Modern High - 7. Chapter 7

Modern High
The Perfect Sunday

I was still standing there when I heard my mother’s voice from afar, I knew that I had to get a move on it or I might get on my mother’s bad side, and that you never want do. The simple reason is she’s like a cat coming out of water, ready to rip the skin right off you. She was standing at the sign that announced, “Calvary Episcopal Church”. As I made my way towards her, I could clearly see a grin plastered on her lips; I knew at once that she knew something was up by the way I was walking. Could you blame me? I didn’t think so.
She grabbed my arm and walked with me up the stone steps into the church, before I got too far, the sights were to die for, I was looking around and it seemed in slow motion. Literally, the church had marble from the ground up, all in white, and it was nothing less than spectacular. As we continued to walk, my eyes kept searching the place that I’ve forgotten. I searched for Jacob, but couldn’t find him. Still, that didn’t stop me from looking at this masterpiece of a church. While walking I stumbled, my mother looked back at me, asking with her eyes what seemed to be the matter, nothing really. It was this place that made you see things differently. As I passed the pew in its dark rich mahogany wood, I couldn’t help but to look up at the priest, all in white, with golden rope around his waist. He looked very, very familiar to me, I just couldn’t place him any where. I haven’t been to this church in at least six months and now here I am and this church looked like a place I’ve never seen before. My mother and I climbed the stairs, as we rose you could clearly see white and red roses strung together with blue ribbon, very uncommon for a church, but I wasn’t going to tell anyone, if they haven’t figured it out yet.
Finally, we got to the front of the church, where mother sat off towards the choir, but not before she told me to guard her purse and to not leave without giving her a sign of some kind. I know what you’re thinking, “What a great mother, I have” and that is true for the most part, I do have a loving mother. I’m glad that I do, actually, because without her in my life I wouldn’t know if my life would be the same or not. And also I have to give all the credit to my mother for how I have grown up, I would like to think of myself as a well-rounded person, with a heart to match, and whoever says different should cut off their own tongue, literally.
Sitting down in the first pew, I listened as the priest read the names of the people who took their lives. I felt sad as I heard all the names that were being called. You’d think that in this age and generation people would’ve stopped and realized what we as people should have understood already. Taking *a* life, as I recall, is a grievous sin, not one that is taken lightly. I was still sitting and thinking of all the people who chose death over life, and of those who drove them too it. You can never blame a person for being what they truly are; that is they, no matter if they are gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, or lesbian. The god that I wish people would know forgives all and is accepting, if god didn’t want there to be gay, etc., then he would have never made any of us, including me (gay), and for that I am truly grateful.
Bowing my head when the preacher started to pray for all the people who have died and the people who are sick or have requested our pray, and for Christ to forgive those who have sinned, I felt ashamed of what this church has become. The moment the preacher said “amen”, I lifted my head to see Jacob, all in blue, walking towards the priest, and then it clicked; I knew who and what the priest was to me; he’s is a close personal friend of my mother’s. I grinned just realizing that... and then I saw Jacob pointed his finger over towards me. My heart raced, making me shake in my seat, wondering what Jacob was telling that man. As they reached the closing to their conversation, Jacob turned towards me and my heart almost jumped out of my chest, making it skipped a few beats. Before I had time to calm down and think clearly, Jacob stood before me with a smile that lit up this side of the sanctuary. I felt too afraid to even look up, and my heart skipped a few more beats. Then I heard Jacob say something, I have no clue what it was; my heartbeat was pounding in my ears. Before I realized it, he took the seat next to me. And when I say ‘next to me’, I mean really close, maybe one or two inches. Being very close to this god, I wished I was as brave as him, but knowing that I had a long road ahead of me, I looked away, trying to find something to distract me from him, Mister Perfect.
My body shook me from what I was looking at; it seemed that I was not really controlling what I did, because I watched as my head turned towards him. It was as though I was a third person trapped inside my body; it seemed surreal to me that I had no control over what my brain thought I needed. As my head kept turning, and my breath caught in my throat, I would have been so glad if I if I could have passed out. Not knowing what was to come next, my eyes caught his, just like in the parking lot. But this time it seemed to last longer than before, I looked into his deep turquoise eyes, trying to find his soul, and I think he chose to do the same; that made me smile all the more. I blushed after I realized that he had the sexiest eyes I have ever seen, and you could call this lust, if you must, but I wouldn’t. Not yet, anyway. My heart decided it was safe enough to slow the fast pace it was at. I was thankful, but not totally. I still didn’t know where this thing was going, more than that, what the outcome would be.
I have a question for all those people out there in the world, does anyone believe in true love or love at first sight? I only ask that because looking at Jacob in his suit, the dark blue that contrasted with his eyes, the most amazing eyes in the world. Along with his nose, his wasn’t what I would call long, but it had its moment. I also wouldn’t say that it was crooked or anything, for that matter. Jacob’s face was nothing but pure pleasure to look at, the lips that came with him more than did him justice. Even though Jacob’s lips were perfect in every aspect, my mind switched over to, you know, naughty thoughts. Could you blame me? Well maybe, and the thought was served with one of my own, with me getting hard from it.
“What are you thinking about, Zach?” Jacob’s soft sweet voice whispered to me.
“I… ummm... was just thinking...” How could I even think about telling him? What would I say, hmm, that I was thinking about him and me fooling around, that I have no control over what my mind does? God, why does this have to be difficult, just like every other thing that I have ever have done? ‘Grrr,’ I thought to myself, taking a few more breaths to calm myself, I still wasn’t sure what to even say to him.
“Well, ummm. Look Jacob, you’re…” I face palmed myself and hung my head. I knew that I was acting like a moron; I couldn’t even say what I really wanted to say. Taking the time that I needed to collect myself, I started to remember what happened with Toby and me. You would think that if I got through that, it would be a piece of cake to talk to a hottie like Jacob. But I wasn’t fooling myself; Jacob is and always will be an out-of-my-league type of person, one I can never have. I hung my head even lower thinking that he never really was interested in me and that he must think of me as a pitiful person.
I took the chance, I lifted up my head a little and saw what I must have thought of as a god sent to me. As I lifted up my head a bit more, but not by much, I looked into the face of a perfect guy, a face that god himself must have created. He smirked at me and I blushed, I felt even more of a fool. I can’t believe I blushed!
“Is there something you want to tell me Zach?” he asked in a very sweet way that made my heart soar.
“Well there was something that I wanted to ask you, but I’m afraid that you might think of me as a fool; to even bring it up would be a sin.” I hung my head again, well, I tried to anyway. Jacob, put his hand underneath my chin to lift it back up, and he laughed saying, “Why must you always do that, I mean it is cute to actually see a guy blush and hang his head. Plus, if I’m not mistaken, you ‘face palmed’ yourself, which, by the way, is even cuter. You also must think that I’m taking pity on you, and I must agree, at first it seemed like it, but you know, as this Sunday just keeps going, I find myself wanting to get to know you, before it’s too late.”
I smiled a full-on smile, I must have looked like a moron and, well, to tell you the truth, I kinda liked it. However, this conversation was anything but over.
As we talked about almost everything underneath the sun and beyond, I was still not sure about him being gay, or at least bisexual, and I really wanted to know that, but I was too much afraid to even start on that topic of conversation. The conversation that we were having before the priest said that it was over for this Sunday and he would like to see everyone back here the following Sunday. How could I not be here for Sunday, unless I’m dead and which, hopefully, I would not be? The subject that we were discussing was none other than girls, and to be frank about it, I had nothing to add to it, but I didn’t stop Jacob from talking about them, he blushed every time. When he was asking about sex with a female and how he would go about doing that, I had nothing to really say because, again, I wasn’t into girls. Guys, on the other hand, hell yes! I would be talking them until I was blue in the face and probably beyond that. What can I say? Girls, hmm that’s a toughie, but one that I have no feelings for. On the other hand, *Guy’s* in general, or in topic, or in subject, there would be no stopping me. My hormones are for the guys not the girls. So if Jacob thought that I would help him... Well, that also answered my question about him being gay or bisexual. The other thing I have to also bring to attention is, *What IF Jacob doesn’t like gays?* Would that be a problem? I would say, YES! To Almighty God, yes, that would be a major problem, but one that I want to fix soon.
As for the conversation, we had to leave it at as that, just a conversation, I would be frightened if my mother caught us talking about that, well maybe not frightened, but more on the lines of embarrassed, till I was old and gray. LOL. Nah, probably not, considering my mother, she would not even suspect a thing, and that proved to be it. My mother came walking up to us as we stood, and shook hands telling each other, “It was nice to meet you and we had a very wonderful conversation. Wouldn’t you agree?”
I love my mother to death, but does she have to stand there and watch as we split up? I would think she aught too, well maybe in her book, but you could clearly see it on my face, shock and embarrassment. I was overwhelmed by meeting Jacob. I had trouble in the beginning even talking to Jacob, but towards the end, I would say that it actually was good, considering.
When Jacob left, he walked past my mother and over to the altar, where the priest stood. That left me alone with my mother and as you can tell, she also had a smile, one that made her dimples come out to play. She had one thing to say, “I’m glad that you’re making more friends, Zach. I wouldn’t have picked you as the type to make new ones. What happened with Nathan, Nichole, Ashley, and Candice? I thought they were still your friends.” She had to ask, and put her input into everything, but as a good son, what was I suppose to do? She still hasn’t really come to terms with what she wanted to ask me... Well, maybe she has.
“They’re still around, Mom, just not as much… They do have lives of their own. And well, I’m just not included as much as I used to be.” What? Can you blame me? I just started talking to them again, well maybe not just started to, it’s been like what, three or four weeks since I found out they have the same lunch as me?
“Oh, well I just figured I would see them more often, that’s all… Honey.” Great, now, I have made her upset. Why, oh why do I have to be so unconcerned with people? I must seem like a selfish person and my world revolves around me. If you’ve been reading this, and I hope you have, I would say that I do agree with most people out there, I am a selfish prick who needs to be put in his place.
“I’m sorry, Mom… I didn’t… Ugh! I’m just sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset,” I said, and then I hugged her. I only have her in my life, along with very great friends. Does she know what happened last night? If she was home she would have heard noise that I’m pretty sure Nathan and the gang made. I really do need to come up with a name for our group, without them I have nothing to look forward to in school, especially with everything that’s going on.
“It’s OK, dear. Maybe I was being a little pushy,” she declared, which I think was wrong. It wasn’t her that made me do a selfish thing. And I had to tell her that.
“No, no. It wasn’t your fault so don’t blame yourself, I was acting like a stupid teenager who needs to grow up and face things as they are.” Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong. Who really knows?
“Well alright, hun. Can we go to lunch, maybe that one new restaurant by lake? You know, that we saw on the way to grandma’s?”
Oh, no, no, no I can’t! I won’t accept that, because once that happens, we’ll surely be on our way to grandma’s house. For the people who don’t know my grandmother, it’s like this. She is a person who goes by the bible, nothing can get past her, if you ever try to make a point with her, you’ll surely lose. My grandma isn’t a person I want in my life, she has made it hell, by making me a church going person, for one thing, by making me do everything for her, for another. I can’t do anything right, I’m always wrong. When I’ve made her mad, guess what she would make me do? Grandma Sylvia would make me clean out her garage, take out the trash, clean the sky high piles of dishes, scrub the floor with a tooth brush, for god’s sake! She would make me walk around the house with a bible on top of my head. So if my mother even thinks about going to that bitch’s house, I will surely want to kill myself, and no, people, that isn’t a joke, that summer was hell. And another thing, you never want to be with her when she shops! How do you think my mother got her personality? But thankfully, she didn’t turn out like her mother.
“Well, only if, and I mean if, we don’t go to Grandma’s house. Please,” I whined asking her, she looked taken aback by that. Well, could you blame me? I didn’t think so.
“Why wouldn’t you want to go visit your lovely grandmother?” she had to ask. Why did she have to ask? Just to torture me more. That’s why.
“Because… Because she’s creepy, and old. Plus she’s senile, and also, didn’t I tell you about what she made me do when I argued with her? Don’t you remember? I told you everything that day when you picked me up. And I never, ever want to go back. So please, do me a favor and don’t make me go!” I said all that in the most childish way.
She had a funny look on her face when I said that, and here’s what she had say, “Well, if you put it that away, then you don’t have to go, but I would like you to stop talking about your grandmother like that, please, and if you do then you won’t have to be made to go there anymore. I was once made to do everything by that women, so I guess in a way, I agree with you. But she is still my mother, and I love her dearly.”
After that I guess we ran out of things to talk about; it got awkward actually. I don’t know why it happened, but ever since this morning, my mom and me haven’t been the same. It’s like we were trying to forget about what happened in the car. Maybe that’s what it was, the car ride that made us lose what we had. Maybe if we forgot about it, things might be better, but in reality, we all know that isn’t going to happen as much as we both would like. From here on out, it’s going to be hard to actually be in a house together and not bump into each other.
“Oh, I almost forgot, Son. I invited some friends along with us to lunch, I know that we were suppose to go by ourselves, but I think if we had friends around it wouldn’t be that bad. Especially now that we don’t have your father with us, and I know how much you loved him, and he loved you. So please don’t get mad or throw a fit, please. That’s all I ask of you.” She looked right at me when saying that, and I was upset when she mentioned it but, you know, she’s right, we do need friends around to make the situation less difficult for both of us. I know it’s been two weeks so far, but you just can’t turn off your emotions, as much as you would like.
“Alright, I guess you’re right. We do need friends around to make the situation at home less horrible. So in a way, I’m thankful that you went ahead and did it.” After I said that, I hugged her, it was filled with love that you can only give someone who means a lot to you.
“Well, here are the keys; go start the car, I’ll only be a couple of minutes. I have to tell the others where we plan on going.” She kissed me on the cheek.
“MOM!”
She laughed when she turned around, but that was actually a good thing that she’d laughed, it meant that things were looking up.
On the way to the car, I kept looking for that special someone that I met today, but the only problem was I couldn’t find him anywhere. Nowhere to be seen, I guess after the talk we had it was the end of this beautiful day. I let my thinking go and let it wonder, meaning it took control of itself and let me remind myself of this wonderful day that started with waking up. This day that came so far, but there was still a way to go. I couldn’t help but think that my mother knows about me and I can’t change that. I wish to the heavenly gods to let it slip from her mind, let it go and move on.
I have to say, parents have a way of bringing up topics, and that includes being gay, what parent in their right mind would? I mean, c’mon, is it like obvious that parents can sense that their children aren’t going to be fathering kids or becoming mothers? Alternately, do parents have this intuition to bring up the fact that their kids are hiding something from them? I haven’t a clue, but I can tell you this, my mother will not, I repeat WILL NOT, find out about me until I am ready to actually come out of this god forsaken closet that I have put myself into.
Moving on, my mind seemed to be thinking along the lines of Jacob, and to tell you the truth, once I saw Jacob again, the picture enhanced itself. Moving very slowly, I got a very good look at him. That first time, seeing him behind the rays of sunshine, my breath was caught in my throat, for this was truly a once in a lifetime type of thing. Seeing him walk slowly towards the light, with his robes slowly swaying behind him in the brisk air that followed, I looked at his eyes once they came into contact with the sun, still walking slowly towards the priest. You could say that his eyes sparkled with the sun, dancing to entertain the people that looked at him, those turquoise colored eyes danced for me, like they did for the people looking at him. When it came time for him to finally step up to the priest, Fr. Alexander, he flashed me a smile that lit up my world, well lit it up again. Talking with Fr. Alexander and that finger pointed at me, I can seriously recall how much of an impact he had on me, and he still does. I sighed, well, I thought I sighed in my head, but I could hear myself from inside my head. I know, how weird is that? As I was saying, I can recall my heart feeling as if it was going to jump outside of my chest, sweat started to pour out of me, like I was getting drenched with water, but instead it was this thick sweat that poured out with every beat of my heart, my hands got the most sweaty, as I tried to wipe it off on my jeans. Seeing the stains that I was putting on them, I didn’t care, as long as when he touched my hand he wouldn’t notice that I sweat a lot when nervous.
When Jacob actually came over too me, my hands were what I didn’t want Jacob to touch, for fear that he might think of me as a weird kid. My mind seemed to think it was time to skip ahead, stopping roughly around the time that he melted my heart, and I thought about love at first sight. I want to tell you that this day has been one that I knew I would not soon forget. I wanted to kiss those luscious lips of Jacob’s, but knowing now that he didn’t feel the way I do about guys, I was pretty sure he would kick my ass. If I leaned over and tried to kiss him, what do you think would have happened? 1) He would probably kick my ass, even being in a church, 2) He would probably think of me as a creep or a pervert, 3) He would like it if, and only if, he were semi like me. With thinking that, I can safely say I took the easiest way out and didn’t try anything, and my mind regretted it.

Jacob

When I first saw Zach in the parking lot after he had bumped into me, I thought that he was a sure fire winner for any woman, meaning that he was a looker. Zach wore a white dress shirt, with a blue and black mixed jacket, along with a tie that had black and red diagonal stripes that complemented his shirt that had blue pinstripes. Oh, and his black pants matched his jacket. His hair, blondish brown, seemed to pop with what he was wearing and at that thought, I wished he was not. What I could see was that his face was nothing but perfect, perfect blue eyes that sparkled when he looked up at me, I smirked. His nose showed his freckles; I thought it was cute. His nose is short, to tell you the truth, with a little bump by his bridge. His lips are what drew me in. They were what you would call gorgeous. Plump, juicy, red, delicious lips is what he had, and to make it worse, my member decided to make itself known; that’s when I told him that I needed to get in the church.
I looked back at him and threw him a smirk that would surely make him think something was up. Walking up the concrete steps and towards his mother, I looked away and kept walking. I didn’t want her to actually see who I was, because, for one thing, she knew my father, the priest of this church, and for another, I surely didn’t want her to see what her son has done to me. As soon as I was in the church, I rushed towards the back hallway, hanging left and kept going until I came to the bathroom. Rushing in, I saw that nobody was in here with me. I raced to the stall. Slamming the door behind me and locking it, I pulled down my pants started to relieve myself, thinking of nothing but the gorgeous guy I had just met, his name is Zachary Martin, what a hot and enthralling name he has. My mind replayed his soft gentle voice over and over again. I kept pumping my tool until I soon felt the sensation that would bring me to the edge of ecstasy. Holding nothing back, I whispered Zach’s name loudly, “Zach!!” And as my man seed start to spurt and spurt then spurt again, I thought it would never stop. But it soon did. Looking at the toilet bowl and seeing my swimmers there, and feeling exhausted, I put my hand on the stall to hold myself up.
Pulling my pants back up after my lungs were back to normal, I heard my father start the prelude of the day, and that was my queue to get back before it was too late. Walking back to the sanctuary, I looked back on what I had just done. ‘Why, must every Hot Guy I meet have to give me a hard-on? I haven’t a clue, but I can tell you this, it wasn’t wasted,’ I thought, and smirked.
I soon was nearing the sanctuary, walking up to my father, but before that, I saw Zach sitting there near the Choir with his head bowed, praying like the rest of the congregation. Very soon I was next to my father and asked him if we could have lunch with Mrs. Martin, he looked at me like I was kind of annoying, like I was interrupting him. He didn’t say anything actually, it was in his look. I looked sideways and saw Zach look at me and then very quickly divert his eyes away from me, but I had a surprise for him. I smiled at him and pointed a finger towards Zach, my dad followed my finger and told me to go, and that did it. I made my way slowly over to Zach, beautiful Zach. My body trembled with every step I made, making me nervous for no reason, but you see, there is a reason for me to be nervous. It happens like this a lot of times, especially when I’m going to be sitting and or talking to a very cute, gorgeous guy like Zach.
I stood in front of him; he had his head down, not even trying to look up at me. I thought it was cute, him trying to make it seem that he wasn’t interested in me. I looked down at him smirking. It just seemed very cute and adorable watching Zach act like this. I giggled and shook my head. I know I shouldn’t really be doing this, especially in church. But everyone takes chances, right? I thought so. Very slowly, Zach lifted his head to meet mine, still with his eyes down. I decided that he wasn’t even going to make the effort to look at me, I didn’t know why though, what’s so special about me? I haven’t a clue, but apparently to Zach there was something about me that he liked.
I sat two inches away from him. I tried to make it seem that I did intentionally. Still Zach didn’t lift up his head, he just turned it towards the altar. I was only, like, two minutes away from just giving up and going back to the sanctuary, behind my father. It seems that I didn’t need to; Zach turned his head slowly towards me, lifting it up a little bit at a time, I smirked at him, making it seem that I was friendly. Did it work? Hell if I know, I just know that it showed something in Zach. His cheeks turned a pretty pink color, I smiled again, hopefully it would open him up... but it didn’t.
“Is there something you want to tell me Zach?” I had to ask, my heart beat increased dramatically.
“Well there was something that I wanted to ask you, but I’m afraid that you might think of me as a fool; to even bring it up would be a sin,” he told me, and then he put his head back down, I think in shame. I felt that I wanted to help him anyway possible, but how could I when I don’t even know what he wants to ask me in the first place? Yes, I was caught in a Catch-22 scenario.

Skipping ahead, you already know what happens!

I saw Zach heading to the parking lot, with his mother’s keys in his hand. Swinging them around, he bumped into something, and he didn’t even seem to care. I laughed at him for it, but he just kept walking, hanging his head in the process. I think he likes to do that a lot. What do you think, does he or doesn’t he? Lol, sorry I had to ask. Anyway, when he came to the concrete steps, Zach paused there. I think he was in thought, because of the way he just stood, looking out in the parking lot. Then he shook his head and walked very slowly down them, one step at a time. I thought it was weird, but again, what isn’t weird these days?
I walked with him, well not with him, but behind him. Keeping a safe distance from him. I stalked him until he came to the side of the church, and that was my queue. I sped up a little and met him at the corner, almost scaring myself really.
“Hey Zach, could you like, tell me what that whole thing was about?” I asked, while I tried to catch my breath.
“Huh, what….What are you talking about?” he asked, while leaning up against the wall of the church, he looked very hot in that position.
“I was saying, why don’t you finish telling me that thought, before you changed the subject,” I had to be very careful with this, or it just might backfire on me, and well I didn’t want that too happen.
“Why are you even, bringing that up, I thought… Well just forget about it, OK?” Zach hung his head again, this time I didn’t think it was cute or anything, well maybe something, but definitely not cute. It made me like reconsider why I actually find him, well, attractive.
‘Why not just show him that he has nothing to be afraid of, but what can I show him? I mean look at him, the way he’s acting right now, shows that I cant do anything to convince him that he can surely trust me.’ I thought, and then I thought ‘Maybe there is something, but that would be extremely risky, especially if he isn’t like me.’
On a whim, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. In shock he pushed me back, but the look he gave me was anything but disgust.
“Why would you do that?” He asked, still looking shocked.

Till Next Time
((Hugz—Kizzes))
Remijay <3

Edited By Pete