Sorry to hear about your dog. That must be rough. It's often hard for people who don't have pets to understand that they become family.

On a different note, I have to ask. If you

It pisses me off to no end when people (usually my parents) say that my cats are "just animals," but I don't see them that way. They're my family -- and treat me much better than a lot of so-called 'real' family members do -- and I don't know how I could possibly cope if I ever had to put them down. I really sympathize with you, Dom. Just know that there are most likely many others here who you could talk to who have been through the same thing and may be able to help you through it.

Also, glad to hear you're back in the mood to write! I go in little spurts ... it's tough sometimes, trying to balance what you need to do in your 'real' life, feeling some sort of sense of obligation to your readers, and often just having no inspiration or energy to write. You've been smart not to stick to any kind of posting schedule. If I missed a Saturday posting, I'd probably be lynched! lol

*Hugz*

Buddha

P.S.- If you've gotten to read Chapter 13 of "Service" yet, I hope you liked it!

If you

On a different note, I have to ask. If you

[So, I still haven

I've been in a monogamous relationship for 34 years, I don't ever flirt, not online, not in person, never, however . . .

I think the answer to every single one of those questions is "it depends."

1. Is it understood by everyone -- both correspondents and their mates -- to be play only? Is it open or hidden? Is it wordplay, or is it a devious little way to mess with somebody's head? Or escape activity for a person who's not honestly happy in their relationship?

2. Does it feel like cheating to any of the people involved?

3. What were the understandings of the couple in the first place? How exclusive were they intending to be? What did they consider to be sex and what did they consider to be conversation?

4. Is the person saving all his best lines for his correspondent, and ignoring his actual sweetie, or giving them only perfunctory attention?

As for why people stay:

-- maybe they don't think fidelity is as important as you do.

-- maybe they expect the situation to resolve reasonably soon.

-- maybe they are afraid getting into the single world again.

-- maybe they think the guy has more advantages than disadvantages.

-- maybe they're two-timing themselves and feel guilty.

It all depends . . .

On a different note, I have to ask. If you’re in committed relationship, is starting a relationship with someone online considered cheating if it’s chalked full of flirtation and sexual innuendo? I would think so. And, when someone cheats, what the hell provokes their partner into staying with them? Makes no sense to me. If I wanted to be trampled, I’d piss off an elephant, but that’s just me.

Yes!! I completely agree!

I also definitely agree with you about the vet thing. I'm pretty sure that's how I would feel too.

glad to hear you're writing again!

Take care and feel better

Kevin

EDIT:

I posted at the same time as Lucy, but I just wanted to say I completely agree with her!

I grew up with dogs all my life. My father used to breed them. I always had mixed emotions regarding putting a family pet to sleep. I

Glad you're back, Dom! Quick replies (it is late...):

Cheating? Not in and of itself, but, may be the first step to actually doing so. But, then, so is making a new friend at __________ (fill in the blank, "work" "the supermarket" 'the club"). If someone is looking to cheat, they will find a venue. I also agree w/the poster who distinguished between the "Oops!" one-timer v. the multi-occasion affair. I might (maybe) forgive the one, would have a hard time w/the oher.

Euthanizing a pet? I would want myself to be put down when I am too old and infirm to enjoy life, so doing so w/one of my dogs is not an issue for me. Having said that, I have not had to actually make that decision. The dog we had when I was a boy was my sister's, I was relatively young when she was put to sleep and I was away at the time. My own dog, over whom I still grieve, was struck by a train (long, painful story; please don't ask) in my presence and I still feel it nearly a decade later. So, I understand how painful the situation is for you. My only advice is for you to have the courage to be dispassionate and concentrate on what is best for your dog, not what is best for you. None of us may be as spritely as when we were pups, but, can still enjoy life's present pleasures. As long as your dog is reasonably comfortable and happy, let her (him?) be. If her days are a misery of pain, unleavened by any pleasure or joy, then be kind to her.

What to do w/the remains? As a boy, I was riding into NYC to go to a Mets game w/my dad (or maybe the World's Fair? Was a long time ago....) and I remember being dumbstruck when we drove past a huge cemetary right in the city. Seemed to me to be a huge waste of space and I resolved then to be cremated when I died. Cast me to the wind or the sea and plant a lovely tree in my memory. I am fond of cherry trees and would prefer that I be remembered fondly every year when the tree marks the renewal of spring with the delicate beauty of its blossoms.

pax, notTed