It's been difficult lately for tim, and frustrating for me. Depression is such a hard thing to live with, both for the one that suffers through it and the people around them.
Try as he might, and I am not surprised by it, tim tries to push away the bad things he feels. It is a constant fight for him.
People say he's a man, he should put the past behind him. Move on, fuhgeddaboudit!
he does, a lot, but with his dad's passing, well, I wish the brain had real door that can be locked. It doesn't and it's the same for all of us I think. If your past wants to catch up with you, you rarely can out run it.
Yesterday it caught up with him. Like a runaway train, it caught him, and flattened him.
he is okay ... but my frustration brought out some words:
I know that he suffers
I know his world is grey
Nothing that I can do,
Will take his pain away
I can love him with my body
I can kiss away the tears
But I will never be man enough
To banish forever, his fears
I try and show him life is good
I try and point out sunny skies
But it's life that's done this to him
And it's that I cannot disguise
He clings to me on darkened days
He clings to the light I offer
All I can do is hold him tight
And whisper: I always be your harbour
I love you, boy xo