It's been difficult lately for tim, and frustrating for me. Depression is such a hard thing to live with, both for the one that suffers through it and the people around them.

Try as he might, and I am not surprised by it, tim tries to push away the bad things he feels. It is a constant fight for him. 

People say he's a man, he should put the past behind him.  Move on, fuhgeddaboudit!

he does, a lot, but with his dad's passing, well, I wish the brain had real door that can be locked. It doesn't and it's the same for all of us I think. If your past wants to catch up with you, you rarely can out run it.

Yesterday it caught up with him. Like a runaway train, it caught him, and flattened him. 

he is okay ... but my frustration brought out some words:

Darkened Days

I know that he suffers

I know his world is grey

Nothing that I can do,

Will take his pain away

I can love him with my body

I can kiss away the tears

But I will never be man enough

To banish forever, his fears

I try and show him life is good

I try and point out sunny skies

But it's life that's done this to him

And it's that I cannot disguise

He clings to me on darkened days

He clings to the light I offer

All I can do is hold him tight

And whisper: I always be your harbour

I love you, boy xo