There's been several times as life moved along that I felt I could close a chapter and move along. One was my move from home, never to go back except to visit. That was the first closure I ever felt.

I think the second chapter would be when I found out I was pregnant. Life definitely changes as you once knew it if you intend to be the kind of parent any child needs. So, I closed the chapter of not being responsible for anyone but myself. My husband has always taken care of himself and bent over backwards to take care of my daughter and me.

The third chapter was much harder. My daughter left home and the plot of my life began to peak. I knew life was fixing to be a whole different ballgame. You still feel the responsibility and the need to help them, but they're not there everyday. Empty nest and all of that. You start all over getting to know your spouse. He's your best friend again, your only confident, and you filter your feelings back toward him on a daily basis without the worry of a child's progress in school, tuition, personal life and needs, etc. They're an adult just like you now. (most, anyway)

Chapter four opened with my first grandson. It's still in progress and the best chapter yet. He's made my life and my husband's more interesting. We've learned things that we can't believe this young man taught us, never knowing the vast knowledge he was lending. lol. Yeh, a lot. In my heart, I hope this chapter of my life is still flourishing when the light of life leaves my eyes.

Then, something happens to make you go back and realise that even the passing of your parents doesn't close a chapter of your life. You always think of your childhood and parental influence as a part of your life that never ends. You feed on those years, seeking answers to things to help you in raising your children and grandchildren. Then something happens that makes you feel that this chapter is fixing to ease closed, nothing but those memories left.

My dad remarried after my mom died. He died three years later, leaving my stepmother a living estate. She died a couple of months back. Well, my childhood home sold last week. My siblings and I go to the lawyers office to sign the deed tomorrow. We've all moved away and have no desire to return to the small town we were raised in as children, especially me. I would've given the house away before i moved back there. They're all thrilled for the sale and of course the revenue. I've yet to feel thrilled about anything. I hate even going to the lawyer's office to sign, although it's about fifteen miles from the actual town the house is in. I want to go by tomorrow and just walk through the yard, see my dad's rose bushes once more, his fruit trees at the far end of the backyard, and just say a silent goodbye to a place I hated, but feel I need closure because my parents were wonderful, loving, nurturing parents and they supported me as long as they lived. they sat in that front yard together in the evenings, drinking coffee and spending their quiet time together. It's like I want to say goodbye to that part of life, the good parts.

I guess after tomorrow, I'll know if the need I'm feeling will be met, and I can close that chapter, satisfied with my ending.