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The Joy of Morphine


Nephylim

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So, I have been having a lot of trouble with my back and joints again.

 

I have to admit that since I have not been working it has improved, but it has been a real struggle since I had the really bad episode in February. Usually my acute attacks last a week and then they go away. This time it didn't completely go away at all.

 

The problem I have is that my discs are crumbling. I have a lot of problems with my back generally since I broke it but the disc thing is the scariest because the discs are gradually drying out and will eventually 'pop' That, in itself isn't a huge problem although it will mean more pain more often. The real stinger is that if they 'pop' in the wrong way it could put pressure on the cord and damage it.

 

Doctors are arseholes. Initially I was advised to get cortisone injections but, since I researched it I declined and the consultant hasn't seen me since, despite me asking for a new referral once a year.

 

In the beginning it wasn't such an issue because I wasn't that mobile, but now that the stubborn bitch that I am is pushing the envelope the envelope is pushing back.

 

Various painkillers later I have got to the stage where I am having to face the fact that I can't do everything. That's why I am hoping to be able to avoid having to find another job. i have all sorts of difficulties.

 

If you go through your day and think about how many times you bend or twist and maybe you'll see how hard it is when either you can't or it hurts like a bitch.

 

Soooo.... enough of the whining and feeling sorry for myself. I finally went to my GP and basically said I'm sick and tired of coming here and being sent away because there's nothing more you can do. I am not moving until you do something.

 

So here I am 5 days into a 7 day morphine patch. The idea is that the patch lasts for 7 days then you change it for a new one so that I have a continual slow relase of morphine.

 

Wel... it has its ups and downs.

 

The up side is that the underlying generall constant pain is gone. It doesn't feel as if i am standing on razor blades when I get out of bed and I can actually DO things. I can bend and pick things up.

 

I have cleaned the bathroom floor, rediscovered the colour of my bath and shower, made room in Efans room, sorted out some things to sell on eBay to pay for the August trip cleaned various kitchen appliances and brushed the whole bottom floor including under the furniture.

 

On the down side.

 

Becuase I am not feeling the general pain I have sparked of another severe acute attack and...well... OUCH.

 

Also... i am sleeping. I mean 15 hours a day. I have that strange feeling of being slightly to the left of myself. I am finding it difficult to get the energy to write but when I do i can't stop.

 

My brain is misfiring on all sorts of levels and everything is surreal.

 

Anyway... I'm so drugged up I'm not entirely sure that I'm real let alone talking sense... nothing new there.

 

The moral of this tale is that, although I'm trying I am not going to be round quite as much as I was and not making as much sense when I do.

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Aww Nephy don't worry about the time you're around here, we all want you to be as well as you can be. (I'll be gentle with my hugs in August :) )

 

I still want those last two chapters of The Face in the Window though! :P

 

Take care of yourself Nephy, glad the lack of a job has helped ease your back slightly. :hug: (If I'm at a loss of what else to say hugs always say what I can't :) ) :hug:

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Hi Nephy very gentle hugs: and thinking of you :hugs:

 

I dont know what else to say :)

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Hey, I didn't post this for sympathy, although it's always nice :P

 

No need to say anything but hugs are nice... and don't you dare be gentle with me. I won't break and if I scream... so what's new :P

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Pain is a bitch! She creeps up on you when your not looking. I'm sorry that your having all these problems with your back.

 

BIG BEAR HUG! :hug:

(I want to hear you scream :devil:)

 

Really, I hope you feel better!

 

KC

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Life is a bitch. I hate hearing that you are hurting and what ever you do either makes the pain worse or affects negatively on some other aspect of your life. My mum's health has gone from bad to worse in past five years and she has given up. You must not give up! Please! There must be something to make it better. Or at least make the pain tolerable but still have a life you can enjoy the fullest.

 

:hug:

 

 

 

 

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Hey, have no fear. There is no way that I can do anything other that live my life to the fullest; that's the way I am. I'm a long long long way from giving up. I just don't do things like that

 

Thanks for the scream KC I really enjoyed it 0:)

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  • Site Administrator

Awww, back pain is one of the worst kinds ever. You move your arms or head or legs or cough or pee... yeah, anything and everything hurts. I live with pain every day, thank god not in my back most of the time, so I understand the absolute screeching frustration that brings tears to your eyes when you just want to feel normal and can't. This too shall pass won't work because it sure as hell won't. All you can do is what you are doing now. Stand up (or sit down and rack them in the knees til they are on your level) and demand relief that will work. The morphine may help day to day but they should be able to DO something for you. Don't give up on trying to find that something and just live with the pain, it's not a good thing. Huggles!

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Nephy, sometimes morphine is a must .

Dont be afraid to use it, just control how long you take it and make a break if you feel you could become addict.

BTW, there are other drugs with the same effect, like Tramadoli hydrochloridum (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tramadol).

My wife take it since 3 years (because her back) without problems.

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I have been jumping up and down with the GP and I think another scan may be on the cards. :)

 

I will NEVER take it lying down.,, well I will take IT lying down but not 'it' :)

 

Huggles Bob. I'm taking tramadol too. It wasn't strong enough on its own

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Tramadol's main benefit is that it makes other pain medication work better. I've been on it, morphine (makes me puke so no good stuff for me), oxycontin, tylenol with codeine, vicodin... Pretty much the gamut of pain medicine. You do have to be careful about addiction but if you can't function without it you can't. I do hope they figure out something to help you beyond managing the pain though.

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:hug: Nephy.

Like Bob said, sometimes morphine is a must. And of course it will make you sleep and feel wonky but the trade-off it worth it.

Is your GP planning to gradually decrease the dosage already?

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It really sucks to do drugs and not enjoy them. It's not a problem I can relate to, but you do have my sympathies. innocent.gif

 

I think that it could make for an interesting plot twist in a story though....morphine addiction or the like. Do vampires do morphine? Who do you ask about that? Stephanie Meyer or Anne Rice?

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Aww Nephy *glomps you*

 

I know you are struggling but i'm wishing you all the best.

 

My thoughts are always with you :) Glad the lack of work is good for you :)

 

And i'm so glad the morphine works :) As bob said, don't be afraid of morphine just take it in proportion.

 

Hope you dont entirely dissapear from us

 

I would miss you badly :(

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