No Fairytale World - 4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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“So.”

Andy didn’t answer; he continued making circles on the table with his finger, his eyes blank and his shoulders hunched.

Pete took a seat across from him and flicked a rolled up napkin at him. “You’ve been moping around since Friday night. It’s Sunday and the sun is out after an entire week of cloud, rain, and wind. You need to cheer up.”

“Can’t,” Andy said glumly. “I had a bad phone conversation with Susan yesterday. The call you pressured me to make.”

“Hey, you finally got to talk with her,” Pete pointed out, his brows arched. “It’s progress. Ever heard the saying it has to get worse before it gets better? Well, my friend, be prepared for some massive pain and only then will there be hope to move forward.”

Andy shot him a dark look, a frown etching his features . His face felt heavy and tired.

Pete squirmed in the seat and let out a loud sigh. “Can we please go out and do something? Have you eaten yet?”

“You can go,” Andy said grumpily.

“Not without you.”

Andy’s head snapped up and he stared at Pete. “How come?” he asked, his curiosity momentarily getting him out of his funk.

“Because I couldn’t go out and have a good time knowing you’re moping at home, stinking like ass, crying your eyes out, and starving yourself,” Pete said matter of factly.

Andy’s mouth fell open. “What?” he squeaked. “I don’t stink like ass, and I’m not crying, and I do so eat!”

“Dude, you haven’t showered the entire weekend, and I saw those tissues in the garbage and in your room, and you haven’t eaten anything except for some crackers,” Pete stated.

Andy sputtered, blinking rapidly as he felt his anger grow. “You don’t understand!” he snapped defensively.

Pete didn’t even flinch. “No, I don’t,” he agreed. “I have an idea from the surface, but I don’t know the details. Even if I did, I wouldn’t feel it at your level. All I can do from my end is to try to cheer you up, get you out of the house, or get your mind off your troubles.”

“Why?” Andy asked. “It’s not like we’re friends or anything.”

“God, you’re a stubborn ass,” Pete muttered. “Just because we’re not friends doesn’t mean I like seeing you in pain. I don’t know you that well, but I can tell you don’t deserve to be in this kind of agony. Trust me, I knew people back in the day who deserve to be in agony. You’re definitely not one of them.”

Andy frowned at what Pete said and couldn’t help playing over the words. “What bad elements?” he couldn’t resist asking.

Pete averted his eyes. “That’s a story for another day,” he said quietly. He met Andy’s eyes. “Today is about you. Let’s go out, ok? Some fresh air and sunshine will do you good,” he said confidently.

Andy looked out the window. The sun was shining brightly. There wasn’t even a trace of a dark cloud. He heard children playing. He knew he couldn’t stay inside and wallow forever.

“Where would we go?” Andy asked.

“Out.”

“Out where?”

“Food. Walk around,” Pete said. “You’re ugly when you’re moping and all sad looking. Like a puppy that got kicked or some shit.”

“Thanks a lot,” Andy rolled his eyes. He stood up. “Should I shower?”

“Yes,” Pete said automatically. “For the love of God, yes!” He held his nose. “A plant in my room is suffering a slow death because of your stank ass.”

Andy flipped him off, feeling his first spark of energy since his conversation with his wife. Then he paused before he was fully out of view.

“You don’t have any plants.”

Pete whistled and looked around, the picture of innocence.

******

“I go to Columbia.”

Andy was startled and couldn’t do anything but look at Pete curiously since his mouth was full of his hot dog.

“You asked me where I went to college and I never gave you a direct answer, did I?”

Andy swallowed and shook his head. “Nope. How come?”

Pete shrugged. “You were some stranger asking me all these questions. I don’t like being bombarded with questions from people I don’t know.”

“How else can you get to know someone?”

“I don’t know,” Pete said. “Like you hang out and feel comfortable with one another and then you just find out stuff. But all those questions, it felt like you were trying to find out my personal business and for what? Sorry, I just get all weird like that sometimes.”

“What’s changed now?” Andy wondered.

Pete looked at him with a sparkle in his eyes. “That day you told me about your son. And the day you called your wife. I just knew you were someone I could trust. I can’t even explain it,” his brow furrowed. “But you just know these things. You feel it in your gut. I always trust my gut.” He grinned and patted his stomach. “At least these days.”

“I’m honored,” Andy smiled. “So while you’re willing to spill your beans, what’s your major?”

“Haven’t figured that out just yet. Remember when I said I bounced around CUNY schools?” he asked. Andy nodded. “That was all true. I had some issues with college and couldn’t seem to get my head on straight. I’m better these days and now I’m enrolled at Columbia. Expensive ass school though, and it’s going to be a bitch paying that off.”

Pete turned serious. “But it’s a good school and I can schmooze with the intellectuals. Maybe something good will rub off on me,” he murmured with that faraway look in his eyes.

Andy watched as Pete shook his head, trying to leave the thoughts behind. “Anyway, that’s why Michelle asked Mark if I could live with you. She always comes to the Starbucks where I work. We started talking. She’s really sweet. She found out I worked two jobs while going to school full time, because I was trying to make rent. So she tried to help.”

“You still work two jobs?” Andy asked remembering the incident when he had spied Pete giving a blow job for money. That was always on his mind, both out of curiosity and erotic purposes.

“The thing about being a waiter is that the best money is made on weekends and nights. Every server wants those shifts. If you don’t get those, you just make average money. And coffee shops never pay that well, but there are perks like free drinks and such. I do love coffee and even stale pastries at the end of the night. But working those two jobs still isn’t enough.” Pete picked at his nails.

“Mark’s nice enough not to charge rent, but books, traveling around the city, food, and saving to pay off the loan, it does get a bit tight. Miraculously, I had this weekend off, from both jobs. Either way, I think I’m going to quit one of them and just try other ways to get money…”

Andy hesitated and shuffled his feet. “Do you ever…” he took a deep breath and happened to look at Pete.

Pete was waiting expectantly and curiously. Just then, with his shoulders hunched and his eyes trained on him, he reminded Andy of an innocent kid. Although, it was becoming painfully obvious that Pete was not a kid and indeed had a dark past. He didn’t have the heart to ask Pete about the blow job incident, nor did he want to risk their future as roommates.

He didn’t even think badly of Pete because he knew in his gut that Pete did whatever he did out of necessity. For someone so young, he was ridiculously independent and taking on a lot of financial responsibility. Andy couldn’t help wondering about Pete’s parents. When Andy was Pete’s age, he had his mom and dad paying for most things. He didn’t know anything about Pete except that he was on his own and very suspicious. Who was Andy to give advice or judge?

“Do I ever what?” Pete asked kicking Andy’s foot when Andy had taken too long to respond.

“Nothing,” Andy said distractedly staring into Pete’s eyes. They were so dark and Pete’s skin was so smooth. “I was just thinking that you have a lot to manage. I admire you; I wasn’t like that at your age. Not at all.”

Pete smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Consider yourself lucky then,” he practically whispered.

Their eyes met and even though Pete didn’t elaborate, Andy knew that Pete was implying something more, something deeper.

Andy wondered if he would ever get past the protective layers Pete had wrapped around himself and find the real person. The thing was, he really wanted to know the real Pete.

Andy smiled. “Want another hot dog? My treat?”

Pete grinned and he looked even younger since the smile was genuine. “Ok, cool!”

As they each took a large bite, Andy nudged Pete. “I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.”

“Me neither,” Pete agreed. “It sucks.”

“Which job you working?”

“Starbucks. The morning shift and then two classes. Full day ahead of me,” he said ruefully. “But while working I’ll make sure to drink a ton of coffee so I’m wide awake during lecture.”

“Rough deal.”

Pete shrugged. “That’s life. You know?”

“Life sucks. That I know,” Andy agreed.

******

“Thank you,” Andy said trying to keep his emotions in check. No need to start bawling in front of his wife. It wasn’t easy controlling his tear ducts these days. He was an emotional head case.

Jordan’s little blond head swept back and forth between his mother and father as if he didn’t know what to do.

“Honey, why don’t you go inside and put your stuff away in my room?” Andy said as he crouched in front of his son.

Jordan smiled and ran past Andy, his overnight bag dragging beside him.

Andy met Susan’s eyes. They engaged in a brief staring contest before Susan cleared her throat. “You were right--the other day on the phone,” she said, as if she had been rehearsing this speech. She squared her shoulders and took a breath. “Jordan is your son too. You are a good father. And I do want what’s best for him,” she said her gaze softening.

She paused. “This is just hard for me,” she whispered. Her eyes started looking glassy.

“I do understand. I don’t expect you to be happy with me or the situation, ever, but I want us to be able to talk and discuss things. We do have a history and it wasn’t all bad, right?”

“No, not at all,” Susan agreed with a hint of a smile in her eyes. Then she looked away. “But let’s not do this. Let’s not go down memory lane, because if we do, I’ll think of the future I lost and I can’t handle that…” Her voice sounded scratchy.

Andy looked down and stuffed his hands in his pocket. “How can I make up for it?” he pleaded.

She shook her head sadly. “I don’t know if you can, Andy. You can’t fix this. All we can do is hopefully move on. I need to forgive and I don’t know how long that will take.”

Andy nodded feeling the familiar burning sensation behind his eyes. “It breaks my heart to hear you say that, but it’s something I will have to accept.”

She nodded and turned to leave. He quickly grabbed her sleeve. “Please, Susan. Can we talk? I’m not asking for forgiveness or anything; but please, just talk to me. I know I hurt you, but God, I can barely deal with this myself. Please don’t shut me out. Please just talk to me on the phone sometimes. Please?” he begged in a rush.

Staring at him and studying his face, she slowly nodded. “I’ll try. I promise to try.”

Andy knew that was all he could expect from her and he nodded. Shutting the door, he leaned on it, taking a deep breath, rubbing his face.

“Daddy?” came a sweet voice.

Smiling, Andy scooped Jordan into his arms. “Hey baby. I missed you last weekend. I missed you everyday I couldn’t see you.”

Jordan giggled and ran his tiny hand down Andy’s face. “Me too.”

“You missed yourself?” Andy laughed nuzzling Jordan’s face with kisses.

Jordan squirmed and shrieked with laughter. “Yes!”

“Come on, let’s give you a bath, stinky,” Andy said bouncing Jordan on the way to the bathroom.

“Stinky, stinky, stink!” Jordan chanted.

Andy was busy splashing water around as he tried to make the inflatable ducks bounce in the tub and he didn’t hear Pete come in. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, Andy let out a surprised cry and slipped forward into the tub, briefly dunking his head, unable to catch himself in time.

Jordan squealed in amusement and by the time Andy wiped his face with a towel, he saw Pete standing over him with a disbelieving smile.

“Sorry man. I didn’t mean to creep up on you.”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Andy smiled.

“Hi Jordan,” Pete said waving.

“Hi!” Jordan said brightly splashing his hands wildly.

“Glad to have you here for the weekend,” Pete went on. He glanced at Andy and they shared a smile.

“How was school? And work?”

Pete groaned. “Exhausting. I stink of sweat and coffee. I want a bath, too. Jordan, you tub hog. Get out!”

His bright blue eyes sparkling, Jordan giggled and peered up at Pete. Andy rubbed his son’s wet hair affectionately. “We’ll be done soon,” Andy said.

“I was kidding. No rush.” Pete started leaving.

“Hey, want to help us make dinner tonight?” Andy asked, not knowing why he threw that out there.

“That depends…” Pete said slowly turning around.

“On what we’re making?” Andy finished with a smile.

Pete pointed at him, amusement in his eyes even though he wasn’t smiling. “Mind reader.”

Andy shrugged. “Slowly getting to know your ways. As mysterious as they may be.”

Pete studied him. “Yeah,” he said thoughtfully, narrowing his eyes. “I guess you are.”

Thanks Frances for editing! And a special thanks to my beta-readers.