Let's Go Together
Cris's grandparents are dying.
I haven't had grandparents since I was 13, and they weren't the type who were around, or who looked after us when we were kids or anything. I was so scared when I first met Cris's grandparents (back when he was still my boyfriend) because I knew how much he loved them, how involved they were in his life, and I was petrified I wouldn't measure up somehow. But it didn't happen, we had ceramics in common, and I got attached to them really quickly. We get on like a house on fire.
But time moves on, and they are both 94 now. Grandma had cancer last year, and now she has stage 2 brain cancer. But she is happy, she says it's time. Today we received a call from Cris's dad that grandpa is in hospital, and he is very ill.
After I finished having a cry that I am about to lose the only grandparents I have ever really known, and that Cris is losing family he loves, and knowing that his father is falling apart at the seams but trying to be strong and stoic like his parents taught him - I said to Cris that I am sort of glad.
And he understood, and agreed. They have love each other for more than 80 years, have raised two wonderful sons, five beautiful grandchildren, two great-grandchildren. They lived to see us married, have visited strange and wonderful places all over the world, fought in and survived the war, met amazing people, and adored each other their whole lives.
It is time to say goodbye, whilst they are both still themselves, whilst they are still together. And even though I don't want grandpa to be in hospital, I don't think either of them wants to live without the other, not for a month, not for a week if they have any say in it. People don't like to discuss it, it is a topic much hushed, but even on Christmas Day grandma turned to me with a smile and just said;
"We won't have another birthday, sweetie: it's time to go."
So I hope they go together, because I'd rather attend two funerals quickly than know that either of them were being forced to be without the other.
- 3
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