I started this blog, thinking that I was embarking on a journey... learning to accept myself, learning to love myself, and learning who I am. I genuinely didn't think that I would move forward so quickly. I didn't expect things to change as quick as a switch flicking in my head. But they did. Because I was struck by a thunderbolt.

Don't worry - I'm not gonna make you all sick by writing a sycophantic tribute to my guy and how wonderful he is. I think most of you who read this will already know that I found someone right here at GA. And that relationship, however it moves forward, has taught me some fundamental things about myself.I am a fundamentally cautious person - everything I do is calm and considered. However, he makes me spontaneous, and thats probably a good thing. I've fallen head over heels, and that's kinda scary, but wonderful at the same time. I know its early to talk about love.... but thats where I am, and I think thats where he is too.

So the question is, where to now? I mean, once I said the words, "I am Gay" - it seemed so easy just to accept it. It was just so natural a skin to fit into... "I am Gay" - no longer an issue to say the words to myself.... it is only a matter of time before i can say it to other people too. And I know the risks.... I say "gay", other people say "Faggot", "Cocksucker".... well guess what? I'm comfortable with those too. "Faggot"? Yep thats me. "Cocksucker"? Well actually I am quite minded to indulge, so yes, thats me too Throw me an insult? i will wear it like a badge of pride. Sure... those words hurt more when they are said with venom and hatred.... Im sure they will hurt more when they come from my family. But I'm prepared for that. I'm getting stronger....

I have made a good many friends here at GA, who are extremely supportive. Some have given me new perspective. There's Cia, who is incredibly sweet, generous and kind. Joey is wonderful... leaving little messages that never fail to make me smile.... Tarin is a shameless flirt, which makes us kindred spirits. Blue Phoenix is incredibly easy to talk to... I found I genuinely missed him when I was away this week. There are others too (too many to mention probably). Obviously, there is Paya

And there are stories too.... I've never spoken to Dom Luka.... but his stories are incredibly inspirational to me.... I've spoken of my love for the CAP series by Mark Arbour before, and then of course I get escapism with some of the fantasy genre....

So what i'm trying to say in this long rambling post is... well... This site has really helped me in the last few months... and it's not something I find easy to say, but... Thank you ALL OF YOU