WL's Mainstream Gay Book Reviews - 11. Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman

I will slow down my reviews to 1 per week on Monday going forward:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36336078-call-me-by-your-name

It’s a eulogy chronicling the relationship of Elio, a 17-year-old boy with homosexual urges, and Oliver, a 24-year-old scholar and university professor. Let me start off making a disclaimer, I know the story would not be acceptable on this site and many other websites, because the two males in question are not of the same age group and technically depending on jurisdiction, Elio is underage for sexual consent. I am not the author of the story, nor am I promoting such relationships, I am merely reviewing a book that has become a major mainstream award-winning novel, which has also become a feature length film. With that disclaimer out of the way, I will begin my review.

This book is considered one of the best representations of gay fiction in the last decade. As a reader, I can understand why it would be considered in glowing terms like “Poetic”, “Dreamy”, and “Beautiful”, given to it by critics and mainstream reviewers. Yet, I call this story a eulogy, because as a reader, the story interpretation I get from it is that it marks the death of a gay relationship. There were a lot of little details I admired, I love nicknames for characters like "Il Cowboy" being the name Elio's mother gave for Oliver, or Oliver's tick of saying "Later".

Elio Perlman is the son of a Jewish American ex-patriot academic, who lives in a small Italian town. His parent would take in post-doctoral students and young academics every summer. These guests would assist Elio’s father with paperwork and academic studies. These guests stayed in Elio’s bedroom, which had an in-suite bathroom for ease of access. In the summer of 1986, when Elio was 17 years old, a young American man named Oliver came to be their guests. Elio could not resist his attraction to the man, engaging him in verbal jousts about a wide field of artistic and philosophical subjects. Elio has hidden his sexual interest in men for years and even has a steady girlfriend, Marzia, but the urges were hard to resist, since both shared many pursuits and Elio found their shared Jewish background exciting in an area with very few Jews. Elio confesses his feelings to Oliver and they kiss, but when Elio attempts to touch Oliver’s penis, Oliver recoils from Elio. In fear of what he supposed was rejection, Elio attempted to satiate his sexual needs by having sex with Marzia, but he also through a series events were able to start a sexual relationship with Oliver. While Oliver, enjoyed sex with Marzia, he felt a stronger attraction to Oliver and pursued him. They spend the of the summer in loving and sexual relationship, until Oliver returns for the United States. Elio was distraught with the separation and Elio’s father reveals that he knew and supported Elio and Oliver’s relationship to help soothe his son’s sadness. Later on, Oliver returns to Italy to announce his plans to marry a woman. Elio and Oliver fall out of contact for years, until Elio visits Oliver in the United States. At the end of the novel, Oliver visits Elio’s family home again in Italy, but much has changed in the intervening years and Elio knows the love they shared was no longer there.

My favorite of Elio's quotes is the one he made considering his love for Oliver based on Emily Bronte, "He's more myself than I am", I think that line alone speaks volumes and can explain why "Call me by your name" is so important to him. For people interested in literary references like me, the full quote is:

"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

There are happy points to the story and highly erotic descriptions of gay sex; though, technically Elio is bisexual and so is Oliver as the novel noted that they have both had mutually satisfying sex with girls. Elio’s sexual awkwardness and desires are very reminiscent of many young gay, bi, and queer men. Erotic scenes like Elio wearing Oliver’s bathing suit, the dreams that Elio have initially of Oliver coming into his room late at night, and Elio’s first sexual encounter with Oliver. The last event was very provocative as well, since Elio felt like he had done something wrong having allowed another man to penetrate him. However, moments before, he was lusting after Oliver wanting to be taken by him, like a lot of other bottoms in gay romance novels. It’s quite realistic in my view; there’s a moment after the first time you have anal when you are bottom that is very tender. Elio would later on actually top Oliver, so there's a sense of exploration as well, he’s a boy who is coming to terms with his enjoyment of gay sex.

In the middle of Part 3 in the novel, titled “The San Clemente Syndrome”, we get a lot of fun little stories. My favorite one was when Elio recounts the first time, he acknowledged his attraction to other males. I thought the story of the grocer’s boy and Elio shyness at being with another teenage boy was very revealing. While Elio may be repressing himself, he isn’t an idiot, nor is he unable to love another male; he is just not interested in a hookup when it came to men, he wanted so much more in men than he could have with women. I know it’s a small paragraph in the middle of Elio’s final days with Oliver in Rome, but there was something very telling. For most readers, I know that the indirect story by the Poet in the restaurant about Thai Lady-boy would possibly be far more interesting from the level of sexuality and gender-based attraction, it was a fun story about a guy denying the advances of a boy/girl in Thailand, who he knows he can’t be with, but at the same time, cannot deny his attraction towards.

The story’s atmosphere was very unique, Italian language and culture was rich throughout the novel. There’s a charm to the Italian landscape, especially if you know a little Roman history. At times, it will feel to reader as if you are being spoken down to by the characters, who have extensive literary and academic background. I’m no slouch either, but my classical education, large collection of books, and even Masters’ degree just barely gives me a glimpse at the subtlety of what they are speaking about. Unless you are like me, a reader who enjoys learning what the subtle references within stories mean or the references, I don’t advise digging deeply into the words. From African-American poet Robert Hayden’s work to Italian Dante Alighieri famous Divine Comedy’s Inferno to Classical Roman Ovid, Andre Aciman is playing coy with his literary references.

Despite the glowing details I laid out above, the first time I read the book, I hated it. It affirmed something in my mind that I did not want to accept, a fear that I think a lot of gay men share but don’t want to admit, Bi-phobia towards potential partners who don't need exclusively gay ones. It’s a stupid fear to worry that if you date a bisexual man, he will eventually choose a woman or another man, because you as a purely gay man cannot hope to hold his interests forever. Oliver bugged me as a character, because he did exactly that to Elio, vowed love and passion, but chose an easier life as a "faux" heterosexual married man with kids (it's hinted he has had sex with other men, since Elio during their encounter 15 years later in New England). He’s an intellectual and knows what Elio and him had was an unique type of love, but he chose to live a life of conformity. I know the book is set in the 1980’s and gay rights was at its lowest point, not to mention the rise of HIV (A sore spot for Aciman not to mention at all in his novel), but Oliver’s acceptance of a heterosexual life with a wife and kids felt like a slap in the face. Yet, I’ve re-read this book again and again, realizing that I was sympathesizing with Elio, who was also bi as well though he was far more toward my side of the spectrum, who would probably be the antithesis to this fear, if Elio only found love with a man, who loved him and wanted “more” like him. For that, I can forgive the novel and Aciman, because I think I sympathesized with Elio's plight far too much without rationally considering individual truths to each person.

The biggest criticism beyond my own feelings is that Aciman wrote a novel that completely obscured the homophobia and HIIV/AIDS scare of the 1980’s, especially considering Oliver is an American. I can forgive Oliver’s social conformity and abandonment of Elio as something tragic, but realistic in our world. However, I cannot forgive the lack of an important historical element in society to create a story. Yes, the story held youthful innocence and free sexuality, without condoms, but seriously, if your intent is to set this story in 1986, you can’t avoid the subject and in fact with the amount of unprotected sex in the novel, spit in its face. I appreciate the literary references, the realistic portrayal of a young man coming to terms with his sexuality, and the melancholic tragedy that is delivered in the inevitable heartbreak, but I cannot hold all those points in opposition to a glaring fact. Aciman should have set this story in 1976 or 1966 to his own youth that this story was meant to be based off. The pre-condom era, before the advent of HIV for LGBT people, would have made this the right era to center an Italian story of homosexual love and loss. A carefree promiscuous young American male, who had sex with both men/boys and women/girls, leaves a bad taste especially during a time when such behavior created a deadly worldwide pandemic.

My Rating: 4 out 5, it’s a wonderful story and worth your time reading it. I can recommend the book for lovers of literature and atmosphere. However, I can’t bring myself to give a great rating as other mainstream reviewers have done or award committees have given. I can enjoy tragedies and lost loves, but taking that tragedy and avoiding an ugly truth about LGBT people for a story written for the wrong time period, I lost enjoyment for what I know of the period.