I hope you don't mind me saying this, Kevin, but I think you're thinking too much. I know, because I am a master at that, myself.

Not telling you what to do, but ... just do it already.

I can relate to this, definitely. Well I found out my mom had done the job for me last year, since the family communication network is pretty good at spreading news. Thanks, Mom! You say you want to tell her face to face, but can't you manage to tell her on the phone before she comes? I mean, so you avoid feeling all nervous when she gets there? Just a question, not even an advice.

I think you should make sure that she understands that you don't want your grandparents to find out. You have to stress that point to her first, and make sure she understands why. This is a pretty big secret to share with someone, even someone that's close to you. So use your best judgement (obviously) and do what you think is best. If you don't think she'll keep it a secret, or you think your Aunt is gonna run back to your grandparents with it, think twice.

I agree with Nick about keeping discrete in case she tells people you wouldn't want to know. But is it better that you tell her and that eventually (I don't believe in secrets being kept for eternity especially NOT in families) your aunt finds out or that it's the family gossip/ questioning for the next few months of "is Kevin gay?" because she reports what she witnessed in Houston? So yes, you know these people best, and I bet you'll make the wisest call. If you have trouble making a decision, you might always toss a coin. (Just kidding...)

I hope you don't mind me saying this, Kevin, but I think you're thinking too much. I know, because I am a master at that, myself.

 

Not telling you what to do, but ... just do it already.

Hey Kitty

Yep, I know what you mean. I do tend to over-think thinks sometimes. Perhaps I should just relax a bit more and see whatever happens when she gets here....but yeah, that's unlikely

Take care and have a fantastic day!

Kevin

There's also the possibility that she already knows, or at least suspects.

 

I too have a cousin that I was close to growing up. In fact, our bond was so great that her first husband was jealous of it. She and I are one month apart in age. A few days after Phil's death, her current husband picked me up and I spent the evening with them. Some time during the evening, without thinking about it, I came out to them. Her answer was just as direct, "we know." It didn't change a thing between us.

 

Jan

Hey Jan,

Yeah actually my friend Megan suggested that she might already know too. I suppose it is possible. I just kinda have a feeling she doesn't, or even if she pretty much does it'll still be a "big deal" if/when I tell her.

Congrats on things going so well with your cousin though!

Take care and have an awesome day!

Kevin

Hey Graeme!

Believe me, Kevin, I know what you're going through. I went through it recently when I came out to the best man from my wedding on my recent trip to the USA. That was done over the phone, which wasn't ideal, but it was the closest I was going to get to face-to-face with him in the foreseeable future.

Way to go!

You're afraid that it won't go well and someone you've cared about and respect isn't going to respect you back anymore.

 

Well, from what you've said, have faith in your understanding of your cousin. Yes, it might not go well, but that won't be your fault. I can't see how you will ever be in a better position to tell her, so take the opportunity and trust your cousin.

Yeah, I'm thinking that's pretty much what it boils down to too. Thanks

Have a great day and take care!

Kevin

I can relate to this, definitely. Well I found out my mom had done the job for me last year, since the family communication network is pretty good at spreading news. Thanks, Mom! You say you want to tell her face to face, but can't you manage to tell her on the phone before she comes? I mean, so you avoid feeling all nervous when she gets there? Just a question, not even an advice.

Hey Bond!

Wow, I'd have been mad if my mom did that!

Well, I've thought about that too. I mean it almost seems like I'm entrapping her this way with her coming and not knowing what to expect at all. Plus if she's looking forward to this little "mini-vacation" I hate to ruin it. AND since we so seldom spend time together there's also the feeling that "well why bring something heavy to the table?". In general though I think I'd rather do it in person.

Have a great day and take care

Kevin

I think you should make sure that she understands that you don't want your grandparents to find out. You have to stress that point to her first, and make sure she understands why. This is a pretty big secret to share with someone, even someone that's close to you. So use your best judgement (obviously) and do what you think is best. If you don't think she'll keep it a secret, or you think your Aunt is gonna run back to your grandparents with it, think twice.

Hey Nick!

I think that's a very very good point! I was thinking about that and I'm pretty sure I can make her see why it getting back to the grandparents is a bad idea, but that doesn't mean it won't get back to my aunt, who can kinda be a loose canon. *sigh* I don't really know, but I do have to call her soon so we can finalize the plans

Anyway thanks for pointing that out! Have an awesome day and take care!

Kevin

I agree with Nick about keeping discrete in case she tells people you wouldn't want to know. But is it better that you tell her and that eventually (I don't believe in secrets being kept for eternity especially NOT in families) your aunt finds out or that it's the family gossip/ questioning for the next few months of "is Kevin gay?" because she reports what she witnessed in Houston? So yes, you know these people best, and I bet you'll make the wisest call. If you have trouble making a decision, you might always toss a coin. (Just kidding...)

HAHAHAHA

Oh my gosh! I got the biggest kick out of that!

"Katie, sit down I have something to tell you."

*flips coin*

"Ohh no, nevermind. I don't"