So Christmas was fun. I went and visited with my mom and grandparents, then my mom and I went to see my aunt and cousin (They're still not eager to mix with my grandmother ). Boy I'd forgotten how much fun my cousin could be! We played cards for awhile, hung out, listened to music, chatted. It was really nice. I also decided I got really lucky in the family department, and within the family for some reason (and I feel a little guilty about it), my aunt, cousin, and grandmother seem to treat me more nicely than they do the rest of the family. ......it's probably just because I'm a huge suck up! And of course my mom and grandpa totally rock in everyway anyway!

So Yesterday was really fun too, me and Patrick (my gay work friend), went in and cleaned up and stuff and got everything ready, even though we weren't open today. Then we went and had Sushi (and Japanese liquor ), and hung out at his place for awhile with a couple of his friends. It was really nice. And I was quite amazed, he kinda "in-ed" himself . Turns out for last year or so especially he's been attracted to some girls. Which I guess shouldn't surprise me that much, I'm attracted to the occasional girl too, but he really didn't seem like the type! Anyway he was worried about it, he said in a lot of ways it was harder for him to admit to his friends than when he first came out. Apparently because he's always had a lot of gay friends so he just "fit in" that way, but now he's worried they'll be disgusted. But his other friend that was with us (this was before the 4th guy showed up), was like "no man, don't worry about it, there's a few choice women I'd like to sleep with too",,,,well whatever, I'm not into the whole casual sex thing, but it was really nice and supportive of him so I was glad. And of course I took the opportunity to partially out myself and be like "yeah really, there's LOTS of guys I find really attractive, like the guy at the coffee shop earlier". He went and pick up coffee before we went to work, I of course didn't get anything since I don't drink caffiene, but anyway there was the CUTEST, gay, redheaded dude working. LOL we were both flirting with him, and once we left I'd even commented that he was cute and I liked redheads, and we had a nice chat about gaydar (heck even I picked this one up). So anyway it was really fun, and while we've always been friends I definitely feel closer to him now, and it was nice meeting his other friends. But I think the 4th guy was hitting on me alot, and he wasn't really my type. I'm usually happy when ANYONE flirts with me, but if they're too forward with it and I'm not interested I always have trouble figuring out how to not lead them on, or seem rude (if it's casual I just always flirt back). There's this girl a few shops down who often comes in, and occasionally I go there. Anyway she really makes me uncomfortable. I don't even like the way she flirts, I can't explain it, she acts like i'm the one flirting with her (Which ISN'T true), I think she's one of those girls who likes to treat guys badly and watch them drool.....LOL but I ain't drooling.

So then today was pretty good too, I didn't get enough sleep last night and I was kinda run down. Anyway my dad called to wish me a late Merry Christmas. We'd missed each other's calls on the actual day. So I didn't really like the conversation that much. He's a college prof. himself, and he's been bugging me to start applying for grad. school since like the summer (ok not really "bugging me" since I've only talked to him like three times in the last 6 months, but still). So anyway I'm basically 90% sure I'm going to MISS the deadline for the school I want to go to. Which I think I kinda wanna do anyway because I want to take a year off and just work and get used to the city (and hopefully find some really great guy to fall in love), so the last couple of conversations I'd just dodged the specifics as much as possible, but today he backed me into a corner so I was like "well if I miss the deadline I'll just reapply the next year". Which I guess coulda gone over much worse, but I still definitely got the impression that wasn't what he wanted me to do. Anyway I feel like such a jerk, but I gotta say my gut reaction is that it isn't any of his buisness. I haven't lived with him since I was 2, I saw him maybe twice a year until I was about 13, then MAYBE 3 times since then. Which is really fine, I've always said I grew up with three parents (mom and grandparents) this way, NOT one short. And it probably sounds like it, but I'm not at all resentful, he paid child support and stuff, sent birthday and christmas gifts, called periodically, and I really am sure I always had the option of going to visit him more if I asked for it. But while all that's really not a big deal, I just don't feel the need to "impress" him. But I've got that stupid "I can't stand to disappoint anyone" thing going, so I still don't care for the situation.

So anyway he also put my seven year old half sister on the phone for awhile (I have two half sister 7 and 5, the last time I saw them, was when the 7 year old was 2 and the baby,,,,was a baby). It seems she's painfully shy now and basically started crying because he was making her talk to me. Which sucks because (1) I love kids (2) I really do regret not knowing the two of them very well (3) it's always sad when you make little kids cry. But we did finally manage to talk a little anyway.

Oh yeah and then I got a haircut! WOW! huge difference, I bet they cut off 5 or 6 inches in some places. When I'd get out of the shower my hair used to come down to like my mouth (dry it didn't of course, and I usually combed it to the sides a little). Now I've got the boring shortish cut everyone's got, I can't even cover my ears anymore . But I said I wanted a change, and actually I have to admit I like it, for pretty much the first time EVER I was thinking today after I'd gotten it cut, that I liked the shape of my face. Still I think it makes me look more serious (which I wasn't going for), so I guess I'll have to do some extra smiling to make up for it .

Anyway that's my life in the last 3 days, and of course tomorrow I'm going to Houston! I can't wait,,,and I won't have to, I've gotta leave in like 9 hours, and honestly I wanted to spend all that time sleeping . Have an awesome day everyone and take care!!

Kevin