Trigger The Years Past - 29. Chapter 29: Tease And Torture

Godfrey stood in the bathroom and stared at Miracle, the shower running. "Are you sure about this? I mean, you could be setting us up just to prove him right."

Miracle grinned. "And if we don't? Imagine...we put ourselves in such a tempting position...and nothing happens." He took a deep breath. "For some reason, I think I can trust you."

"You really believe in me, that much?" He asked, staring into Miracle's eyes.

Miracle nodded. "Yeah...and if you believe in yourself, come in, if not...wait until I'm done." He stepped back and pulled those wet swimming trunks from his waist, down his legs as they stubbornly clung to him, and finally kicked them to the side. He stood up, entirely revealed to Godfrey in all his soft and smooth perfection. He looked into his eyes and then stepped away and opened the glass door and stepped into the shower, pulling the door shut behind him.

Godfrey closed his eyes momentarily and by the time he opened them, Miracle was standing there, staring at him. He drew in a nervous breath and held it, trying to focus on his eyes and no where else. He watched him turn and head into the shower and then looked down and pulled his own swimming trunks off and joined Miracle in the shower.

Miracle heard Godfrey get in and he turned around. "So, how is it?"

"What do you think?"

Miracle looked down and clearly saw the arousal by the way his cock had risen and hardened. He grinned, his own had done the same. He looked up at him.

"It's uncontrollable." Godfrey said nervously.

"I know..." Miracle stepped back, letting the hot water pour down on him.

He stared at Miracle. "So, what are the plans?"

"I'd love...for this vacation to never end. You know, my favorite movie...is Thelma and Louise. So, if I could just jump in a car with you...and go, and never look back, I would." Miracle shook his head. "Unfortunately, if we spend the night, Cheston will probably swear up and down that we slept together."

He listened to Miracle and hinted a half smile. "That's a nice thought." He then frowned a moment later when Cheston was mentioned. "I don't want to let you go back to him. After what he did, how he made you feel about yourself, what he made you say about yourself, how he treated you. I just...I don't want to let you go back." He shook his head.

Miracle nodded and smiled as he stepped closer. "That's sweet." He took Godfrey's hands and pulled him forward, under the water.

Given that he was pulled closer, it was inevitable that they would touch each other due to the arousal. And when it happened, Godfrey looked down and then he gasped and held his breath and looked up at Miracle. "It's going to happen." He said with the released breath.

Miracle didn't look, instead, he simply ran his hands up Godfrey's chest as he watched the water pour over him. "This is a big test." Miracle said, his eyes shifted up to look into his eyes. "One that..might be really worth passing."

"Why do you say that? I mean, of course, because of Cheston."

"Well, this test is a huge tease, you know that. If...we get through...and nothing happens, even if we come so close, if sometime in the future, it finally happens, the wait would be worth it." Miracle grinned. "It's kind of like a little torture...with a big reward, you come so close, then nothing, maybe it happens again, then nothing...and each time, you crave it more, you need it more..."

Miracle's hand then ran up his neck and around the back of his head. "And then...when it happens again, you drag it out, like usual, but then, you give in, and you've gotten so close and cut yourself off for so long, when you finally have it, oh...it's sweet, like a lollipop, with the sweet... gum in the center, you can't get to it fast enough."

Godfrey let out a breath and pushed Miracle forward and against the shower wall as he pressed his body against Miracle's, his cock against Miracle's. "You can't do that..." His hand moved down and ran over Miracle's thigh, his body begging him to lift Miracle up and take him, right then and there.

Miracle fell back and hit the wall and he grinned. "I can...and I did." His hand went from the back of Godfrey's head and fingers trailed down along his jawline. "Don't give in, trust me."

"You might not leave me a choice." He looked down. "You...I had no idea...you could take a person, nervous...like me...and just, make me want to take you."

Miracle stared up at him. "So real confidence exists in there." Miracle grinned and slipped out from between him and the wall. "I passed the test." He slid the door open and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel from the shelf.

Godfrey felt Miracle slide against him and then turned around and leaned slightly out of the shower door, his eyes widened. "What? You do this to me...and...you just...get out?"

Miracle wrapped himself up in the overly large towel, pulling it over his shoulders. "The idea was to pass. One of us had to do it." He looked down. "Part of me...actually hoped it would of been you." He turned around and walked out of the bathroom.

Godfrey stood there, devastated by the sadness that he saw as Miracle walked out. "Miracle..." He called out and then quickly turned off the shower and grabbed a matching large towel and wrapped himself up, finding that it didn't exactly cover him like a robe as it did with Miracle, being that he was bigger. He shook his head and tied it around his waist as he took off after him.

Miracle had sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. "I shouldn't blame you, I was completely antagonizing you. It wasn't fair."

"You wanted to know...if I could respect you no matter what you threw at me." He said as he walked over and sat next to Miracle. "I am so sorry, Miracle...when it comes to you, when I met you, of course, you were attractive, you are attractive, and when I saw all of you, yes...you are beautiful. But, when it comes to you, I hadn't even thought about sex until now."

Miracle looked over at him. "Really? You never thought about it? Not even once?"

"Not until now, and yeah, I would love to...make love to you, that's what I would call it...when it comes to you. But, I know...the situation, and I respect your position. I just wish so badly that, you wouldn't go back to him, not for myself, but because you don't deserve what he did."

Miracle nodded. "I like you so much, you've never pushed. And the way you got so angry, I mean, no one has gotten or been angry and comforted me at the same time, I never felt anything like that. It was so...passionate." Miracle sighed.

"I want to tell you something." He looked at Miracle. "My mind...was screaming for me to pick you up in the shower and take you, the second my hand went to your thigh, I wanted to grab the other and...go for it. But...you mean so much more than that, I just couldn't bring myself to." He looked down. "And to comment on that, hearing you talk about yourself like that did make me angry, like a rage inside."

Miracle slowly smiled. "Really? All my teasing, I gave you the best I had...and you came that close..." He looked towards the floor. "But you cared enough...not to."

He nodded. "That's right, I was at the edge, but you meant so much more, and I knew you wanted us to pass that test."

He smiled and looked up at Godfrey and wrapped his arms around him, shoving him back as he hugged him, climbing ontop of him, straddling his waist. "You're the best."

He fell back and smiled, looking up at Miracle. "I try." He reached up and stroked Miracle's cheek with the back of his fingers and leaned up, softly kissing him. "We should get dressed."

Miracle opened his eyes after the brief kiss and nodded. "Yeah, we probably should."

Cheston paces his living room as Erica and Jeremy walked in, having been let in by George, the door man, and the couple headed into the living room.

"So? What's going on?" Erica waved her arms out slightly.

"It's been like six hours since I talked to him." Cheston looked at Erica and Jeremy. "I called at around two something this after noon." He then forced a sarcastic smile. "Guess what, though? I found out he's with a guy. No surprise right? Guess they plan to spend the night together."

Erica shook her head. "No, if he remembers, the annual carnival comes to town this time, he probably just wanted to go to it. And who wants to go to one in the day time? He loved the lights when he was a child. He was fascinated by them when we took him on the Ferris wheel."

"Really?" Cheston looked at Erica. "You think that's all it is?" He asked with a hopeful tone.

"I'm pretty sure of it, we took him every single year, well since he was big enough to be held on it, we didn't take him on it as a tiny baby or anything. I'm pretty sure at four and five, he would remember it." She nodded.

Jeremy nodded in agreement. "He will probably come back tonight."

Cheston scratched his head, pacing frantically. "And if he don't? I will have to wonder if they slept together. Does he lie? I mean, when he cheats? Does he lie about it? Did he lie to Jaemin?"

Jeremy's eyebrows lifted and he looked at Erica. "You knew him."

Erica's eyes widened. "Uh...I think Jaemin knew everything Miracle did. But, just...don't give me full credibility on that, Mr. Attorney...they were teenagers, parents don't know everything."

Cheston sat on the couch and sighed. "I hope he comes back. What did I do wrong?" He looked at Jeremy, then realized that Erica knew more than he did, so his eyes shifted to her.

Erica looked at Cheston and she walked over and sat beside him. "Awe...well you did plenty wrong."

Jeremy grinned briefly and tried not to laugh. "She...can be brutally honest when she wants to be, you did kind of do wrong."

Cheston looked up. "Thanks, I know." He said to Jeremy, and then he looked at Erica. "We got by that, I thought you guys did too."

"We did." Erica said. "When Miracle has a mood swing...I have a mood swing." Her hand moved to her chest. "It's because I love him that much."

Jeremy snorted a laugh at how Erica expressed herself and brought a hand up to cover his nose and mouth.

Erica looked over at Jeremy and glared. "Have something to say?"

Jeremy grinned beneath his hand and shook his head.

Cheston sat back in the couch and crossed his arms. "Well, it will take them a whole eight hours to drive back here from Pacifica, they likely didn't drive the whole way going there, Miracle withdrew money in Reno. So even if they do leave tonight, they will probably stop in Reno, just as they did going there." He looked up. "So do you guys mind spending the night? I really want this intervention to happen when he gets back."

"We could..." Jeremy trailed off, his arm falling to his lap from where he had covered his face.

"But, don't you want the chance to confront him alone first?" Erica asked.

"Well, assuming they get their monies worth, they check out at eleven, like most hotels, grab something to eat and finish the trip. In that time, I can have breakfast in bed prepared for you both in the guest room, and you will both have plenty of time to get ready. I'll have my time with Miracle, then quietly send George up to get you."

Cheston then grew quiet, his mind boiling with more plans surrounding this intervention, though he hadn't even begun to consider the idea of how this might turn out should this friend arrive with him, though he found that to be doubtful.

Godfrey smiled as he walked hand in hand with Miracle across the gravel lot where all the cars were parked, looking at the carnival up ahead. "Well, I had fun today, and I'm really happy, we proved him wrong."

Miracle smiled. "We did." He looked down and stepped over a wooden beam planted in the ground and headed closer to the carnival. "Unfortunately, I underestimated the idea of not spending the night with you. It's an eight hour drive, realistically that is a difficult one to pull off unless you are very use to traveling. I mean if I had brought the private jet..."

"Well, now that the secret is out, couldn't you just call for it?" Godfrey asked. "Not that I'm exactly in a hurry."

"I could, but I don't know a whole lot about the thing, could have cameras on it, I know you are really into keeping to yourself, and...plus, your car would be stranded here." Miracle laughed. "So, we'll probably just stop in Reno again, repeat the process."

"Good points." Godfrey laughed and looked up. "I won't complain about it. I won't exactly be coming with you to the house, it's better I don't, even though I think the guy deserves a punch in the face."

"Yeah." Miracle nodded. "It's better that you don't." Miracle let Godfrey's hand go and suddenly jumped forward and spun in front of him. "But! That's tomorrow's drama. Now...I was real young when I came here, so I don't remember much, but, I know what coming to carnivals are like...and there is a rule."

Godfrey looked up in surprise and then laughed. "What rule?"

Miracle grinned and grabbed his hand and walked further before stopping at a game booth. "You never go to one without winning your date a bear to carry around." He softly laughed and dug into his pocket and handed him some money.

"Oh, that one!" He nodded and took the money and looked at the man. "Going for it." He paid the man and was handed three darts. "I'm nervous."

"Why?" Miracle asked, concerned by how he looked.

"I guess...performance anxiety, there's so many people around." He said.

Miracle lightly rubbed his back. "It's okay...just go for it. No one cares, they are to busy with themselves."

Godfrey nodded and threw the first dart and missed hitting any balloons. He frowned, feeling discouraged. He swallowed and then threw the second dart, again, he missed and started to feel that rage building inside of him.

The man that ran the game watched the couple, he was rather sympathetic. "Tell you what, hit the striped balloon and you get any prize here, any pick." He smiled.

Godfrey closed his eyes and took a deep breath, causing his trembling to stop. "Step back..." He said in that same firm tone, needing space.

Miracle stared at Godfrey, surprised at how strongly he felt about making this happen for him. He took a step back and his eyebrows lifted, a hopeful expression appeared.

Godfrey opened his eyes and his gaze zeroed in on the striped balloon and he stared at it and it was as if his attention hyper focused on it as he lifted his arm and threw the dart. He hit the balloon and it busted, the dart hit the board and stuck there.

Miracle grinned. "You did it!" He moved over and wrapped his arms around Godfrey from behind.

He felt Miracle's arms and a smile appeared, yet he looked like he was in disbelief, and he was. "I did it?"

"Pick any prize you want." The man shook his head and smiled, happy for the couple.

He breathed heavily, still nervous from the tense emotions he felt. He turned around and looked at Miracle. "Get the bear."

Miracle smiled up at him. "The bears traditional, I would...if I didn't see...that Mickey Mouse...that I want." He looked at the man and pointed up. "The Mickey Mouse."

Godfrey grinned. "So long as you're happy." He said, watching the man grab the stuffed Mickey Mouse and he handed it over to Miracle.

Miracle hugged the stuffed prize to his chest. "Now the Ferris wheel. So we can see everything!" He took Godfrey's hand and lead him away from the game stand.

"I was so scared I wouldn't be able to do it." He followed after Miracle and softly laughed.

He stopped in line for the ride and turned to look at Godfrey. "You're still reeling from those emotions. I love...that you get so intense...for me."

His eyes shifted down to look into Miracle's. "You bring it out, I don't know how, but you do." He smiled. "Miracle, I know we swore we would never, and you don't have to, I understand where you are, but I have to say it, I can't hold it in. I love you..."

Miracle stared into Godfrey's eyes as he heard those words and his eyes began to water with tears and his mouth opened to speak but he was interrupted.

"Your turn." The man said, having a seat ready for them.

Miracle stared at Godfrey for a second longer and then smiled. "Our turn." He looked at the man and moved up the steps and climbed into the seat.

Godfrey nodded, he was okay with the words not being returned, he knew it was complicated for Miracle. He followed after him and climbed into the seat right next to him. The man fastened them in and moments later, the ride started.

"Sorry...we got interrupted." Miracle said.

"No." He looked at Miracle and brought a finger to his lips. "It was meant to take the pressure away, just let that be what it was." He smiled and looked out. "And watch the lights."

Miracle nodded, feeling Godfrey's finger pull away from his lips and he looked around and slowly smiled. "I remember being here, we would ride twice, so my parents could take turns holding me. Once when we got here, and once before we left. It was like a world of magical lights..."

Godfrey slowly nodded and wrapped an arm over Miracle's shoulders and pulled him close and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Well, tonight, I'm honored to get to hold you."

"Don't make me cry..." Miracle smiled.

"So happy, you cry?" Godfrey asked.

"Exactly." Miracle nodded.

Rayne sighed and almost wanted to drop the brush because her arms were getting tired from painting the walls of the building black, now that they had acquired a building for their shop. "Mysti should fucking be here helping me."

"Woah, pregnant girl shouldn't be on the step ladder."

Rayne twisted at the waist and her eyes widened when she saw Remi standing there, it was her ex from high school, she hadn't seen him since then, since he took off. "Wow." She stepped down and tossed the brush on the lid of paint. "You take off, and come storming in here, knowing where I'm at...and already know the business. Who told you? Mysti, who should be here helping me do this, or was it Susan?"

"Susan, last place I remember you living." Remi grinned and walked around the counter. "So, you're finally doing it, opening up that shop you always wanted."

Rayne crossed her arms and nodded. "Yep, but Mysti sure doesn't seem excited or she would be in here helping me paint these walls."

"Yeah, so you wouldn't be on the step ladder and risk falling and killing the baby." Remi grinned. "Surrogacy, is that how you're paying for it?"

"No, actually we saved the money, I did that to terrorize Susan. Her ex boyfriend was a blank shooter, said he wanted to do his part, really an excuse to cheat, if you ask me, went out and scouted a guy, romanced him, and was going to trick him into giving up his sperm under the belief they were having the baby together."

Remi's eyebrows lifted. "So...instead, you took his sperm? Poor guy!"

"Well, he found out the truth." Rayne shrugged. "So instead of their plan failing, I thought it'd be all the more sweeter than to have it happen, just not for them."

"So...the guy still wanted a baby?"

"No, actually, he never wanted the baby to begin with, but Susan's boyfriend wouldn't shut up and..." Rayne shook her head. "It's complicated, but it's happening, and he gave me the money back to open the shop."

"So...you made the guy have the baby?" Remi laughed. "Wow, this guy must be a push over, and you're just so mean, like always."

"At first he didn't, honestly I don't know how he feels, I think he's warming up to the idea. He actually got back together with the guy, they did a quickie marriage, and by fate, it just happened to fall on his birthday, though now we suspect he's cheating on the guy." Rayne sighed and walked over to the fold out table she had in the middle of the room.

"I don't think I know who's more screwed up, the guy that shoots blanks, or the guy that got you pregnant." Remi scratched his head.

Rayne sat down in a black fold out chair and crossed one leg over the other and laughed. "Who are we to judge? We're screwed up. Unless you've changed, you don't look any different though."

"A lot of time has passed." He walked over and sat down across the table from her. "Obviously."

Rayne looked over at him. "So, what have you done since high school? I skipped graduation, I wasn't wearing a cap and gown, told them to mail my diploma." She laughed.

Remi shared in her laughter. "They had to mail mine to my parents, I took off before that, told them I didn't know where I would be. Just got on my motorcycle, looked at my options, east had more ground to cover, so I went."

"Could of stole a yacht, went to Hawaii." Rayne reached into the cooler and grabbed a coke and screwed the top off and took a skip.

"No way, so not my scene. I went to Texas, hustled people for their money in pool. Can't say they all gambled fairly, got some fights started. Bar brawls can be fun." Remi looked up at the ceiling. "Then Katrina, I drove right into New Orleans when that was coming, I said I was going to face her right into the eye...the calm of the storm."

"Okay, now you're lying. You did not drive into Katrina and roam New Orleans in the storm." Rayne rolled her eyes.

"Okay, you got me." Remi laughed. "It was a fun idea, but the safety hazard was a bit too close to the edge."

"So where did you go?" Rayne asked.

"I thought about at least going through there, went to Oklahoma instead, made my way to Missouri."

"You probably have way to many stories to tell." Rayne looked at her phone. "Though, some time today, I actually have to attend an intervention." She looked down. "For Anna Marie's daddy."

Remi's eyebrows lifted. "You named the baby?"

"No, I'm being sarcastic." She grinned. "You're the one who went to Texas." She looked up and laughed. "It's how I'd picture a pregnant woman from there. If she wasn't a surrogate. Hell I don't even know the gender yet, to early for that.

Remi grinned, containing his laughter as he leaned across the table and looked at Rayne's stomach. "Hello, Anna Marie..."

"Shut up." Rayne placed her hand at the top of his head and shoved him back, laughing.

Miracle sat in the passenger side and stared out the window and then looked at his phone. "It said a subway was supposed to be right here."

Godfrey rolled his eyes. "That's Google maps for you." He grabbed Miracle's phone. "Hell, Tonopah barely had any restaurants to begin with..." He scrolled with his thumb and zoomed in. "And the next town...hell, what is it good for? It has nothing." He handed the phone back to Miracle. "Breakfast in Reno...and lunch denied."

"Hey, at least you can eat at home, I'm pretty sure lunch isn't happening at my house." Miracle said.

Godfrey frowned and opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but then he held back and looked at the road in front of them. "Doesn't Nevada just suck? If you don't live in Vegas or Reno...you live no where..."

"At least on the east coast...from New York to Philly...maybe further...city never stops." Miracle started to laugh.

Godfrey let go of the break and pressed the accelerator as the car went into motion again, speeding down the lonely desert high way. "Do you ever miss it there? New York?"

"I did, when Jaemin was alive...when I thought going back there would fix everything." Miracle shook his head. "Now, it's just another place to me, I don't think after this, I'd ever want to live in the same place twice. If I ever left Nevada, like New York, I'd never go back."

"So that knocks off, how many states?" He asked Miracle.

"Uh...New York, West Virginia, Colorado...and Nevada." Miracle grinned and looked at Godfrey. "That still leaves forty seven to choose from."

Godfrey laughed. "So what, you'd just throw a dart at the map, see where it lands?"

"Well, not to make you feel bad, if I wanted to pick a state, I could nail it on the map. A Chinese knife thrower taught me how to throw knives at the circus once. So I'd definitely have to close my eyes."

Godfrey shook his head. "Doesn't make me feel bad, actually, I wish you had told me. I'd of challenged you to take out every single balloon." He smiled. "I would like to see you do it...some time."

"Well, after Cheston's dad tried to push me off the roof, when he made bail, he got in the house and made the staff prepare lunch. I kinda...threw my steak knife at his head, missed by several inches and it nailed the wall. He moved though, it would have flew much closer, I was aiming to miss, he ruined the effect." Miracle explained.

Godfrey's eyes widened and then he laughed. "Okay, that's funny. Well, obviously not the pushing you off the roof part."

"Well, that's how I got the scar, my mom tried to shoot him, he used me as a shield." Miracle looked over. "You did notice there wasn't a scar, right? The treatments worked."

"I did notice." He smiled. "I'm really glad."

"Me too, it was really upsetting for me, at first. Cheston and I were going to sleep together and...I freaked about not wanting him to see it. We kinda argued, he said I was vain, then we talked about starting the treatments."

Godfrey shook his head. "The guys a jerk. Did he make you do it anyway? Have sex? Like..did he make you feel so bad..."

"No..." Miracle shook his head. "He said some horrible stuff, he was a real jerk, it was the first time he'd ever been cruel to me, but he apologized." He took a deep breath. "But that's how it goes, right? They get pissed, say a bunch of crap, and then you melt when they're sorry."

"You're just forgiving." Godfrey looked down for a second in thought. "I hope you always stay that way, some things...are worth forgiving, when you look at everything."

Miracle looked over at Godfrey. "Are you defending him?" He grinned.

"No, he was a jerk, I wish I could keep you away, take you to some land far away." He shook his head. "Rather...I was defending myself, that's all I'm going to say for now. You won't understand...but later, next time we get the chance, you will. Can you just accept that, for now?"

Miracle stared at Godfrey curiously, wondering what he was talking about. "Yeah, I guess I can. It just...kind of scares me a little, everything with us is so...perfect."

"It still could be, that will depend on you." Godfrey frowned. "But know this, it would devastate me...if it destroyed everything."

Miracle reached over and took his hand. "Well, you aren't going to tell me now, so until you do, lets just...live in the moment." He smiled and lightly squeezed his hand.

Godfrey managed the hint of a smile and looked at Miracle. "We should, because it might be all I have left...of you, with you..." His breathing grew heavier and tears fell down his face.

Miracle looked up. "Woah...pull the car over."

He looked up and pulled the car over onto the shoulder of the road and shifted the gear into park.

Miracle reached up and wiped the tears from his face. "Why don't you just tell me? Get this all off your chest."

"I can't." He shook his head. "We're almost home, you are going to have so much to deal with, so much on your plate, I can't put it on you right now." He leaned forward and rested his forehead against the steering wheel, shaking as he softly cried.

Miracle rubbed his back. "I don't think I could hate you. And it kills me to see you so afraid and so hurt...at the idea, it just shows me how much you really do care."

"I do, with all my heart, all my being." He gasped out and shut his eyes tightly. "Miracle...if only I could tell you now, tell you just one little bit of it...but it has to wait."

"Okay, well come over here, and I'll take over the driving for a little while." Miracle said, unfastening his seat belt as Godfrey nodded and moved to get out of the car so that they could switch places.

Miracle walked into the house and over to the opening of the foyer to see Cheston sitting on the couch. He sighed and waited to hear what he would have to say.

Cheston heard the door shut, the foot steps, and when they stopped, he lifted his head to look at Miracle and then stood up. He walked around the coffee table and a sarcastic grin appeared. "Well, look who finally makes it home. You know you've made it one hell of a wait for me, I've literally done nothing else, just waited for you to walk through that door."

Miracle heard the sarcasm in his voice and crossed his arms and looked down and off to the side. "I told you, we can be serious, or I can leave again."

Cheston nodded. "Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. So...you didn't bring your friend?"

"This is between us." Miracle looked up at him. "He didn't need to be in our mess. He was so upset about me coming home, not for any other reason, other than the fact that he felt you were going to be cruel to me."

"I didn't plan to be cruel to you. The phone thing was harsh, it was mean and nasty, I was angry. But, Miracle...I don't know how else to deal with you. Every guy you've been with has tried to treat you right, Jaemin included...and all of them got stomped on and left on the ground, and then kicked before they could even get back up. So...I just thought, maybe if I were just as twisted, maybe even more so, maybe it would have some kind of different reaction, it was really unconventional."

Miracle slowly nodded and stepped down, out of the foyer and into the living room. "That's true." He said.

"And being twisted didn't work either, so...in all honesty, I don't know how to handle you, I don't know how to be with you. I don't know how to deal with you. I know that I'm not going to be stomped on like trash and then kicked when I'm down."

Miracle looked up at Cheston. "I really am that horrible. He thought you were being cruel." He shook his head. "I can't say it's cruel...just telling me the truth."

Cheston stepped closer. "It doesn't have to be that way. You can't change your past, but now...right now, you have the power to make yourself into who ever you want to be."

"How do you have power...when you feel powerless?" Miracle felt Cheston's hands on his shoulders, his head slightly tilted to the side and down towards the floor.

"You choose to be powerless. You were powerless when you were with David, after that...you had the opportunity to take yourself back, but you didn't, and you still don't, but you could, at any second, even if it feels like you can't, even if that feeling seems like the strongest feeling in the world."

"And what if I'm not strong?" Miracle looked up at him. "You can't say I can build strength in a split second, that doesn't happen."

"Unfortunately..no, it doesn't. You were taught to depend, and to follow, and to...do what you were taught to do to get what you needed and wanted the most. But look at that, you learned that wasn't true, and..eventually...you stopped. We did it the right way, forget my scheme for just a second, I did really fall for you, imagine that I had fallen for you from the actual beginning, it would of been the right way."

"But it doesn't change why I...why...I crave different people, why..."

"Shh..." Cheston brought a finger to Miracle's lips. "I have a theory, and I want you to tell me what you think. What if...it's because...you felt trapped by David, so...other people, they become an escape?"

Miracle thought about it and slowly shrugged. "Maybe, but I really don't know why. I hate not knowing why. I mean, I can express all the feelings that happen when it happens and it feels like why...but I don't think it's really...why."

"So, what do I need to do? Only you can tell me that." Cheston asked.

Miracle looked up at him. "Don't do what Jaemin did, don't hang on. Maybe...I just wasn't meant for forever love."

Cheston looked completely heart broken as he stared at Miracle and he shook his head. "No, I don't believe that. There isn't a person in this world not meant for love."

"My friend needs me, he wants to see me later." Miracle looked down. "What would you say about that?"

Cheston thought about it. "Miracle, the only thing my mind can even process right now is you...and how to make us work. From the moment you walked through that door, I don't think my mind has room for anything else, much less anger or jealousy. I guess that's part of the process, letting those things go, I just don't know how I'm supposed to understand the secrecy of...this great special secret friendship of yours."

"It's not like a conspiracy." Miracle looked up. "He's sensitive around people, he...well, he's isolated himself for a really long time and...well, I make him feel good about himself again."

Cheston managed a brief hint of a smile. "Naturally, I couldn't imagine a person who you couldn't touch so beautifully."

"Yeah, well...that's all that it is. No deep dark secret. He's just a guy, alone, scared, shy...and he says that I make him human again." He looked up at Cheston. "He told me he loved me, he even said that I didn't have to say it back, that he understands my life, and I didn't say it back. He just...we're special to each other, when I'm with him, it's like being with another me, someone else who's lost in the world, and then he has this other side, where he suddenly grows up and gets so angry and filled with rage when something doesn't go right for me, and then he gets so protective and...it's so passionate. It's like the deepest intimacy a friendship could have."

Cheston listened to Miracle. "Really? You consider him just a friend? Because if that is the case, it sounds like a really...beautiful friendship. And..I guess I'd have to understand if he is to afraid to come and meet me. I'm sorry for assuming it was shady. As your husband, I'm supposed to trust you, honor you, in every way, honor your word."

Miracle nodded. "Truth be told, I do love him, we didn't kiss for nothing. But after that phone call, we decided, I decided, we had to do everything to prove you wrong."

Cheston sniffled and took a deep breath and sighed, his head shifted down as his arms crossed. "So..you do love him." He closed his eyes. "Miracle, I'm not giving up, not yet, I want to explore this with you, this issue, not that I'm saying your special friendship is an issue...but the fact that you stray. I scammed you, so I can live with some betrayal myself, and have some forgiveness, as you gave me. But I want to work on this with you."

Miracle slowly nodded. "Okay then." He looked up. "So, is it okay if I go see what's wrong with him? He was upset."

"So long as you're back for dinner, I want to have a dinner ready for us." Cheston said.

"Okay." Miracle nodded and turned around to head out the door again.

Miracle sat on the hood of his car at The Spot, watching the sunset over the strip when he turned to see Godfrey pulling up and parking near his car.

Godfrey shut his car off and moments later, he found himself walking around and shifting up to sit next to Miracle. "Good spot, private...and...you can run away from me, if you want to." He looked down. "I hope more than anything that you don't."

Miracle looked over at him. "What could you tell me that would make me run away?"

"If you only knew." He looked at Miracle. "First, how did things go with Cheston?"

Miracle looked out at the strip. "Oh, well first he started screaming at me, I screamed back, then I slapped him, and he pushed me down, so I threw a lamp, he ducked, it busted the window and went outside, the neighbor seen it and called the cops. While they were on the way, I took the fire poker and slammed it through the television screen, he grabbed me and threw me at the couch...."

Godfrey slowly started to grin. "You're being sarcastic, so I guess it wasn't that bad."

Miracle grinned for only a moment and nodded. "Yeah, well, he basically told me that every decent boyfriend I had, I pretty much knocked them down and kicked them while they were still on the ground." He looked at Godfrey. "Don't get mad, honestly...it was the truth, and I can take my truth's just as easily as I can take a punch to the face or survive a beating, both of which I've done." Miracle shrugged. "He wants to work on it with me, as for our friendship, he said he couldn't even process anger or jealousy and that he was going to trust me, and basically that he wanted to work on my issue."

Godfrey nodded. "Sounds like a very different guy than what I heard."

"He was mad on the phone." Miracle said. "To be honest, if we don't work out, I would probably be with you." He looked over at Godfrey. "But then...his issue would be your issue. I've always had issues with straying, I've shown a lot of restraint with you for Cheston, in the past, I didn't bother or care to do that, I just surrendered to my feelings. If I were to ever be with you...don't ever let me do that. You will probably wonder how to stop me, as I'm sure he is now, just...figure it out, as much as it is to ask."

Godfrey listened to Miracle and shook his head. "Trust me, when you hear what I have to tell you, well, you won't want to be with me, even if the day were to come that hell freezes over, I know that, even though I hope it to not be true, it will be true."

Miracle looked at him. "I can't imagine anything bad about you that would make me hate you so horribly."

Godfrey slid off the car and looked out at the strip and took a deep breath before turning around to look at Miracle, his finger tips pressed together. "I just, all that I ask, is that you hear me out, trust me, and don't freak out. Everything that we have had since the night we met, all of it has been the truth, I have been the truth to you, every little bit. It's just that...there are things I've neglected to tell you, there aren't any lies, just...things not told."

Miracle slowly nodded. "So...there are secrets." He lifted his head and lowered it in one last single slow nod. "I can handle that, I'm not morally perfect. I'll hear you out."

"First, none of this was about you. It wasn't, you were just a person in the picture, someone caught in the middle, kind of like someone else I knew, someone else just caught in the middle of something that really should of never been. And because of that, you had to be included, and at first, I was really dehumanized and lacked a sense of care for anything...or anyone. I had become who I had created."

Miracle stared at Godfrey and it immediately became obvious. "Rumor?"

Godfrey closed his eyes in shame and nodded. "The physical diary, did you destroy it?"

Miracle slowly nodded. "Yeah, I burnt it, why?" He asked, being objective as he had promised to be through out this conversation.

"Good." He said. "Cheston had photo copied the entire thing onto his computer, I went in and destroyed it beyond repair, but I took a copy for myself, I guess a little part of me was curious...about you. And I read it, eventually all of it..."

"Cheston told me all of this, it was one of the three options." Miracle said, his eyes shut.

"Right." Godfrey looked at Miracle. "When I read it, I struggled with the idea of meeting you. I decided to do it...and the more time we spent together, the more my feelings started to come back, and it was true when I told you, I started to feel like a human again, I started to become me...Rumor died as I was reborn...all because of you, for you."

Miracle opened his eyes and he looked at him.

"I destroyed my copy of the diary, beyond repair, I had decided regardless of what Cheston decided, he would go down anyway, but then...the more time I spent with you, the less important it all seemed...and then I stopped being Rumor altogether."

Miracle nodded. "You did, I started to feel like Rumor was warming up to me, it was like he was doing these little things to help me, like somewhere deep down, he cared. But it was such a common reaction, for men to...fall for me, and there was so much else going on, I didn't give it a lot of thought, I didn't know him, and even still, he was an enemy."

Godfrey nodded. "Right." He walked closer to Miracle. "And then I came to care so much, there wasn't time for Rumor anymore, I was reborn because of you and I had to be me because I had to be close to you for as much as I possibly could, every minute, every second, it all counted."

Miracle stared at him with a troubled expression. "Are you also the one that had the boyfriend that died? Cheston's friends beat him and he went into a seizure, and Cheston just stood there, promised to call an ambulance and ran? But, you know he never did, because one never came."

Godfrey slowly nodded. "Oliver...or Ollie as he liked to be called. It's not a replacement thing, you two are quite different, but the one way you are both alike is that...you have this unique special quality that you can't quite put a name on. He made me feel complete, and I died on the inside when I watched him die in front of me. I didn't even think to check for his phone until it was too late. I feel incredibly stupid for that. But, you? Well, you brought me back to life."

Miracle slowly nodded. "And so after that night?"

"I swore revenge, I disappeared and I swore to become the greatest hacker that I ever could be. Why? Because, knowledge is power. I could hurt them in so many ways and they couldn't touch me, they wouldn't even know who I was. Cheston was my main goal...because he did the worst of it all, he watched and then he ran. I read your diary, what was the worst, the guys that raped you and beat you? Or that guy that stood there and watched?"

Miracle listened to Godfrey as he explained and then lead the topic to his gang rape. "To be honest? I remember staring right at Brian...and his face, I remember the clearest."

"You want to know why? Because he was in a moment of choice, help or hurt, yet he made the choice to simply save himself, but he knew it was wrong, and you know he wanted to help, he just didn't." Godfrey shook his head.

Miracle grew silent.

Godfrey sighed and turned around and walked over to Miracle and placed his hands on the hood of the car at each side of Miracle's legs and leaned forward with a pleading, apologetic, and begging expression. "Can you find it...anywhere in your heart, in your loving, giving, beautiful heart, to forgive me?"