This was going to be a review of James Franco's movie I am Michael, a biopic about Michael Glatze, the former gay youth advocate turned Ex-gay poster boy with a wife turned Fundamentalist anti-homosexual christian pastor, and now deeply lost as both his far right allies abandoned him and he abandoned his old LGBT friends.

I know I am gay, I tried dating girls when I was younger who were more masculine in reflection now (high school basketball forward), but not everyone is universally aligned on the spectrum, perhaps Michael never was and had the same distinction as many young bi or fluid kids that never found their own definitions beyond the label that society gave them as "Gay".

I like movies that test my thought process and test my views on the world and people in it. He's a tragic man, a man you can empathize with on some levels and detest on others, yet there is a sort of reality to his plight that our community needs to reflect on.

Being gay is not what defines you though, nor does turning into an anti-gay crusader defining for you either. In the end, you are still using one piece of your life to extract meaning to the rest of it. Sexuality is neither the validation for your life nor the reason to fight against it.

We can all easily fall into the trap of being defined by our sexual orientation and become self-destructive as Michael Glatze slowly evolved into. Seeking your "meaning" is a personal process, not something others can do for you.

As a gay author, I write a lot of stories, I engage in a lot of debates, but above all, I love experiencing everything. I went through my Christian fundamentalist phase early in life, I can still quote biblical phrases in KJV and international version of the bible. The need to seek God is a strong thing, no one should deny. However, over time you will realize the means to the Kingdom of Heaven are not in the hands of religion or its leaders, but the faith and truth that God instill in each person holds within them. I do not believe God would put 7 billion people on this earth only to judge them as evil for more than 6 billion of them eventually for not being a certain kind of Christian. God is love; people's interpretations and our own need for exclusive rights to God is not his will.

For readers of this blog entry and fellow writers who stumble here, try to remember that our lives exist beyond just being gay, our meaning exist beyond what other tells us it should be, and you are yourself and only yourself.