"I'm...I'm not upset with you so much as I am with the way you did things. I know that you know what could have happened and that you just wanted to help and that doing what you did saved Tom's life. It's just that it doesn't seem to register up here," Josh said as he tapped the side of his head, "I keep seeing you hurt or dead. It's going to take time to get rid of that image Max, especially since I know you'll do it again." Josh said as he looked up at him, looking sad.

"Don't look at me like that Max. You've got too big of a heart, you're too nice. If this situation ever repeated itself...you'd go again." Josh’s voice was quiet and Max's realization hit him.

He looked up at the sky and closed his eyes, when he looked down at Josh he smiled.

"I won't do it again Josh. I mean if he calls me and asks me for help with something I'll help him if I can, but if he calls drunk and suicidal...I'll figure something else out I promise. I want to help him, I NEED to but I won't put myself in harms way again. I've been thinking about it a lot...I hurt you, the most important person in my life." Max said as he moved a hand around to the back of his neck, letting his thumb graze through his hair.

Josh pulled him close and rested his head against his chest. Max knew Josh was feeling guilty; he'd have to fix that.

"I know you're feeling guilty Josh, for some warped reason, but don't. Even if you hadn't reacted the way you did earlier I would have come to this decision. I...I don't want to leave you alone." Max whispered and the weight of his actions finally hit him full force.

He felt the tears sting his eyes as he truly realized what could have happened the night before, he could have died...left Josh alone.

"Let's go home." Josh said as he pulled away from Max.

Max smiled as he wiped away the tears on his face.

"Yea let's go, I feel like showing you just how alive I am." Max said and Josh blushed a little bit

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It had been two weeks since his confrontation with Max Calvin, since then he had tried to keep himself under control, tried not to bash on anyone. He had taken to drawing in his sketch book again but the images that he drew had started to freak even him out.

The scenes of abuse and violence he felt compelled to sketch himself into began to get more disturbing. The images that came to his mind weren't just sexually violent anymore. His disgust and self loathing forced him to draw himself into violent, even deadly situations. His most recent sketch had been the most disturbing, He'd drawn himself, broken, bloody, and mutilated in the middle of an alley with all his former victims around him, each holding a pipe, baseball bat, or knives.

Tom had tried forcing himself to draw something else, anything else. He was quite good at nature or still, but people are what he drew best, a fact that had impressed his art teacher as a kid. But his rated-g sketches hadn't done anything to relieve the tension he felt, the need to work out his darker emotions.

He wanted to stop hurting other people, it wasn't their fault he was a pathetic waste of skin, a useless disappointment, but it was either that...or something else.

In desperation he picked up the list of shrinks Max had given him and scanned for someone he could go to, one name toward the top got his attention, for some reason.

David Watcher, Local GSA office. followed by the address.

Tom knew he couldn't go alone....he was too fucking chicken....but there was only one person he could go to.

Tom picked up his cell phone and dialed 411.

"Deborah Calvin." He said when it asked for the name he was looking for.

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Max was lying in bed with Josh, his arm resting on Josh's torso, his fingers dancing gently on across his bare chest.

"I love you." Max whispered for no reason as he rested his head on Josh's chest, just over his heart.

"I love you more." Josh replied as his hand stroked down Max's broad back.

This had become their afternoon ritual again ever since their reconciliation, coming home everyday after school and spending a few hours in bed together, sometimes having sex, but more often than not they'd simply wind up in bed together enjoying the comfort of each other's touches, taste and scent.

Max moved his hand down Josh's sides and raised his head up to start licking and kissing Josh's neck, suddenly feeling frisky and wishing they had taken their underwear off this time.

"Mhmm, I swear you can read my mind." Josh said as he pushed his hand under the waistband of Max's boxer-briefs.

Max only mumbled his agreement as he pushed back into Josh's groping hands, he loved the things those long strong fingers could do to him.

Just as Max moved to straddle Josh's legs they were interrupted by the phone.

"Let it ring, if it's important they'll leave a message." Josh whispered to him as Max pulled away.

Normally Max would have argued but Josh chose to emphasize his statement by running his thumb over the straining tent in Max's underwear.

The phone kept ringing and the two of them kept ignoring it, just as Josh had rolled Max over and was about to relieve him of his boxer-briefs the answering machine kicked in and Max cursed the fact that they hadn't upgraded to voice mail.

After the message announcing him and his mom all action on the bed ceased as Tom's voice came through the speaker on Max's desk.

"Max...its Tom...I've been thinking and I want to meet with one of those shrinks...I found one at the GSA office downtown and I wanted to know if you'd go with me...I know it's pathetic and but I...I don't think I can manage it on my own. Just...give me a call back." and the line went dead.

Quick as a flash Josh had sat up on the side of the bed and was running his hand through his severely short black hair, both he and Max were missing the buzzed look he had sported over the summer.

"Josh..." Max said as he sat up next to him, the concern evident in his voice.

"I'm not going to flip out again Max, don't worry. And I'm not going to tell you not to go, no matter how much I want to, because I know how much this means to you...I just...I really don't like the idea of you being alone with him." Josh’s voice was strained as Max slipped an arm around his waist.

"Josh why are you so afraid of me helping Tom?" Max asked quietly.

"I'd have thought that was obvious." Josh said with a weak smile.

"Beside that Josh. I know something else is going on." Max said before he kissed Josh's shoulder.

"I'm afraid of loosing you. I fell in love with you when you were helping me through my issues...what if the same thing happens to him?" Josh asked in a whisper.

Max would have laughed had it not been for the dead seriousness and fear in Josh's voice.

"Josh look at me." Max said and Josh looked at him tearfully.

"Even on the severe off chance Tom ever developed any sort of feelings for me it wouldn't matter. I belong to you Josh, body, mind, and soul. I'm yours. God could come down here right now and tell me to leave you and it wouldn't happen.

No man or woman will ever take me away from you. I wake up every morning thinking about seeing you and go to bed every night wanting you." Max said with soft determination in his voice as tear's slid down Josh's cheeks.

"I'm sorry Max...I love you so much...I'm just so afraid of loosing you. I'm...I'm still not like you. I don't have that strength you do, that confidence. I worry sometimes that you'll get tired of it." Josh said feebly and Max suddenly felt as though they had gotten to the root of the issue between him and Josh.

"You're stronger than me Josh, stronger than I could ever be." Max said as he wiped away Josh's tears.

Max smiled as Josh wrapped his arms around him and Max pulled him back down on the bed, pressing his lips to Josh's.

Later that night, after a very long and intense bout of lovemaking, Max lay on his side watching his lover sleep. They had talked more about Josh's worries and insecurities and Max was sure he was on the right track with helping him.

"One of these days Josh Mathews, all those worries and insecurities are going to be gone and you'll understand that I'm not going anywhere. I can wait till then though, and enjoy ever second trying to convince you." Max whispered as he stroked a thumb across Josh's soft lips.

Max settled down next to his lover and pulled him close before falling asleep.

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Tom was waiting next to his car by the far side of the football field, where very few people ever parked unless there was a game.

He was staring at the black pickup across from him without trying to look like he was doing so. It had taken him three days to convince Max to go down town with him to the GSA office and now he was waiting for Max to tell him they were good to leave.

Tom was annoyed at having to wait, anxious at what he was about to do and nervous as to the outcome of his first appointment. He watched quietly as Max spoke to Josh, it looked like he was trying to put him at ease.

Despite what a lot of folks thought Tom wasn't a moron. He knew why Josh looked so upset; why he kept shooting him death glares over his boyfriends shoulders.

Josh didn't want him around Max.

Tom didn't really want to be around Max either, yeah the guy had saved his life but...Max was openly gay and he was just trying to keep from picking up the revolver again because of it. If anyone saw him with Max he would be finished.

But Max was the only one he could go to...the only one he felt he could trust. Still though he wasn't heartless...well maybe he was, after all the shit he had done to other people...no matter what was wrong with him he didn't want to mess with what Max had with Josh and as he watched the anxiousness on Josh's face he felt a pang of guilt that hadn't touched him since...he couldn't even remember the last time he felt guilt.

Tom swallowed his mixed feelings as he watched Max kiss Josh before Josh turned to get into his car.

"Hey, come on." Max called to him as he got up into his pick up.

Tom just nodded as he walked over to Max's pick up. He was still leery about the possibility of being seen with Max but he didn't have much other choice.

"You know where this place is?" Max asked as they pulled out school parking lot.

"They've got a floor in that little office building down on thirty first." Tom replied stiffly.

"Got it." Max said with a nod.

                                                             *      *      *

Max could tell that Tom was nervous, he kept fidgeting, which was annoying Max. He had made a few attempts at conversation but Tom kept shutting down. This also irked Max.

By helping Tom out he was putting stress not only on his relationship with his mom but also with Josh, neither of them wanted him to be as involved in Tom's problem as he was, but at least Josh understood somewhat. His excuse of 'just needing to' hadn't flown very well with Deborah. The least Tom could do was be civil with him.

"Here we are." Max said as they pulled up in front of a non-descriptive three story office building.

"It's up on the third floor." Tom said as they stepped inside.

One short elevator ride later they were standing outside of the dark wooden door with Gay Straight Alliance printed on the frosted glass window.

Neither of them knew what to expect once they were inside, the GSA had had an office in town for nearly three years but they didn't seem to be very active in community; not much more than a whisper had been said about them in the local schools or politics.

"I'm here to see Mr. Watcher." Tom said to one of the receptionist once they were inside and Max felt something stir in his memory.

"You must be Mr. Moure. Right this way." She said as she led them through the nearly empty office floor to a small waiting room.

"He'll be right with you." She said and the two of them sat down nervously.

True to her word they had barely sat down before the door opened and Max felt shock run through him. Standing in the doorway was Dave Watcher, the strange fishermen that had helped him with Josh.

"It's you." Max said as he stood up, leaving Tom to look surprised.

"Max my boy; it's good to see you again. I've been wondering what happened to you. After we met by the river my friend Nora Beckman said that she had given you my card a while before. I hoped you'd call. Did things work of you for you and Josh?" Dave asked with a smile.

"Yes Sir they did. But that's not why I'm here. This is Tom Moure." Max said as he grabbed Tom's shoulder and pulled him to his feet.

"Mr. Moure. I was glad to get your call; it would be a great thing if more young men and women sought help with their problems rather then burying them." Dave said as he held out a hand to Tom.

Tom shook his hand but didn't say anything, Max suspected he was feeling a little overwhelmed.

"If you'd like to step into my office we can talk, you're message was a little cryptic." Dave said gently, Max knew he was picking up on it too.

"Can Max come in too?" Tom asked quietly and Max had to hide the surprise he felt, he didn't think that Tom would want him to come in.

Dave though didn't seem surprised; in fact he looked like he expected the question.

"Of course he can, I just want to make it clear though; I want to hear from you, what you have to say. When I consult with someone I don't like to let others speak for them." Dave said carefully and Tom nodded his agreement.

As Dave ushered them inside Max couldn't help think.

'This is going to be interesting.'

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Well I hope yall liked this chapter. As always I need to give a big thanks to Rush for her work in editing. I’d love to get your thoughts so feel free to drop me a PM, an email at allenarcane88@yahoo.com, leave me a review to check out my discussion forum. I read and respond to everything.

Discussion Forum Link
http://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/25049-max-and-josh/