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But I Always Followed the Rules - The Question is Why?


comicfan

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I'm having one of those days. There is no other way to put it. I hate it, but that is life.

 

I had a miserable day at work. Add to that I'm feeling lonely and life hasn't gone nearly anything like I wanted it to.

 

I am the poster boy for following directions.I've always done all my homework, I never cut school, I don't call out of work for a day at the beach, or anything else. I balance the checkbook, give up treating myself to make ends meet, and worry about how I can help others. I graduated as a Valedictorian of my undergrad class, and am sitting three credits shy of master's degree because my mother died and well I just haven't gone back.

 

I work a crappy job because I can't find one that pays in the field i have a degree in. So coming home after work should be good. Wrong.

 

I graduated college. I followed the rules. I am somehow the screw up.

 

My brother dropped out before he was sixteen. He doesn't have a college degree. He is a marriage where infidelity is rampant on both sides.

 

Yet he makes over 300,000 a year and I barely break 30,000. Someone tell me how this makes sense.

 

Then I come home to my father, for who I gave up my life in Connecticut, because his health was failing, my mother had died, and he was lonely.

 

So for that I walked into the house tonight to be told I am evidently a world class failure. I'm single with no prospects and evidently never will have any. He is afraid what will happen when he dies to the dog. Oh, and as an after thought to me too because I will not be able to afford the house with the prices NY has in taxes all, and the dog needs to be taken care of too. Evidently he isn't sure I can remember to feed her either.

 

But at least he knows his youngest son won't let me starve.

 

Yup, makes me feel wonderful to know I am so useless. Can I curl up now? Sorry just needed to get this off my chest before I scream or whatever. Can someone tell me again why it is I am the one who cooks, cleans, and does the food shopping, but the guy who lives half way across the country is the savoir? How does that make sense? Just lucky I guess.

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Awww Unc :hug:

They say life is a bitch, and you get what you get, so make the best of it.

Life isnt fair. And we are forever told to be strong. Unc you have talked to me before on cam and on skype. So talk to me again rant, scream, shout,sing Yankee Doodle Dandy if you like. But get it off your chest.

There is only one real good thing to say to you and that's Fuck em all!! :hug:

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My heart cries out for you bro. People who judge others better make sure they are perfect, that includes parents ans siblings friends and enemies. People who have this attitude have mastered the art over the years. Generally, people like this always come off second best, yet still they persevere in making a misery of another's life. You must train yourself to not see the faults. You must always remain positive for in one moment of weakness, darkness has a knack of filtering through. I am sensing that you do not show your frustration. A good thing. But maybe you need to rant at him instead of bottling up. Maybe you need to chat and find the deeper edge that will enlighten you as to why he is like this. Comminicate. Understand. Take action. Dont let him control you, and dont allow him to make assumptions.

 

Hope u face the cliff and come out of it feeling better, bro. Hugs n respect

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Yeah, agree with what's been said. You are not useless. But maybe you can find ways to work smarter. You could jot down your personal strengths and weaknesses, then consider if you are employing your strengths to full advantage. If you completed your Masters what opportunities would that offer? If that excites you then go for it. Having a daily exercise routine is always beneficial - it releases stress and just makes you feel more able to cope with what life throws at you. For me first thing in the morning is best 'cos I can't do anything on a full stomach. You don't need expensive gym membership, just a floor and a bit of space (press ups - gradually increase the number; squats - watch YouTube how to do them safely). You will feel better. Develop a passion for something you are interested in; an art class, or maybe learn a musical instrument. Look on Google for local groups in your area. Also it means you will meet people!! There is always something you can do to improve your life and make you happier :)

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Families are our toughest critics and comparisons between siblings can be awfully unfair. I can relate, but I also must suggest an attitude adjustment. I'd ignore the lonely old man that is making you feel like a failure and just deal with him only as necessary. Then I'd get off my butt and finish my degree and then start really hunting for job in a field of your choice. If it means dad has to go into a senior facility and his house sold to pay for it, so be it. You have a right to a life and you got to let go of all the emotional baggage before you can feel fulfillment. Good luck and get to it. Times a wasting!

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I just started reading this because it was in one the side nav bars. Everyone else has already given you good advice, just keep on being strong and do what you need to do :)

 

*hugs*

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Thanks all. It is just I had a miserable day at work and to come home to be raked over the coals wasn't what I needed. Oh well. Time to put on my big boy pants and go get everything done.

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