WL's Mainstream Gay Book Reviews - 42. Halloween Month Special Review: They Both Die At The End by Adam Silvera

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33385229-they-both-die-at-the-end

My last Halloween book review is a celebration of death and life. I have never read a gay fiction story like this before across all the various mediums. Adam Silvera told you point blank this would be a tragedy, but it is also far more than that. He explored the fragility of life and the potential of death with absolute certainty. He also demonstrates through the actions of his main characters that life is worth living even for the few moments of peace with the absolute certainty of death, Adam Silvera didn’t celebrate life with Carpe Diem, but he explores a realistic truth that happiness should be the goal of our living moments. I’ve read his other gay romance book, Maybe It’s Us, but I was not ready for the emotional rollercoaster. I chose this book to review for Halloween day, because I think it is to me the best book, I’ve read so far that symbolizes the Holiday, it’s a celebration of death and living short lives in happiness.

Length-wise, it is 389 pages long and 8 hours 30 minutes on Audible. I recommend people to read this book if they want to confront existential issues and are patient. There is absolutely no sexual content in this book, despite being a gay romance. It’s a pure story filled with some very deep truths.

Plot: Mateo Torres, an 18-year-old boy, wakes up around midnight to a Death Cast notification. Death cast is a near-future organization that has developed the technology to identify, when a person will die down to the date of their death. Mateo is shocked to discover he is going to die in the next 24 hours. Across town, Rufus Emeterio, a 17-year-old boy, is beating up his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend, nicknamed Peck. He also receives a Death Cast notification informing him he will die within the next 24 hours. Rufus has been feeling aimless and depressed, due to the lost of his entire family from an automobile accident, his relocation into a foster home, and his girlfriend leaving him, so in a fit of rage, he acted outside of his character, when Peck had badmouthed him. Mateo is isolated with his mother dead, his father in a coma, and has only one close friend named Lidia, whose own boyfriend had died and left her with a child, Mateo is supposed to be godfather. Mateo chose to use an App on his smartphone called Last Friend for people like him, Deckers. Rufus, who fled the police at his own pre-death funeral due to Peck, is also alone on his last day alive. Through a series of events, both boys befriend each other on the Last Friend App, Mateo learns to live his life, Rufus finds closure with his past, and they fall in love. Their fate is set for death, but it’s not the end that matters most in this story, rather it’s the journey they take together to live an entire lifetime in one day.

Review: This is perhaps the darkest and most emotional love story I have encountered in mainstream gay fiction. It’s a story I think all of us needs to read in the age of COVID-19, we don’t know if we can get infected and if we can survive the next strain, but we should be realistic about what we can do for ourselves and each other. I love Adam Silvera’s approach to this concept of the last day alive concept, Mateo and Rufus aren’t doing crazy things just because they will die and have to Carpe Diem, Seize the Day, as some other authors in mainstream fiction have argued for terminally ill. No, these boys in this setting are actually trying to live their lives and make realistic and honest decision based on their limited means. Death isn’t a light subject, but the way it is handled here is very loving and nurturing.

I love Mateo’s character, he’s a kind-hearted closeted gay introvert, who is too afraid to be himself due to rejection. His backstory is tragic with his mother dead and his father in a fate worst than death, since Death Cast had not notified him, he’s in a perpetual coma. With so much lost in his life caused by random events, Mateo is isolated and attends classes online. Mateo wants to live fully and be the best person he can be on his last day alive. He’s one of those people, who literally gave every dollar in his pocket to a homeless person and in the past before he knew he’d die, he gave his own shoes to a little kid, who got bullied and had his shoes stolen. Mateo empathy extends to other Deckers, even before he got his notification, learning about things such as Countdown and final messaging applications. His love for humanity, nature, and everything made him someone you can’t help, but root for to survive until the end. Mateo does not deserve to die, he’s one of those people that I wish could have their happiness. In any other gay fiction story, after Mateo day of self-discovery, journey, and courage in the face of death itself, he deserves a happy ending. However, he dies tragically and in character to who he is. I honestly hated the way he had died, but there was foreshadowing at the start of the novel and it almost feels like Adam Silvera was channeling Death from Final Destination movie series. At least, Mateo achieved what he sought: he found his voice to be himself in public, he found courage in the face of death, and he found the love of his life in a single day. He did more in 1 day than many of us, myself included, have achieved in the thousands of days we’ve been alive.

I also love Rufus’ character as well. He’s a bisexual boy, who had a lot of bad luck thrown in his direction too, but it’s even more visceral. His entire family, except for him, received their Death Cast notification. His father, mother, and older sister died, while he was pushed out of the car by them to safety. The trauma of their deaths haunts him. His girlfriend leaves him for a violent boy, who plays a menacing role throughout the novel towards him and Mateo. Despite how much of a thug Rufus seems at the start of the novel, he’s a good person beneath his hurt emotional surface. Mateo is able to impart on him the necessary tenderness he has been seeking from others, but has failed to find. His death is slow and probably the most intricate of the entire novel, you won’t see it coming until the very end. Still, I love how he recognizes that Mateo loved him and he loved Mateo even before they verbally spoke those words. I am grateful that they had a tender last moment on earth that can be seen in video and photos.

The supporting characters from the villainous Peck to the apathetic Death Cast employees, who tell people they will die, to the suicidal merchants selling “fake final moments” for a quick buck to all the other one-time cameos with commentaries about life and death, all of them were great. There’s no shortage of inspiring ideas and characters highlighting life lessons that Mateo and Rufus are learning in their last day on earth. Even heinous people, like the suicide bomber, are explored in a Death Cast based world, where his last act of violence kills so many other Deckers and permanently injures others.

My favorite concept by far and the reason why I am reviewing this for Halloween is Death Cast itself. The concept of knowing the day you will die, but not the circumstance or time would be terrifying. Death is the heart of the horror genre. The society in this novel has lived with Death Cast for a decade, they say their pleasant words to one another about people dying, but it’s such an abstract concept. There’s also no fairness in Death Casts, like Mateo and Rufus deserved to live a long happy life together as lovers and partners, but they were denied that with horrific deaths. While people like Patrick “Peck” Gavin, who are violent monsters, are allowed to live out their miserable lives. It’s a realistic concept, I can imagine a technology that may one day do this and I fear for it.

No negatives for me, except that I wanted Mateo and Rufus to find each other in the afterlife with an epilogue of some kind. However, the ending and the horrific deaths just makes me feel empty. I love realism as a way of writing, but in such a dark story, I wish Adam Silvera offered his readers a ray of light.

My Review: 4.75 out of 5, it’s nearly perfect to me, except for what I feel as a lack of hope between Mateo and Rufus. A great exploration of existential love, but I need a little hope after how Mateo died