Today ended up a LOT better than I thought it would. I had a little bit of... well... I think everyone that hears "chemo drug" thinks the same things... nausea, throwing up, massive hair loss. And the wikipedia entry on Cytoxan pretty much confirmed all three. I have a real problem with loss of control - so of the three, the thought of vomiting, especially before I could get to a basin, totally freaked me out.

Talking to the doctor this morning REALLY helped. I know, everyone keeps on saying make sure to ask the doctor everything you need to understand what is going on - and it's so true. I started writing notes everyday of anything I'm still not sure of so the next day I can make sure to ask the doctor those new questions. Like yesterday, I thought I'd just get Cytoxan - so asked him the full exact schedule and what I was going to do was get both Cytoxan and the first (of three) dose of Fludarabine today - and both were about an hour drip each (IV). Then tomorrow and Friday I'll get a dose of Fludarabine and be able to go home on Friday when that's done! WOOT - one day sooner than I thought.

Even better, I asked him about the side-effects and he told me that before they give me the doses, they give me anti-nausea medicines. And the usual level of hair loss is more extra hairs on my pillow and hair brush but as he then put it "You won't look like the kids on the St Jude commercials."

So - breakfast and lunch were both great, and the nurse told me the chemo would start at 3PM. I had a great relaxing morning/early afternoon (and had a LOT of fun watching the typical mayhem my EQ2 friends brought to my last blog entry). And of course, the 3PM schedule started at 4:15 instead - heh. I made sure to have a basin near me - but of course, NO EFFECTS. Went through the Cytoxan with no problems at all. Then about 1/2 hour after that finished, they started up the Fludarabine and - NO EFFECTS!!!

Now - the nurse did say sometimes a day or two after, I may get waves of nausea still (since the chemo is still in the body but the anti-nausea drugs have wore off) - but that's for down the line. And I will be careful but for now, things are good.

So - overall - I've talked to a TON of people in the last few days... some multiple times. Good friends who either I need to call before they hear from someone else, or others who hear and call me... or in one case, someone who called to wish me a happy birthday and I have to do a "oh, um, by the way..." And of course tons of emails as well, which usually begin with "Hi Robert, I just heard from..."

EVERYONE has been incredibly supportive. I'd been a little worried about my sick time and if I might have to file for disability - but Dan talked to my boss who told him to not worry about it, quite a few people in the office donated their sick time to me (it's something people in the office have done before when someone has been pregnant so it's happened before, but I NEVER even thought it was a possibility). When Dan told me - I got close to tearing up...

I really miss getting in bed at night with Dan.... his visits are great, but sleeping alone is... a little restless. And of course, I miss our two wonderful dogs (who never disbehave despite what Dan might tease about)...

BUT - I'll be home in two more nights and be able to spend the WHOLE weekend with them. We do have to make a trip to my mom's on Saturday. I haven't told her yet (my brother and sister both know) cause I need to tell and talk to her in person. She is ALWAYS hard to talk to on the phone about small things and this is no small thing. GREAT news is my brother is still coming to visit my mom this weekend as well so he'll be there on Saturday when Dan and I go down to tell her.

So - one more night alone in the hospital, but otherwise feeling great and looking forward to completing the treatment.