I guess I'm in love with my I-Phone. With all the applications you can get for it, I'm surprised it's not listed as one of the worlds greatest something or other. Though now that I think about it, the I-Phone should come with an ugly people spotting application for those of us that take a drink from time to time. It sure would've come in handy last night. I'm not saying he was a two but he was definitely a two. *shudders*

I was accused of not making sense the other day...but when I'm this dead sexy I don't have to make sense.

There is a server, let's call him Daniel, who is not that good of a server but the guests really like him. And after screwing up again the other night, I look over at the bartender and say, "He's lucky he's hot because his intelligence isn't going to take him anywhere."

Why isn't Florida called God's Waiting Room?

Ever since I got off the drugs, I'm finding it harder and harder to remain slim. I know, the drugs were killing me and my behavior was erratic at best. But at least I was thin. So what if I was bald, at least I was thin. Now, I'm still bald and at what my friends call a healthy weight...which is code for fat ass. And to make matters worse, the hair that I'm losing on top of my head is now showing up in the craziest places.

Why would your ears need hair? For that matter why would your back, blissfully hair free for thirty-three years suddenly sprout what I can only call a bush? And before you all freak out, I do a bit of manscaping to keep the Sasquatch on my back under control. But it's all a bother really.

And yet instead of going to the gym, I'm sitting here typing this drivel while drinking a beer after I just ate half a pizza. Maybe I deserve this person staring back at me in the mirror.

I guess I really don't want to be perfect anymore. But damn-it all, I am quite happy. Maybe that's all I really need.

Jason