the sacred act...

[moonwolf]

ok a quick question I thought to ask you all... some people have certains restrictions when it comes to sex, they prefer to wait for a real boyfriend before doing certain things, it's sacred for them. For others it's all ok, they're able to just let go

 

Now is there any sexual acts that you reserve only for your special one ? For me my butt is reserved only for my boyfriend... (still single btw) it's a sacred thing, him entering me is allowing him to know me inside out that's for me...

 

how about you guys and girls ? Is there anything that is sacred when it comes to sex for you ? Do you reserve yourself for certain acts waiting for that special someone or you can let go whoever the person is?

[Thirdeye]

Well I agree with you, I think thats something that I wouldnt do with anyone unless I was in love.

[Menzoberranzen]

I usually reserve anything but vanilla sex for a boyfriend. I don't mind sleeping with someone I'm involved with, but I'm not likely to indulge any of their fantasies or odd sexual kinks. I don't consider anything sacred, let alone sex, I just generally don't feel giving enough to go further than vanilla sex. There's only one time when someone's ever been upset that there was an act I wasn't willing to do, but he got over it.

 

Menzo

[AFriendlyFace]

I usually reserve anything but vanilla sex for a boyfriend. I don't mind sleeping with someone I'm involved with, but I'm not likely to indulge any of their fantasies or odd sexual kinks. I don't consider anything sacred, let alone sex, I just generally don't feel giving enough to go further than vanilla sex. There's only one time when someone's ever been upset that there was an act I wasn't willing to do, but he got over it.

 

Menzo

 

I tend to agree with Menzo although I wouldn't have explained it in that way at all. Nevertheless, thinking about what he said I realize it probably does apply to me as well.

 

I think the act itself (regardless of exactly which act you're referring to ) isn't innately sacred. Instead I would say that it completely depends on the intentions, motives, and feelings of the people involved. I think whether or not sex is meaningless or meaningful is contingent on...well whether or not you assign it meaning.

 

Just because you've never done it before doesn't make it special or meaningful when you do do it for the first time. It might, but if you've just randomly decided to try it for some non-significant reason, I don't think it's going to be special just because it's your first time.

 

Conversely, just because you have done something before doesn't mean it can't be very meaningful, in fact I don't think it precludes it from being the most meaningful thing, or meaningful incident, you've ever experienced sexually.

 

I was once discussing this with a friend, and finally I just turned to him and summed it all up by saying "sex with you could never be meaningless".

 

Our sexual histories are irrelevant, the point remains that I have too many strong feelings for him to have casual sex. It just couldn't be casual. (and for the record this was all theoretical, just as this discussion is. We've never had sex with each other nor was either of us proposing we do so)

 

As far as what I would or wouldn't do sexually, or would only do with someone special...well that's pretty much where Menzo's definition comes into play. I would never do anything dangerous, risky, or unpleasant with anyone, regardless of what our relationship was or how much he/she meant to me. There are however quite a few things I would be willing to do with someone special. These aren't things I particularly want to do in the first place, but they are things I'm willing to do if my significant other wanted to do them. LOL, I don't feel like providing a comprehensive list though, so you'll all just have to use your imaginations.

 

-Kevin

Edited February 6, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Ieshwar]

Vanilla sex? What is that?

 

And sacred sex... I just discovered an oxymoron.

 

I used to think like moonwolf. Now, i don't. But there are things which I just don't like doing. Will I do it with my bf? No idea!

 

But like Kevin said, it's the intention that matters. The emotions are the only difference in sex and love-making, in my opinion.

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[rknapp]

you'll all just have to use your imaginations.

 

-Kevin

Do you have any idea at all where everyone's mind will go now?? LOL

 

 

Personally, the only thing I mighthold during a casual sexual encounter is my you-know-what. As stated previously, that area of my body is place where I want only a boyfriend to be because he and I would already be sharing something meaningful, so entering me would also be meaningful in that we become a lot closer than ever before. Likewise, I would never expect anyone to do that for me in a casual encounter for exactly the same reason on their part. The only case where I might give up that part of my virginity in a casual encounter is if I wanted to try it to see how it felt. After that, it would be reserved for a significant other.

[Krista]

Hmm.. I hold nothing sacred when it comes to sex. There are some acts that I will absolutely not do and the only thing I would hold sacred is if I still had my virginity - which I kind of lost for the sake of losing it.. lol.. Now though, I just maintain the idea that I will not be a person that has casual sex. I will forever only have sex with someone I'm in a fully committed relationship with - but that's not an act.

[AFriendlyFace]

Vanilla sex? What is that?

It's like "tame sex", nothing too wild or kinky.

 

Do you have any idea at all where everyone's mind will go now?? LOL

Well, I'm not sure, although I am hoping it doesn't rain soon or else I suspect a few people's minds might get wet as the water leaves the rooftops

[Menzoberranzen]

It's like "tame sex", nothing too wild or kinky.

 

 

Well, I'm not sure, although I am hoping it doesn't rain soon or else I suspect a few people's minds might get wet as the water leaves the rooftops

 

Dont worry Kevin, I'll brave the rain

 

Earlier I said:

I usually reserve anything but vanilla sex for a boyfriend. I don't mind sleeping with someone I'm involved with, but I'm not likely to indulge any of their fantasies or odd sexual kinks.

 

I meant to say:

 

I don't mind sleeping with someone I'm not involved with, but I'm not likely to indulge any of their fantasies or odd sexual kinks.

 

I think my post might make a little more sense now. I agree with Kevin in that I am willing to do some things that I would not normally consider for someone particularly special.

 

Menzo

 

PS Vanilla sex is under-rated!

[BeaStKid]

no anal for me unless I am sure that the boy I am with is someone special. I am kinda conservative in this respect...

 

BeaStKid

 

Edit: And I absolutely detest kink of the BDSM sort.... don't get me wrong. I detest it for myself, I have no problems if the other guy is doing it until he wants to try it with me...That's when the problem begins....

[Razor]

Menzo, I heart you. When I rule the world, both you and Kevvers shall be made into keychains so that I might have the benefit of your presence wherever I lose my keys.

 

Yeah... so maybe it makes me sound kinda slutty but sex is sex. The truly important part is whether or not my boyfriend knows that my favorite color is tied between black and blue, that my one and only true motivation in life is helping those I love, that I want my hand to be held whenever possible, that when I'm feeling insecure or afraid a kiss will usually fix it... it's not important if he knows that I happen to be able to swallow a spoon while holding the handle between my teeth. As a sidenote, definitely not the best way to get noticed if you ever want to hang on to them.

 

Now, there's not a lot I won't do with the right guy. I prefer committed, honest, monogamous relationships for obvious reasons. To start, they're far safer, and I delight in being HIV negative. The better reason is that they're far more emotionally satisfying, even if I do end up wanting to kill the boy I'm dating at least half the time. The couple times they do something so right and so perfectly that I never would have seen it coming totally make up for the other ninety percent of the time.

 

Another huge thing is that I don't know how people get into a relationship and then expect sex to be wonderful the very first time they ever do anything. Sorry, but sex is like pretty much everything else in life; before it gets really good it generally requires a bit of know how and practice. I remember that my first time, while incredibly exciting, absolutely sucked, lol. He was terrible, I was terrible, it was all terrible. Since then, I have realized that there are so many different types of guys that it's really possible to like one that is totally sexually incompatible with you, which is a real bummer sometimes.

 

For instance, I was interested in one boy who couldn't kiss to save his life. I don't normally mind it if they're not GREAT, but damn, this boy really had no idea what in the world I wanted and it never got much better. And then there was another boy who sometimes kissed wonderfully, then other times it was like he was trying to eat my face. I don't care how turned on I am, you never, ever, EVER are allowed to go all the way to the tonsils with your tongue.

 

Funny thought, hehe, the absolute best kissers have been girls. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Now hmmm.... well... I dunno, but sex is just separate from love for me. It's best with someone you love, of course, but yeah sex is sex. ~shrug~

[Hylas]

I don't know, okay? LOL

 

I'd want to wait until he comes along, but dammit, why can't the first one be the ONE anyway? I'm against casual sex (i.e. meet in bar, go home together, *CENSORED*). Get to know each other first, always be safe, and hope it gets to the next level. That'll be my philosophy, I think

[Ieshwar]

PS Vanilla sex is under-rated!

 

Sex is over-rated, so is love.

[FrenchCanadian]

Personally, I go more in the line of Kevin,,

 

by itself there's nothing absolutely sacred in sex. It all depends on the intend. I might be more reluctant about kissing, more than just pecks. Usually I don't do anal until I know the guy enough to care for him,, But I'm capable of making a difference between having sex with a "friend" and sex with your lover.

 

Of course It will be more meaning full for me if I care for and have feeling for the other guy, it really makes things much nicer.

[Tiger]

ok a quick question I thought to ask you all... some people have certains restrictions when it comes to sex, they prefer to wait for a real boyfriend before doing certain things, it's sacred for them. For others it's all ok, they're able to just let go

 

Now is there any sexual acts that you reserve only for your special one ? For me my butt is reserved only for my boyfriend... (still single btw) it's a sacred thing, him entering me is allowing him to know me inside out that's for me...

 

how about you guys and girls ? Is there anything that is sacred when it comes to sex for you ? Do you reserve yourself for certain acts waiting for that special someone or you can let go whoever the person is?

I reserve bb for relationships. And yes, I know some say never, but I disagree. First of all, I won't do that without testing and at least 4 months of time before it's on the table. I couldn't do that for someone I did not love.

[Tom]

I don't know, okay? LOL

 

I'd want to wait until he comes along, but dammit, why can't the first one be the ONE anyway? I'm against casual sex (i.e. meet in bar, go home together, *CENSORED*). Get to know each other first, always be safe, and hope it gets to the next level. That'll be my philosophy, I think

 

I agree whole heartedly...sex in it self is one person giving them selfs to another. If I don't have feelings for a person they ain't getting in my pants! of course I'm old fashoned...might as well stress the old part too

 

hugs,

Tom

[AFriendlyFace]

I don't mind sleeping with someone I'm involved with,

 

I meant to say:

 

I don't mind sleeping with someone I'm not involved with

Ya know, I think it's like that perception exercise where your mind just fills in the spaces and sees things that aren't really there because it knows they're supposed to be...I never even noticed

 

Menzo, I heart you. When I rule the world, both you and Kevvers shall be made into keychains so that I might have the benefit of your presence wherever I lose my keys.

Awww

 

Since I'd quite like to be on a keychain, any ideas as to how to install you as world ruler supreme?

Yeah... so maybe it makes me sound kinda slutty but sex is sex. The truly important part is whether or not my boyfriend knows that my favorite color is tied between black and blue, that my one and only true motivation in life is helping those I love, that I want my hand to be held whenever possible, that when I'm feeling insecure or afraid a kiss will usually fix it...

I agree with you on all those points! (except that my favourite colour is definitely blue. It'd be cool if he knows my 2nd favourite colour is green though)

 

it's not important if he knows that I happen to be able to swallow a spoon while holding the handle between my teeth. As a sidenote, definitely not the best way to get noticed if you ever want to hang on to them.

As another side-note, if you take the teeth out of the equation and substitute something else for spoon it might be a very good way to hang on to them

 

 

I reserve bb for relationships. And yes, I know some say never, but I disagree. First of all, I won't do that without testing and at least 4 months of time before it's on the table. I couldn't do that for someone I did not love.

Hmm, as one who disagrees, I would ask how you know they're not cheating on you? Oh obviously it's about trust, and doing it that way probably reduces the risk significantly over doing it randomly, but...well still seems a little iffy to me.

 

Anyway, personally that particular activity doesn't hold any appeal to me. Seems a bit gross without a condom actually.

 

 

Just my opinions of course,

 

Take care all

-Kevin

[Razor]

Kevvers, first we must take Russia. With their vast amounts of barely tapped resources, we will have a support system for our campaign to take Asia. Japan and China's manufacturing and technological superiority will refine these resources into the tools of war; lead based paint and Aquadots. After we have successfully subdued the developed world's children with chemicals that turn to GHB when metabolized, we may then use subliminal messages to indoctrinate them as devoted soldiers. We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and perhaps Michael Jackson if he finds out the GHB and kids.

 

Oh, and condoms are not optional until I go to the health department with boyfriend in tow. I don't care how much they dislike them, they save lives. Also, until I trust them to never ever cheat on me, I don't think I'd be losing the condoms. Also, I'd probably wait six months after I trust them completely anyway just to be safe. It's rare, but sometimes HIV takes six months to be detectable. Kevvers, the big issue is if the hygiene is in place... as long as certain things are taken care of, it's not an issue.

 

Haha, well, let's just say that usually when I pull out the spoon trick it's only good for a fun time.

 

~yawn~ I'm sleepy, so bye bye for now.

[Tiger]

Hmm, as one who disagrees, I would ask how you know they're not cheating on you? Oh obviously it's about trust, and doing it that way probably reduces the risk significantly over doing it randomly, but...well still seems a little iffy to me.

 

Anyway, personally that particular activity doesn't hold any appeal to me. Seems a bit gross without a condom actually.

 

 

Just my opinions of course,

 

Take care all

-Kevin

Kevin, I would not allow it unless I trusted that person completely. It's not a decision I take lightly at all. Besides, it takes a while for me to trust anyone that much. Thus, something like that is a rarity. I believe in safety above all else. I would have to be 100% sure of fidelity before I would even consider it.

 

Tim

[FrenchCanadian]

Hmm, as one who disagrees, I would ask how you know they're not cheating on you? Oh obviously it's about trust, and doing it that way probably reduces the risk significantly over doing it randomly, but...well still seems a little iffy to me.

 

Anyway, personally that particular activity doesn't hold any appeal to me. Seems a bit gross without a condom actually.

 

 

Just my opinions of course,

 

Take care all

-Kevin

 

Well, yes there will be always a chance that the other will cheat on you and that way get infected,,, then it can be bad, and you can hope that you haven't been. But I don't think you can stop on that, I mean say a str8 relationship,, at one point they will stop the condoms,, cause they know they're both safe,, but the same can happen one can cheat the other.

 

I say that if you're in a committed relationship, it's a calculated risk

[S.L. Lewis]

First off...sex without a condom with some random person you picked up from the clubs (or anywhere else for that matter) is just idiotic. To many nasty little things running around.

Second of all, I've never had sex with a guy, but have had sex with my 2 ex-girlfriends. But then again, it was like 6 months into our relationships that I finally had sex with them.

I think that it depends from relationship to relationship and person to person. Some times a person doesn't even want to conteplate sex until they're married, while others could care less as long as the person uses protection.

Personally, I'm now waiting for that someone special to come around (single and about ready to shot someone out of boredom.)

[oneoftheguys]

Vanilla sex? What is that?

 

 

I was wondering that too, learn something new everyday.

 

 

I'd like to think that I would wait to have any type of sex until i'm in a commited relationship, but since that seems unlikely to happen anytime soon since good boyfriends or boyfriends in general are so hard to find. However, when i find said boyfriend (hint hint Wally Szczerbiak thats your cue) I think I would be up for anything, I mean this is Wally were talking about here. Guess as long as were both okay with it and respect each other afterwards and during, and are comfortable nothing reasonable should be off limits as long as were safe.

[Tiger]

I found some good definitions for Vanilla Sex on Urban Dictionary. Basically, it's sex of the non-kink variety.

[FrenchCanadian]

I found some good definitions for Vanilla Sex on Urban Dictionary. Basically, it's sex of the non-kink variety.

 

So basically anything that is plain, and nothing too hard,,, some would say the boring kind,,,lol

[Tiger]

So basically anything that is plain, and nothing too hard,,, some would say the boring kind,,,lol

No, it's more like passionate love-making.