I'm really sorry about your brother, I wish there was something I could do. 

Feel it. Like all the parts of grieving it is there and necessary. Don't hesitate to talk to friends, family, or even a professional if you can't get a handle on it.

We will keep you and yours in our thoughts.

I'm very sorry, Dyno. How terribly painful.

Liking a sad story is weird too. I'm sorry for your loss but at last he found peace. Every loss is different. I can imagine the rage, I felt it last month and honestly I took it on whoever I could, I said very mean things to everyone and well, they sorta got to know how I felt. I even thought I should have felt guilty for my meanness, but I wasn't. I felt lighter. So, you have all the rights to blame those people, even your brother. It's no fair that they made you be the one to make that choice, not that it was any choice.

Be mean, let others know you're hurt and not made of stone. You're an awesome person, but you don't have to be nice all the times.

Meanwhile go for a run, or do something you enjoy. I bet you can make a monkey army.

I pray you find peace soon.

Big hugs

And as Kitt said you got friends to talk to, whine and do whatever you like. :*

Not good! Grief is bad enough by itself without having to cope with disappointment and anger.

I am so sorry for your loss

Thanks to all who've expressed sympathy.

I know time will change this, just got to get through it.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss, I know the grief of loosing a person I loved who went missing and 25 years later still hasnt been found. The grief and anger of not knowing what happened and why know one could do anything about it was consuming. The best advise I can give you is to find a friend, one of those that has known you a lifetime. Ask them to let you vent that anger out onto them. A really great friend can take it and you need to release it. Free it from your soul so you can grieve for your brother.

May God bless and hold you in his arms..

I think your rage is fairly normal.  My suggestion is to turn it into a firm resolve to not go down the same path that your departed brother traveled.  Be good to yourself and don't let others make end of life decisions for you, as you should have it all spelled out and entrust your health or medical power of attorney only to those who know your intentions and will see that they are carried out.  

There are many bitter pills to swallow in life and some can be avoided by being prepared.  

I'm sorry for your loss and I can only advise you to just take it one day at a time.

DDK

Like others have said, "liking" a sad story is weird. But I think I'm overcoming my weirdness to strongly state that I love what you wrote, and I'm sorry for your loss. Your rage is natural, and you did well in writing through the rage with this piece of writing. Rage is something we all have to cope on our own.

I don't know if I'm saying the right words or not, but I do know that your piece of writing has deeply touched me. I am grateful for your writing, and I want to share your grief as I am allowed to.