[NickolasJames8] Staking My Claim - Chapter 20

[Conner]

Well, I can definitely say that the romantic in me is satisfied, but just barely. I definitely didn't want an ending where all bets were off. I had way too much emtional energy invested. I mean there has to be a pay off for that, right?

 

We all knew the shit was going to hit the fan, one way or another. They say that the truth shall set you free. I believe that applies here. Andrew has acknowledged his shortcomings and now seems to be on the right track. Mind you, the following paragragh left me with considerable doubt:

 

I won

[NickolasJames8]

Well, I can definitely say that the romantic in me is satisfied, but just barely. I definitely didn't want an ending where all bets were off. I had way too much emtional energy invested. I mean there has to be a pay off for that, right?

 

We all knew the shit was going to hit the fan, one way or another. They say that the truth shall set you free. I believe that applies here. Andrew has acknowledged his shortcomings and now seems to be on the right track. Mind you, the following paragragh left me with considerable doubt:

I'm disappointed that there wasn't one more conversation between Andrew and Philip once Andrew accepted Kyle's (more than generous) offer. C'est la vie, I guess.

 

Nick, this story is another triumph in laying bare human emotions and frailties. Thanks for another great ride.

 

Conner

 

Thanks for reading Conner I feel really bad about leaving things like this, but if I didn't I was worried things would be too cliched and I didn't want that for this story (or MJO). I'll wait for some feedback before I decide on a threequel (did I just invent a new word? )

[justin12107]

 

Thanks for reading Conner I feel really bad about leaving things like this, but if I didn't I was worried things would be too cliched and I didn't want that for this story (or MJO). I'll wait for some feedback before I decide on a threequel (did I just invent a new word? )

 

 

Do you mean trilogy? lol. I do admit I like the word "threequel" though

 

About the story though the ending was bittersweet.

 

Sweet because it seemed that he finally realized all the wrongs he has done and felt genuinely sorry for what he did, and through that it seems that he has fallen for Kyle.

 

Bitter because I don't want it to end I would like to see how Andrew and Kyle's relationship progresses, and also to see how Andrew, Jarred, and Phillips friendship worked out. Yes you did do some of that at the end of the chapter, but i think you could have extended it a bit. It seemed as if you through it in to end it, but still it was a great story and i think a Threequel is a great idea!! lol

[NickolasJames8]

Do you mean trilogy? lol. I do admit I like the word "threequel" though

 

About the story though the ending was bittersweet.

 

Sweet because it seemed that he finally realized all the wrongs he has done and felt genuinely sorry for what he did, and through that it seems that he has fallen for Kyle.

 

Bitter because I don't want it to end I would like to see how Andrew and Kyle's relationship progresses, and also to see how Andrew, Jarred, and Phillips friendship worked out. Yes you did do some of that at the end of the chapter, but i think you could have extended it a bit. It seemed as if you through it in to end it, but still it was a great story and i think a Threequel is a great idea!! lol

 

 

I might mean trilogy, but I'm not sure yet....it could be a fourlogy or a fivelogy

[TalonRider]

I might mean trilogy, but I'm not sure yet....it could be a fourlogy or a fivelogy

Darn! Even when a story finishes, I still don't get any time off from this guy.

 

Try this Nick, "I might mean trilogy, but I'm not sure yet....it could be a fourology or a fiveology." Not that either one of those is a word.

 

Jan

[NickolasJames8]

Darn! Even when a story finishes, I still don't get any time off from this guy.

 

Try this Nick, "I might mean trilogy, but I'm not sure yet....it could be a fourology or a fiveology." Not that either one of those is a word.

 

Jan

 

I like to keep you sharp

[iamthebest]

dude, you gotta keep going. two many loop holes. it was building up, then just died.

[NickolasJames8]

dude, you gotta keep going. two many loop holes. it was building up, then just died.

It's going to....just like My Jump Off flowed into Staking My Claim, I left it wide open enough at the end to have a few options...I guess the question now is, who's point of view should it be from??? Phillips or Kyle K's??

[Bondwriter]

Nice teen marivaudage all the way through. What strikes me is that at no point, though they're friends, do the four of them sit down and talk things out, it always goes on with one-on-one encounters. Glad Andrew can assess he's grown up through hurting.

 

The opening lines of this chapter with the recollection of Hiroshima was great, though it brought to me much wilder ideas about what would happen, since it has become fashionable to have characters have motorcycle accidents or being threatened to be killed by their half-brother lately. So, no physical harm at least. Now I can go read My Jump Off.

[justin12107]

It's going to....just like My Jump Off flowed into Staking My Claim, I left it wide open enough at the end to have a few options...I guess the question now is, who's point of view should it be from??? Phillips or Kyle K's??

 

 

If your not gonna do andrew again id say kyle k, because we dont know that much about him. with phillip hes been a major role in both my jump off and staking my claim. Kyle K just started to become a major character towards the end of this story, leaving alot about him to be unexplained.

[iamthebest]

If your not gonna do andrew again id say kyle k, because we dont know that much about him. with phillip hes been a major role in both my jump off and staking my claim. Kyle K just started to become a major character towards the end of this story, leaving alot about him to be unexplained.

 

nah, do phillip. the relationship is more interesting and fun to read about.

[justin12107]

nah, do phillip. the relationship is more interesting and fun to read about.

 

thanks for proving my point. its only more interesting because we know his character more and are more used to it. With kyle tho there was never a chance to really know more he was never in the chapters that much and when he was he was just burnt like the rest of them . plus doing another story that would basically be about jarred and phillips relationship would be alot like a rerun of my jump off but with a different main character.

[TalonRider]

It's going to....just like My Jump Off flowed into Staking My Claim, I left it wide open enough at the end to have a few options...I guess the question now is, who's point of view should it be from??? Phillips or Kyle K's??

For all we know, this could become a Never Ending Series.

 

Jan

[Conner]

I might mean trilogy, but I'm not sure yet....it could be a fourlogy or a fivelogy

 

 

Then comes the sextent, right???

 

:wacko:

[NickolasJames8]

If your not gonna do andrew again id say kyle k, because we dont know that much about him. with phillip hes been a major role in both my jump off and staking my claim. Kyle K just started to become a major character towards the end of this story, leaving alot about him to be unexplained.

 

I tend to agree, but if i do one on him, I want to cover his history (his parents divorce and his friendship with Kyle Porter), but I think Phillip's point of view is important too

 

nah, do phillip. the relationship is more interesting and fun to read about.

right now, i have plans to do this, but they could change at any time.

 

thanks for proving my point. its only more interesting because we know his character more and are more used to it. With kyle tho there was never a chance to really know more he was never in the chapters that much and when he was he was just burnt like the rest of them . plus doing another story that would basically be about jarred and phillips relationship would be alot like a rerun of my jump off but with a different main character.

 

Ok, after reading the debate, I think I may have an idea......either one story with alternating POV's

-or-

Two stories running at the same time, dealing with the same situations but obviously one would be from Kyle K's POV and the other could be from Phillip's POV.....of course, I could always do it from a third person perspective, but then there'd be no reason to continue with the series

 

For all we know, this could become a Never Ending Series.

 

Jan

 

Well, you'll know that we've come to that point if I write a story from the POV of Anita, the rude cashier who works for Renee Tisdale's mom at the funnel cake shop

Then comes the sextent, right???

 

:wacko:

 

Or even a seventent or an eightent

[NickolasJames8]

Nice teen marivaudage all the way through. What strikes me is that at no point, though they're friends, do the four of them sit down and talk things out, it always goes on with one-on-one encounters. Glad Andrew can assess he's grown up through hurting.

 

The opening lines of this chapter with the recollection of Hiroshima was great, though it brought to me much wilder ideas about what would happen, since it has become fashionable to have characters have motorcycle accidents or being threatened to be killed by their half-brother lately. So, no physical harm at least. Now I can go read My Jump Off.

 

I hope you like it

[iamthebest]

its only more interesting because we know his character more and are more used to it. With kyle tho there was never a chance to really know more he was never in the chapters that much and when he was he was just burnt like the rest of them . plus doing another story that would basically be about jarred and phillips relationship would be alot like a rerun of my jump off but with a different main character.

idk, I just find Phillip a lot more intriguing. Even with the little that has been mentioned about Kyle, he just really isn't involved with the story all that much. I want to see Phillip's pov more than anything. Kyle just enters the story really in the last few chapter. Either way, I am sure it'll rock.

Edited July 19, 2007 by iamthebest

[justin12107]

idk, I just find Phillip a lot more intriguing. Even with the little that has been mentioned about Kyle, he just really isn't involved with the story all that much. I want to see Phillip's pov more than anything. Kyle just enters the story really in the last few chapter. Either way, I am sure it'll rock.

 

 

Well lol we're different then i find Kyle more intriguing. Like you said about him not entering the story till towards the end. Makes him more mysterious because theres never really been a conversation with him either.

 

I do agree with you tho either way this story is going to be great no matter who narrates it. And i just wanted to say im not tryin to pick a fight with you. i dont kno if you might be thinkin i am im just debating. My mom did always say i should be a lawyer...

[Conner]

Well lol we're different then i find Kyle more intriguing. Like you said about him not entering the story till towards the end. Makes him more mysterious because theres never really been a conversation with him either.

 

I do agree with you tho either way this story is going to be great no matter who narrates it. And i just wanted to say im not tryin to pick a fight with you. i dont kno if you might be thinkin i am im just debating. My mom did always say i should be a lawyer...

 

 

That's a horrible thing for a mother to say to her son!

 

Yes, either story would be good. If I had to choose, though, it would be for Philip's story. The reason for that is the significant dissimilarity between Philip's relationships with Jarred and Andrew. I would really like to get inside his head.

 

Conner

Edited July 19, 2007 by Conner

[TalonRider]

I'd like the next story to be from Phillips POV since he's been one of the main characters from the beginning.

 

Even with the little that has been mentioned about Kyle, he just really isn't involved with the story all that much.

 

We actually met Kyle K early in the story when Jarred took Andrew to a party and he would appear from time to time. It wasn't until later chapters that he started appearing more. I also picked up that Kyle was wanting to get to know Andrew better, not sexually at first. Why else would he invite Andrew to his room, other than to get high.

 

I had also told Nick, that I thought Kyle and Andrew would be together by the end. The reply I got was, maybe, maybe not. You know how authors can be evasive, even with their editors.

 

Jan