Trigger The Years Past - 5. Chapter 5: Scar

Miracle heard a knock on Cheston's door and opened it to find Andy standing there.

"By the way, I'm moving out, here's the address and phone number? On a pink heart shaped sticky note from valentines?! Miracle, what are you thinking?! Or are you thinking at all?!" Andy starts ranting, clearly upset.

Cheston hears the commotion and walks to the door. "What's going on?"

"What's going on?" Andy looked at Cheston and pushed past Miracle as he stepped in.

"Andy stop! I'm an adult! It's my choice!" Miracle said.

"Yeah, your choice to avoid being an adult!" Andy then looked at Cheston. "So what happened? Miracle tell you his sob stories? You must feel the need to be his knight and shining armor, protect him from the world? Do you realize at all that all you are doing by doing that is hurting him?"

"How is protecting someone hurting them?" Cheston stared at Andy.

"Because, you obviously know very little, despite whatever he has told you. Your reaction is the same and he reacts to it the same, it's like pathological for him or something! Do you realize that Jaemin did that very thing? And I'm sure you heard about him. Yeah, he did that very thing for Miracle, so much so that when he was gone, it broke Miracle, it destroyed him. He had no words, he couldn't think, he stayed in a psychological facility for months like a lifeless robot with nothing! Then his parents force him out, put him up in a house and leave town, force him into independence. He comes to my bar, thinking I'd illegally give him a drink! Had I not befriended him that day, he probably would have went back to that little blue house and faded..." Andy trailed off, shaking his head.

"I don't intend to let that happen." Cheston slowly shook his head.

"You can't parent him, you can't baby him, you can't become David because that is what Jaemin did. He'll come to you for everything, he'll act helpless, he'll cry, and you will feel so heart broken, and it'll feel so easy and so tempting just to take him up and take care of it and make it all better for him, and the more you do, the longer you do it, the more he will cling and attach and depend, and once he reaches total dependency, if you end up gone, he won't know what to do with himself, he will be just like before." Andy explained.

"I know you care about him, and honestly I appreciate you telling me all of these things, they make sense with what he's told me and it seems vitally important. I am not trying to take him away. You or anyone else in his life are welcome any time, day or night. He has his free will, though I intend to advise him if I see him driving right into a mistake, I'm sorry, you don't just let people do that when you see it happening. I want to try to help him and that is what I intend to do, so long as he'll let me." Cheston nodded.

Andy looked at Miracle and then backed out of the door. "Well, for Miracle's sake, you better not hurt him..." He trailed off, leaving his threat at that, light, but to the point as he turned around and headed off the porch.

Miracle watched Andy leave and then shut the door and sighed. "I'm sorry, he just really cares. It's my doctor, she is really hell bent on my independence...and for good reason, I guess."

Cheston nodded. "Well, you need independence, strong independence, it's just going to take time. You need a job and we'll figure something out for you."

Miracle grinned. "Think you could get me on jury duty? That would be fun."

"You have to be twenty five or older...for starters." He grinned at Miracle.

"Maybe I can just call tip lines and hope to win the money." Miracle laughed.

"Till they catch you." Cheston headed to the kitchen and grabbed his cup of coffee off the counter.

"I could be a baby sitter....but kids scare me. The way they look at you...and you don't know what they are thinking." Miracle leaned across the counter from the living room side.

"Have you ever thought about adopting a kid?" Cheston asked.

Miracle laughed. "Oh no...that isn't me. I...no."

"What about marriage? If the possibility ever came up?"

"I don't know." Miracle said, thoughtfully. "I don't like the word husband, like, I just don't like the word. Boyfriend sounds better, rolls off the tongue better, sounds cuter. I just never liked the words husband or wife, I associate husband with peanut butter and wife with waffles."

Cheston's eyebrows lifted. "Odd word associations."

"I wish I could scramble letters and make up words, I'd make up my own word for it. I get wife. W is for woman and ife is for life. So you get wife. And husband, well band could be the wedding band, the ring, which that part I don't mind, it's the hus part that I hate." Miracle shrugged. "I'm just weird like that."

"Hus, the H stands for him, but now married, it's us, that is how you get hus." Cheston grinned, playing along.

"Oh, you found it." Miracle ran his hands over the sides of his head.

"Well, I guess, one day, I know it's way to soon to even be talking about it, if we make it that far, and I ask, I'll have to hope you don't reject me for that reason." Cheston grinned.

"Make me love you forever and see." Miracle grinned.

"I'll have to start, after work, if you don't have plans." Cheston checked his watch.

"Like I said, I did get that movie gig without that slimey contract, so I don't know what's going with that, hopefully I'll be available." Miracle smiled and when Cheston came around the counter, he leaned up and kissed him. "Have fun getting justice and pissing people off all in one go."

Cheston pulled back after the kiss and laughed. "I always do." He then headed for the garage to leave.

Miracle sighed and looked around. "This is a house...Question is...does it creak? I wonder what he'd think of that." He grinned.

"I can't believe Miracle would do that." Sterling sat at the table. "No, wait, actually I can. I just don't get how...he hasn't changed."

"He has changed Sterling, he really has, no one said it was for the better or that it was drastic or even that noticeable." Andy sat across from him and scratched his head.

"Yeah, well I got a little ultimatum for him. He moves his ass back here or his little friend gets it."

Andy looked at Sterling. "Gavin? There's enough rooms in that house, he'd have his pick, doubt that would phase Miracle." He shook his head. "Part of me wonders if Miracle even gives a fuck about him now at all. I kind of feel sorry for the kid, he lives here, it was all because of Miracle, then he bails, and even while he was here, none of us cared or even now try to befriend him. He seems to try to reach out, in small moments and then he goes back to his room."

"Well, I really don't see where he fits in really. He tried to like Miracle, I honestly think in a more than friendly way, and he was way to subtle for it to knock Miracle over the head, even so, would Miracle be interested? Oddly, as it is, Miracle's birth dad came back into his life and now he's into an older guy? Given not old enough to be his father, but there is an age gap." Sterling said.

"Probably like a seven year difference, the guy isn't that old, his early thirties, middle maybe, at the highest." Andy looked at Sterling. "So what, you think he's trying to supplement his dad? That would be kind of...twisted."

"Can you get anymore twisted than Miracle?" Sterling asked.

"Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Gacy, Jodi Arias...." Andy trailed off.

"I didn't mean in a homicidal way." Sterling rolled his eyes. "And sticking Jodi Arias in that list is like sticking an orange into an apple pile."

Andy started laughing. "It's like those word games, pick the one that doesn't fit."

"That was an easy one." Sterling took a sip of his soda.

"Okay...try this." Andy grinned. "Jodi Arias, Casey Anthony, Ariel Castro..."

Sterling looked at Andy like he was insane. "How does that work? Casey got away with it, so we don't know if she really did anything or not, and Ariel didn't kill anyone."

"Precisely. So again...poor Jodi don't belong." Andy laughed.

"But wait...Ariel killed a bunch of babies, forced abortions." Sterling pointed at Andy. "I think we're at a stand off. Unless we agree that Casey doesn't belong."

"Fine." Andy crossed his arms. "We shouldn't be making a game of those things anyway, the forced abortions make me feel horrible." He frowned.

"We don't have lives." Sterling looked around. "We need to make lives...."

The door opened and Cheston walked in, seeing Miracle standing in front of the lit fire place. "Miracle, hey."

Miracle lightly poked at the fire with the fire poker. "It was a lonely day." Miracle pulled the fire poker out and turned around. "I did a kind of house...inspection. It has a lot of creaks, you know, some of the doors and the stairs...and some spots on the floor."

Cheston sat his brief case down and raised his eyebrows. "Creaks?"

"I'm a bit obsessive compulsive about creaks...if people are sleeping in the house, and you want to wander around without risking waking them up, because of the creaks, they make noise." Miracle walked over to Cheston and looked up at him.

"Well, I get that might be annoying, if you want to wander alone, but if something happened...I might not know."

"You mean if I got...upset and..." Miracle looked down.

"Yeah, if something like that were to happen, I would be lucky if a creak did wake me up." Cheston lightly grasped Miracle's upper arms and pulled him close. "I missed you all day. I haven't had a reason to not want to be at work for a long time. I wanted to be home terribly."

"Still weird living together and not sharing a room." Miracle said.

"In time, I wanted you close and...I know it breaks the slow boundary, to a point. Doesn't mean that it's diving in, just means we're closer, faster." Cheston wrapped his arms around Miracle. "And I want to enjoy your company...and having you here, and the night that you come to my bed, when the moment is right...I think it'll be perfect."

Miracle grinned momentarily. "I think about it." He eased back. "Though, if you're so worried about my safety...wouldn't I be safer beside you than in the room next door? I mean...think about it."

Cheston drew in a breath and let go of Miracle. "I have, and...I searched your room."

Miracle's eyes widened. "You searched my room? Cheston...don't you think that's a little...invasion of privacy? That kind of...makes me feel like I'm in the psyche ward again." Miracle turned as Cheston walked around him. "Thank god for my meds, when my, then, adoptive brother did it, I went off on him...I mean, I already gave you my medications, you manage them, so it's not like I can repeat OD."

"I had to be sure that you didn't sneak any knives in there."

"Knives?" Miracle shook his head. "That's insane, I wouldn't risk scarring myself and living with it. I mean, come on, this might sound slightly narcissistic, but a scar would ruin me."

"What do you think a train would of done to you?" Cheston turned around. "If, by miracle, no pun intended, you survived it?"

Miracle's eyes shifted to the side. "Okay, got a point."

"Well, I have a fix it." Cheston walked into the kitchen, Miracle following after him. "I installed this metal hook this morning." He gestured towards the slightly thick hook just above one of the kitchen drawers, it was nothing flimsy. "It's the knife drawer." He then hooked a padlock through the hook and the handle of the drawer and locked it. "I have the key."

Miracle's eyebrows lifted. "I feel like Jennifer Lopez.."

"Miracle, you have to understand." Cheston turned around. "I've learned very little about you, and among the first of the things that I've learned are very horrible, not of you, not about you, just...things that make me cautious about...your well being. And Andy only hammered the nails deeper into my head this morning."

"So you know little about me?" Miracle questioned. "So...in your inspection...you didn't look...through anything?" Miracle shook his head. "Why not? I mean weren't you the least bit curious, just to find out some new facts, while you had the chance?"

Cheston closed his eyes. "I did...look at some things, I'm sorry." He looked up at Miracle. "I don't know if you have this effect on everyone, but you make me naturally curious, it's like...if I could just look, maybe I'd find just some little thing, even if it didn't matter, just some little part of you to know."

"I have that effect on some people, for various reasons. What did you find? The locket? Because that's fine, it's in the box on the dresser, I don't hide it, though maybe I should lock box it for protection because I care about that more than anything I own, ranking just above the picture beside the box."

"The locket, which is very beautiful, as is the picture." Cheston smiled. "I'll take you to a beach, I'll run in the waves with you."

"Can you find one that's super private? Because I can't stand sharing the ocean with a bunch of partying vacationers, unless I'm in the mood to be one too." Miracle said.

"I think that's possible." Cheston smiled a little and then it faded. "And the picture, which one is Jaemin?"

"Eyeliner, spiked dog collar, matching cuffs? That's Jaemin, my initial attraction to him was the darkness. Kind of like what you have, not so much the same, but you're older, the tall, dark and handsome type."

Cheston smiled briefly and then looked down. "And then there was a shoe box."

"The shoe box." Miracle nodded. "Well, it's safe to say that you didn't find the blackmail I had on Daniel, I got rid of that a long time ago."

"Blackmail?" Cheston asked.

"He was my old teacher from sophomore year. We had a sexual affair, I filmed us once and then after, he hit me because we got in an argument and I grabbed the camera from where I hid it and ran out. Tried to blackmail him, he didn't care, sure had some guts. He went to the school board, told them I was stalking him and I got expelled."

"Why didn't you use the video?" Cheston asked.

"Because the point of it was not to expose him, it was to get what I wanted, so when I didn't, I saw no point, I kept it though. So when we moved from Australia to New York, my junior year, well right after the end of it, my friends begged me to send a copy to them with a note speaking my peace. So I did and then got rid of any others that existed. I tried to blackmail Brad the same way, the one that attacked me with his friends, yeah, he found it and so...I learned blackmail was not such a safe game. Then a new friend later found it herself and found way more uses for it and twisted a lot of things up and it ended up stuck in a bashed up computer tower." Miracle nodded.

"Blackmail isn't safe." Cheston shook his head. "So, since that obviously wasn't in there, I just saw other things, letters, pictures, stuff like that."

"Yeah, that was from my time in Australia." Miracle nodded. "You'd think it was a box of love letters when really it's just crappy sexual emails with handwriting font and a notebook template. I made them like that, I would copy and paste the emails that way and print them out so that I could keep them."

"You really wanted to be loved." Cheston stated.

"Yeah, I would fold them up and toss them in there and I could just open the box and glance at them and not really read them and pretend I have a whole bunch of love letters, sometimes I would read them though, to remind myself of the truth. And then there are pictures, some of the guys would actually go out and do things with me, they knew how to be friends with benefits, others just wanted the benefits, maybe one time or maybe on going, sometimes it would be their call or mine. Sometimes I would leave happy, really happy. I could be going to see one guy Monday and a different guy by Wednesday, and I'd be leaving and hoping this time would be it, then I would come home, wrecked, crushed."

Miracle looked down and continued. "Thankfully my adoptive parents weren't very watchful of me. Know what happened when Daniel accused me of what he did? They just told me not to do it again, that was that. Hunter, my now step brother, he always tried to reach out, but I wouldn't let him, I didn't want to look pathetic. The only person who ever knew everything about me at that time was my only friend, Lacey."

"Miracle, I'm sorry, but I'm glad you feel like you can tell me these things. They are important to me." Cheston nodded.

"Eric, the stalker, mob boss guy." Miracle grinned mockingly. "He was the last guy in Australia. I met him at the hotel the night before we were to leave. We met in an elevator and we went to his room and it happened and then when he was done, he just got off the bed and started getting dressed. 'Least some would stay with me, let the warmth linger...but the cold set in." Miracle looked up. "He gets dressed and tells me I was great and to be gone by the hour, before he brings his fiance back from dinner."

Cheston shook his head slowly.

"I didn't go no damn where. I got dressed, there was a pack of pop corn. Set the microwave to work and then sat back and found something on television, didn't even make the bed. They came back and I met them at the door just as they came in, basically told the woman what Eric and I did and then I told Eric I forgot to make the bed, walked out and ran off." Miracle crossed his arms. "The revenge felt so good in the heat of the moment...then I cried and I went back to my parents hotel room, walked in crushed, like all the other times and went into the ajoining room I shared with my brother and went to bed. Had I known who Eric would come to be..." Miracle trailed off.

"There was...a diary in it too." Cheston said.

"Yeah, I took up a lot of writing time in the psyche ward, even back tracked."

"I read the part about what David did and how you still think about the images always existing out there somewhere." Cheston walked over to the island and leaned forward on his arms, staring across at Miracle. "It's a torturous thought."

"But a true one." Miracle looked up. "Are they on old hard drives? Maybe packed away in old boxes somewhere? Hell they could still be on the computers or even the net for all I know. It's like I told Issac once...or I tried to tell him, people will look through their childhood pictures and think about all the happy memories and...every time I look at any of mine, I have to wonder if there is some stranger out there, sharing fond memories with me."

Cheston walked around the island and wrapped his arms around Miracle. "Well, those people are creeps. And I want you to keep that very thought in mind. That contract you brought me? That photographer guy? He was going to do the very same thing, and those will never go away, in fact, in this age of technology, so heavily used, they'd likely hang around longer and people would know you from them if they saw you."

"True." Miracle nodded. "I just...wonder if that should matter. I mean...before it was my innocence. Now it would be my choice."

"I still think you should give it to me and let me burn it." Cheston said. "I really wish you would."

"I want to." Miracle pulled away and turned to him. "But what if it lead to bigger and better things? Some of the biggest celebrities started from dirt cheap places and made it big that way, now they get respectable jobs and no one even knows it anymore. Do you have any better ideas for a career?"

"I bet you could just go and hang around the building and get jobs, you got one just walking out of it." Cheston said.

"Be a job hooker?" Miracle grinned. "By the way, Conner wants to know if we can use the house for my house, and it kinda is my house now, well I live in it, he also wanted to know if you'd play my dad, since I'm kind of playing a teenager again." Miracle laughed.

"Play your dad?" Cheston grinned. "I would love to, as funny and odd as that would be, but I'm an attorney with a reputation to uphold. As far as the house goes, you guys can use it. Just don't mess it up to bad."

"Okay, you're loss, kinda my loss, I thought it would be funny." Miracle smiled and then heard the door bell. "That's the first time I've heard it...so big and rich like."

Cheston grinned. "Yep, you want to change it? I'd love to hear your ideas." He headed through the living room.

"Well, it could play like those grand father clocks, like a creepy Halloween one and make you think death is near!" Miracle ran and hopped after Cheston and then stopped when he opened the door to Jeremy. Miracle's eyes widened. "Speaking of...dad's."

Cheston looked between Jeremy and Miracle. "Speaking of dad's?" His gaze fell on Jeremy. "Oh, you must be Miracle's..."

"Yeah, I'm Miracle's father, with a lot of bones to pick." He walked inside, since Cheston granted him the room to do so. "Miracle?"

"What did I do?" Miracle looked around. "Look where I live, I'm moving on up, like the Jefferson." He slightly smiled.

"Okay...first pole dancing, then moving guys into your home...before meeting guys and moving into their home, having Andy lie about everything, taking a job without credentials, not learning anything, popping your pills with champagne..." Jeremy's eyes widened as he stared at Miracle.

"Okay, Dad, first, I quit the pole dancing and I don't pop pills with champagne anymore, in fact, Cheston manages my medications now, serves them as directed. And okay, I know, moving in with him, but we don't even share a bed room. In fact, he stopped me from becoming a trashy porn model and wants me to give up the contract." Miracle nodded.

"A contract? You have a contract? Hand it over, right now!" Jeremy yelled.

Cheston swung the door shut and stood back, watching on, uncomfortably.

Miracle started laughing. "That is so funny, all of this independence crap and yet when it all seems fit, it's time to age me down and order me around." Miracle paused. "God, me and the rhyming."

Jeremy sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm not doing that, Miracle we are not trying to push you into independence. Who has said anything about you being in the independence stage right now? We are trying to slowly introduce it to you." He opened his eyes. "But you still need the guidance."

"Well I'm not ready to hand over the contract, is it really hurting someone if it just sits somewhere? I'm on my medication, I'm under control, it's not like I'm going to go into a fit, sign it and take off. I am giving it careful thought." Miracle explained.

"Do you know how much it would kill me if you did that to yourself? How much it already kills me that it already happened to you beyond your control?" Jeremy shook his head. "Don't do that to me, Miracle...and don't do that to yourself. I remember having you as a child, so innocent and you were so happy."

Miracle turned away from Jeremy. "Don't talk about those times, they just start to upset me." His voice suddenly started to crack up. "They don't exist anymore." He turned and looked at Jeremy again. "But if you wanted to do something to make me happy, you would go and find mom and you would love her again...and you would put our family back together."

Jeremy sighed. "I can't do that and...you know all the reasons why."

"Why?! I got Martha out of my life, why should I be stuck with Craig?! Okay, he's a good guy, way to go! But in the end, you were the hero, you found all the evidence, the proof, you fed the cops everything!"

"But I didn't catch who I really needed to catch. Maybe if I had..."

"Don't blame yourself." Miracle sighed. "He would of come to his conclusion anyway, something would of jogged him and he would of done it anyway."

"Maybe not." Jeremy looked down.

Miracle shook his head. "Well, are you going to yell at Cheston? Do the old dad thing that I've always heard of? You would think I would find the protectiveness nice, but I really feel safe here. He even pad locked the freakin knife drawer so I couldn't get into it."

"Pad locked the knife...drawer?" Jeremy looked up at Cheston.

"I would rather be safe than horribly sorry after all I've heard...and I don't even think I've heard everything." He looked down. "I promise you that your sons in good hands. I don't want to hurt him."

Jeremy walked over to Cheston and he slowly nodded. "I hope you don't...for your sake." He looked back at Miracle. "I'll stick around town for a few hours tomorrow. Maybe a breakfast or lunch if you want before I have to head back to Colorado."

Miracle nodded. "Sure, that would be great."

Jeremy looked at Cheston. "Don't let him use that contract, if you can stop him." He mumbled and then walked out after Cheston opened the door back.

Miracle watched his dad leave, tears streaming down his face. "He cares so much."

Cheston walked over to Miracle and wiped his face. "Because you're his son, and you are a wonderful person. Who would want to see someone like you hurt? Only someone without a heart."

"Please let me sleep in your bed tonight, just one time, it'll be just like spending the night or something." Miracle wrapped his arms around Cheston and hugged him, closing his eyes.

"That was Miracle's dad." Sterling pocketed his phone, sitting at a table in the food court of the mall. "He invited me to eat with them tomorrow."

Lacey sipped her drink. "Okay, and? Look, guy, I don't really know you and...well, I'm not trying to be one of those people that look at strangers and wonders why the hell they are getting in my life...but, I have to ask the point of this."

Sterling sighed. "It's Miracle, obviously. Our only connection to each other. My problem is, I can't understand why he will never be with me. I've wanted to be with him for years, given that I've been away from him for a while until recently, but he does what he always does, he sees me, he acknowledges everything, then he turns to someone else."

Lacey's eyebrows lifted. "Want to know what I think?"

"Kind of the point."

"You lack style." Lacey said.

"Now I wish I didn't want to know." Sterling sighed.

"Okay, you know when Miracle came back to Australia to face David? He brought his junior year book. He wanted to show me all of his friends. What amazes me, you've been in the army, years have gone by and...you still look the same, bland and boring. And bland and boring doesn't attract someone who craves the thirst for the thrill like Miracle." Lacey explained.

"Well, I tried not to be bland and boring. I offered to dress up like Jaemin and Miracle told me it wouldn't suit me." Sterling said.

Lacey laughed. "Okay, so you spotted competition and outright offered to imitate competition? That's not what he wants, he wants it to be real. You got this ex army thing going, what's with the shaggy hair? Shave it off, get a tattoo. Maybe you can become a rough guy."

"And remind him of hells angels? I don't think so. Besides, how would that compare to older, tall, dark and handsome attorney?"

Lacey dipped a fry into some ketchup and took a bite. "Hmm...so that's his theme." She said, thoughtfully.

"And I tried being tough, which actually comes naturally to me now, it wasn't an act, he totally resisted."

Lacey twisted a fry and looked at Sterling. "Why do you think he did that?"

"Well, I think he almost didn't want to, but in the end managed to anyway, and once he did, non effective." Sterling shrugged.

"Well, another thing...is that it was you that he slept with right before his suicide attempt." Lacey's eyebrows lifted. "That's really not appealing."

"And I'm to blame for that? I didn't even know his plan." Sterling waved his arms out. "And then by the time all that happened, Jaemin went in for the kill, figuratively speaking."

"Well, you need a make over, for sure, for starters." Lacey said. "Then you need your theme, something that totally combats suits and attorney's, but will be equally as appealing." She sipped her drink. "Miracle would kill me if he knew I was helping. I'm supposed to be his best friend, but he never hangs out with me, hardly at all."

"Well, what's opposite of attorney, besides a criminal? Which isn't a good idea." Sterling said.

"Criminal, odd." Lacey dropped a fry she had picked up. "Jaemin murdered that guy, Brad, and then that girl, Melanie. That made him a murderer and in turn, it made him a criminal, so in a twist, Miracle goes for an attorney, from crime to justice."

"Oh God..." Sterling folded his arms and laid his head down. "His pattern again, psychology..."

"Justice is going to have to play out bad for him, but then he's going to need the next thing to jump to that will make sense." Lacey's eyebrows lifted.

Sterling laughed. "If criminals fail you and justice fails you...what else is there?" He sat up.

"Freedom fighters?" Lacey guessed, turning her head slightly to the side with a small grin.

Sterling's grin remained but his mouth fell open. "Yeah, I don't think I know, want to know, or even be a freedom fighter."

Lacey shrugged. "Just an idea." She took a sip of her drink and looked around the food court. "Better yet...in law and order, the trial is all about solving the mystery and uncovering the truth for the jury." She eyed a store across the way and grinned. "What if the best thing to combat an attorney is a mystery yet uncovered for the jury? Something to really begin to reel them in as it begins to play out, lies become truths and truths become lies, things get tossed back and forth...and those twelve jurors are just there...watching a soap opera unfold, ready for them to really dig their teeth into come deliberation...in that secret room." She grinned.

Sterling stared at Lacey as she really sank her teeth into that story. "Simplify please?"

"Become a mystery man." Lacey said.

"He'd know my voice in two seconds."

"You're mute. Interesting characteristic." Lacey looked at Sterling.

"By the time it unraveled, it would be ruined. I mean if this persona that attracts him is attracting him because it's a mystery, once solved, it's over." Sterling shook his head.

"Yeah, but it's how the mystery persona is represented, if you keep that persona up, make that the real you, then it sticks. Of course the mute part will be a lie and you can talk again...but the disguise can become you, the learned accent, should you come out with one after the mute goes away, can become you, the new personality can become you. It can be real by the time it's all said and done." Lacey grinned.

Gavin sat in the floor of his room, digging through some of the boxes that he'd just brought home that had come from his step dad's sister. He pulled out the video camera and looked at it. "Pretty professional." He laid it aside and then opened a long box that held the professional sound recorder and then a third box which had various items, noting one video tape. "Unnamed Horror." He pulled it out and laughed. "Real original."

Gavin laid the tape aside and then something else sparked his attention as he pulled out another tape. "Miracle's Documentary?" He looked up. "No way." He stuck the small tape into the camera and flipped the side screen out and turned it on.

Cody set the phone to record video and aimed it at Miracle. "So ... what is going through your mind right now?"

"Shut the video off. Please, shut it off now." Miracle said, his voice cracking up.

The cell phone footage had been edited and put together with the rest of the footage on tape. Gavin watched with an utterly deep interest at Miracle's commentary during that first scene, the picture it painted, the truth that it told, yet he just couldn't believe that now he was actually getting to see pieces of Miracle's past in live moving color.

Cody started, the video remained focused and crystal clear.

"It means that..." Miracle let out a sob and then sniffled as he opened his eyes. "It means that I want an identity, I want a me. I don't want to be a memory and a regret, I don't want to be the victim of a child molester, I don't want to be just some ones kid that they adopted for reasons that I don't even know. It means I don't want to just be someones boyfriend." Miracle's eyes finally opened as he took a deep breath. "Or someone's idea of a good time." His eyes shut again and his hands moved over his face.

Gavin sat back, his eyes widened at the information he was getting. He shifted up and sat on the edge of his bed, keeping the camera up and watching as it flipped to the next scene, another camera phone scene that was edited in.

Miracle stepped off the elevator as Cody started filming again and he saw Sarah at the nurses desk. "Hey, Sarah."

Sarah slowly nodded. "Come on."

Cut in the scene

"The food was purchased at two fifteen in the morning, they have the credit card purchase on file. I also managed to speak to the same woman, she said he took the food away and went to the stairs with some dark scary guy." Sarah said

"That's Jaemin and Sterling." Miracle said just before seeing Jaemin assault Sterling and his eyes widened.

"Interesting." Gavin said, pausing the video for a moment. "I wonder how much is actually on here?" He decided to hit play one more time.

Miracle made a weird face. "This seems very ... interviewish."

Melanie smiled and tilted her head to the side. "Next time we'll guest star Jaemin! For now though, all is right, all is well, and anyone who hates us? Well, baby, you can just go to hell." Melanie nodded towards Cody.

Gavin turned the camera off, whether or not there was more on it, he had learned quite a bit of information just off of the few scenes he watched. He laid the camera to the side. "No wonder..." He mumbled and then rubbed the top of his head, closing his eyes, just trying to take those bits and pieces and put them together into some form of a life for him to step into and try to understand.