Trigger The Years Past - 10. Chapter 10: Karmic Scar

"I'm really glad to be home." Miracle walked down the hall and stopped at Cheston's bed room.

"I'm glad for you to be home." Cheston smiled and opened the door to his room, to reveal he had lit candles all around so there was a soft glow within, it was a little something, but not to much.

Miracle walked inside and looked around and smiled. "Okay, this is new." Miracle turned around as Cheston walked in and closed the door.

"I wanted it to be a little special." He smiled. "You're still up for this? I'll understand if..."

Miracle shook his head. "No, it's just that...I feel scared, incredibly scared."

"Why? I don't want you to be scared of me." Cheston whispered.

Miracle shook his head. "It's just been...so long. I'm just scared..."

"There's no reason to be, I love you." Cheston stepped closer. "If you're not ready..."

Miracle closed his eyes and shook his head. "It'll be the same no matter when, so..." He looked at Cheston and then turned around and walked over to the bed.

Cheston followed Miracle and sat down on the bed, taking his hands as he looked up at him. Miracle looked down at him and then crawled on top of him, straddling Cheston as he slowly laid back on the bed and their lips met, kissing heatedly. Cheston's fingers interlaced with Miracle's before Miracle's hands ran down his arms and then down his chest.

Cheston's hands ran up beneath Miracle's shirt and up his back as his hips grinded up against him, feeling Miracle's hands as they pulled his shirt up. Miracle broke the kiss and then grinned as he grabbed Cheston's arms and shoved them over his head and pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside while leaning down to kiss his neck and moving down to kiss his chest.

Cheston smiled and lightly laughed, and as Miracle started to move down, he grabbed the bottom of Miracle's shirt and went to pull it up his back only for Miracle to suddenly stop. "Don't!" Miracle said as he jerked up and looked down at Cheston.

"What?" Cheston looked up, confused.

Miracle's hands moved to his chest. "I'm not...beautiful anymore." He pulled away and headed into the private bathroom and flipped the light on, staring into the mirror.

Cheston followed Miracle and moved behind him, looking at Miracle through the mirror. "You mean the scar..."

"I'm marked.." Miracle frowned. "I'll never be beautiful again..."

"That is not true, you will always be beautiful to me." Cheston said.

Miracle turned around. "What? I'm being childish? I'm not being childish...one flaw, I'm flawed....for all my inner scars, I was perfect on the outside."

Cheston stared at Miracle and while it really didn't matter to him, while it was so insignificant to him, he started to offer up the idea of treatment to heal the scar, but then he remembered the things that Andy said, while he processed everything that Miracle was saying now. Maybe Miracle would find more self worth inside of him, if he stopped glorifying the outside as all he had?

"Miracle, have you even looked at it?" Cheston asked.

"No, I close my eyes...but I know it's hideous." Miracle looked down.

"Take your shirt off." Cheston said, speaking gently and quietly.

Miracle started to breath heavily. "It's ugly, I know it." Miracle looked down and closed his eyes as he slowly pulled his shirt up and then yanked it off his head and threw it to the side, refusing to open his eyes.

Cheston looked at the scar and reached up, his finger lightly trailing along it. "It's small." He turned Miracle towards the mirror. "Open your eyes."

Miracle opened his eyes and then gasped. "It's hideous." His eyes widened. "How can you stand to look at that? You deserved me at my best...and he ruined it..." Miracle started gasping as if he were going into a panic attack.

"Miracle, calm down." Cheston rubbed his shoulders. "It's okay, it's nothing."

"I'll never be able to look past it." Miracle shook his head.

Cheston leaned down and kissed Miracle's shoulder, not knowing how long he could really force Miracle to face it when something could actually be done about it.

"Things can be done to fix it. The celebrities have things done to make stuff disappear all the time. You can have something done." Miracle turned around and looked up at Cheston. "You can get me a treatment."

Cheston closed his eyes. "I could, but you'd be so much stronger if you accepted it...and just...accepted me for the fact that you're beautiful to me regardless."

Miracle shook his head. "That's not true. You talked to Andy, you're just doing that Andy thing, this is exactly what he would do."

Cheston opened his eyes. "Miracle, you can't tell people how they feel, you can't tell me that I don't find you beautiful right now, you can't tell me that. That's projecting your feelings of how you think other people feel or should feel, and it's untrue."

"Look, okay, I get it if you want to do the whole Andy thing, but this has to be an exception, this just can't happen." Miracle shook his head.

Cheston frowned and turned away from Miracle and walked over to the bathroom door and grabbed the door frame. "You know what turns me off, Miracle? Your need for outer perfection. It's petty, it's prideful, it shows how much worth you feel for yourself, you desperately need outer perfection because you feel so little for yourself, it's honestly...pathetic." His eyes slightly widened at how honest he just was, to the point that he probably sounded cruel.

Miracle stared at Cheston and tears ran down his face as he took several steps back. "How can you say that to me? First...your mother...and then you, and I thought she was horrible." He started crying. "She came to my hospital room and called me a porn star..and made me feel like a fool for believing what David taught me, and now you're calling me pathetic..."

Cheston closed his eyes and then walked out of the bathroom, Miracle followed after him and he flipped on the light and opened one of the dresser drawers and lifted a row of shirts and withdrew the folder and tossed it on the bed. "Guess what Jordan had."

Miracle looked confused as he looked at Cheston and then towards the folder.

"Before he became Jordan, back when he was Adam and dated the investigator that covered up your murder for you, Adam had those, he saw them after Adam left them to become Jordan, and he recognized you at the murder."

Miracle stared at Cheston and then grabbed the folder and opened it and pulled out the pictures, it was just a few printed out. He tossed the folder down and his eyes widened as he flipped through them and dropped each one to the bed until they were all scattered before them. His hands moved to his cheeks and then he looked up at Cheston.

"I'd never want you to see this. Why did you go there?" Miracle asked.

"He made the site that made my mom think you were a porn star, I went to find the answers, by the way, the site has been eliminated."

"What was on the site?" Miracle asked.

"The video of you and Daniel. It said Jordan got caught." Cheston stepped forward and gathered the pictures and shoved them in the folder. "I warred with myself as to whether or not to show them to you before I destroyed them." He laid the folder on the dresser. "Because I remembered how you wondered about other people, if any still existed today."

"So, what? You get angry because I'm being such a perfectionist because I'm scarred, you decide to throw some more reality in my face?"

"It's just a point." Cheston said. "Not all your scars are hidden inside, they are still out there, physically existing, as ugly as you might think that scar on your chest is."

"Oh, you're good. Andy would give you an academy award for this one..." Miracle shook his head.

"I've actually surprised myself, I didn't think I would ever be this harsh, never thought I could, never to you." Cheston said.

"Maybe it's because of the scar..." Miracle grinned. "Maybe if it were gone, you'd be like all the rest."

"Oh, sure I would." Cheston looked up. "That's because you wouldn't of freaked out, we would of made love to each other, and tonight would of been so special...but you had to be so vain."

"I don't have to listen to anymore of this." Miracle's voice hinted at breaking as he walked towards the bathroom and grabbed his shirt, throwing it on.

"Where are you going?" Cheston walked towards Miracle.

"I'm leaving." Miracle said.

"And where will you go? Andy's?" Cheston stepped closer. "Let me tell you a little secret about him, one, I overheard that conversation in the ICU, no guilt though, since he eaves dropped on ours, then we met outside."

Miracle stared at Cheston.

"Andy doesn't know what's stronger, his love for you or his lust for you, I kind of wonder if he just doesn't confuse the lust for love. He talked about how much the lust used to take over when you came home from...what? Your pole dancing? And those little costumes you would wear, how hard it was for him to hold back...how close he came." Cheston walked closer. "He didn't want to use you."

Miracle stepped back as Cheston walked closer. "And he didn't use me."

"Yeah." Cheston nodded. "And then he said he's managed to resist you pretty much, tells you that it might look easy on the outside. Did you ever think it looked easy on the outside because it actually was easy? Because you didn't come home drunk and high, wearing those little outfits anymore? And then all that crap about Lacey, whether he's sexually confused or not, totally sounds like rebound or back up to me."

Miracle slowly shook his head. "You don't know what you're saying. He's been with me for over four years."

"Yeah, with you stringing him along, and then finally you pulled him over the edge, giving his eyes just a little taste and then kicking him down!" Cheston shook his head. "But you like people to hang on, like Jaemin, the way he hung onto you, he even admitted he knew you liked it."

"Cheston, stop." Miracle fell back into the wall, tears running down his face. "Don't talk about him." He looked down. "Just stop!"

Cheston stared at Miracle, not understanding what had come over him, maybe he had a lust that was stronger than he was aware of, maybe being denied had angered him? He stared at Miracle, trying to find the answer behind his behavior, behind why he was tearing Miracle apart.

"I'm sorry." Cheston stepped back. "I...don't know...why I got...like that." He looked at Miracle, his eyes tear filled. "I just, I guess I wanted to love you so badly...and you let a scar take it away."

Miracle frowned and slid down onto the floor. "My body...is all I have to love about me." He said, his face covered in tears. "It's how I've gotten as far as I have, without it...I would be no where."

Cheston lowered to sit on the floor. "And that's a sad thing, that you've had to use yourself...to get through. What breaks my heart even more, is that it's all you love about yourself, because it's all that you feel has gotten you through."

"It's my very foundation." Miracle looked at Cheston. "If it weren't for that, David would have never gotten me out of the illegal orphanage, he would of never did all he did to me, he wouldn't of gotten caught, I would never have been rescued. I would have grew up in there, like Jaemin did. Better a couple years abused and rescued than...your whole life..."

Cheston shook his head. "You can't think like that. You're with me now...and I love you, God, I love you so much." He grabbed Miracle and pulled him close, hugging him, kissing the top of his head.

"I'm sorry that I ruined our night." Miracle clung to Cheston. "I just...wanted to be perfect for you."

"You're perfect, in every way. I am sorry for going all evil, and it was evil, every bit as evil..." He closed his eyes. "I don't want to be my step brother, I don't want to be Eric."

"You did hurt me." Miracle looked up. "You scared me." He shook his head. "Don't ever be like that again."

"Okay." Cheston nodded and kissed Miracle's forehead. "I promise, and I'm so sorry. And if you want, we'll get it treated, they can fix it."

Miracle closed his eyes and nodded. "Thank you."

"I love you." Cheston held him close. "I don't want to let go of you..."

Cheston opened the door and Miracle walked in, and Cheston followed after, shutting the door behind them. "Well, that wasn't a difficult consultation."

"Are you serious?" Miracle turned towards Cheston. "First I have to use this cream...for God knows how long." Miracle tossed the large prescription bag on a table by the door. "Then all of that complicated stuff? Not to mention he said I have to give the thing time to fully heal. I'm going to be spending the next year getting it removed."

"Well, at least I'm doing it for you." Cheston shrugged. "You're just going to have to practice patience. If I can do that, you can."

"Like you're going to wait a year to make love to me?" Miracle grinned. "No, I'll just have to accept my flaw and the fact that you say it doesn't bother you."

"It doesn't." Cheston said. "Though, I know. You will look at me and respond with something like, I must be curious about what you were like prior scar."

Miracle stared at Cheston. "You're learning me already, in more than one way. I've even said practice patience before. And yes, I would of said that you must be curious, because I think you are."

Cheston grinned and shook his head. "And what were you practicing patience for?"

"My cribs bed room, which I didn't even get to enjoy for a month after finally getting it, watch property brothers, might show a rerun of the episode." Miracle walked into the living room from the foyer.

"You were on property brothers?" Cheston laughed and followed Miracle.

"It was my moms idea." Miracle said. "Actually, we were given a tape of the episode, it was mailed to us after they finished all the editing and stuff."

"I would love to see it. If for nothing more than to just see how crazy you were." Cheston smiled until he headed into the living room and saw his mother, with Martin. That was when his smile faded.

Miracle froze where he was. "You got out."

Martin smiled. "Of course I did, what did you expect?"

"The hell are you doing here?" Cheston asked.

"Well, I'm actually glad you both were out, it gave your mother and I a chance to have a nice lunch made by the staff. Shall we all go to the dining room?" Martin looked between them.

"Now he wants to have lunch?" Miracle's eyebrows lifted. "The man has one less bolt than..."

"Miracle, don't." Cheston said. "Don't exaggerate the problem." He said, as if he had some desperate hope something could be resolved, he kind of did.

Miracle looked at Cheston and then followed him after his hand was taken and the four headed to the dining room and Miracle sat down. "Okay, Cheston, I'm sorry...but what if this is poisoned?"

Martin looked at Miracle. "If I did that, wouldn't I have pushed you to sit at a certain spot?" He said after he sat down at the end of the table, his wife sitting at the side.

"Maybe I just so happened to sit at the right place? Wouldn't that be convenient?" Miracle looked at Martin.

Cheston sat at the other end and looked at Miracle. "Why don't we switch?"

Miracle looked at Martin and then over at Cheston. "Or he could be expecting that, and really it's your plate that's poisoned."

"He wouldn't take that chance, he would not take the chance of upsetting my mom and risk getting caught." Cheston said.

"As if he cares how she feels. He would probably do her in." He looked at Martin and Maria. "Shes probably a prisoner lover like Eric was going to make me. She acts like Martha, not that Craig was a bad man, but Martha knew if she wasn't careful, her secret would come out. That's why she was so quiet and timid around him, look at your mom, shes the same way, quiet and careful." Miracle went on, paranoid.

Cheston's eyes rolled up to the ceiling. "How about we just don't eat?" He looked at Martin. "Is that okay with you?"

Martin shrugged and took a sip of his wine. "Your losses."

"So what exactly do you want?" Cheston asked.

"Well, I was doing some thinking in jail. You have a lot of time to think there." Martin said.

"Prepare for a lot of it then." Miracle mumbled.

Martin looked at Miracle and grinned and then continued. "In a way, while unfortunately Eric did lose his life, so did Jaemin. I lost someone I loved, so did Miracle, an eye for an eye. And part of Eric's plan was to take one of Craig's sons, when he discovered Miracle, he wanted to love him, essentially it would of made him part of this family, which is what I am seeing right now, so..in the end, I kind of see this all as...a big win for the family."

Cheston's eyes narrowed. "First of all, don't talk about Jaemin's death like that, and don't rub it in his face, second of all, don't take our relationship and turn it into some win for Eric, it has nothing to do with Eric. We found each other by chance, it happened by chance. There is no winning here, it's not a game."

Miracle frowned at Martin. "Want to see something I can do?"

Martin stared at Cheston and then grinned at Miracle. "We should get to know each other."

Miracle picked up his steak knife and grinned before throwing it towards Martin. The knife spun through the air and Martin's eyes widened as he quickly shifted to the side and the knife stabbed into the wall.

Maria and Cheston's eyes widened and Martin looked behind him and then back at Miracle.

"You didn't have to move, I aimed to miss. I learned it from a Chinese knife thrower at a circus, I tracked him down after the show, he gave me some free sessions till the circus left town." That grin remained on Miracle's face.

A grin slowly appeared on Cheston's face as he stared at Martin.

"Well, that's impressive." Martin said, clearly unhappy. "Though, I would appreciate it if you didn't risk hurting me like that."

"Yeah, I would of appreciated the same thing, now I have a scar that is going to take God knows how long to remove from my body, because you used my mother to try to take me out and protect yourself, I've been marked." Miracle's grin faded into a look of anger.

"I am really sorry for what happened to you, Miracle. And it's a shame that you would be scarred." Martin said.

"Don't pretend to care. As if my life wasn't bad enough, the only thing I felt was beautiful about myself has been ruined." Miracle pushed his food away. "Cheston, I really don't feel like playing pretend with him anymore."

"You heard him, and honestly I don't feel like playing pretend either." Cheston said. "I'm going to advise that Miracle get a restraining order, against you, at least, since he has a clear reason as to why he feels he needs one, I doubt it would be denied."

Martin nodded. "I can't stop you, unfortunately. Miracle, just remember that if you do decide to push this forward and keep it going, it's between Erica and I, who is guilty?"

Miracle shook his head. "Who went to jail and had to bail himself out?" Miracle looked up at Martin. "My mom is far from a suspect now. She voluntarily went in and gave a very elaborate statement, from what I know. And the investigators checked my medications, with my permission, no need for a warrant, they were on count, I didn't drug my own drinks, and I only had two, both of which, you gave to me."

Martin grinned. "Right, and Cheston couldn't so easily buy more pills for you?"

Miracle's eyebrows lifted and he looked at Maria. "Really? You're going to let him throw your son under the bus?"

Martin held a hand up to Maria. "No, this isn't about him replacing them, it's about you having more than you were supposed to have to begin with, so you use the extra, and it just so happens to make perfect count after what you used."

Maria frowned, disliking all of this but she remained quiet, taking another sip of her wine. All she wanted to do was stay out of it, like Cheston had always advised her to do.

Cheston grinned and laughed. "Only everyone would have to be inside your head to come up with that, not to mention my moms three nosey friends were watching him like hawks the short time he was down here."

Martin grinned. "They were, huh? Then I'm sure they saw his friend, Andy? Is that his name? He came running up, big mouthed his issue to everyone around?" He looked at Miracle.

Miracle frowned, wanting to curse Andy as he remembered for a second what he had done, as hazy as the memory was.

Cheston shook his head. "Martin, I want you to leave." He looked at his mom. "You stay."

Martin sighed and stood up. "She rode with me."

"I can take her back to the hotel." Cheston grinned. "Were you told not to leave town?"

Martin stared at Cheston and simply walked out of the dining room.

"Make sure my guest gets out okay!" Cheston called out, it was his way of making sure that a member of his staff made sure Martin was sent out the door.

Maria sat down on the couch. "So, why have I been asked to stay?" She looked up at Cheston. "Some how, I feel this is not friendly."

Miracle sat on one of the sofa chairs and looked between Maria and Cheston.

"Well, since this is the first time I've seen you since, well...a while." Cheston sat down on the love seat beside the couch. "I'm guessing it's because of what you stirred up with that website, I mean, I am glad you came to me with the thing so that I could deal with it. I actually came to find more than I bargained for. But, what's really worse, what I find really bad is that you actually confronted Miracle, in the hospital, and you called him a porn star, and then you seemed to...belittle what happened to him as a child."

Maria's eyes widened. "I never belittled what he says happened to him as a child."

Cheston's eyes narrowed. "What he says happened to him as a child? He told me that you asked him what he was taught as a child, and that by your tone of voice, he felt like you were merely humoring him. I can't understand why, you keep implying that such things never happened, or that it's questionable."

Maria looked at Cheston.

"Why?" Cheston shook his head. "I get why your friends would do such things, those kind of people are petty, and they always make a big deal out of someone that's not a rich drone. I never understood why though, I mean I get it when people think that people without money are all gold diggers, I get the concept as stupid and closed minded as it is, but does Miracle seem like that at all?"

Maria looked up and shook her head. "I guess not." She then eyed the picture. "But look, he's already got a safe, you replaced a picture of Martin and I."

"Like I don't have my own picture of you and my real father over my own safe in my private office, which Miracle has no reason to go into, hasn't even asked to go into. So I just decided to give him the living room one, and let him have something nice of his parents here." Cheston shook his head.

"I found out that he tried to fraud a car dealership into giving him a job!" Maria said. "He tried to fake being a psychic and then for some odd reason, the dealership gave him this rare collectible diamond Mercedes Benz. I bet he sold that sob story he tells."

Miracle looked up at Maria. "I was a teenager, and it was supposed to be a joke, I wasn't trying to really get hired, it was a stupid and impulsive thing to do. And I sold that diamond car. And no, I didn't sell, what you call, my sob story. My boyfriend went to the dealership, I don't know what he said."

"Sold it? You couldn't have donated to charity?" Maria questioned.

"My parents made it for an inheritance when they die." Miracle said.

"Mother!" Cheston scolded her. "Were you a perfect teenager?" He paused. "You know what? Forget I asked, you probably went to one of those proper girl schools." He finally stood up. "As for this sob story you keep going on and on about?!" He looked at Miracle. "Can I?"

Miracle looked at Cheston. "I said I'd never go out of the way to prove anything to her."

"But aren't you tired of her implying that you made it up? Because, honestly, I am." Cheston stared at Miracle.

Miracle looked away. "Fine, since there here."

Cheston walked over and grabbed the folder off the mantle and walked over and dropped it on the coffee table. "Look in it...and then look at him. There is no mistaking it. Don't even ask how I obtained them, all you need to know is that website opened up more than I thought."

Maria stared at the folder and then she looked up at Cheston and slowly picked it up and opened it.

Miracle looked at Maria and then frowned and looked towards the floor.

Maria started flipping through the printed images, shocked and disgusted by what she was seeing.

"Look at his face, look at the Childs face...and then look at Miracle, if you have any sense of age progression at all. Plus he has that little brown dot on his right bottom eye lid. That's the dead giveaway."

Maria looked at the Childs face and then she looked over at Miracle and could clearly tell that the boy sitting in front of her was once the child in the photos that she was holding. "Oh my god." She turned the pictures over and laid them face first on the coffee table so they couldn't be seen.

"I am so sorry..." Maria said, shocked.

Miracle looked up. "I wish...I could say...that I did make it all up." Miracle looked at Cheston.

Maria covered her mouth. "What did he teach you?" She asked, her voice sincere, almost motherly.

"He made me believe that if I loved him, I would let him do those things to me, he said that people who loved each other did that. And then in return, he became..." Miracle closed his eyes. "He acted like the best dad in the world. He...loved me emotionally, or so I thought, he told me he loved me, he said we would be together forever, it was twisted, he was parent and lover at the same time, I couldn't distinguish it, so I went into the world after I was saved, thinking that...you slept with people to love them and...get them to love you." Miracle frowned and shook his head. "But no one reacted like David, there was no emotional love...just sex...and then...the cold would set in."

"You see? I told you." Cheston stared at Maria.

"Even when I learned the truth, how the world works, mentally I know, but emotionally, I...well, it never really hit, so I had habits, and feelings, and impulses, and..to this day, I still live with some of them, mostly self esteem issues, I guess." Miracle shrugged. "He's in jail."

"I really do apologize, I can't even imagine what that must of been like." Maria patted the couch. "Come here?"

Miracle looked at Maria and stood up and walked over and sat beside her, his eyes watering but he tried really hard not to cry. "What?" He asked.

"And I can't imagine what it must have been like going into a world believing such a thing." Maria shook her head. "If you ever need anything, you let me know."

Miracle's voice started to shake as tears fell. "Your Martin's wife though, so how does that work?"

Maria sighed. "I can't control Martin, I never could, I've always done just what Cheston told me, I minded my own business, kept to myself. It's what I still do, but if it's at all in my power, I won't let him hurt you, if I can help it."

Miracle nodded. "Thank you, just don't put yourself in danger if that would be the cost, I won't have anything happening to Cheston's mom."

Maria smiled and leaned over and hugged Miracle, rubbing his back. "Well, I should go."

"I'll take you back to the hotel. Will you be okay, Miracle? You know the security systems here, the cooking staff only comes when specially called, but my door man hangs around." Cheston said.

"I'll be fine." Miracle said after easing back.

"Okay." Cheston nodded and he walked off towards the garage, Maria following him as they went to leave.

Miracle sighed and watched them go, gathering the papers and quickly, almost nervously managed to put them back into the folder and then he stood up after hearing the garage door shut and he walked over and put in the code on the security system. He sighed and pressed his forehead against the wall.

"You!" Conner pointed down the aisle at Miracle. "I'm almost at my deadline! I need my lead!"

Miracle had been browsing some movies in the electronics section when he heard a familiar voice and he looked up at Conner. "Seriously? Oh my god, I told you to find someone else and wrap their head. You haven't done anything? I told you I'm not doing it."

"I don't want to substitute someone and wrap their head." Conner walked up to him.

"Yeah, well, in case you didn't hear, I got shot at a party, and been scrutinized by a bunch of rich old ladies who don't know what they are talking about, and was almost pushed off a roof, and the man is free on bail and in my life...so everything kind of sucks right now." Miracle frowned.

Conner's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously." Miracle sighed. "And I'm browsing a store, as if I'm a normal person with a normal life." He walked down the movie aisle, Conner following him.

"Is it safe for you to even be out alone?" Conner asked.

"Cheston...wanted to hire body guards." Miracle walked across the way and into the home decor section. "So, like..really, could you please just find someone else to do it?" Miracle frowned. "I'm scarred now anyway, so it's not like I'm going to look good on camera. If I wasn't going to do it before, I definitely am not going to do it now." At least the scar gave him one more excuse.

"Where is the scar?" Conner asked.

"On my chest." Miracle said, looking at some of the lamps.

"Well, that sucks." Conner frowned. "I guess...I'll go scouting then."

"Thanks." Miracle said, relieved when Conner turned and walked away. "For once, a rejection is easy." He then frowned. "Or did he reject me? That scar sure did change his opinion." Miracle stopped walking and looked around. "What if all I thought about it is true?"

"About what?"

Miracle heard a familiar voice and turned around to see Andy. "Just...something." He shook his head. "What are you doing here?"

"Just shopping around." Andy shrugged. "I kinda wanted to change the room a bit since you left."

"Yeah, I'm sure you do." Miracle turned around and started walking again.

Andy started walking after him. "What's wrong?"

"Cheston just...told me some things. It makes me uncomfortable around you. Hell, I'm almost uncomfortable around everyone." Miracle walked around to the next aisle and then stopped and crossed his arms and looked down.

"What did he tell you?" Andy asked, walking around in front of Miracle.

"About what you guys talked about in the parking lot." Miracle looked up. "By the way, you know that because I was shot and they had to do surgery on me, you know I got a scar, right? How do you feel about that?"

"A scar?" Andy shook his head. "Why are you asking?"

"I just want to know, how do you feel about it?" Miracle asked.

"Why should it matter? I'm just...your friend." Andy slowly shrugged.

"You seem pretty comfortable saying that now. You're not even mad that Cheston told me about the parking lot." Miracle stared at him.

"Miracle, sometimes...I'm just...in a normal mood. I'm not normally an emotionally high person." Andy sighed and placed a hand on the edge of a shelf and looked down.

Miracle stared at him and his eyes squinted slightly. "How are things with Lacey?"

"Slow, we just hang out, pretty much." Andy said. "Nothing couple like, more best friend like."

Miracle grinned. "Oh, you have my best friend."

"You sound like you're looking for some reason to be upset with me." Andy looked confused. "I don't understand why."

"Because I want to know if you still love me, or lust me, or is it actually both? And if so, do you...still?" Miracle asked.

"Miracle...it's just, you're with Cheston. I've thought a lot since the hospital, and it just seems pointless to hold on." Andy said. "But, I get sad when I think of what could of been."

"What if I were willing to sleep with you? We could go somewhere, now. We could just go find somewhere." Miracle stepped closer. "And you never know..." His hand moved up to rest on Andy's cheek. "It could change everything."

Andy stared at Miracle and then moved his hand up and over the top of Miracle's, holding it there for a moment and then he pulled Miracle's hand away. "That's crazy, why...would you suddenly want to change like that? I mean you denied me for...over four years, you wouldn't be with anyone, then suddenly you find that magical person and..you want to try to change it?" He looked confused.

Miracle dropped his hand and let out a breath and looked slightly off to the side. "I wanted to know...if someone would still want me...with my scar."

"That's it?" Andy asked. "Can't Cheston just throw some money around and get rid of it?"

"Yes, he can, but it's not as easy as I thought, or as quick." Miracle frowned. "I sat in the consultation, listening to all this stuff I didn't understand, all these instructions, all these treatments, multiple and different treatments, strategies, just all this mess, it's not a go in one time and make it disappear." Miracle frowned. "I thought it could be."

"And now you're afraid no one will want you? Does Cheston still want you? Obviously he does, he's sticking by you." Andy then slowly nodded. "You're worried if something ever happens to him, you did it again, you latched on and now you're scared if something happens, you won't be able to find the next person to latch to because they might...they might hate the scar."

Miracle closed his eyes. "Andy, I don't need the psychoanalysis. I just need to know..if you would want me, and I need to know the truth."

Andy shook his head. "Well, what good would a psychoanalysis do you? I mean you've already done it, you've already mentally put yourself there. What's even worse is that you just tried to cheat on him, and tried to sell me a lie just to see if your insecurities would come to life."

Tears ran down Miracle's face and he opened his eyes. "You have no idea of everything I've been through since I was released. Martin made bail, he tried to have this creepy lunch with us, Cheston's mom found a site, thought I was a porn star because that video of me and Daniel was on it, Cheston destroyed the site, found the person who made it...and it doesn't even matter how complicated that story is, just the fact that my theory was proven, he found someone who actually had printed pictures of me...as a child."

Andy's expression softened. "Oh god, that must have been devastating. I knew that always bothered you, but to actually find someone who..." He trailed off and shook his head. "Wow..."

"He burned the pictures last night, we did it together." Miracle sighed and shook his head. "Look, could you just try? I know it's so awful, but...I have to know. We can just go somewhere and try and then you will see the scar and...then I just need to know if you stay turned on or not..."

Andy took a deep breath and shook his head. "I didn't stick by you this long to help you make a big mistake. Miracle, the scar is there, like it or not, knowing if someone is going to get turned off by it is not going to fix it. What is going to fix it, is sticking by Cheston and going through with the doctors that are going to help fix it."

"Does even part of you want to?" Miracle asked.

"Part of me is tempted, and if Cheston told you, inside, it's always felt so hard to say no, even now. But I have to, because it's what's right." Andy stepped forward and gently grasped Miracle's chin within his fingers. "I would love just to kiss you."

Miracle nodded and then stepped forward and hugged Andy, holding onto him as he leaned his face against his chest and he closed his eyes, feeling Andy's arms wrap around him. "You always look out for me."

"I always will." Andy kissed the top of Miracle's head. "Can I ask you something, it's really random." He smiled.

"What?"

"Do you ever plan to stop being blonde?"

Miracle grinned. "I don't know, I just always liked it, from the first time I did it. Letting it go or changing it back, I kinda wonder if it would look strange to me."

"It would be the natural you. Kind of wonder what that looks like." Andy let Miracle go. "Consider it?"

Miracle eased back. "Maybe." He grinned. "By the way, you remember that Chinese knife thrower?"

Andy nodded.

"I put his teaching to use, at that horrible lunch, I threw a knife towards Martin's head and nailed the wall." Miracle said, a grin appeared.

"I bet he wasn't happy with that." Andy grinned. "Just be careful, I really hope you can stop this situation and it doesn't escalate and become like it did before."

"I never thought that sort of thing could happen to the same person twice in a lifetime, still kind of hope that's true and that it doesn't." Miracle looked down and then turned around and headed around the corner.

"I'll see you." Andy called out as Miracle walked off.

Cheston laid in the bed, half way propped up on pillows and the headboard, the television was the only thing illuminating the room. "Of all of fate and destiny." He laughed. "Miracle! Come here!" He called towards the bathroom.

Miracle stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a sky blue tee shirt and a pair of black silk shorts. "What?" He asked.

Cheston laid there in a pair of black boxer briefs, nothing more. He looked at Miracle and waved at the television. "I was just hoping for it, look."

Miracle looked over at the television as he walked closer to the bed.

Erica smiled as she opened the door to see Drew and Jonathan from 'Property Brothers' and their crew. "Hey guys! Come in!" She briefly looked at the camera man and then stepped aside to let everyone in.

"Oh go ahead, that things ugly and brick, I don't care about it." Erica laughed.

"It's property brothers." Miracle climbed onto the bed.

Cheston grinned as he listened to Miracle's mom go on about the bed room and his eyes widened. "Wow...you are talking about a room from cribs." He softly laughed.

Miracle stared at the television.

"Your mom is hilarious." Cheston grinned, watching on. "Oh! There you are..."

"You're really doing it?" Miracle looked up and then briefly glanced at the camera man.

"She probably just gets pissed." Miracle grinned and took Jaemin's hand and walked outside.

Cheston grinned. "You guys had killer humor."

Miracle stared at himself and Jaemin, frozen in how real and physical the moment seemed, for once it wasn't just a memory in his head, now it was a memory that was playing right before his very eyes, something clear, crisp, and real.

Cheston looked over at Miracle. "Are...you okay?"

"Yeah...it's just...seeing me and Jaemin, seeing a memory in the physical, seeing who I used to be, seeing who I was, with him, seeing myself with him. Seeing it...right before my very eyes..." Miracle slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry, I know it must hurt you, when I talk about him like that."

Cheston changed the channel and muted the television and looked at Miracle. "Hey, it's okay. I understand his significance in your life, I know that it was deep, I also know that I feel secure that you're in the present, with me. I don't feel threatened by this."

Miracle took a deep breath and nodded. "It didn't make me sad, it was just...really surreal, it was like I was watching it happen in real time and I was just...I was just this blank viewer. It's so hard to describe."

"It felt like it was just yesterday, I guess?" Cheston's eyebrows lifted, doubting that Miracle hadn't been saddened by it.

Miracle nodded. "Yeah, and it was like I couldn't be in two places at once, so I had to go blank here, just to see me there."

Cheston wrapped an arm around Miracle and pulled him close. "How long ago was it before..."

"A month." Miracle answered quickly. "More like two months. This was September and...Jaemin died at the end of October." Miracle looked up at Cheston. "At least you got to see what I was like."

"You were happy, so happy, I wish someday...you could be that happy with me." Cheston frowned. "I've never seen you...that happy."

"I was a kid, my mom was always fun..."

Cheston shook his head. "Thanks, but I know you're trying to make me feel better. Maybe those things are true, but it was Jaemin."

Miracle laid his head on Cheston's chest and sighed. "I can be that happy again, in time."