WL's Mainstream Gay Book Reviews - 49. Touch the Sky (Book 1 of Free Fall Series) by Christina Lee and Nyrae Dawn

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29543426-touch-the-sky

I have very eccentric reading list, but at the heart of it, I think my preference for reading material is primarily character driven narratives. While I do like fantasy and science fiction concepts, a vast majority of these novels I am reviewing are character-driven by their circumstances and experiences. Due to that, I think Nyrae Dawn and Christina Lee’s Touch the Sky captured my attention with its simple concept of a 2^nd chance romance between 2 very damaged young men. It also taught me a few good lessons about life, mental illness, depression, and hope, which I think is the basis of this week’s theme in books.

Length-wise, it is 326 pages long and 7 hours 16 minutes long. It is a good bit of reading for people looking to find a book with life affirming themes and concepts. One of the main characters is bipolar and we actually get narrative from his vantage point, which is quite provocative.

Plot: Lucas Burnett and Gabriel Stewart met in an online forum as teenagers, they exchanged emails and became friends online, being the lifeline to each other. Both boys were closeted gay youths with horrific backgrounds as we slowly learn from revelations in the book. Lucas grew up in an impoverished environment without a father and an alcoholic mother, who had a stint of bad lovers and binges. Lucas had to supplement his life through theft and narcotics in order to survive, while taking care of his mother. Gabriel grew up in a wealthy environment with a psychologically depressed mother and a physically abusive father, who tried to beat Gabriel’s mental illness out of him, seeing it as a personal affront that his son could be afflicted with bipolar disorder. Both boys had planned to come out and meet up together in the seemingly fantastical gay mecca West Hollywood, but instead of coming out together, both suffered personal issues that left their lives in limbo. Lucas was arrested and sent to Juvenile Hall for attempting to steal a vehicle. Gabriel, who had his 1^st major bipolar episode was sent to a mental health care for treatment after he climbed on top of a bridge attempting “to fly”. Now 5 years later, both boys have become men and are living parallel lives in Los Angeles, near their fabled dream of West Hollywood. Lucas after leaving Juvenile Hall has pledged to keep his act clean, he became a bartender. Gabriel, having been disowned by his father for his impossible dream of being a pilot rather than going to college for a traditional career path, is working as a laborer in construction crew. A chance encounter at the bar that Lucas works at bring the two old friends and internet lovers together. Gabriel and Lucas still have intense feelings for each other, but they both have to deal with their past before they can create a future. Lucas fears he cannot be a good partner for anyone, he blames himself for not being there for his mother as the reason for her death. Gabriel having been off health insurance for a year without his father’s support is having dangerous bipolar episodes and he’s developed severe depression symptoms, including fascinations for high places and jumping off rooftops with fantasies of his death. Both men have issues and they are not completely resolved at the end of the story, but they are at least addressing them realistically together. It’s a realistic Happy Ending for 2 very tragic characters.

Review: This is what I would call a realistic romantic novel. If you like reading stories that grounded in reality with people, who love each other, but are imperfect human beings dealing with their own issues, then I think Christina Lee and Nyrae Dawn have crafted the perfect story. I enjoyed reading imperfections in these characters and their slowly growing relationship from the past and present. I also find the entire dueling concept of parallel psychological issues being a great concept for lovers in a modern gay romance story.

Key to the story is Gabriel’s love of flying and his bipolar condition. The entire story hinges on his narrative development and the believability that he’s both a functional human being and a loose cannon, who can be self-destructive. I’ve had personal interactions with a person diagnosed with bipolar disorder, so I find the story of Gabriel not realizing he’s doing something wrong to be quite believable. Sadly, like Lou, Ezra, and others around Gabriel, I know it’s hard to tell when a person with bipolar condition is acting up or being suicidal. It is scary to face someone with this condition, who can be upbeat and excited one day, then never want to leave their bed or room for weeks at a time with threats of wanting death. I’ve dealt with that personally and I can’t help feeling sympathy for Gabriel’s struggle. I also find his dream of wanting to fly a plane to be wondrous and inspiring with his mental health issues. The reason why he wants to fly is only revealed towards the end of the novel, but it is well-developed. I know it’s likely impossible someone with his condition could ever fly a plane, but I do hope he achieves his dream one day.

Lucas in parallel has a deep sense of guilt that keeps him grounded and unable to move on with his life. He accepts working at a bar, not only because it’s a basic job that he can do, but it’s a personal sort of punishment. Lucas’ mother was an alcoholic and she died from the substance that he is now serving to other people. It’s quite a fascinating psychological guilt trap that he’s built for himself. His dream was to be an architect and build skyscrapers to touch the sky, but he does not feel like he deserves it. He also keeps other people far away from even if they seek to befriend him, because he’s afraid of letting them down like he did with his mother. His love for Gabriel brings him out of his guilt trip and Gabriel push for self-improvement helps him gain the courage to make positive changes in his life.

There are several good side characters, Conner is Lucas’ friend, who is a fellow bartender and likely bisexual. His involvement is limited in this book, but he shows himself to kind and understanding, including the assistance of finding a new job for Lucas. His character is developed in Book 2. The other character, Ezra, is Gabriel’s roommate and best friend, who is a demisexual artist. We actually see bit more of Ezra’s character here, he helps Gabriel out and has a free-spirited mindset with copious amounts of marijuana use. He gets further development in book 3 of the series.

The big negatives in this novel are there’s a need for a suspension of disbelief in order for the romance to flourish. The conflicts are a little too melodramatic at times, while Gabriel’s suicidal tendencies are believable for someone like me, who have met bipolar people with similar outlooks, I know there’s also a bigger support network out there for mental illness than what the book would have you believe, at least I hope Los Angeles is on par with Boston. At the very least, Gabriel should not have been off health insurance for a year without any support to get medication; one of the provisions of Affordable Care Act was to provide for those kinds of protections to the poor and needy, a disowned LGBT youth would count. Knowing how to access health resources is a hurdle, which should have been noted, but its absence leaves me with a bitter taste for how bad Gabriel eventually discovered he could get subsidize government medical assistance.

My review: 3.75 out of 5, I do recommend the book for people, who enjoy romances with imperfect characters looking for a 2^nd chance at love. I think the characters were well-developed, but the plot did feel a bit too melodramatic and contrived at times, especially Gabriel’s lack of health care support.