it has been a trent among young girls (mostly) for a couple of years now.... Girls claim to be bi so they will get friends that are 'the same' but also the idea is that it turns straight guys on.... They think they will be able to get a boyfriend faster when they say they like girls too.... Girls are more prone to cuddling and being close to one-another anyway but now they call it something new.... I used to cuddle up with a straight friend of mine a lot back in the days, she new I was bi but never had any problems with cuddling.

I've known I was buy since I was around 10/11 I've been equally attracted to male as female body's....

I think it's a thing of the now.... Even my lil sis asked me if she was bi a while ago.....

she: I sometimes kiss girls to tease my boyfriend, and I like it, does that mean I'm bi?

me: Are you attracted to her boobs and down under too?

she: no

me: than you're safe

Good luck with your girl

*hugs*

Viv, I like your "gay above the waist" thing. I actually feel that I'm more like "straight above the waist". There's a certain attraction for me to women, but I'm extremely picky about women and find myself more like a Kinsey 5. Part of the reason is that I think breasts are neato.

Anyway, there are those who think that it's "cool" to be gay or bi. Women will often kiss other women in front of their men in seeking approval. However, I would say that the girl who cuddles with her "friend" who happens to be a girl is doing so because she loves her. How deep that love is I cannot be sure. For her at least, it's not a trend. Rather it has become more and more prevalent as acceptance has increased, especially for girls.

My daughter is 22 now and she came out when she was 12. At that time most of her friends were straight, although they accepted her without question and her best friend was gay... well still is As she got older and made new friends she came to be surrounded by more and more gay young people, male and female. I don't know what age your daughter's teammates are but by the time Lori was 16 she was pretty much in a predominantly gay/bi group of friends.

Some of the friends went on to form heterosexual relationships, some gay and some alternated, one or two are still not in any relationship at all. They are all still very young and I think that the later teenage years are a time of experimentation anyway. Some people know for sure that they are straight/gay by this point but others are still keeping open minds and experimenting so it would be unsurprising if they... for example considered themselves to be gay and then changed their minds.

I have always encouraged my children to keep open minds when it comes to love... don't look at that package look at what's inside. My daughter had a few boyfriends (ironically all but one turned out to be gay, or at least are now in stable gay relationships) but it never 'felt right' and she is now very settled, engaged to her girlfriend who she's been with for 3 years and counting.

As for myself, I have always been attracted to women but I married my childhood sweetheart at 18 and we were together for 15 years when I didn't look at anyone else male or female. Within 3 months of that relationship breaking down I was with my second husband who had been a good friend for a number of years and still is even though we have been parted for over a year (after another 15 year realtionsip) It wasn't until I was free and single... something which I had not been since age 15 and started looking around at what was on offer so to speak that I realised that I could get just as hot under the collar for a woman as a man. I suppose I should have guessed from the fact that I have always been attracted to 'pretty' men, with long hair. I have a real thing for eyes... if they have pretty eyes and they like a bit of rough and tumble don't much care about the rest of the package.

Ohhh, fun poll, Viv!

My results:

1) I'd say this is a trick question. It depends on how you define "know." You can know something without really knowing it. Anyway I put 10-13, but I could have reasonably put most of the other options too.

2) Same deal. I knew, but I didn't necessarily know. For me learning about my sexuality has been a very long, on-going (fun!) experience and I really wouldn't say there was ever a single defining moment with regards to either discovery.

It's further complicated by the fact that I've switched labels so much and my perspective has shifted quite a bit over time. Now I pretty much use "gay" and "bi" interchangeably to describe my sexuality and I just don't think either one really fits very well. Gay is probably the closest match in terms of lifestyle and culture but bi is probably a better fit strictly in terms of orientation.

In any case, for 2) I just put "yes"

3) I put Absolutely Agree! I'm also of the opinion that just because I tried something once and did or didn't like it that doesn't necessarily mean that a similar experience will yield the same results next time.

I think too often people lump these things into massive categories that really ought to be broken down a bit more. For example the obvious question to the answer "you can't know until you try it" is "Kissing a guy/girl" or "having sex with a guy/girl." Personally, I think it's kind of ridiculous to lump these together as if kissing a single guy/girl and/or having sex with them is going to give you any kind of indication about whether or not you'd enjoy doing the same thing with another member of that gender. I've had some really awesome experiences and some really boring/bad ones. It wasn't the gender of the person; it was the person themselves, our chemistry together, and the overall circumstances.

4) I answered yes, although I'm unlikely to go that route. I'm pretty sure I could be perfectly happy alone, with a male, or with a female. Again, I'd say the key factors are the circumstances involved and not necessarily the gender. I'm much more likely to remain single or partner with a male. If I partner with a female...well that's fine too. I won't partner with anyone unless the relationship is mutually satisfying and if it is then obviously it's working and there's no reason to rule it out.

5) Sort of a 4.5. I will say it definitely fluctuates. I'm never less than a 3 and never an absolute 6, but I might hit anywhere between about 3.1 and 5.9 depending on when you ask.

I'm sort of getting to that point where when posed the question, "Are you heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual?" I'm tempted to respond, "I'm just sexual."

Earlier today I was in a cafe and across the room I saw an attractive person. I thought the person's hair was awesome. Their face was beautiful. their overall style and attitude was compelling. I found that I had to keep from staring. There was one thing I was sure of: I was attracted to this person. One thing I wasn't sure of, at all, was the person's gender. I kept trying to figure it out. Was this a male or was this a female? I realized it didn't really matter. I settled on the likelihood that it was a beautiful, pretty gay male. Once the person walked by it turned out to be pretty lesbian. As I said, just didn't really matter....well except that I'd have probably stood a better chance if it had been a gay guy

Fascinating entry!

-Kevin

I won't go into the same detail as Kevin, but unlike him I can define a moment when I knew.

1) Age 15. First time I met a particular boy. Realization hit me like a hammer. I was dizzy for months.

it has been officially been over a month since this blog entry. A new one hasn't appeared. I feel like the universe is in flux and nothing is right anymore...