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Ever Been A Victim Of Violence?


JamesSavik

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If you have, you know how much it sucks. You know that your survival isn't guaranteed when you are helpless in the hands of those that have bad intentions.

 

It's happened to me twice as an adult. I pretty much lived with it as a teen.

 

Once was a rather serious beating I took as an 18 year old freshman. There was more too it than that but it was bad enough. The second a few years later. I don't remember that one. I was beaten with a blackjack and suffered a severe concussion. Probably left for dead. I was unconscious for three days. I don't remember much of what happened that summer. It took a long time to get my shit together afterwards. Broken ribs went with it and, it was a long, painful recovery.

 

After that last time I decided that was NEVER going to happen again. I would do whatever it takes. NEVER AGAIN.

 

If you've been there, you know that there is more too it than healing broken bones, cuts and other wounds. What it does to your thinking can be just as bad.

 

You second guess yourself. You wonder what you could have done different. You think that you are just a weak POS and probably deserved it.

 

It can be worse. If you survive and others don't, the survivor's guilt can be a bitch.

 

There is something called hyperviligence. It's one of my big symptoms for Post traumatic Stress Disorder. It's loads of fun. You know how you get wired with adrenaline when you get rattled? Hypervigilance is like that ALL THE TIME.

 

When I go into a place, I want to know where the exits are. When I walk down the street, I see EVERYTHING. I notice EVERYTHING. I evaluate EVERYTHING. I think three moves ahead because that's what it f-ing takes.

 

I live in a shitty place. #10 murder city in America.

 

Don't tell me that's no threat because there's a f-ing threat. That kid in the red hoodie? He could be an Alabama fan or a shooter for the Bloods. You just never know. Best to stay out of his way.

 

I hear gunfire at night. Occasionally, you hear a lot of it. Makes you wonder when you don't hear anything about it on the news.

 

You want me to give up my guns in this shithole?

 

Seriously?

 

You might as well just shoot me and get it over with on the way out.

 

It'll be cleaner that way.

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I've never been beaten up severely or anything, but I've been roughed up a bit. Still, I'm interested in getting my gun license soon. One never knows when it will come in handy, and I've no qualms about using deadly force. 

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And yet there are people who just don't get it. You don't know whether to feel sorry for them for their ignorance or be mad at them. They are very lucky sheep, perfectly willing to trust in others or fate to protect them. They just haven't been confronted by the fact that they are sheep; ready to be sheared or slaughtered totally at the will of others.

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:hug:

 

It's really funny.  Being gay is more than what most people realize.  I remember the thought I could be killed or raped surfaced when I realized I was gay.  It's just not happy.  By the way, the keen sense of surrounding is a positive trait for becoming a photographer (or any artist, really).  My adrenaline isn't on at all time, but I can relate, because mine can be turned on very easily also (but I've been calmer lately).

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And yet there are people who just don't get it. You don't know whether to feel sorry for them for their ignorance or be mad at them. They are very lucky sheep, perfectly willing to trust in others or fate to protect them. They just haven't been confronted by the fact that they are sheep; ready to be sheared or slaughtered totally at the will of others.

 

you are, of course, referring to your fellow Americans

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I agree and disagree with so much of this thread. I will edit this post when I find the words. For now, stay vigilant but I hope you can restore your trust in other people.

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you are, of course, referring to your fellow Americans

 

No, it was universal, but you already knew that.

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No, it was universal, but you already knew that.

 

 

why would you "feel sorry" for the people of Britain?

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