Trigger The Years Past - 28. Chapter 28: If I Wanted To Be A Bitch

Miracle laid on the hood of his car at the spot where he used to hang out with Nik, the place that was far enough away from the strip, but close enough to look it over like a skyline, but it was from a ground view. His eyes at the moment, were on the stars.

Another car pulled up and the lights went out and moments later, Godfrey walked up and put his hands into the pockets of his hunter green hoody and one hand released his keys into one of the pockets. "Well, this is more discreet." He spoke up.

"Yeah, I used to come here with a friend, actually one of Cheston's old clients, they didn't exactly get along, so we had a spot. He went back to jail though." Miracle's head rolled to the side. "You know...it's fucked up. I get married, realize it happened on my birthday, which I had completely forgotten...and I had completely forgotten the Fourth Of July too."

Godfrey smiled and moved over to sit on the hood of the car next to Miracle. "Is this where you would of watched it?"

"Yeah." Miracle nodded. "Though, strangest thing is...I don't even remember how my life was on that day, like I didn't even keep up with the days, and things were going so crazy. Have you ever seen that Cube movie? The one where the people are trapped in the rooms and they're constantly changing and moving?"

Godfrey laid back and looked up at the sky. "Yeah, I've seen all three, it was a good concept, the second was my favorite."

"Well, that's kind of how my days seemed, constantly changing and moving." Miracle paused. "Wish they could set them off now."

Godfrey looked over at Miracle. "You'd want to watch them with me?"

"Is that surprising?" Miracle looked over at him.

"It's just...I've been alone for a long time."

"No friends? What about family?" Miracle questioned.

"Well, it was kind of by choice. I had all that, but I left it for various reasons. I could probably find my family if I wanted to. Either they're still where I left them or...they moved on. And...it's like, when you isolate yourself and become a lone wolf...you really disconnect and..you start to lose that part of yourself that made you belong."

Miracle stared at Godfrey. "You became a fingerprint."

"I became a fingerprint?"

Miracle looked up at the sky. "It's this thing I used to feel, like..I used to be scared that everyone around me would move on and I would be left in the past, and nothing I did would matter and it would be forgotten, and I would become invisible...and people would just walk by, and no one else would notice me...because I would be just like...a fingerprint."

"That's a sad thing to make up."

"Well, it's not made up, it can really happen, it's just a metaphoric way to describe it." Miracle pushed himself to sit up.

Godfrey sat up with Miracle. "Have you ever made up..." He shook his head. "Sorry, not made up, but described something happy, in a metaphoric way?"

"Happy isn't complicated, happy is simple, you don't need metaphors to describe happy." Miracle looked at Godfrey and smiled. "But, I have said I wanted to be so happy that I cried, of all the times I cried, for once I wanted to cry because I was happy."

"Have you?"

"Yeah, but, it can always happen again. It's just...at that time, I thought it was so rare...that when it happened, it meant that you reached ultimate happiness." Miracle pulled out his cell phone.

"What are you doing?" Godfrey asked.

"Having vacation with you." Miracle said as he started texting Gavin. "Need you to cover for me, if anyone asks, I am at your house, then we're driving out to the desert, in my car." He sent the text and took a deep breath. "That will do for now."

Godfrey laughed. "It's like you're still in high school. How do you feel about that?"

Miracle grinned. "Very juvenile...but, it's fun. I'll have to think of another excuse later. Like how to actually send the private jet on a real vacation, without me on it, without the pilot disclosing the truth."

Godfrey laughed even more. "Sending the jet flying off with no passengers..."

"Well, I might have to put my cover friend on it." Miracle laughed and slid off the hood of the car.

"Or we could really go on the vacation, less likely to get caught if we leave Vegas." Godfrey suggested. "There's no cameras on the jet, right?"

"No, but I can't guarantee that for the airport." Miracle shrugged. "But, I don't see any reason to be so paranoid, Cheston wouldn't bother to check it, unless he finds all my friends home."

"We could just drive by car, who said we had to go far?" Godfrey looked up at Miracle.

Miracle grinned. "Reno." He dug his keys out and tossed them at Godfrey. "You drive."

He caught the keys and slightly laughed as he slid off the hood of the car and headed for the drivers side. Once they were settled and secure, the car was reversed and turned around and he pulled off and headed back onto the road to drive off.

"Gavin, hide in your house until I text you again, we have gone to the desert in my car, that is all anyone needs to know. Make sure your mommy knows the story too. I need to be away for a day or two and I need it secret, so you and I are on vacation." Miracle sent the text.

Godfrey laughed. "You want the guy to hide in his room?"

"Well, he probably just sits at home most of the time anyway, he just needs to close his blinds, pull his curtains, and makes sure that his mom lies for him." Miracle shrugged.

"Well, I'm honored...but I have to know..." He briefly looked at Miracle. "Why do you want to be with me so badly?"

Miracle looked out of the window. "Because, I just like the feeling that I get when I'm around you."

Godfrey stared ahead at the road and his eyes squinted. "Given what I know of you, how..do I know that I won't be just the guy of the month until you meet someone else that gives you a nice feeling?"

Miracle looked over at him and his eyebrows lifted. "What? How...I've never given you a reason to think that I'm like that..."

A sigh escaped. "It's hard for me to trust." He looked over at Miracle. "And I just mean that...look at your husband, technically we haven't done anything, but if we let this go on, we might, eventually, how do I know that...I won't become like your husband later?"

Miracle looked down as Godfrey's gaze returned to the road. "I don't know what I could say to make you feel reassured or secure..my history with men is awful, I don't think there is a guy that I haven't cheated on...for the same reason, I meet another and they give me this feeling. Really...it's a sickness. But, right now...I just don't care. Can't we just enjoy this for the now...and not worry about the later?"

He continued to drive and was silent for several moments, thinking about what Miracle had just told him. "The feeling, with each guy, is it always exactly the same, or is it different, even slightly?"

"It can be different." Miracle nodded. "All I know about this feeling is that...I want to be around you, I feel like I have to be. There's always a magnetic pull...and this one is really strong. Even more so than the one I had with Barry." Miracle looked up. "The other guy at the bar that I totally blew off for you...and he was actually my friend."

"So, you felt it more for me than him." He nodded. "I guess that's a compliment. And apparently it's stronger than the one with your husbands, other wise this wouldn't be happening, right?"

Miracle nodded. "Pretty much. And I'm sorry if you're scared that...you might become less to me in the future." Miracle sighed. "I hate that, I want you to be happy with me."

Godfrey stared out ahead with a rather flat expression, he frowned and then blinked and shook his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't take out my trust issues on you. I approached you, I chose to take that chance, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't follow through."

Miracle looked up and smiled. "So, you will give it a chance?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll do that."

Cheston started to wake up and threw his arm across the bed, his eyes then opened and fluttered several times as he began to notice that Miracle wasn't there, yet his empty bowl of ice cream was left on the nightstand with the spoon still in it. "Miracle?"

He sat up and then sniffed, he didn't smell anything cooking, the shower was obviously not running, it was just silence and nothingness. "Miracle?" He called out and slid from the bed and walked out into the hall. "Miracle?!" He called out louder, with no response.

"Where the hell is he?" He turned and that was when he noticed a note on the bed that he must of kicked around in his sleep. He grabbed it and unfolded it. "Gone to the desert with Gavin, have a good day at work, love you." He slowly folded the paper and dropped it on the bed and moved to grab his phone from his night stand and dialed Miracle's phone, it went straight to voice mail. He then dialed Gavin's phone.

Gavin sat on his bed and heard his phone ring, he knew this would happen eventually. "Miracle, you're in trouble if he wants to talk to you." Gavin answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Gavin, hi. I got Miracle's note. You two are out in the desert? I tried Miracle's phone, it goes straight to voice mail. I don't understand."

"Miracle's phone died." Gavin answered impulsively. "And he wanted to come see the sunrise, and I know all the good spots around here."

Cheston nodded and looked out the window. "Well, the sun has risen. Can I talk to him?"

"Yeah, it has, so we left." Gavin looked around. "No, you can't. He went to use the bathroom, and I was just about to buy some gas to go into the car." He closed his eyes and lightly banged his forehead against his hand.

"Well, okay. I guess you guys have more planned, that's cool. He seemed kind of sad about hanging around the house, so it helps that you get him out. I'm going to head to work, so..try to keep him going, lots of fun in his life, that's what he needs."

Gavin nodded. "Yeah, well...I have a ton of that planned. We're going to just cruise the desert, kill a bunch of time, no rush back into the city, then we might go bowling or something."

"Alright, well tell him that I love him." Cheston smiled.

"Will do." Gavin nodded. "Bye!" He hung up and then looked down and started texting Miracle. "Cheston called, told him we went to the desert to see the sun rise, said we were at a gas station, that your phone died when he tried to call it, he asked to talk to you, said you were in the bathroom, told him we were going to cruise the desert on our way back to town and then go bowling." He sighed when he finished the long winded message and sent it.

Cheston by now was dressed and headed down stairs and into the kitchen to grab his coffee that George had prepared in his travel coffee mug and he headed for the garage to leave for work.

"Well, it's not the beach like I wanted." Miracle said as they walked around the Virginia Lake Park in Reno.

"Yeah, but you said we were going, it would just be a huge drive in one night." Godfrey smiled. "This is nice, it's actually...pretty."

"Well, I have a cabin there, it was actually my real parents house, where I spent the first five years of my life before..." Miracle trailed off.

"Before what?" Godfrey asked.

"Before I was put up for adoption after my dad disappeared. Um...it was really an illegal agency, the black market, my mom didn't know. And...I was purchased by a man when I was eight..." Miracle looked down. "That's why I'm so messed up. They saved me about a year or so later and...I was put in the official system and got a normal family..." Miracle grinned and hinted a laugh. "What do ya know? At the end of it all, both of my real parents are brought back to me. Now we're all together."

Godfrey frowned. "Wow, I'm really sorry." He looked down. "I don't know what to say. At least you found your real parents. You're incredible for not being angry at them."

"It didn't matter, why be bitter, when you can just be happy for the chance?" Miracle looked up. "I was angry at both of them for a short time initially. It was especially difficult to deal with my dad coming back into my life because, he literally came back into my life saving my life. The first time I saw him was after he pushed me out of the way of the train." Miracle looked up at Godfrey.

He stared at Miracle. "That's...well..." He looked off towards the lake. "It's hard for me to make words out of all that. I mean, I couldn't imagine what you went through, what you had to of felt."

"At that time, I was in a state of shock, and so much pain. With my mom, well the cops wanted to interrogate me about murder when my adoptive parents brought her into my life, bad timing. I was being bitchy and dramatic. I wanted to make a scene, sure scared the cops away. I recognized her when I saw her, weird thing is...my dad, when he came back, he actually kept hanging around me, kept coming around, but I didn't recognize him." Miracle shrugged.

Godfrey turned towards Miracle and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You've survived a lot, I get this feeling...that you have."

He stopped and looked at Godfrey. "Maybe, I survived...or I just live because I won't go to that dark place again, that place where I tried to die." Miracle reached up and brought a hand to the side of Godfrey's neck and stepped closer. "I didn't mean to get into all this when I told you about the cabin."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you talk about...all of that." He looked into Miracle's eyes and could feel his eyelids growing heavy as the urge to kiss him grew stronger.

"I guess...you can't mention something..without the whole story...pouring out." Miracle drew in a breath.

"Sometimes...you can." Godfrey closed his eyes and leaned in, his lips pressed against Miracle's, softly and gently. His hand moved from Miracle's shoulder and up to the back of his head.

Miracle's eyes drifted shut and he stepped closer and kissed him deeply, his other hand moved up and he wrapped an arm around his neck, while his other hand moved up and into his hair on the back of his head, soon feeling Godfrey's other arm wrap around his waist as their bodies pressed together.

Godfrey broke the kiss moments later and his eyes opened and he looked into Miracle's eyes. "That was the first time...in what seems like...forever."

Miracle opened his eyes. "How long?" Miracle asked curiously.

"Since high school...and I'm a bit older than you. Thirty one..."

"Wow...so like...a decade...or something?" Miracle's eyebrows lifted. "Why?"

"I'm a lone wolf, like I said." He let Miracle go and stepped back.

Miracle's arms fell to his sides. "So...why me?"

"Do you often find yourself asking people that?"

"I think I ask every person that." Miracle grinned. "I think it's a validation thing or something."

"Well, if you must know. You've probably heard every reason in the book."

Miracle grinned. "Well, usually I get some kind of reason like...you're special or...you're innocent." He laughed, his voice changing as he mocked the reasons.

Godfrey laughed softly. "Okay, try uh...you were attractive, I decided for myself...in the moment I met you, to try...and since then...you've made me start to feel human again."

Miracle stared at Godfrey. "That's a new one." His smile slowly returned. "But, I like it, the reason is about me, but it's about what I do...for you. I like that..."

"It's...the truth. I mean, it's still new and...some things are still a little difficult, but I want to be around you because...you make life...you make it happen in me." He smiled.

Miracle grinned. "And if you didn't have to get back in the car, I'd totally shove you in the water for fun."

"I'd take you with me." He reached out and took Miracle's hand and started to head for the parking lot.

"Gavin, it's been over eight hours! So you're telling me, you went to the desert to see the sun rise, spent hours out there, went bowling, decided to go to the mall, yet spent nothing, at least on Miracle's part, because his card hasn't been used, then you went to Taco Bell for lunch, decided to go roller blading, changed your mind, went home, got swimming trunks, went to the pool, and now you're on your way to the arcade?!" Cheston took a deep breath after listing all the excuses Gavin has been giving him.

Gavin sighed. "Miracle wanted to do everything."

"Miracle isn't with you." Cheston said. "Why sneak out after I fell asleep and go to an ATM and withdraw three hundred dollars? Then he withdrew another three hundred in Reno."

Gavin frowned. "He texted me and said he wanted to go on a vacation."

"He texted you. Have you vocally spoken to him at all?"

"No." Gavin replied. "Honestly, I've not heard his voice. Why?"

"I wouldn't of cared if he wanted to go somewhere, I would think he would know that."

"Cheston, don't you think if he was kidnapped or something, you'd of heard it? And you have ADT for crying out loud." He sighed in frustration. "I've been stressing the hell out of myself."

"I'm sure, coming up with all your stories. And with Rumor out there, I'm sure ADT is no match for him." Cheston fell down on the couch.

"Would he risk coming close?" Gavin asked.

"No, but he's got a grapevine of people who would do for him."

"Okay, still, how would they get Miracle out of the bed?"

"Maybe he went to the kitchen or something, he could of gotten up." Cheston sighed. "But wait...he left that note saying the exact cover story that you gave me." He shook his head. "No, he wasn't kidnapped, no way they could leave a note and you would know to tell the same story."

"Then what do you think it is?"

"Maybe he just wanted to go on a trip. He didn't have to be sneaky about it, I would let him go places alone, he should know that."

"Cheston, I hesitate to say this, but it's Miracle, do you really think, are you really sure that he's alone?"

Cheston frowned at the idea. "Well, where would he meet someone? In the waiting room of his doctors office? I've known where he was at all times since we got married."

"I don't know then, I really don't." Gavin shrugged.

"Wait..." Cheston looked up. "Dizon, why didn't I think of it before. He can restore the log that proves Miracle used the program to fake the texts from his own phone. He could get Miracle to do whatever he says, leave a note, text you and make you tell the cover story..."

"Okay, but how do you find him? Think he's still in Reno? Because he only keeps his phone on long enough to send texts to me. Any that I send to him, he only gets them when he turns his phone on."

"You don't have to find him, you only have to find Dizon, hold on." Cheston pulled his phone away and called Rayne and pushed the button to connect her into the call.

"Hello?" Rayne answered.

"Rayne, can you GPS Dizon?" Cheston asked.

"Sure, hold on." Rayne pulled her phone away and pulled up the map and then brought the phone back moments later. "Well, his phone is at home, whether he's with it or not, I don't know."

Cheston sighed in frustration, his forehead falling into his hand. "Then it's a hit or miss."

"What's going on?" Rayne asked.

"We suspect either Miracle has just left or he's been kidnapped." Gavin said.

"It's so strange. He should know I would let him go anywhere he wanted. Yet he leaves a note lying about where he's going, makes Gavin cover the lie and then goes to an ATM after I fall asleep, withdraws three hundred dollars, like he's trying to not leave a trail, then does it again in Reno, keeps his phone off, only turns it on to send texts to Gavin and to check them. The only one who could make him act like that is Dizon, because he could bring that log back and prove Miracle faked the entire self defense, framed Martin, everything." Cheston shook his head.

"And we know how Miracle is, but Cheston says he's known everywhere Miracle has been since they got married." Gavin laid back on his bed.

"He hasn't been anywhere to meet anyone. Unless people hook up in doctors office waiting rooms now." Cheston almost wanted to laugh at the idea.

Rayne sat there, quiet, thinking about the guy that Miracle had told her about, though she had never gotten his name.

"Rayne?" Cheston questioned, to see if she was there.

"Oh my god, he is so going to hate me...." She rolled her eyes as her lids fell shut.

"What? What do you know?" Cheston asked.

"He told me about this guy he met, described him as a friend! He called him a friend! He said that he liked him and enjoyed being around him and that he was fun, that was about it, never gave me a name."

"A friend, we all know who most of Miracle's friends turn into. And given what he's done, Cheston...it's safe to say..." Gavin said.

"I know." Cheston interrupted Gavin and looked up and across the room. "He'll never stop, you can't...I mean, he has so much potential to be the perfect lover...and he just can't. I know he wants to be...but, he can't stop himself, he won't ever...I don't know why I thought he could."

"Hey, it's not fair of either of you to jump to conclusions until you know the facts." Rayne said, in Miracle's defense. "I know it looks a bit shady, but maybe that's why he did it that way, because everyone jumps to their conclusions."

"He wasn't like that with Cody or Barry, he hasn't been sneaky with anyone, and at least when he was with Kevin, we were broke up. So, why be sneaky now? Because there is a reason to be, he's not single." Cheston shook his head. "He cares about it, I know he does, but, he just...it's him."

Gavin looked down. "You know what scares me, why I get scared for him? Because I wonder when the day comes that everyone gives up on him, that day will come. Jaemin tried not to give up, look where it drove him."

"So, what? You think I'll do the same thing?" Cheston asked.

"I don't know, I just think that people who hang on...they get driven to their limits." Gavin said.

"Well, I'm not giving up yet, he needs control, I know how to do that, you take every option away. When he had a drug problem, I took his medication away, locked them up, locked up the knife drawer, no guns for him to find, no drugs, no suicide."

Rayne let out a breath with the smallest hint of a laugh. "Not suicide proof, there are so many methods."

"Well, he wasn't exactly suicidal, I just locked the knife drawer anyway." Cheston said.

"So what's your plan? Take away his credit card, take him off the accounts? Take his cell phone, his car? Make sure to check his pants for pocket change so he can't walk to a pay phone to get picked up? I mean...to force someone out of an affair, you'd literally have to make sure they couldn't contact that person or get to that person." Rayne shook her head. "Pretty difficult."

"Well, I don't want to be a monster. And all that sounds harsh and cruel, might as well say I'd be making him a prisoner. I'm hoping I can just talk to him." Cheston expressed.

"You're talking about someone who's been going through guys since his sophomore year." Gavin chimed in.

"Yeah, well, I kind of don't need the negativity. I just need to think. Thanks Gavin...for telling the truth and...thanks Rayne for helping out, it made sense of it all."

"Sorry that it had to be that." Rayne said.

"Me too, bye." Cheston hung up and tossed his phone on the coffee table, the saddest expression on his face.

"And this is it...paradise in my backyard." Miracle stepped out onto the back porch and smiled.

Godfrey followed him and his own smile formed. "Wow, you wouldn't imagine this was here. The front makes it look like a forest cabin...and then you come out to this."

Miracle turned around and looked at him. "It's like it's hidden, only for those that are supposed to have it." He walked down the steps and looked at the wooden picnic table that sat just a little ways from the steps but still remained in the shade of the trees along the side of the house. "Unfortunately, people know about it now." He nodded to the picnic table. "I remember that, we ate lunch there a lot."

He followed Miracle down the steps and into the sand. "Didn't you plan on bribing the place back?"

"Yeah, just haven't exactly gotten to it yet." Miracle turned around. "I guess sometimes I procrastinate. We talked about whether or not my mom saved the furniture, she had for a while, but felt it was useless to pay the storage fee." Miracle shook his head. "It's kind of a shame, we could of made it all be exactly the same again."

Godfrey smiled. "The furniture isn't what makes this place special, it's the memories that count, and all the new ones that you could make here." He looked out at the water and took Miracle's hand.

"You're right." Miracle smiled and followed him to the water and stepped into it as the shallow waves rolled up onto the sand and soaked their bare feet, they each wore a pair of black swimming trunks they had bought from a small shop on the way to the cabin.

"So...how do you...enjoy the ocean?" Godfrey asked.

Miracle grinned. "Seriously?"

"I told you...there's a lot of stuff that...either I've just forgotten or..I feel awkward about."

Miracle nodded in understanding and kept a hold of his hand. "Well, first you get in it." He laughed and started to walk in further, leading Godfrey with him as he headed into the ocean.

Godfrey followed Miracle as the water rose above their knees and soon reached their waists as the waves crashed around them and he laughed nervously. "Shouldn't we stop? We might get washed away."

Miracle nodded and turned towards Godfrey and smiled. "I like this...giving you these experiences. You're nervous, it's a little funny."

Godfrey continued to laugh. "Just be glad I like you, anyone else that thought my nervousness was funny, well, I would feel bad."

Miracle took both of his hands into his own and stepped closer to him. "You can't feel bad here, like you said, it's a paradise. I look out...and there is nothing to block your way, it's like...if you just wanted to go, you could. It's like...seeing a whole world out there, and it looks endless...because there are no blocks, no walls, no...barriers."

"No boundaries." Godfrey said.

"Yeah." Miracle looked up at him and then stepped back, letting go of his hands and then playfully splashed him and laughed.

Godfrey shut his eyes and turned his head away, his arms moved up defensively and he laughed. "Hey...that was cue for another kiss." He smiled and lowered his arms and looked at Miracle. "At least...I hoped for it."

"I know." Miracle grinned. "That's why you do the unpredictable. It's different, exciting. You expect the kiss." Miracle walked closer again. "You want the kiss...but, it just doesn't happen." He laughed. "And if it were a movie, the audience probably hates it, and throws popcorn at the screen. Which is okay, if people wanted to throw popcorn at me, lets have a food fight."

Godfrey grinned, yet his mouth hung open and he shook his head. "A food fight? Really?"

"Well, when I think of one, I remember when my friend got into an actual fight with my other friend in the lunch room, unfortunately my better friend got her ass kicked...but, it was still a good fight." Miracle laughed.

Godfrey suddenly grabbed Miracle with both hands, his fingers slipping behind his ears to the back of his head while his thumbs rested at the front side, just below his temples and he leaned forward and kissed him, suddenly pulling him down and beneath the water, the kiss breaking only a second to give them both time to gasp in a breath, then he pressed his lips to Miracle's again.

Caught off guard? Surprised? You know it, especially as nervous as Godfrey seemed about the ocean. His eyes shut as they went beneath the water and he wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him close, smooth bare chests pressing against one another as Miracle pulled him close. After several seconds, both of them came up from beneath the water just as the kiss broke and their eyes opened.

Godfrey blinked several times and shook his head.

Miracle grinned. "Where did that come from?"

"I...wanted to impress you...and surprise you...and excite you." Godfrey said, catching his breath.

Miracle let go of him. "You did, all of the above."

"Good, I hoped that I would." He smiled.

"We should probably get back." Miracle said.

Erica sat in the computer chair while Jeremy pulled up a kitchen chair and sat beside her.

Cheston sat in front of his computer, but his head was down turned. "Sorry that I can't look at the screen, but I'm kind of monitoring something right now."

Jeremy shook his head. "So what's going on?"

"I thought I would let you both know that your son is relapsing again." Cheston said. "And I'm really not shy about sharing my opinions, but I really don't know why the two of you live here, when...neither of you ever pay attention to Miracle, much less visit him...ever."

Erica frowned. "We were under the opinion that he was okay."

Jeremy's eyes narrowed. "You know, naturally, that makes me angry. Though, I'll admit that it's the truth." He looked at Erica. "It's true, we have been neglectful of Miracle."

"We had dinner with him." Erica shook her head. "So, what do you mean, he relapsed?"

"I mean, he's back to his old pattern, his therapy isn't helping him, his medication does nothing more but keep his rages in check, most of the time. In all reality, I think as soon as he left the psyche ward, you dropped him off on his own, and the two of you took off, that was one huge mistake. Though, Jeremy, I do have to give you credit for at least staying close. But, you didn't care to follow when he came to Vegas." Cheston said, his head still turned down.

Jeremy stared at Cheston. "Okay, well, you're his husband, why don't you start taking some of your own responsibility here? As his parents, yes, we should always be there for him, but he isn't a child anymore, it isn't entirely up to us to take care of him. You joined the club when you put that ring on his finger."

"That's why I'm getting the club together right now. So we're together, he is off with some guy, he's been gone since last night. I'm wondering how I'm going to deal with him when he gets home." Cheston said.

"Okay, well, when he gets back, call us over there, we will all be there, we can discuss our options." Jeremy suggested.

"Well, I'd like to think I could handle it on my own, but honestly, the only way to stop him, at this point, in my mind, would be to imprison him. Now...for me to do that, it would be very cruel, and rather inappropriate. I've considered another psychiatric admission. As his husband, I could have it done, I'm sure his doctor would be very agreeable with me. But, I have enough respect for you as my in laws, not to do that just on my decision alone." Cheston sighed.

"Maybe he has a point." Erica said.

"I don't think so." Jeremy shook his head, though he sounded unsure of himself. "It just seems like another psychiatric admission would regress him, it's like prison, you lock someone up, when they get out, they just go back to their old crimes, do the same things that got them put in there to begin with."

"So, what are your ideas? I'm starting to run fresh out." Cheston mumbled, loud enough to be heard, however.

Jeremy took a deep breath. "I think the answer is...whatever we do, we keep him on the outside." He paused. "It's just the answer that...I'm lacking. I mean...he was in a psychiatric ward for months...and then I put him in a home on his own, I did stay with him for a while before I left."

"And?" Cheston questioned.

"Well, the plan was to try and help Miracle live in the real world, learn how to date, learn how to know the difference between normal attraction, normal...relationships, and the symptoms of his sickness. We taught him the guidelines, taught him boundaries. Then...he was supposed to find independence, I couldn't get him a job to save his life, something always went wrong. So, I got him as ready as I could, then I moved a short distance away, I let him go...to see what would happen." Jeremy looked up at the computer.

"And then he snagged the first guy he could, Andy. Of course, he was merely a security blanket." Cheston said. "You should of realized it then."

"Well, I knew that was destroying the idea of independence, but from what I knew, it seemed like he was sticking to the boundaries, he didn't even seem interested in Andy in that way." Jeremy said.

Erica shook her head. "What does it matter? That was Colorado, it's the past, just like New York doesn't matter, it all sucked. The question is what to do now."

"We're caught between a wall and a rock, you really can't do anything without imprisoning him." Cheston looked up briefly and then looked down at what he was monitoring again.

"You don't think he can be reasoned with?" Jeremy asked.

"Didn't you both try that? You taught him boundaries, so you say, you taught him rules, you explained life to him, has it done any good? Maybe for a few years, but really...I just think that was Jaemin Grief Syndrome, and those days seem to be over." Cheston shook his head.

"I just...want something that is going to work. And you need to be more involved, he loves you both, yet it's like you all put a wall up between each other, he never talks about you, and...you guys, you just aren't there. Maybe that's why it's started? He's looking for more love because he should have more in his life, not just from me, and he was taught to get love from anywhere he can, to replace any love he's not getting...and to do whatever he has to...in order to try and get it."

"When do you think he will be home?" Erica asked.

"Not sure, I hope today, it would provide mild comfort that maybe he didn't sleep with this guy, I don't have a reason to believe that he would lie to me." Cheston said.

"Okay, well, let us know when he comes home...and we will be on our way over, we'll take our time, give you guys a little chance for space and then...we'll all get together." Erica suggested.

"Good idea." Cheston reached over and disconnected the Skype call.

Miracle walked back inside and smiled at Godfrey. "I love the ocean, it's my favorite place."

Godfrey smiled. "I can see why, it's beautiful. I couldn't imagine living here. You must of..had a great life."

Miracle slowly nodded. "For the short five years I lived it...and what little I can remember of it." He grabbed his phone and turned it on. "I need to check for any texts from Gavin. He's probably dying for more excuses." Miracle laughed.

Cheston finally saw Miracle's GPS appear on the map, once he knew Miracle's phone was on, he immediately went into the contacts and hit Miracle's name and brought the phone to his ear.

Miracle's eyes widened when Cheston's name and picture popped up. "Oh, crap."

"What?" He looked at Miracle.

"I think...the jig is up."

Godfrey started laughing. "You sound like a 30's movie. Where are the towels?"

"Eh...I hope this can be funny..." Miracle answered and put it on speaker phone. "Hello?"

"Well, hey, stranger. How hard has it been to find you." Cheston said.

Miracle sighed and sat on the floor and put the phone on the coffee table. "My phones been almost dead, I've been having to use it carefully."

Godfrey sat on the couch and stared at the phone.

"Really, and letting me know something..doesn't seem like, important, careful, use? I mean, come on, Miracle, we both know that your nine hours with Gavin, and all your wonderful activities, without you spending a dime on your credit card, kind of hard to believe."

"Cheston, what do you want me to say?" Miracle looked at Godfrey and then to the phone.

"Well, you did use your card, withdrew three hundred dollars here...then did it again in Reno. Is that how much time you two spent in the desert? Driving to Reno? Of course, you would just be getting to Reno just in time to see the sun rising. And is that where you did all the bowling, and then you went to Taco Bell, then what? Managed to drive back here to his house to get swimming trunks, after you decided you didn't want to roller blade and rather went to the pool. But, of course, then you spent hours in the desert driving back from Reno, but Gavin said you did that before you even went bowling, kind of out of order." Cheston wondered what Miracle would say.

Godfrey's eyes widened and he looked at Miracle, not realizing what kind of story he had been weaving with his friend for Cheston. Lots of silly excuses.

Miracle's lips stretched out and his teeth lightly clenched into an odd, but troubled expression. "Well, you got to admit, getting Gavin to lead you on was a bit funny, right?"

"Sure, if you like stressing your poor friend to death." Cheston said.

Miracle sighed. "Look, I just...I came to New York because I wanted to see Jaemin's grave and..."

"Save it." Cheston interrupted. "You're in Pacifica, you're at the Cabin. How do you think I knew when you turned your phone on? Your GPS popped up. And I know you're not alone. Rayne told me about your, yet to be named, friend. Don't be mad at her, we thought you were kidnapped for a second. That's reasonable, right? With Rumor over our heads."

Godfrey looked at the phone and then looked at Miracle, knowing it best that he not say anything.

"Fine, but this is why I did it the way I did, because I knew you would all say this about me." Miracle shook his head.

"Right, sure. You've introduced me to every friend you've had or made except this one. And Rayne told me all about how you had to be around him. You're feeling that pull right? That little love addiction of yours? The excitement, the thrill...it's all getting to you."

"Cheston! Nothing has happened!" Miracle screamed at the phone.

"Really? Nothing at all? That surprises me." Cheston said, sarcastically.

"You know what, I'm gonna tell the truth, you all can throw stones at me, put me up, burn me like Joan of Arc, what the hell ever, but, at least I told the truth! We kissed, happy? Yes, we fucking kissed, but that's all we have done since we met!" Miracle sighed in frustration.

Godfrey shook his head and fell back into the cushions of the couch.

"Okay...you kissed. And when did you meet? I want to know how long, how much restraint you had."

"We met at The Four Seasons, the first night, when Barry and I went down to the bar."

"Oh...so about a few days." Cheston nodded. "You got me on speaker phone, right? He there with you?"

Miracle rubbed the sides of his head. "Yes you're on speaker phone. Why?"

Cheston grinned. "Pretend I'm not your husband, instead...I'm just a voice in your head, rather, I'm your sickness calling you, pulling at your thoughts."

Miracle made a weird face.

"Look into his eyes, let yourself fall to that temptation you feel growing, you can't stay away, you can't deny it. Oh no, you have to taste..and experience...because he's looking at you, and you know deep down inside, he just wants to rip your clothes off..and take you for everything that you are, he wants to own you, take your innocence, make it his, he wants to possess you."

Miracle and Godfrey shared a look and they stared at each other, but it wasn't in the way that Cheston was telling them to. Miracle wasn't sure what Godfrey was thinking, but he was wondering what had gotten into Cheston.

Cheston continued speaking. "And your husbands on the phone, he just found out about your affair. You reflect back to when you were in danger, you thought about tying him up and letting Nik fuck you right in front of him. How hot would it be, to give in to this man, with your husband on the phone listening, and what you won't know...is that he will be on the line...jerking off to every second of it."

Miracle tore his gaze away from Godfrey and grabbed the phone. "What the hell are you doing?! What are you saying?!"

"Oh, come on." Cheston laughed sarcastically. "You guys had to have gotten turned on a little, at the thought, admit it. The point of that, Miracle, is that...if you are going to be with someone who is twisted, you have be twisted yourself, maybe even more twisted than the one you're with."

"Cheston...that's crap, you just want to get rid of me." Miracle said.

"If I wanted to get rid of you, I could...and I would. You see, Jaemin had it right when he held onto you, possessed you, owned you, but he was a softy, let you run all over him until he couldn't take it anymore. Where he went wrong...was the fact that, to be with you...a person has to live outside this world because you live outside this world. David twisted your brain, and no amount of years will wire it back right, so to be with you, one has to twist their own wires, and maybe, if you get shocked enough, well, they got shock therapy for a reason, that's a metaphor."

Godfrey's eyebrows lifted at Cheston's reaction to the whole thing.

Miracle listened to everything he said. "You know what, if I wanted to be a bitch, I'd do everything you just said."

"Yeah...and I'd film myself for you and send it to your phone, just to prove what I was doing while I listened to what you were doing." Cheston said, his tone still sarcastic as ever.

Miracle started pacing the room and he couldn't help but to laugh. "Oh my god, I'm sorry...but when our arguing is this twisted...yeah, okay." He nodded. "Now do you want to keep this up, or are you going to be serious? Because I'm ruining the living room, the ocean is dripping off of me, if you're going to keep acting like a jerk, I'm hanging up and going to dry off."

"I'll be serious when you get home. Then again, I might just stay like I am, come and see." Cheston then hung up.

Miracle looked at the phone and his eyes widened. "Hang up on me!" He slammed the phone on the coffee table.

"Wow..." Godfrey looked up at Miracle. "Are you okay?" He watched Miracle, finally his thoughts and feelings were coming together about the entire thing. He really felt sorry for Miracle, for how he had just been treated, part of him, as premature as he knew these feelings should be, wanted to keep Miracle away.

"No." Miracle looked at Godfrey. "It's all ruined. Everything had been just how I wanted it, everything was going just how it was supposed to, and...now it's all gone to hell."

"Even us?" He asked.

Miracle looked down at him from where he sat on the couch. "You hate me? Think I'm a two faced bitch for wanting to stay married, and see where we went? That's me, the greedy little bitch, so long as I let that dirty old David do whatever he wanted to me, I didn't have to pick a toy, I got two, three, if I wanted five, I got them, so long as he got me."

Godfrey's eyes widened and he immediately stood up. "You come here, right now." He spoke in a firm tone, one that held a deep rage under the surface.

Miracle stared at him. "Why?"

Godfrey closed his eyes, as if trying to hold back his anger, he then opened them and looked at Miracle. "I said, come here."

Miracle walked over to him and looked up at him.

Godfrey grabbed Miracle by the shoulders with a rough tightness and held onto him firmly, his tone remaining as it was. "You are none of those things, don't even utter those words about yourself. To see you do that makes me want to destroy everything around me." He then yanked Miracle close and wrapped him up in the tightest hug.

Miracle listened to him and his eyes widened and he gasped as he was yanked forward into that hug, his arms smashed between their chests and his eyes closed, never had anyone reacted that way to his negative self talk, he didn't know rage could be so passionate until that moment, he knew it now.