Trigger The Years Past - 2. Chapter 2: Tricked

Miracle sat down in the office and stared at the Principal, feeling as if he were a student again.

"You can call me, Wayne or Mr. Garret, which ever you prefer." The man said.

"Right." Miracle managed a smile. "Uh...so, my work history isn't very much. I was...well, a greeter...at a car dealership. Um...that job ended because I was kidnapped..." He looked around. "And then I was an at home crisis hotline person...and I got fired for chatting with the people when they were in a better mood." Miracle looked at Mr. Garret. "And now, well...I'm uh...an entertainer." He shook his head. "Was, I quit, they just don't know it. It's a come and get basis..."

The man slowly nodded. "Well, that is a short and...yet telling job history."

"Yeah, I know. I guess the crisis line job would be the closest thing as far as experience." Miracle scratched the back of his head. "Thing is...I went through a great deal of trauma's and...well I was in high school not all that long ago, so...I think I could relate to problems, more than you know." Miracle's eyes widened. "Not that I'm a problem person! I have things well under control..." He nodded.

"Right." The man nodded slowly. "Well...being that you were in high school not that long ago, I would question whether you would have problems taking an authoritive role." He looked at Miracle. "Could you come in here and see me as a boss or as a Principal? How would you feel? Would you be able to come in here and emotionally and mentally see this place in the light that we would need you to see it in?"

Miracle stared at the man and while he had felt like he was looking at a Principal, he shook his head. "It would be no problem. I remember wearing the blue hat, so long as I know that, I can differentiate just fine."

"So you could be authoritive?"

"Sure." Miracle nodded and smiled. Who couldn't boss people around?

"Follow me." Mr. Garret stood up and Miracle followed him through the lobby and then out and across the main hall. "This would be your office." He unlocked the door and opened it and handed Miracle the key ring. "Keys to the office, the filing cabinets, of course digital copies are much easier found on the computer, all the information on that is in the handbook in the drawer, all supplies ready." He swung the keys at Miracle. "Sure you want to give it a go?"

Miracle looked inside the office and the thought that it would be 'his' office, that was a little overwhelming. "Um, yeah." Miracle took the keys. "Is that everything?"

"Yep, for now. I'll have the background check ran, so long as that is clean, you will be good to go." The man said.

"Okay, so what do I do until then?" Miracle asked.

"Settle in, get a feel for it, the check only takes so long." The man then walked off.

Miracle slowly nodded and walked into the office and shut the door and then he looked around. "It's mine..." He walked over to the desk and dropped the keys. "This is mine?" He sat down behind the desk. "It's mine...." He grabbed the phone and dialed Andy's number.

"Hello?" Andy answered.

"Andy, I am sitting in this office and I am freaking out."

"Miracle? I didn't recognize this number."

"That's because it's the office phone. My office phone. I am sitting here...in my office...my fucking office...after talking to the Principal, feeling like a student again, having to pretend not to feel that way. Now I'm in this room, in this building...and it's my office..."

Andy started laughing. "Don't have a melt down."

"It's weird, I feel like everything should be opposite. Wait until there's a sign on this desk with my name on it...that's not going to be right." Miracle sat back. "And I have access to the computer, I feel like I'm sneaking on it and someones going to bust the door down."

Andy grinned. "Hey, you have the access, dig through the dirt."

"That's awful." Miracle looked around. "But hell....that just reminds me...I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Do I just sit here? Is that how it works?"

"I don't know, it's not my job." Andy laughed. "I'm so happy that you got it, though."

"Part of me wonders why. What if it's one of those rare times and he's going to expect me..." Miracle frowned and opened the drawer and pulled the handbook out and tossed it on top of the desk and started flipping through it. "I will never use myself for bribery again."

"You really think that could be it?"

"Come on, a greeter at a car dealership, an at home crisis liner? A pole dancer? Okay, I didn't outright tell him that, I just said entertainer...but still, how would that job history get me hired? Unless there's something else..." Miracle threw the handbook over his shoulder and it landed on the floor. "Okay...I know what he wants." Miracle stood up.

"Don't jump to conclusions." Andy said.

"Or what if it's worse? What if he's one of those football obsessed Principals and I'm for the jocks? It'll be Brad all over again....and then..."

"Miracle!" Andy interrupted him. "Just wait and see..."

"You know I get paranoid when things come to easy and they are good." Miracle started to pace and stretched the cord of the phone, pulling the phone off the desk. "I mean, the world just doesn't work like that!" Miracle then spun around just as the phone cord broke free from the wall jack and the phone crashed to the floor. "Oh no!"

"Miracle? Hello? Miracle?" Andy shook his head.

"I gotta get the phone." Miracle scrambled to pick the phone up and sat it back on the desk and grabbed the cord, just as he heard a knock on the door. "Uh...who is it?!" He asked, pulling the cord around the desk, moving for the wall jack.

"It's Wayne." He opened the door just as Miracle had rushed back around the desk and sloppily attempted to hang the receiver up but managed it after the second attempt.

"Oh hey." He smiled at Mr. Garret "So what is it?"

"Your background check came back clean." Mr. Garret said.

"Okay." Miracle sat down. "Um...I was wondering...why am I qualified for this job? I mean...certainly there are people with far more...uh...sophistication?" He hadn't even shared his sob story so he knew this wasn't a sympathy giving.

"Oh, there are, you are most certaintly correct." Mr. Garret nodded. "But, I felt like having someone who is more relateable, well, it might work. And if not? I can just fire you." He smiled.

"Right..." Miracle stared at him. "So...okay, we are being straight with each other, right? All cards on the table? I mean, there isn't something that...you're not telling me, right?"

The man's eyebrows lifted. "I've said everything. I think it's you who isn't saying everything."

Miracle looked down. "I guess...I felt like this job came a little to easy given what I got." He looked up at Wayne. "I'll tell you one thing...very personal. When things come easy for me, there tends to be...an expectation, the only way I know if it's not that, is if it's because I told my sob story and I'm getting it out of sympathy or I find out it's some other..reason."

Wayne turned around and walked over to the door and shut it. "Miracle..." He walked over and sat down in the chair across from the desk. "I'll tell you a secret, I slipped one of those fifties on the stage last time you were there, hope you got it."

Miracle slowly looked up at him. "So...there is...an expectation. What person in there right mind would...hire someone like me to work...here."

"The only expectation is to see a wonderful face around here." Wayne smiled. "You do have one."

"That's it?" Miracle seemed surprised.

"That's it." Wayne stood up and walked out of the office.

A knock was heard on the door as Miracle finished setting up the computer for himself and he closed the handbook. "Uh...who is it?"

"Cookie Monster." Said the voice from the other side.

Miracle paused and then grinned. "Right, Sesame Street." He mumbled. "Come in." He eased back and closed the handbook and laid it on his abdomen and crossed his hands on top of the book.

The door opened and Gavin walked in, clearly not a little twerp to get teased, but at the same time, not a total meat head either. Miracle could tell if he was athletic at all, maybe it was swimming or basketball, but nothing more. He reminded him of Aiden, just more on the rough side.

Miracle watched Gavin as he came in and shut the door and walked over and sat in the chair. "Who are you? Where's the counselor?"

"Me?" Miracle grinned. "I...stuffed the counselor in the trunk of my car...and I hijacked the office." Miracle pushed the rolling chair back and kicked one foot up onto the desk and then the other, crossing his feet at the ankles. "I'll probably get expelled, go to jail, actually prison, kidnap is a felony, right? Do you happen to know any good lawyers?"

Gavin stared at Miracle and then quietly laughed, he gained mild amusement out of him. "Okay, well you enjoy getting caught, actually, I'm going to report you because I need my session."

Miracle started to quietly laugh and then shifted the phone across the desk with his foot. "Principal is speed dial pound zero, go ahead and report me."

Gavin looked at the phone and then looked up at Miracle.

"Go ahead." Miracle nodded at the phone. "Truth be told, when you do, you will come to find out that there is no kidnapped counselor because the counselor is me....as funny or as fucked up or however that sounds to you." He pulled his feet off the desk and leaned forward. "Want to confirm it or move along? Boss wants to make sure I can be...bossy, when I need to be."

Gavin grinned. "Well, that's just damn hilarious. A counselor who cusses..."

"I'm not ashamed, my mouth's been to the gutter, goes to the gutter and comes from the gutter when it feels right. See, that's the point, in me. In hiring me, I won't sugar coat a thing." Miracle then looked at the computer. "Name? I need to pull up your baggage." He grinned. "How many kilobytes do you think it takes up?"

"Gavin Aries." He said and then shook his head. "How many kilobytes would your issues take up?" He asked right back.

"Oh, mine would go into the megabytes." Miracle typed in his name and pulled up his file. "You see, while I work here, I'll be having my own video therapy during lunch hour." He laughed. "How messed up is that?"

"Ironic." Gavin said.

Miracle nodded and looked over the file. "So...you're a street kid, druggie mother who has crappy boyfriends...lives in a crappy place...in the closet...if the gang ever found out, you'd be in trouble. Huh...so there's a gang. Bloods, crypts? Or some other? I got connections...but I don't think I'd exactly use them..."

"You got connections?" Gavin looked up.

"Oh yeah, I was in it with the angels..." He looked at Gavin and shook his head. "There no angels, and I learned the bad way not to play with people that you can't handle. That's like setting off a firework in your face." Miracle stared at him.

Gavin's eyes widened. "You're lying."

"Believe what ya want." Miracle looked at the computer. "So, what of all of the above is the pressing issue today?"

"Well, how did you get out of the gang?" Gavin asked.

Miracle's eyebrows lifted. "Uh...well...lets just say a crime got way to messy and they decided to say fuck this and took back off to their home state, of course that was after killing my stalker, leaving me with no...well, no more danger."

Miracle paused and looked at Gavin. "And it kinda helped that the groups leader...well...in the end, he developed a fatherly affection towards me. Some of those guys are ruthless, others stick to it because you normally don't get out alive, then you just...live with the regrets."

"So you got sympathy? How do I do that?" Gavin asked. "To get out."

"Well, it's not like I did it on purpose." Miracle grabbed a pen and started chewing the top of it. "Maybe come down with a fatal illness....and be sick for a while, then they will have no choice but to let you lay low, eventually you'll slip out of the picture and be forgotten. If anyone does care enough, you eventually get healed, what a miracle!"

Gavin's eyebrows lifted and he started laughing. "That's insane. People don't just forget. Some of them, I go to this school with. How am I suppose to be sick and in bed dying while I have to come to school and then hide around?"

Miracle closed his eyes momentarily. "Why do you want out of the gang?" He looked at Gavin.

"Because...of...well, what it says on the file. I...can hardly say it. I'm still not comfortable with it."

Miracle looked at the screen. "In the closet?"

Gavin nodded.

"They would hate that? Beat you up for it? Gangs always have something they hate, race, sexuality, hell eventually they'll start hating people with birthmarks or something." Miracle rolled his eyes. "Oh, you're in a horrible position."

"Yeah, and while you've been...well, you cheer me up." Gavin grinned. "You're amusing."

"I get told that by people." Miracle grinned. "Well, my doctor will probably bitch me out for this...but I can always throw away my new found career after a day, take all my cash out of my safe deposit boxes and we can drive away like Thelma and Louise...plus one."

"You care that much?" Gavin asked.

"Uh...well of course I care." He shook his head. "I'm just thinking out loud and every thought goes through my head, if I were really stressed, I'd of probably added driving off the grand canyon too."

"I'm stressing you?" Gavin frowned.

"No, I'm stressing me." Miracle's head fell to the desk. "I suck at this job, I completely suck at it...you have a problem and I can't do anything with it..." Then he jerked his head up. "The money, I can pay them off to let you out. I knew those tips would come in handy for something!"

"They would probably just rip you off." Gavin shook his head.

"Ugh!" Miracle suddenly tugged at what short blonde strands that he could. "You're just like..." He stared at Gavin.

"Just like...who?" He asked.

"Never mind." Miracle frowned. "He failed all my ideas too...like his last fucking idea was so fucking great. Did me a whole hell of a lot of good."

"What happened?" Gavin asked.

"I'm the counselor..." Miracle dug into his pocket and pulled out a small white pill container, he opened it and pulled out a xanax and tossed it into his mouth. "Sorry...it's for my stress."

"You're a mess." Gavin stared at him like a nut job had been hired to deal with the nuts.

Miracle looked at Gavin. "Well, if I'm such a mess, go pay for real therapy and don't substitute it with me!" Miracle then spun around and turned the back of the computer chair to Gavin and propped his foot against the edge of the filing cabinets and his face fell into his hands. "Just go..."

Gavin frowned and he stood up, part of him wondered what plagued Miracle so bad, part of him felt like it would be a relief to forget about his problems for once, he had never really seen anyone break down so easily.

Gavin turned around and walked to the door and opened it, then he shut the door, making sure it made a sound.

Miracle sighed when he heard the door shut and pulled out his cell phone and went through the little contacts he had and tapped Andy's name and brought the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Andy answered, hearing the slight sounds of crying.

"Andy, come pick me up...this was a failure...everything fails." Miracle cried and wiped at his face.

"Miracle, what happened?" Andy asked, concerned.

"I just tried to help someone who threw every idea I came up with right onto the floor. You know who used to do that?! Jaemin....he did that, I would throw ideas at him like baseballs and he would bat each one right out of the fucking field..."

"Well, what was the problem? Miracle, sometimes some problems are really hard to solve and throwing ideas at people like that, especially if it's every little idea that goes through your mind, it's going to frustrate you." Andy said.

"The problem is how to get out of a gang. You can't pay them off, they might just lie and betray you, you can't fake sickness and just be forgotten about, god knows I should have known that, Eric sure didn't forget me after being gone on the run for a year!"

Andy's eyes widened. "Oh God...I'm really sorry..." He frowned, hating it when Miracle had melt downs..

"Just come and get me, just pick me up, I want to go home and sleep...just come get me." Miracle pulled the phone away and hung up.

"I'm sorry.." Gavin said quietly.

Miracle looked up and then turned around. "You didn't leave? Why the hell..." He trailed off. "Not like you heard any secrets anyway. I failed, I want to go home..."

Gavin stared at Miracle. "A problem can't be solved in a day. Some how...I think you should know that, it just isn't at the top of your head, where you seem to think."

Miracle's eyebrows lifted. "Top of my head..." Yet Gavin seemed to hit the nail on the head.

Gavin stopped at the door. "By the way...I hope to see you here tomorrow." He looked at Miracle. "Helping you might not be the purpose of you being here but...I want you here, especially if just being here helps you, so be here, if not for me, then for yourself." He walked out.

Andy pulled up and parked his truck near the entrance to the building of the car dealership. "Okay, I figured you'd want to see a variety so this is multi brand, new and used. So we can look around and...if something is above the money range, I'll let you know."

Miracle looked around. "I hope they don't have some poor person hired as a car greeter or something." Miracle shook his head and opened the door, climbing out of the truck and he shut it and began to walk around the lot, a grin appeared on his face. "This is the first time in like forever I've got to shop for something....big!"

Andy laughed and followed Miracle. "Well, I'm happy for you. It's a treat, just to see you happy."

"Well I am. The doctor really has to give some, rewards are good for the heart! Just like the sun is good for you!" Miracle spun around and ran through the rows of cars and stopped as he looked around. "There are so many...how can I possibly look at them all?"

"Eh..." Miracle walked around a light blue Mini Convertible Cooper. "I like this one....but it's shape...it's fucked up. Plus look..." He waved his hand. "It's a manual."

Andy laughed and looked at the price on the front of it. "Alright jumping big."

"Hey, it's normal, isn't it?" Miracle continued to walk around.

"Sure." Andy grinned.

"Here's one..it's a model and it says you can do all customizations." Miracle grinned.

Andy rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't you rather have one that you could just drive away with?"

Miracle frowned. "Kinda...waiting for that other car was a bitch."

"How about this one." Andy waved at a silver convertible.

Miracle turns around and looks at it and then grabs the tag and his eyes widened as he started reading the list of features. "This is good." He dropped the tag.

"Yeah...and it'll leave you with about twenty thousand left of the money." Andy said.

"For real? What are we going to do with that?" He grinned.

"That...is going into a savings account." Andy said. "Now do you want this car?"

Miracle took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay, it works."

Andy smiled and wrapped an arm around Miracle's shoulders and headed towards the building which wasn't to far off from where they were. Miracle walked over to one of the tables where a man was sitting at, the man looked awfully a lot like Stephen. His eyes widened as he fell into the seat beside Andy and the man closed the magazine he was reading and thankfully, it wasn't Stephen. Miracle sighed with relief.

"Uh...yeah, okay, so I want to buy the car out there, the silver convertible one." Miracle said.

"The Chrysler 200, the 2014." Andy added.

"Yeah, I don't have to work out any payment plans, I have the money to pay it off right now." Miracle nodded. "That still means warranty is valid, right?"

The man's eyebrows lifted. "Yes, warranty will be in effect. In fact, if you can pay it off in one payment, warranty will remain in effect for seven years, save for the engine at the end of five years, but if you decided you wanted a new engine after five years but before seven ended, it would be discounted."

"What if you want a new engine before five years?" Miracle asked.

"Well, want was a bad word to use." The man shook his head. "I mean if you need one, should something happen to it beyond repair. If that happened before five years, we would replace that, free of charge, but it would take the additional two years off your term, leaving you with five years warranty."

"Some way to pay a price." Miracle mumbled. "Still, that is decent of you."

"Well the chances of an engine going bad on a new car in five years, well if you take care of it, it's unlikely." The man smiled. "So, seeing that you have this money, I will need identification, two forms of identification and the credit card of payment."

Miracle tossed his drivers liscence and his social security card on the table and Andy tossed his credit card on the table.

"Okay, I will take these to my office, run them on file and push your bank for instant payment so that you can drive off." The man smiled and got up and headed for his office.

"I hate...car places." Miracle watched the man walk away. "I hate them...they always feel the same."

"You have no good memory of that dealership at all?" Andy asked.

"Well apart from joking about being a psychic...but the humor in that gets kinda ruined when you're thrown all over the news and called a fraud." Miracle frowned.

"At least your references weren't checked." Andy said.

"Didn't need to be." Miracle frowned. "The Principal? He was at my last strip show, paid me one of the fifties that I got that night. Yeah, and so when I found that out, he said all he expected of me was to see a wonderful face around." He shook his head.

"So...he just wants to see you come in...and work? That's it? He just wants to see you around?" Andy's eyebrows lifted.

"What he said, given the lousy job I did yesterday though, it's why I didn't even go today. I'd be home asleep right now if you didn't take your lunch off to do this with me." Miracle rocked back and forth impatiently.

"Did he call? See why you weren't there?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, I already planned for that. I went on the internet and recorded a sound bite of the phone number being disconnected, picked up, played the recording and hung up. If he asks, I had issues with the cable company."

Andy grinned. "Very childish of you." He looked at Miracle. "I don't know if I ever want that part of you to go away, the doctor, everyone says you're supposed to grow up...but sometimes I just find myself...liking that side of you."

"Well, it's not to say I haven't changed any at all, I just do things when I need to do them." Miracle shrugged.

The man returned and smiled as he sat down and Miracle's forms of identification were returned to him as Andy's credit card was returned to him. "The payment has officially went through, it's legit, as is everything else. So just sign these pages, it's just stating that you take ownership of the car and the warranty contract and that the thirty day tags will be active and legal until you get your own."

Miracle nodded and put his cards away and grabbed the pen and signed the first page and flipped through and signed the other two. The man took the paper back and handed Miracle the key with a silver ring on it and smiled. "Enjoy your car...and pleasure doing business with you."

Andy waited until the man walked away and then pulled out two more keys. "Copies to the mail box and the house." He handed them over.

"Oh! The house key is Mickey Mouse! You know I love him..." He took the key and slipped it on his ring and then took the mail box key which was simply a yellow star and slipped that one on as well.

"I know you do." Andy smiled and stood up. "I got to get back to work, can you make it home okay?"

Miracle stood up and laughed, rolling his eyes. "I lived in New York...Vegas is nothing." He walked around Andy and headed out.

"Was to me...culture shocker." Andy said, following Miracle out the door.

Gavin heard the door in the living room open and his eyes widened, not sure of exactly who it was. He had just gotten there himself and had parked his mom's car in the back yard. He looked around and then quickly opened the door to the closet, glad it was one of those closet's that didn't squeak for once. He walked inside and then quietly closed it, holding onto the knob so the door didn't 'click' shut.

Miracle walked into the bed room and sighed as he rolled his head around. "New car...and now twenty thousand dollars left." He laughed as he walked into their private bathroom, carelessly swinging the door, causing it to leave the slightest of cracks as it didn't shut all the way. He walked to the garden tub and turned the hot water on and then turned the cold knob, adjusting the temperature and began to let it fill up.

"What will I ever do with the money?" He walked to the double sink vanity and leaned down, opening one of the cabinet doors to grab the blue bath powder and then looked up and into the mirror. "Seriously? What will I ever do with it? Not like there's anything else I want." He sat the box on the vanity. "Then again...maybe that's just you being negative."

Miracle looked down at the box. "Take yourself to the mall and see what you do..."

Yeah, it was one of those closet's that didn't squeak, Miracle couldn't stand them, he made sure there was not a door in the trailer that made a sound, and take pity on Andy if the floors started creaking. Gavin opened the door just enough to see Miracle go into the bathroom and swing the door nearly shut. He opened the closet door and stepped out.

Miracle walked away from the mirror and then looked down and rolled his eyes. "These things take forever to fill up." He sat the box on the side and started to undress, leaving his clothes in a pile and then grabbed the box and started shaking the powder in the water. He sat it to the side and reached in, waving his hand around as the powder dissolved and turned the water blue. He then stepped in and turned the switch and the jets started and he sat down in the almost filled tub, he liked to nearly over flow the thing before he turned the water off.

Gavin walked over by the dresser and picked up a picture, it was of Miracle, Issac and Jaemin sitting on the floor in Craig's house with Miracle in the middle. He stared at the picture for a moment and sat it down, then he noticed a wooden box beside the picture, it was like a small treasure chest. He opened it and found the locket. He picked it up and read the outside. He then opened it and he looked at the picture and then his eyes shifted over to the inscription inside. "Jaemin..." He mumbled almost under his breath. His eyes shifted to the picture, wondering which one, if either, was Jaemin.

Miracle turned off the water and grinned, closing his eyes as he waved his arms through the waves that the jets created within the water.

Gavin closed the locket and noticed a cell phone was in there beside it. Who puts a cell phone in such a box, with such a locket? He wondered as he picked up the cell phone and then looked at the bathroom door. He looked down at the phone and pressed the button at the top. As soon as it started playing the tune as most cell phones do as they turn on, his eyes shut tight and he stumbled back towards the closet, clutching tightly to the phone, wanting to curse himself.

Miracle's eyes shot open, knowing the tune and knowing which cell phone that tune belonged to. More importantly, who turned it on? Who was there?" He suddenly jumped up and grabbed a robe and nearly fell as he practically jumped and ran out of the tub, throwing the robe on.

"Don't touch that!" Miracle screamed out.

Gavin looked up and his eyes widened, catching just a glimpse of Miracle before he threw the robe around himself and quickly pulled the tie. "I...I...I'm sorry...I just...."

Miracle tied the robe and his eyes narrowed. "First of all....how did you find out where my house is? And why the hell are you in it?!" His tone raised as he moved around the bed.

"You didn't show up this morning...so I did people searches....I....I..." Gavin walked back until he hit the corner of the room.

"People searches?! I don't show up...so you come and find me?!" Miracle snatched the phone from Gavin. "First of all...this phone is never to be touched...much less turned on." Miracle pressed the button to turn the phone off and he spoke over the tune. "And secondly when I don't show up...it's because obviously I don't want to be found!"

"If you don't like the phone, then why don't you throw it away?!" Gavin shouted back.

Miracle frowned and turned around and walked off to the dresser and opened the box and put the phone up. "I never said I didn't like the phone..." He closed his eyes. "I don't know how I feel about the phone."

"It's Jaemin's isn't it? That's why it would be in the box with the locket he gave you. That picture, is either one of them Jaemin?" Gavin pushed, walking closer.

"You don't get to ask that." Miracle looked up. "You're a student and...this is stalking." His eyes then widened at the realization of how much like Daniel he just sounded.

"Oh, so you going to report me?" Gavin asked, pressing his luck.

Miracle closed his eyes and shook his head. "No." He sighed and looked at the picture. "The one on the right is Jaemin." He walked over to the bed and sat down. "And that phone...I don't know why I keep it. I never turn it on, I watched the video...and then I turned it off...and I never turned it on again."

Gavin's eyebrows lifted curiously. "What happened?"

"I don't talk about that anymore, if I hadn't of let go...I couldn't stand to have that picture right there without crying my eyes out. It's just there, the phone is just...there." Miracle shook his head.

He sat down beside Miracle. "I came here because I was curious." He shrugged. "I figured it would take my mind off of my own mess for a while."

"And you're in a mess." Miracle looked up. "First thing...I think you need to be comfortable with yourself...beyond anything else and before anything else. None of the rest will matter until then. If you're uncomfortable with yourself, getting beaten for it, that will only reinforce it."

"So that means...being able to say it?"

Miracle nodded. "Without hesitation, without inner nervousness about how you feel. When you're comfortable with yourself, you should be able to say it to me...without feeling off or weird or wrong or...tense and nervous."

"How was it for you?" Gavin asked.

"For me...it kind of just always was." Miracle said, a breath being drawn in and held for several moments and then he released it. "For me...I was so obsessed with finding love, I just did what I wanted and I didn't bother to hide it. It was like, you know it or not, whatever. I'm doing what I'm doing."

"That seems...really natural, kinda like straight people, they don't have to deal with telling people or planning how or...dealing with gaining courage. They just do what they do." Gavin said.

"It worked for me." Miracle then frowned as he thought about it. "The gay thing, anyway." He looked up at Gavin. "The relationship part...you really have to be careful with yourself. I don't regret a single thing I did, never would, the only thing I regret is the outcome."

Gavin stared at Miracle. "Jaemin died...didn't he?"

"If you had dug into the right place on that phone, you would of found his video, where he tells me that he's setting me free, where I can only have a new start by losing the very last thing that I had. Anyway, he finishes the video, I had walked into the room, and he grabbed the gun..." Miracle trailed off. "He had no idea how I thought or felt or what I wanted. He just wanted to give me what that locket said, obviously didn't mean the same thing to him as it did to me."

Gavin frowned. "I'm really sorry...and I know that sounds really cliche." He looked down. "How long were you two together?"

"About two years...give or take a couple of months. But...you have no idea as to the depths with which that went for me. He was everything...he took care of me...and for the longest time...I didn't know how I would live without him." His eyes started to water as tears fell. "And I got people around me, they've helped for all this time, four years, I guess it's been. And it's still like a fresh cut with two pounds worth of bandaids put over it." Miracle looked away.

Gavin moved closer and his hand moved up to Miracle's face, turning him to look at him as he wiped the tears away. "But it does get better. It will always hurt, it will always feel like a fresh cut when you talk or even think about it. But it doesn't consume you and that's what really matters."

Miracle looked at Gavin and nodded as his tears were wiped away. "Yeah." He said, letting out a held breath.

"He was lucky." Gavin grinned. "You're so beautiful..." His hand drifted down Miracle's chest, outside the robe. "There isn't any other guidance counselor I would care this much for."

Miracle stared at Gavin. "So that's it? You care because you think I'm beautiful?" He looked down. "You don't even know me...yet you care."

"Well you cared about me." Gavin said.

"That's because...well, I knew about you and your situation." Miracle looked up. "I don't need people caring about me or liking me or anything else just because of what they see." He grabbed Gavin's hand and pushed it away.

Gavin pulled his hand away. "Really? Well, you might not know it, obviously you don't, I do know a few things about you."

"There awful things." Miracle argued back.

"So tell me...why is it so bad if I liked you for being beautiful?" Gavin asked, his eyes narrowed.

Miracle looked up. "Because...I've been used, taken advantage of...so...it's my way of knowing how to protect myself, if someone just likes me because I'm beautiful, they are probably a user."

"This must of happened a lot." His eyebrows lifted. "I wonder why, were you to difficult to love? Have to many relationships end? Or did people just intentionally trick you...or maybe a little of both?"

Miracle closed his eyes. "No...it would be my fault. It was my fault because...." Miracle shook his head. "You know what? No, you've gotten enough out of me, this isn't a tell all exclusive...and I'm not about to tell you my deepest and darkest secret."

"Fine." Gavin nodded. "But if I were after sex...I'd of already ripped that robe open right now."

"You wouldn't...because you're still to uncomfortable with yourself." Miracle fired back.

"Then why was I comfortable enough with you to call you beautiful?" Gavin asked.

"In private, just the two of us, and you know I wouldn't hate you for being who you are. Baby steps." Miracle crossed his arms.

Gavin looked down. "Can I kiss you?"

Miracle looked down thoughtfully and then slowly shook his head. "No one kisses me."

"Why?" He asked.

"Sex...used to ease my pain." Miracle looked up. "Now I just don't want to be touched at all. The idea...in my head, the way I picture it, feels so sweet...but for whatever reason, I feel at the edge of a cliff...and I feel like it would pull me over."

"I know this is soon to say...and I'm not saying it with me or with anyone specifically...but to fall in love...you have to fall." Gavin stood up and walked back and away from the bed. "I hope to see you tomorrow."

Miracle took in the words but only reacted to the last of what Gavin said. "It's what I got the car for."

Gavin grinned and turned around to walk out. Miracle sat there, soon hearing the front door shut and then he took a deep breath and sighed, falling over onto the bed. "I wanted to." He whispered. "Not like it's morally wrong, I was a senior four years ago, big deal." He frowned.

Andy walked through the door and his eyebrows lifted to see Miracle cooking up a storm, which was unusual. "Uh...what's going on?" Andy asked.

"Sterling is flying into town and should be landing soon and he's coming to dinner." Miracle smiled and stirred the spaghetti noodles. "So I'm cooking us dinner."

"Okay, um...but there is something that I kind of want...to talk to you about...and it's serious." Andy frowned and walked into the kitchen. "I should have realized it myself, I was just so happy that you were doing something."

Miracle turned towards Andy. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Your job." Andy said.

"What about it?" Miracle asked.

"It's illegal." Andy said. "I started feeling funny about the way he hired you. Not joke funny but odd funny. So..."

"So?" Miracle shook his head.

"You don't have the requirements to even work a job like that." Andy said. "Graduating high school does not make you eligible for that kind of job."

Miracle dropped the spoon on the floor. "Why would Wayne do that? Doesn't he know he would get in trouble?"

"Not if he forged the records for you...and if he does get caught, he can easily blame you for handing in the forged documents." Andy went on.

"Oh my god..." Miracle walked over to the sink and then sunk down to the floor. "I am so stupid..."

"Miracle, you are not stupid. I didn't realize it either." Andy walked over and kneeled down.

"Yeah but now he can blackmail me! And if I don't listen....he can make me pay the consequences..." Miracle stared at Andy. "You don't know the kind of life...but I do."

"Your fingerprints aren't on them." Andy said.

"You think they are going to fingerprint in a forgery case? Hell no!" Miracle stood up just as a knock on the door was heard. "That's Sterling." He covered his face and turned his back away, looking down into the sink.

Andy walked to the door and opened it. "Hey."

Sterling smiled. "Hey." Though as he looked at Andy, his smile slowly faded. "What happened?"

"Miracle's new job is illegal...and we think the boss might of forged the required legal documents." Andy stepped aside.

Sterling came in and looked around and then spotted Miracle in the kitchen. "What? Why would someone do that?"

"Because the man saw me on stage!" Miracle cried and his hands slammed down on the edge of the sink and turned around. "Because I was a pole dancer, because he was there! Because he slipped a fifty dollar bill onto the stage and I didn't notice him! Because I thought I could just go and be a guidance counselor! It wasn't even my idea and now I'm hired and I don't even legally have the credentials for it...so either I'm working there with no credentials or he forged some!" Miracle took a deep breath. "He's going to blackmail me! I told you when shit comes to easy!"

"Miracle, calm down." Sterling walked through the kitchen and grabbed him by the shoulders. "All we have to do is go to the cops first, tell them what happened. Will they really think you made fake credits if you're there reporting it?"

Miracle cried and looked away from Sterling. "Now I just want to leave...we can move somewhere else..." He fell into Sterling's arms. "I'm good for nothing."

"That is not true." Sterling hugged Miracle.

Andy walked over and sighed, wanting to comfort him.

"It is true." Miracle pulled away and walked around them and opened the wine cooler and pulled out a bottle of champagne and sat it on the counter.

"Miracle, no...you don't need that." Andy moved over and snatched the bottle away as Miracle went to open it.

"Give it here!" Miracle screamed and then covered his face.

Sterling stared at Miracle, having been shocked and even now still rather shocked from the moment he came in the door to see Miracle still such a wreck. He hadn't been around to see what had happened to him when Jaemin died, but this was a disaster.

Miracle sighed and stood up right and wiped his face. "I want to confront him first....and then we go to the police." He looked between each of them. "Dinner's half done." He then turned around and walked off for the bed room.