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Let's Go Together


Cris's grandparents are dying.

 

I haven't had grandparents since I was 13, and they weren't the type who were around, or who looked after us when we were kids or anything. I was so scared when I first met Cris's grandparents (back when he was still my boyfriend) because I knew how much he loved them, how involved they were in his life, and I was petrified I wouldn't measure up somehow. But it didn't happen, we had ceramics in common, and I got attached to them really quickly. We get on like a house on fire.

 

But time moves on, and they are both 94 now. Grandma had cancer last year, and now she has stage 2 brain cancer. But she is happy, she says it's time. Today we received a call from Cris's dad that grandpa is in hospital, and he is very ill.

After I finished having a cry that I am about to lose the only grandparents I have ever really known, and that Cris is losing family he loves, and knowing that his father is falling apart at the seams but trying to be strong and stoic like his parents taught him - I said to Cris that I am sort of glad.

 

And he understood, and agreed. They have love each other for more than 80 years, have raised two wonderful sons, five beautiful grandchildren, two great-grandchildren. They lived to see us married, have visited strange and wonderful places all over the world, fought in and survived the war, met amazing people, and adored each other their whole lives.

 

It is time to say goodbye, whilst they are both still themselves, whilst they are still together. And even though I don't want grandpa to be in hospital, I don't think either of them wants to live without the other, not for a month, not for a week if they have any say in it. People don't like to discuss it, it is a topic much hushed, but even on Christmas Day grandma turned to me with a smile and just said;

 

"We won't have another birthday, sweetie: it's time to go."

 

So I hope they go together, because I'd rather attend two funerals quickly than know that either of them were being forced to be without the other.

  • Like 3

7 Comments


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Ron

Posted

I'll keep you all in my thoughts with affection, care and sympathy so you'll have it for whenever you need it.

  • Like 1
LitLover

Posted

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts Sasha. It's not easy, but i understand what you mean about hoping they go together. My grandparents died within months of each other. My grandfather went first and my grandmother was just a shell of herself and seemed relieved when it was her time. She didn't want to be in this world without the love of her life. It's wonderful that you have been able to get to know them.

  • Like 1
dughlas

Posted

Sasha please know that I hold you and Cris and his family in thought and prayer. It is difficult to lose those who have come to mean so very much and platitudes don't really help.

I was enormously blessed that all of my grandparents lived well into old age. My mother's parents died within a month of each other. Papa went first and then Grandma followed. They had not lived together for sometime as the result of Grandma's dementia and Papa's Alzheimer but somehow Grandma knew when he was gone. They have been gone 15 years but I remember them when I make Grandma's peanut brittle.

I am very glad that you had an opportunity to know Cris' grandparents and to share in the love they have for each other and their family.

May their time come in quiet and peace and may you know the love of friends and loved ones to ease the loss.

 

dughlas

  • Like 1
Kitt

Posted

I'm here when needed.

  • Like 1
Irritable1

Posted

Oh dear. I suppose it makes sense. We're watching watching Mr. Irri's Grandma miss Grandpa, and it is a really hard thing to see.

  • Like 1
Timothy M.

Posted

My grandmother survived my grandfather by more than 30 years. I think she missed him all the time, even if she had a great life and ehjoyed her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

  • Like 1
Slytherin

Posted

I'm sending hugs to you and Cris :hug::( 

  • Like 1

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