WL's Mainstream Gay Book Reviews - 20. Reading the Signs by Keira Andrews

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52268562-reading-the-signs

I think most folks will probably have noticed the theme for this week seems to be Sports related gay romance fiction, since I have covered books on American Football and Hockey. With this book, Keira Andrews weaves a tale of love between professional baseball players, ironically between a catcher and starting pitcher. The old Catcher-Pitcher analogy has long been synonymous with Top-Bottom positions in the gay community, so there’s a slight tongue-in-cheek joke there. It has some light-Dominant/submissive roleplaying between the couple (no leather, whips, or BDSM gear), so if you are offended by a little kink or spanking, be aware. On the technical side, the talk of Earned Run Averages (ERA), no-hitters, and baseball injury details were very well-researched by Keira, so gay baseball fans would miss out if they don’t explore this book.

At 293 pages or on audible 8 hours and 29 minutes long, it’s a decently long romance novel for a dreamy and steamy summer day.

Jake Fitzgerald is a closeted gay 34-year-old catcher in American Professional Baseball league, who has lost his passion for the game that he once loved. He lost his passion after causing a rift with his best childhood friend, Brandon, who he had an unrequited love for, but he could never admit to. When Brandon announced his plans to marry a woman, Jake acted out and insulted Brandon’s future wife out of jealousy, which Brandon never understood the reason for, causing a rift to form and eventually Brandon leaving San Francisco baseball team they belonged to. At the start of the novel, Jake is unexpectedly traded by the management of San Francisco to the new Ottawa professional baseball team, where he is reunited with Nico Agresta, the 22-year-old younger brother of one of Jake’s old friends in high school and fellow Professional Baseball player. Nico has spent most of his life hiding his sexuality, having sex with random women to prove his masculinity despite deep desire to be made love to by a man in the reverse roles. Nico has had a crush on Jake ever since he was a young teenage boy watching him and his brother play baseball. Beyond just his repressed sexuality, Nico also had deep self-hate, because he blames his birth for causing his mother’s death. His family never speaks of her and he blames himself for that. He sees himself as a freak of nature for being secretly gay, submissive, and the root cause of his own mother’s death. His repressed sexual frustration causes Nico to have issues during games with pitching confidence and overcompensate by acting aggressively, causing others to view him with a general air of cockiness and arrogance. As the new veteran Catcher of the Ottawa’s young baseball team, Jake’s job was to train with pitchers like Nico to improve their game and coordinate with various baseball hand signals for different pitches. Jake grows to care about Nico over time and learns one of Nico’s more obvious secrets, he intentionally throws up before baseball games in order to avoid the fear of being laughed at for throwing up due to his nerves, stemming from an incident in his youth, when his father berated him for embarrassing him. Sexual tensions simmer between Jake and Nico, until Nico explodes after a loss, when the pitching coach wouldn’t let him complete a full game. Out of an aggressive impulse, Jake grabs Nico and spanks him, resulting in a very hot sexual encounter allowing Nico to admit to Jake his sexuality. Jake and Nico begin a sexual relationship soon after that and Jake learns more about why Nico was so nervous. Nico’s father held very staunch homophobic views as an Italian American and veteran professional baseball player, causing Nico to fear rejection throughout his life of never living up to his family expectations or “being a Man”. Through the strength of their relationship, Nico comes out to his family eventually and Jake during a coincidental meeting with Brandon at a charity event also confronts his former friend with the reason why he acted out. Thing come to ahead as Ottawa team is nearing the end of the season, a playoff run appears to be within their grasp, but Jake is seriously injured during one of their final games. Nico without hesitation jumps to side of his lover and publicly outs both of them with a tender moment. The story ends with Nico reconciling with his family, his father attempts to be far more understanding of his sexuality and relieving Nico of his self-loathing over his mother’s death, and Jake is going through physical therapy, but he is unlikely to play baseball again. There’s a happy ending of Nico winning the Rookie of the Year award, demonstrating he was always just as good as anyone else, no matter who he wants to love.

Despite what the tag-line might make you think, there was relatively less gay sex than I thought there would be with the subject matter and relationship. Jake was a very believable and mature gay adult, who happens to enjoy being a Dominant gay male during sex. Jake was very relatable to any other gay male, his background and his tragic insecure past made him an engaging character that readers can root for. He started out his career in professional baseball being afraid of being out as gay due to not wanting the distraction in the team or being “poster boy” for gay athletes. However, over the years, even as society has accepted gay athletes in professional sports, he just never could come out, because he had lost passion with both his profession and he had no real long-term lover. His lack of passion and love were borne from his unrequited love for his childhood best friend Brandon, a fellow professional baseball player. A lot of gay men have had one guy that you never got the courage to tell him, you loved him from their youth, especially if the friend in question is straight, more often than not. His issues with his old friend Brandon may not be necessary for the overall romance of him and Nico, but I think it added a significant consequence and resolution to their relationship. While Jake never grew the same kind of courage as Nico did to come out to the world, Nico gave him the courage to come out to the person he needed to the most, his first love and oldest friend. I am not a psychologist, but I think Jake needed a cathartic release for him to settle down with Nico later on.

Nico to me was the star of the book, Jake was the narrator and dominant character in the book, but I think just like their relationship, it’s the submissive partner who ended up driving the plot. Nico is inherently insecure and overcompensate for the fact that he’s gay, including having sex with women every chance he could despite receiving very little pleasure from it, except the fleeting release of orgasm. He is an example of a guy known to be a womanizer to the outside world, but still is deeply gay inside. Beyond just his sexuality, Nico had a deep-seeded self-loathing for himself, because he thought he was the cause of his mother’s death. His birth had led to complications that ultimately caused cancerous cells to forms that killed her. His guilt over his mother’s death made him a character you just want to comfort, explaining a bit of his need for love and approval represented in his hidden gay submissive persona. His internalize anguish at wanting to exhibit his tendencies, including his innate submissive tendencies, was fascinating to read. He acted aggressive, tried to portray himself as the Macho-baseball player to please his father’s homophobic ideals, and sadly couldn’t really allow anyone get close to know the real him out of fear. We saw glimpses of his fears with his father’s homophobic comments. It took Jake’s love and friendship, along with his need to be there supporting Jake in his time of need that ultimately gave Nico the strength to be himself, while accepting comfort and submission to Jake. His journey from guilt and self-loathing to a public gay sports icon was subtle, but it is worth the opening to Jake in the end.

Little details about baseball statistics, types of pitches, and the variety of hand signals used to demonstrate what catchers needed to do in order to manage the mound were great. It shows a genuine interest from the author, which I believe Keira Andrews noted was among the reasons she wrote this book. When writers are passionate about something, it shows in the final product. Personally, being in the heart of Red Sox nation, I am somewhat knowledgeable about baseball, but it is by no means my favorite sport, which is a close tie between Hockey and Football. I do enjoy it, but it is not my passion sport.

As for the sex and relationship, I will freely admit, their first encounter in chapter 7 was unexpectedly rough and fast, but I was grateful that the sexual tension was released. Nico is by most definitions an absolute bottom, despite how he tries to hide himself. Reading him finally getting to release his sexual desires was satisfying. However, the sex just opened the door for the two to develop a relationship, Jake and Nico shared other interests beyond rough gay sex and baseball. For one thing, it was cute they both into rich modern board games, like Pandemic, a cooperative board game that has gained infamy in the recent year, partially due to COVID. Cute little moment, like them playing a game of tag and roughhousing with each other in the tunnels, felt just as intimate as the rough sex. I loved the tender moments between the two guys outside the sex, just as much as seeing Nico giving himself heart and soul to Jake.

My Rating: 4.5 out 5, I just loved Jake and Nico’s backstories and their progression as characters. There’s a lot of details and actual baseball gameplay that made this book fun to read. The rough sex might be a good selling point, but the plot is what kept me coming back and made the characters believable.