Wow, it's been around two months since I've been online long enough to log on to GA. That's a friggin record for me. Anyway, I took a self imposed sabbatical for a lot of reasons, most of them stemming from my own need to figure out what I want to do with myself. Not in terms of GA, but in terms of life in general.

Looking back on the last few months, it's easy to see that I was spinning out of control. I was ranting and raving at the people I love at home, and even a few people I was fond of online. But the breaking point came for me when I made my girlfriend cry. I didn't hit her(I never would), and I didn't even yell at her(I'd never do that either). I did get pissed off and destroy my room, mainly out of frustration at myself for not being able to do something for her that I tried my hardest to do. It's funny (well not really) because that same day I got a friendly swat on the hand for the way I was treating GA members, and that was when I realized that I had to calm down. My anger in life was coming through loud and clear online, and I'm afraid that a lot of my readers and other members of this site had to plug their ears while I broadcast that anger.

So I did the one thing that made sense at the moment. I logged out and didn't log back in for a while. While I was gone, I got a lot straightened out in my personal life. I got my work schedule, my school schedule and my Nick schedule (the schedule where I don't owe anyone anything and can do something for myself) straight, I talked my dad into helping me get my girlfriend a car and me and Taylor are talking again. Believe it or not, it was Kate who wanted me to make up with him. Even after all the crap we went through, all the nasty back and forth and the name calling, she still wanted me to let him come around. He's clean for now, and I want to help him stay that way.

I'm also working with a publishing agent, and she's driving me up the wall. The first thing she did when we met was hand me back my manuscript and tell me she wouldn't look at it until I gave it back to her with 1 inch margins and 12 point font. Now she says that the damn thing needs about 25,000 more words, and on top of that, she's assigned me two books to read. Oh yeah, and she wants me to attend at least two writing workshops by Spring. I tried avoiding her, but if I don't call her when I say I'm going to, she practically hunts me down, and she's never in a good mood. (sigh)

She basically told me that her job is to be as blunt and hard on me as possible so that we'll send in my best work. I guess I see her point, but damn. She has a way of making me feel like I screwed something up at the exact same time that she's telling me how much potential I have. So, blah.....

Speaking of writing, I haven't forgotten about If By Chance. I just haven't had much time to get the next chapter out. I have a few things that I need to iron out here at home, and I need to get my mind in the right place, then I promise I'll get it done. In the meanwhile, I'm sorry that I haven't already posted it and please don't give up on me.