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I live in the land of the Freaks!

Andrew Q Gordon

Entry posted by Andrew Q Gordon

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In theory I live in a 'college town' but given we are 'inside the beltway' - code for close to DC - I hardly think this qualifies as a college town. I mean it's really just a very close in suburb of DC. But I've never seen so many freaks in my life:

 

First there's Mr. Wizard - he frequents the Starbucks near campus - he sets his drink on the counter, waves his hand over his drink twice, takes a drink, sets it down and does it again. He does it everytime before he drinks.

 

Then there is Bird Lady - she is this tall thin woman who plods as she walks and reminds of us crane. She walks in all weather, conducting an imaginary symphony as she walks. I'm not sure she even wears earphones or has a music player with her.

 

We also have this dude that I think lives in the Starbucks and the shopping center around it. He is there almost all day everyday. After school hours he brings his daughter and she runs around the store. Basically the employees are her friends. It's kinda sad really but smiling dad seems to think its all good. They eat dinner in the store sometimes - I mean they get pizza and bring it in - what's so freaky is they are raising her in the store. I've seen mom do homework with her in the store. Just weird.

 

Last night at the diner near the house, we saw some woman in a pirate shirt and lederhosen :blink: She was reading the menu and commenting on how good things sounded. As if diner fare was 5 star cuisine.

 

We have crazy neighbors too - there is this really nice house on the corner of our street. In our neighborhood, the corner lots were meant for large impressive homes, set at an angle to the street. This one is particularly nice. It's been empty for 15 years at least. The owners live else where in the neighborhood in a much smaller house. :wacko: The most common story I've heard is that it was the wife's parent's house and they are saving it for when their 50 something son gets married - The big oaf lives at home and I suspect is a hermit who never goes out. We see him and the dad - who's like 100 when they come over now and then to check on the house.

 

Then there are the 'run walkers' this is a couple who pretend to jog while they are walking - meaning the put their arms up and act like they are jogging but they are still walking - and not that fast either.

 

But not much beats our neighbors. He is late forties and still sporting a very stylish Prince Valiant hair cut. What's worse is he does next to no work on the house - which is falling down around them. He once commented when we hired someone to do some yard work he couldn't see 'paying someone to do something he could do himself.' I was about to say - yeah you gotta do it yourself if you don't pay someone, but Mike stopped me. He also has this idea that Members Only Jackets are still acceptable and that Jorts - [jean shorts] are a staple of modern living.

 

I so wonder what the neighbors think of us :P

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Lugh

LOL

 

Maybe I should make a post like this about my neighbors... you live in an upscale neighborhood.. mine is quite the opposite.

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AnytaSunday

Hilarious.

 

Once I was playing the grandmother in little red riding hood for my German language training--so, I had on fuddy-duddy clothes, then I got home, ready to change, put on my slippers first, then realized I had forgotten to bring in the mail (I was expecting something). So I run down to get it and oops, I don't have my keys. Which was a problem because I'd shut the front door too. :P So, me, my fuddy-duddy clothes and slippers, with no money, no phone, (no friends close by) had to walk an hour through the streets of Berlin to my hub's work (centre city).

 

I might be the butt of some jokes like yours too, LOL. I often wonder what people thought of THAT crazy woman.

 

But, I dunno, there's something comfortable about having unique people around you (I also had a friend in uni that wore a wizards cloak all the time, he was hiliarious and extremely smart). It makes life more interesting colorful--I mean, it gave you a laugh right? How boring it would be if we're all the same.

 

Also, I probably grew up as one of those 'weird' people. My dad used to make us be rubbish girls. He and my sister and I would have to go around the community and pick up rubbish--because that's what a good citizen did. Apparently. :P hehe.

 

Neeways, thanks for the smile. :D

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Andrew Q Gordon

Lugh - JUST DO IT - I bet it would be quite popular :)

 

Antya - Just wait, if you visit, you'll see - **Shakes head in amazement**

 

Thanks Vic, I suppose we will :) I can't tell you how MUCH I am looking forward to the day I walk into our house with our daughter. All the stuff I know is coming - no sleep, work etc, I just don't care :)

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MikeL

I think it's clear that our attempts to move the weirdos out of our town by electing them to Congress is working quite well...thank you very much. :P

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Andrew Q Gordon

Haha Mike, thanks so much - though I think this might be their family and friends as well. I have seen any Weiner pictures or topless flexing with one arm lately so I think we got rid of a few of them :P

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MikeL

Haha Mike, thanks so much - though I think this might be their family and friends as well. I have seen any Weiner pictures or topless flexing with one arm lately so I think we got rid of a few of them :P

 

Not to worry. We have an ample supply of replacements. :P

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Sara Alva

Hehe . . . sounds like quite a cast of characters. You can always throw 'em into a story to liven/lighten things up. I like 'borrowing' from real life when I write--there's so much there for inspiration :P

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Mark Arbour

Ah, neighbors. My neighbor wants me to spend $1000 to remove a tree that fell down in my yard. My tree, fallen in my yard. I'm thinking "f**k it" because I can't even see the damn thing (it's hidden by other trees). He's upset because it ruins his view. When I get home and ask him to pony up half the cost, we'll see how important the view is.

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Nephylim

Well, I have green hair, wear eye makeup that would scare Alice Cooper, wear only black with slave bracelets and sometimes collars and I have two black cats. The number of kids I have who follow me shouting things like 'missus are you a witch,' or 'didn't you know Halloween is in October?' i think I'd feel right at home in your neighbourhood :)

 

Oh, and when I'm walking with my earphones in and music blasting in my ears, the only way i can deal with an almost irresistable urge to sing along is to mouth the words and walk in the rhythm of the song. So yeah... :)

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Andrew Q Gordon

@Sara - yeah I couldn't make up shit this good, really.

 

@ Mark - how did my blog turn into your problem?? :blink: J/K I'd bet you a couple of beers he ain't gonna agree to pay half - you have to come to DC to collect if you win - 0:)

 

@Dave - :lmao: - that is all - :)

 

@Nephy - Yeah but you don't wave your hand over your food before you eat or make your son grow up in a pub do you? And I am not talking playing air guitar or singing, I'm talking full on, London Philharmonic Conductor style conducting here. however, it is always the same three movements so it must be a VERY lame piece she is conducting :P

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Cia
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:P No big comments but thanks for the laugh. I could 'see' the people as you described them, I love that.
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AquariusGuy

You have described only of few of the DC Area people. I used to work in NW by the Silver Spring and DC boarder and some real unusual people used to come in. No one like you described.

 

On Sunday's we would get the drunks who would complain the liquor store was closed since DC law prohibits them form being open on Sunday's.

 

We' would also get those rich people who didn't know how to use their cell phones or their car chargers. This one lady kept returning the car charger saying it wasn't working. I went out to her car and plugged it in and she said... oh you have to plug it in?

 

The only people I didn't mind who frequented my store were the guys from Walter Reed. They loved to show off those scars.

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