Trigger The Years Past - 20. Chapter 20: Fake Smiles

Rayne grinned as she pulled up along the curb in front of Susan's house. "Alright, we're here."

Miracle looked over at her. "Can I assume by your rare show of happiness...that what I'm thinking, you know what I'm thinking and that what I'm thinking is...safe to assume to be correct?"

Rayne looked at Miracle and grinned. "I love your way with words, funny confusing yet it makes sense. Lets go!" She got out of the car along with Miracle and headed for the house.

Miracle sighed and followed Rayne once she reached the passenger side of the car and waited when she knocked on the door and his eyebrows lifted when Susan answered the door.

"Rayne? Miracle?" Susan looked between them, confused. "What..."

"Shut up and let us in." Rayne said.

Susan held her hands up and turned around, walking away from the door. "Cheston, we got company."

Cheston turned away from the desk where his laptop was and looked over when Rayne and Miracle walked in. "What's going on?"

Rayne walked in, a sinister laughter rang forth from her vocal chords, it sounded rather natural though, and some might find that a little scary. She reached into her purse and pulled out a pregnancy test and when Susan sat on the couch, she tossed it in her lap.

Susan's eyes widened when a pregnancy test landed in her lap. Cheston's eyebrows lifted and Susan picked it up to look at the results.

"I was hoping you could toss that in your trash, I ran out of trash bags, we were on our way to get some...but I was just to giddy, had to share the news."

"What does it say?" Cheston looked at Susan.

"It's positive." Susan tossed it on the coffee table.

Cheston looked up. "Wait, Rayne surrogated Miracle's baby?" He looked over at Miracle.

Miracle looked back at Cheston and shrugged. "You wanted me to have a kid, now there will be one. Happy?"

Rayne laughed again. "Poor Susie." She sat down beside her. "I'm sorry..." She wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You guys just spent to much time bitching...and I guess Miracle figured my genes would mesh better with his." She looked over at Cheston. "I am hotter, you picked the wrong cousin."

Cheston looked at Rayne and shook his head. "What did you do? Miracle was way to hesitant to even have a kid...and it was about more than just Susan."

Rayne looked over at Miracle. "What did I do? Did I do anything?"

"She went through the tattoo shop money to go through the procedures, I promised Mysti I would fund it, so I figured...the least I could do was provide a share...financially and otherwise."

Susan stood up and yanked away from Rayne and turned around. "You don't even want a baby! You did this to get back at me!"

Rayne laughed. "So what if I did?" She leaned against the arm rest. "I did it...and it's happened."

Susan shook her head. "Doesn't mean he still won't do it for us..."

"Really?" Rayne's eyebrows lifted. "You think Miracle is going to pop out two babies? Especially after your dirty handed away of trying to make him do it? At least I was straight forward, told him my deal, let him decide."

Miracle looked at Rayne, knowing that was far from the truth, still, her straight forwardness counted for much more than the underhanded scheme run over him by Cheston and Susan.

"Well I wonder what Mysti will think when she finds out you risked the shop money and would of lost it if it had not been for Miracle saving your ass!" Susan screamed.

"Mysti won't believe a damn thing you say, I already told her what you and Cheston tried to do to Miracle. What she knows now is that I provided him a way for a child, an honest way, the right way." Rayne stood up and walked around Susan. "So...I'll let you, and your sterile boyfriend be...while Miracle and I go and celebrate."

Cheston frowned, listening to Rayne and Susan go back and forth before Rayne started to tug Miracle out of the house. "Wait, I want to speak to Miracle alone."

Rayne stopped and looked at Miracle. "You want to give him the time of day?"

Miracle looked over at Cheston and then he looked at Rayne. "Just wait for me at the car."

"Could you uh...go out onto the porch, please? Just a minute." Cheston stepped over to Susan.

"Whatever." Susan shook her head and followed Rayne outside, stopping on the porch and she watched Rayne shoot her the middle finger as she headed for her car.

Cheston waited until it was clear and then he took Miracle's hand and lead him off into the hall. "What the hell?"

Miracle looked up at Cheston. "If you really meant it, if you just want the baby for us, does it matter who the surrogate is? Now we have one, a cooperative one, that's if I even bother to forgive you. Now...if you have a problem with that, and for some reason it's still specifically supposed to be Susan...I'd question why."

Cheston sighed. "The only issue I have...is that it's Rayne. That is Rayne, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes...come on."

"Shes not going to do drugs...and my mom smoked with me, I'm really defective from it, right?" Miracle shook his head. "So, if Rayne didn't do any of those things, would you have a problem with her?"

"No." Cheston shook his head.

"Well, not like it matters now anyway." Miracle then looked down and took the ring off and grabbed Cheston's hand and placed the ring in his palm, closing his fingers over it. "None of it matters..." He stared at Cheston and the moment lingered for only seconds longer and then he turned around and left him there.

Cheston stared down at his hand and then looked up. "Miracle, wait. Miracle...you can't be alone.." He started to follow Miracle, but once he was out the door, he was forced to stop and a sigh escaped.

Miracle settled in the passenger seat. "Okay, so it's done. Does the log get cleared now?"

Rayne looked at Miracle. "There's a little hitch. I know I said I was the moderator and that only I could access it and stuff, but only a friend of mine knows how to clear it. He generated the code to make it automatically execute the hack command. I know how to do it manually, but he generated the code to make the app work like that, I simply applied the code to update the app."

Miracle's eyebrows lifted. "So we have to go see him?"

Rayne nodded.

Dizon spun around in his computer chair and grinned as Rayne and Miracle walked in and he looked Miracle over. "Better than the picture." He looked over at Rayne.

"The picture?" Miracle asked.

"So I take it you got your job done?" Dizon asked Rayne.

"Yep." She grinned and walked over and sat backwards in the chair.

"So, do I get my part of the deal?" Dizon asked, his gaze drifted over to Miracle. "Do I get him?"

Miracle looked at Dizon and then over at Rayne. "You dealed me out? You pimp."

"Oh please." Rayne laughed. "He just wants a date for Mysti's party. Which..naturally I won't be attending, to much temptation."

"How much does he know?" Miracle asked.

"Nothing, just that you need the user log cleared out." Rayne said.

Dizon grinned and looked at Miracle. "So?"

Miracle slowly shook his head. "Well, I guess we could. But, you clear the log out first."

"Was just waiting." Dizon turned around and smashed the delete button with his middle finger and suddenly the white screen full of text went blank. "Done."

Rayne stood up and smiled. "Why don't I let you two get to know each other, I'm going to treat myself to the kitchen." She patted Miracle on the shoulder and walked out of the room.

Miracle forced a smile and then turned the chair around and sat down. "So..."

"You're uncomfortable." Dizon said. "I guess because this seems so...technical."

"I'm usually one for casualty and fate." Miracle said.

"Well, this is fate, maybe not so much casualty as meeting by some lucky chance, on the street or in a bar...or...however you feel is casualty."

Miracle's eyebrows lifted. "I guess you could say that. This feels set up...but then it was set up."

Dizon nodded and rolled his computer chair closer and leaned forward. "What would I have to do to change that?"

"Well, you're not a bad looking guy, far from it, so that's not really a factor. You kind of remind me of Issac...if you knew him." Miracle said.

"Issac." He said thoughtfully. "I knew him vaguely, through Rayne, we kind of go down a grapevine, so to speak." He took a deep breath. "I guess that's a plus, if you liked him."

"I did." Miracle nodded. "I guess...this will be easier with time." He leaned back. "Exactly what do you want from me?"

Dizon's eyebrows lifted. "That won't help, thinking I want something from you. I merely wanted a chance to receive your attention, now I have it...and whatever happens from here, well, that has yet to be seen."

Miracle slowly nodded. "Well, at this point, it's hard to see this without it being...robotic...or arranged."

"Well, I know where you live, I'll come by and pick you up for the party, until then, lets leave this here to simmer." He grinned and sat back.

"Maybe by then it'll boil." Miracle grinned and shook his head, standing up.

"I'd prefer the burner to catch on fire." Dizon lightly laughed.

Miracle shook his head and walked out of the room. "Rayne, lets go...my awkward date is set!" He called out.

Dizon grinned and stood up and walked to his bed and fell back on it. "Awkward...maybe, but beautiful...and worth it."

Miracle stood at the mirror looking at himself. A pair of black stiletto leather boots and form fitting low rise pants were worn along with a matching V neck vest that was decorated in white rhinestones and had three buttons in the middle that were fastened, leaving his lower back and glittered midriff bare.

"You're really lively." Cody stood in the door way, leaning a shoulder against the door frame.

"Yeah...I kinda promised someone I'd be their escort to a thing." Miracle grinned momentarily and walked over to the bed where a black leather jacket laid.

"Escort?" Cody asked.

"Basically." Miracle sighed and picked up two black leather wrist cuffs. "Yay or nay?"

"Whatever makes you happy." Cody said as he walked into the room and climbed onto the edge of the bed and sat down. "What happened to Kevin?"

"Cheston brought up some old bullshit and freaked him out." Miracle rolled his eyes as he started putting on the cuffs. "He's like Eric...but worse in that...he's just plain out annoying. I mean, thankfully he doesn't kill my friends...but if he is going to take them all away..."

"More importantly...what happened to Jaemin? I've been afraid to ask."

Miracle paused and then walked around the bed and sat down and stared straight at Cody. "He recorded a video for me, then he traded the phone to the floor for a gun...and he shot himself, just as I walked into the room." He looked down. "He thought he was setting me free, that he was giving me a new start...when really, the best thing he could of done was to have stayed." He looked up. "So yeah, maybe I look lively, maybe I look rich, with a nice house and a bunch of luxuries...but I get sad, more often than you might think or see."

Cody's eyes slightly widened. "Wow...I can't believe he would do that to you."

"Well, he did." Miracle frowned and looked away. "And I want to hate him for it...but even though death is a distance so great, not even that distance can change love into hate." He paused. "It can simply create what distance creates, longing, hurt, nostalgia, just..distance."

"Uh...that rhymed, the first part." Cody said.

"I know." Miracle stood up and grabbed his jacket and slipped it on, the jacket it's self was also small, coming down only the same length as the vest, leaving skin to be revealed. Miracle looked at himself in the mirror again and then fell back on the bed and he looked up at the ceiling.

Cody sat there and stared at Miracle for several moments and then he got off the bed and went to leave the room just as Barry walked around the corner.

"Watch out." Barry stepped back, letting Cody out and then he walked in and grinned. "Damn...hot in the house." He walked towards the bed and looked down at Miracle. "Where's the party you're heading to?"

Miracle listened to footsteps as Cody left and Barry came in, his eyes didn't shift to Barry until he came into view at the side and then he looked over at him. "Just a party at a friends place. I kinda have to be someones date, it's a favor." He pushed himself to sit up. "I really don't feel like it."

"Then why do it? I mean, unless you haven't gotten what you want out of the deal yet." Barry sat down next to Miracle.

Miracle sighed. "Because, knowing them, they can probably undo what they did for me some how...and if they do...I am toast."

"If they could, I highly doubt they'd ask for you for just a single night..." Barry then looked around. "Unless that's just their thing."

Miracle grinned. "Not every person wants me forever, sometimes...I see that as a blessing, if it happens."

Barry stared at Miracle. "For some reason, I feel like that's incredibly new for you."

"Of course, it used to be the other way around." Miracle shook his head. "But I've really wanted to give this independent thing a try. That's not to say I don't want someone in my life, but it has to be someone who isn't going to get obsessed with taking care of me and...keeping me and...treating me like they own me." Miracle looked over at Barry. "I might not be worth anything at the job stuff or any of that crap, but I need a regular boyfriend, someone who will give me my freedom, someone who will trust me and give me more credit as a capable person."

"And I take it...Cheston didn't do that for you."

"He did all the bad things and worse..." Miracle shook his head and took a deep breath. "I need a boyfriend...just a boyfriend, not a knight in shining armor...not a parent or a guardian...or a protector."

"Miracle, when you love...you naturally want to protect to some extent." Barry said. "Though I get it...you don't over protect."

He nodded. "Yeah." He then heard the sound of a car horn outside. "God, that's him." Miracle dragged himself off the bed.

"The date?" Barry grinned.

"Yes." He turned around. "I'll see you later...after I get this misery over with. Don't worry...I fake smiles all the time, and I can make them look real too." He grinned. "Is this one fake?" He left the question to hang in the air as he walked out.

Miracle walked out to the car, it was nothing impressive, a black 2004 Mazda3 S. He opened the passenger side door and climbed in and quickly pulled the seat belt on.

"You look amazing." Dizon smiled at Miracle.

Miracle looked over at Dizon and forced a smile. "Thanks." He didn't know why he dreaded this. The guy was not bad looking, he reminded him of Issac in the way that Cheston had reminded him of Jaemin which had been what caused the initial attraction.

Maybe it was just the odd way of meeting, the fact that he was covering up evidence for him? Or just that he didn't feel like going to the party? He looked out the window as Dizon backed out of the drive way and pushed on down the street.

"Miracle, listen, I know...I'm aware that you aren't looking forward to this. I'm not sure if it's because of how awkward our meeting was, if it's because you feel obligated because of what I did for you..." Dizon shook his head. "I don't want you to feel obligated. I mean, I know I asked Rayne to ask you...as a favor in exchange...but you don't have to. If you're not going to be happy...then I'd rather..."

"Dizon." Miracle suddenly spoke up. He looked over at him. "I don't understand what it is. My ex...Cheston, I was initially attracted to him because he reminded me of another ex...who I was deeply in love with. That story aside, you remind me of Issac, who...at one time I also cared for deeply, I loved, maybe not as much, but I did. I don't know if it's just our awkward way of meeting or if it's just that I don't feel like going to this party. It's...been so long and...this..."

Miracle gestured at his clothes with his hands. "It's...not really what I do anymore. I never did it often, and I stopped a long time ago after a very bad experience. I know I used to dance at a club...and I did that not to long ago...but it was very superficial and impersonal, I never actually had to interact with anyone if I didn't want to. I just went out, did my routine, I could put myself in my own world and then walk out."

"So you're scared?" He asked. "Miracle, it's not really my thing either, Rayne isn't even going to be there...and I hardly know Mysti...it's why I was counting on you so much for comfort. It's just...it seems to be what everyone does, I want to do what they all do." He stopped at a stop light and reached out for Miracle's hand. "I understand the fear."

Miracle looked over at Dizon when his hand was taken. "You do?"

"I'm actually surprised, I thought you would be the more confident one, now I'm not sure which one of us is." He stared at Miracle. "Not that I'm disappointed, it's just...now it's going to be a little unpredictable." He grinned. "Though it was bold of you to dress like that."

"Appearance isn't something that scares me...it's just actually being there and...figuring out how to go about it...that's the troubling part." Miracle smiled briefly.

"The awkward beginnings..." Dizon nodded. "Once you're wasted...then it's pretty easy. Maybe we should of gotten wasted first." He laughed.

"Maybe." Miracle grinned.

"Can I kiss you?" Dizon asked.

Miracle's eyebrows lifted. "If...you catch another red light...it's green."

Dizon looked up. "Oh!" He started driving, hearing the driver behind him blow their horn.

Miracle laughed.

The party was in the basement, and Mysti and Rayne made sure it was party central, loud surround sound speakers, pumping music, lights built up in the ceiling, flashing and dancing with colors, a room off to the side for people to get tattoos and piercings done by friends that volunteered to earn cash, along with the bar tenders that volunteered their nights off at their regular tending jobs to work the bar they had in the basement.

Mysti and Nikolai sat on the floor around a glass table with a few other people. Mysti smiled and waved Dizon and Miracle over. "Hey guys! Grab some beers! We're over here!"

Dizon smiled over at Mysti and then took a deep breath and looked at Miracle who took his hand and lead him over to the bar and ordered two margaritas instead. He handed one over to Dizon and then took his own and headed over to the table, lowering down to sit on one of the many cushions on the floor.

"Nik! It's been forever! What's up?" Miracle laughed.

"Well, you know...I've been laying low."

Mysti burst out laughing. "After what he did." She tossed out a short straw to Dizon and Miracle while one of the other guys worked on making the lines of cocaine on the glass top.

Miracle reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small black mini bag and opened it, taking out two xanax and a klonopin and he tossed them into his margarita and then zipped the bag and returned it to his pocket.

"Oh, hey, you want some of this?" Nik brought up a small bottle.

"What is it?" Miracle asked.

"LSD." Nik grinned and twisted the cap off and leaned forward, letting a drop fall into Miracle's drink and then pulled back and returned the bottle to where he kept it.

"Dizon, want anything?" Mysti grinned.

"No, I'll just go for the coke." Dizon smiled and grabbed the straw and leaned down and took a line.

Miracle picked up his drink and took a big sip and his face cringed and he licked some salt from around his lips. He then grabbed his straw and leaned down and took a line of the coke, sniffling as he sat up and dropped the straw.

"You're missing out." Nik shook his head.

Miracle pulled his bag out and reached inside and tossed a xanax into Dizon's drink. Not wanting to give him to much if he wasn't used to it. He zipped his baggie up and shoved it back into the pocket of his jacket.

"So what's been going on?" Nikolai asked.

"Oh, I just had to jet it to the east coast, got into another mess, had to attend a hearing." Miracle grinned. "Got grilled by a DA about taking the time to get half dressed after getting out of the shower." Miracle paused. "That's all I'm saying!"

Nikolai started laughing. "Jetting it? Do you have a private jet now?"

"No, had to borrow Cheston's moms. I might could buy my own...maybe, but it could be a stretch, and I'd probably end up broke too." Miracle sniffled again and took another sip from his drink. "I should make that an exception of the estate, don't want Eric's jet sold...I'd rather keep that."

"If you even still get anything, she might not be entirely mad at you for taking him of everything...but she still might decide not to give you a thing." Nik shrugged.

"I'll sue her, for the pain and suffering Eric caused me, anything his belongings gains should come to me." He looked around. "Can I do that?"

Dizon finished his drink and looked around and stood up. "Going to get a beer." He said as he walked off towards the bar.

Miracle watches Dizon walk off. "He's such an awkward date, barely talks...what am I supposed to do?"

"Go sleep with him." Nikolai said. "Kills all the awkwardness."

Mysti slapped Nikolai in the arm. "Typical advice! Sex cures everything! For real..." She looked at Miracle. "We just...have to get him to talk."

"Good luck, I can barely make Gavin talk, and I've known him a lot longer..." Miracle stared at her. "If he were as much like Issac personality wise as he is looks..."

Mysti's eyebrows lifted. "I don't know Issac, but I take it...you mean he talked."

"Here." Nikolai handed Miracle the bottle of LSD. "When he isn't looking, get his bottle of beer and...just one drop. Really...one drop, I mean that. You put to much and that's bad."

Miracle grabbed the bottle real quick and nodded just as Dizon stumbled back and fell down onto his pillow and smiled. "I'm back."

"Can I have a sip of your beer, baby? So much salt and acid in this drink." Miracle grinned.

"Sure." Dizon handed his beer over.

"Thanks." Miracle took it and then looked over at Mysti and Nikolai, hoping they would get the message to distract him.

"So, Dizon, how did you meet Rayne, how long have you guys been down with each other?" Mysti asked.

Miracle took a sip of the beer while he untwisted the small bottle with a single hand while pinning it between his knees. As he brought the beer down, he brought the bottle up and let a single drop of the LSD fall into the beer and brought the small bottle down and handed the beer back to Dizon.

"Oh, for a while, we met through some chat rooms, that sort of thing." Dizon smiled and then took his beer back. "Thanks." He then took a sip.

Miracle looked over at Nikolai and screwed the cap back on and handed the bottle back to him from underneath the table and Nikolai took the bottle back real quick.

"That's real cool, and then the fact that you both knew Issac, and he knew Miracle, what are the odds?" Mysti laughed. "But then I only know Rayne...so that makes me the odd girl out."

Dizon grinned. "It is strange, isn't it? And then me and Miracle come together." He looked over at Miracle, the drugs and the alcohol having already taken effect as his inhibitions began to lower and his inner thoughts began to spill forth. "He's so beautiful...and...perfect, for me to have such an opportunity, even if for only one night...:"

Miracle looked at Dizon and he smiled, yet he looked surprised, the way the guy spoke, it was so dorky yet adorable at the same time. "Oh...that is so sweet."

Nikolai grinned and almost wanted to laugh and he kicked Mysti's foot under the table.

"Stop!" Mysti spoke in a firm yet quiet tone and grinned, kicking back at Nikolai's foot and then she smiled at Dizon and Miracle. "That is sweet." She grabbed her straw and leaned forward and took in another line.

"Dizon, maybe you need another line." Nikolai said. "Go for it." He said as he went to work on making some more lines of coke to replace what had been used.

Dizon looked at Nikolai and nodded. "Go with me, Miracle?"

Miracle smiled and nodded, grabbing his straw and he leaned forward and took a line along side Dizon and then he leaned up and grabbed his drink and finished off his margarita.

"Need another drink, Miracle?" Mysti stood up. "I'm going to get one myself."

"Yeah, grab me a beer." Miracle handed his glass over and Mysti took it and headed off for the bar.

Dizon smiled. "Can I kiss you? I know...there were no more red lights..."

Miracle half grinned and looked up. "Those lights are red..."

Dizon grinned and reached forward and grabbed Miracle by the back of the neck and pulled him forward and began to roughly and heatedly kiss him.

Miracle was rather surprised by the suddenness and he reached up and grabbed the wrist of the hand around his neck and then he leaned forward, into the kiss and when he felt a little give, that was when he broke the kiss, and when his eyes opened and he started to pull away, he would swear to God himself, that he was staring right at Issac.

However after blinking several quick times, that was when he saw Dizon again. Miracle then mentally reminded himself of what some of Nikolai's drugs did, remembering the last experience in which he dreamed up a very realistic out of body experience with Melanie.

"Get it on!" Mysti caught the end and she laughed and sat the beer in front of Miracle before taking her seat again.

"Maybe that's not such a bad idea." Dizon grinned, seeming more confident as he grabbed his beer and took another sip.

Miracle stared at him with wonder and closed his eyes and opened them again, wondering if the illusion of Issac would come back. He grabbed his own beer and took a sip, a deep breath being taken and he smiled. "I think going somewhere a little more comfortable would be okay." He said as he looked around, the music, all the sounds, everything seeming to have an echo as everything appeared to have a reflection, it was almost as if the world around him were beginning to turn into a kaleidoscope.

"Let me take you." Dizon grabbed Miracle's hand and pulled him up and Miracle laughed as he stood up and stumbled after him as he was being lead up the stairs.

"Use Rayne's room, not mine!" Mysti screamed and looked over at Nikolai. "Think everything will be okay?"

"I think everything will be fine...they might go at it, might not, either way, they'll end up safe and asleep." Nikolai nodded.

Dizon lead Miracle into Rayne's bedroom and Miracle laughed as he stumbled around, pulling Dizon with him and he fell onto the bed and pulled Dizon with him. He fell back and took a deep breath as Dizon fell forward ontop of him and captured his lips in a kiss and Miracle's eyes closed, however despite what was happening, his mind entirely drifted to a different place.

Miracle found himself sitting in that chair in his new room in New York, but the handcuffs were on the floor and no one was there, no one alive, no dead bodies, the only person there was Issac who stood right in front of him, but Eric wasn't there either, and Issac was free of any binds, just as he was.

"True, I'm merely a memory, an image of Issac, your image, but I think...or rather you think that, because you know it's the truth. So...with that...open your eyes...and try not to be alarmed to find where you are."

Miracle's eyes opened and he looked up, seeing Dizon above him. "You're awake." Dizon said. "We started and then you went out...and you started mumbling...things."

Miracle looked up at Dizon. "Did you hear everything I said?"

"Unless you said more since you went out, no." Dizon sighed and leaned down and started kissing along Miracle's neck. "Are you still okay to do this?" He asked.

Miracle looked up at the ceiling and it seemed to get higher and higher. "I think so." He said and then he looked at Dizon and started seeing doubles and triple images of him being left behind with the movements that he made.

"I wanted this to be special." Dizon got up and took a few steps back from Miracle.

"What?" Miracle pushed himself up. "I don't understand."

"I just feel like...if I do this to you...I'll ruin you." He looked down.

"Ruin me?" Miracle asked, confused.

"The idea of you..." He looked up at Miracle. "I just...I don't think I can bring myself to...take your innocence and...taint it." He shook his head. "I'm sorry." He quickly turned around and walked out of the room.

"What?" Miracle watched Dizon leave the room. "People could use me and take advantage of me...and now someone can't bring themselves to..." He fell back onto the bed. "That is so fucked up." He rolled over and pulled the night stand open and found several syringes. He grabbed one out and looked at it and then he stuck it into his arm and injected it before dropping the syringe onto the floor.

Miracle pushed himself to stand up and then shoved his jacket off as he felt hot and then he stood up and stumbled out of the room, he started to feel like he was walking inside of those funny mirrors. He looked around. "Dizon!" He screamed as he found the basement and grabbed onto the railing and started heading down the stairs. "That is the most fucked up thing I have ever been told!"

Mysti and Nikolai looked over to see Miracle slowly coming down the stairs only to then trip and fall down the stairs. Their eyes widened and they jumped up and ran over to the bottom of the stairs.

"Miracle!" Nikolai called out.

"What happened?!" Mysti asked.

Miracle groaned in pain as he landed at the bottom of the stairs, though most of the party goers didn't seem to notice. "Dizon fucking....he's fucked up in the head." Miracle rolled over, blood on the back of his head from where he hit it. "Where the fuck is he? I deserve a fucking answer!"

"Oh god...that looks bad." Nikolai looked at Mysti.

"Dizon didn't come back down here." She looked up. "He probably left." Mysti wondered just what had happened between them.

"Son of a bitch..." Miracle mumbled and then passed out.

"We got to get him to a hospital." Nikolai leaned down and grabbed Miracle's arm. "Fresh injection sight, he must of gotten one of Rayne's needles."

"Great, I told her to keep locks." Mysti grabbed one arm and looked at Nikolai. "Well, help." She started to pull Miracle up.

Nikolai grabbed Miracle's other arm and lifted him up, pulling his arm across his shoulders as Mysti did the same and they started getting him up the stairs and out through the living room and outside, down the steps of the porch. When Mysti let go, he leaned down and swooped an arm beneath Miracle's knees and picked him up and put him in the back seat once Mysti had the door open. He shut the door and looked at her. "Which one is driving?"

"You're more sober, you were dispensing the drugs!" Mysti climbed into the passenger seat.

"Right." Nikolai nodded and climbed into the driver seat and took the keys from Mysti and turned the car on, slamming his foot on the gas, soon they were off for the hospital.

Miracle opened his eyes, the moment was like a huge deja vu, a dimly lit florescent light above his bed, his vision blurred and the sight of a face right above his own, more importantly, the sight of eyes, and due to the drugs still having some effect on his brain and the fact that something was done on purpose, he saw Jaemin's eyes, his face, even through the blurriness. He reached up and his hand slightly brushed over his cheek. "I must be dreaming again. The drug makes me do that..."

He shook his head at Miracle and leaned down and whispered. "You're not dreaming." He paused, wondering if he should dare do this, Gavin told him not to, but he wondered what would happen if he did. "Our hearts beat as one..." He whispered. "You just had one big horrible nightmare." His hand reached up and his fingers ran through Miracle's hair.

Miracle couldn't tell the difference in voice so long as he whispered. "A horrible nightmare? All of it? A horrible nightmare? So...where am I? When is this?" His eyes closed.

"When do you think?" He whispered, his hand moved down and he placed it over Miracle's heart.

"My OD? So...everything that happened after...never happened?" Miracle opened his eyes again and then his vision began to clear more and his eyes widened.

Cheston eased back and pulled his hand away.

Miracle's vision cleared and he looked at Cheston, noticing the eyeliner he had put on to help imitate the experience of his first over dose. "You son of a bitch." He started to sit up. "What the fuck are you doing?!" He started to raise his voice. "What did you think you were going to be able to do?!"

Cheston sighed and looked away. "I'm sorry, I just...wanted to be as good as Jaemin...for one time." He looked at Miracle and shrugged. "When I realized you over dosed...when I realized what drugs you'd been on, I thought...I could create that for you...and get to experience that for myself."

Miracle frowned. "Right, you were still my emergency contact." He laid back, to weak to be angry and defiant. He looked down and slowly shook his head. "I had a date...it was supposed to be a favor...and believe it or not, the guy wouldn't sleep with me...because he didn't want to taint my innocence." He looked at Cheston. "I only remember bits and pieces...but that part I damn sure remember. How could someone feel that way about me? I'm far from innocent, that was tainted a long time ago."

Cheston sighed and slid off the side of the bed and into the chair next to it. "I don't know, you would have to ask him. Maybe...he loved the idea of you, the curiousity of you, the dreaming and imagining of you, they didn't want to ruin that by actually discovering you." He slowly shrugged. "I could see people possibly feeling that way. I...sort of felt that way when I wanted to go slow, I mean...yeah part of it was not wanting to betray Susan...but the other part was not wanting to lose the undiscovered...the mystery that I just had to imagine."

"That's what made you such a great dancer." Cheston pushed on. "The tease, the imagination you left behind."

Miracle laid there, thinking about everything that Cheston was telling him and he shook his head. "Doesn't change the fact that I'm going to get out of here and go yell at him."

"I can't tell you what to do." Cheston shrugged. "I'm done trying, I'm done begging, I'm done...threatening. I'm in the position that I'm in...and that's really all there is to it. I have to defend Martin, until I make enough money, I have to live with Susan, make her think we're together, and I have to accept that you will never take me back." He looked down. "But I can be desperate, it's why I wanted to grab onto this one moment, recreate it...to the best of my ability."

"I want to forgive you Cheston, don't think that I don't...or that I want to be mean or stubborn. But you scammed me, you stalked me, you tried to blackmail me, you got Lacey deported, you tried to make Kevin figure out that I knew Jaemin killed Melanie after he did it." Miracle shrugged. "But then you came and you saved me in Delaware, you could of had me and Nikolai both arrested for trying to get into your study, you dealt with Quinn and handled that situation, for as many times as you hurt me, as many times you saved me. You're like a double sided coin...and for someone with a disorder like me...what am I supposed to do with that?"

"I know, I've tugged your strings back and forth..." Cheston looked up. "Disorder?"

"I'm borderline...and you flip from love to hate and back and forth so fast that it probably seems like you stay on the hate side almost all the time because I don't even get the chance to express the love, I feel it, when you do good things...but just as you do, you come out a minute later and do something bad...and then it flips." Miracle sighed.

"Right, I didn't think about that." Cheston nodded. "I should of remembered."

"The meds usually keep my rages away...but they don't change how I think, whether I know it's part of my overall sickness or not." He reached down and took Cheston's hand. "So...we are where we are. Not much we can do until after the trial, it would look bad if we were together before it happened, they would say we staged the cross exam."

"Yeah, so I guess for now...we just have to wait and see." Cheston nodded.