What a month.

So, i started using a dating website. And it worked

There was one guy, but he was just after fun so i was like 'thanks but no thanks'.

Then there was Gary. He turned out to be a douche. He is from my town but still a total douche.

But then at the end of last week, I started talking to a new guy. He seemed pretty nice and kept complimenting me. His name was Ben.

So i responded and then we added each other on skype.

When i added him we sat there and spoke for 4 hours into the early hours of the morning.

This was something different. I hadn't felt anything near to what i was feeling then...

I was confused and I really didn't know what was going on.

So the weekend went by, and we started to get closer and closer.

Then on Monday, he asked me to be his boyfriend.

I said yes

Then we arranged to meet today.

I was very nervous. I got on the train and then arrived in Leicester.

He was a bit late cuz his dad hadn't left for work yet. Which is fair enough (He's not out for a variety of reasons which I wont divulge)

I didn't mind, I just took a walk. Then found my way to the street where he was meant to get off the bus. To you know, surprise him.

Then i get a phone call from him.

We then spent half an hour on the phone, before he arrived, then we met up.

My jaw dropped. He is goregous. I blinked, I double checked. It was really him. I couldn't believe it.

He is alot taller than I thought he was. Much taller. I love it!!!

We then got on the bus back to his house, I thought he was just being awkward at the bus stop and I got really worried. But then something reassured me. We were crossing the road and he grabbed my arm as a car was coming in the distance. It was so sweet

On the bus, we were talking, and getting to know each other more and it was just perfect. Just was

Then we went into his house and we went up into his room and he hugged me. Now, there's a hug then there's a clingy hug. This was of the latter.

I could feel he didn't want to let go. We ended up cuddling on his bed, then he muttered those three words (I love you) and my stomach dropped. I was so happy. i couldn't believe it.

Then we started kissing and i'll leave it up to your imagination as to what happened next. We had alot of fun

We stayed there for a few hours, until I had to go.

He really didn't want me to leave. He admitted he has issues with admitting his feelings, and I really hope he can open up with me and get to know the real 'him'.

One thing that really touched me. His middle name is his name from his home country and he said 'I only let special people use that name, If you want to use it, you can because you really a special person to me'. I couldn't believe it.

He has a stutter, and it really affects his speech. But his voice is just so beautiful that I can listen to it all day, just sometimes (in fact, ALL the time) he speaks so fast or too quiet; I cannot zone out when I speak to him or I might miss a question or anything. Not that I wanted to zone out in the first place

He couldn't come back to the city with me, but led me to my bus stop. I smiled, he didn't want to kiss me in public which was fine. He says he a very confident person, but I think he is just incredibly shy and doesn't like to show it to anyone. I send him a text - I was a wreck, I didn't want him to go.

Then i get another surprise call from him He told me he loves me and that it wont be long until i can be in his arms again and don't allow myself to cry.

So then he goes off and says call me when you get to the city so i can guide you around

We do exactly that and as i arrive at the station he says on the phone 'I love you loads you know. Have a good night".

I get on the train and I head home.

This was something I really hadn't felt before. It was so weird.

It makes me think: Was i really in love with Jason? or was i infatuated with him? Who knows

So i'm sat here, thinking over what happened today and going "What The Hell?". How has all this good stuff come to me now? I don't get it!!!!!

So thats my freaky June and I bet you can understand why i call it my "What The Hell" June