[Corvus] Menzoberranzen

[C James]

Menzoberranzen

[C James]

Review by TL The Writing Tiger

 

The rural desert can be a lonely and unforgiving place. This story is a reminder of why we should take action and not remain silent when others face great peril. The ending definitely reinforced my belief in speaking out.

 

I enjoyed the story. The scenery really accentuated the events of the story quite well. The story was well-constructed and definitely one I suggest reading if you don

[Krista]

I made a point to read your Anthology first (not because you're my editor), but damn I wasn't disappointed at all. I loved most how the story slowly came together, starting from scattered flashbacks and worked it's way to every connection I had in my mind, from the parts. The scenery, the place in time, and the old-fashioned way of thinking the town had all meshed together to have an impacting impression that was distinctly vivid in my mind. I could see them, and in the span of a small story, you know the small town in the county entirely, without knowing too much about any supporting characters at all.

 

So yes, loved it. I read it twice and I'll read it a few more times I'm sure.

[Tiff]

My two favorite anthologies were by you and Corvus. They create this raw emotion in you, compel you to feel what the character feels, to transport yourself in their bodies.

 

The most painful scene was Jamie's sppech, asking what the bullies wanted from him. And then he broke down sobbing. I could imagine an injured boy with broken spirits crying on the ground, with people watching but not caring.

 

Actually, there was so much in this story, that really just hits you with the crying stick! The dog being shot, Jamie crying to Sean about losing her, the scene when Sean tries to comfort Jamie, and finally the end- a powerful conclusion to an entirely powerful story. Finally the sheriff feels guilt, and I love that Sean reiterates the fact that even if no one physically killed Jamie, they crushed him to the point where death was the only option. Took away everything from him, indeed. The cruelty of the ignorant mind just amazes me.

 

I could go on and on, but it would become tiresome. Overall, I loved this story. It was so real, so touching, and so beautiful. I won't get any sleep tonight.

[corvus]

This was almost physically painful to read. I applaud the scene-by-scene approach. It's very effective and managed not to be confusing. The tone of the story managed to be both objective and profoundly sympathetic at the same time. I think it's quite a difficult balancing act that you managed to pull off very well.

 

I haven't read all the entries, but I don't think any story could supersede this in terms of pure angst. At least, I don't think I'd be able to handle another one like this...

[GaryK]

I wasn't going to attempt to read another anthology tonight. That was until I saw the reviews that Tiff and corvus had posted. I like and respect them both so much. She and I are both part of corvus' stalker's fan club. How could I go to sleep wondering what they were referring to? So I read it while listening to Mozart's Requiem. Yeah, you don't have to tell me how apropos that was!

 

Your style of writing was unique to me. It was a little bit confusing until I finally realized what was going on and sensed what was coming. Even with a premonition of dread I continued to read on. The physical and emotional pain got worse with each new scene. By the end I was in tears for only the second time tonight/this morning. The balance between Sean's point of view and that of everyone else was well done. Clearly you put a lot of effort into this story and I appreciate it.

 

I'm with Tiff about this and corvus' stories being my favorite anthologies. It's somehow fitting that at the end of both stories someone at last came to a realization after it was too late to do anything about what had happened.

Edited March 29, 2008 by GaryInMiami

[AFriendlyFace]

God, what an awesome story! Great job, Menzo, I thoroughly enjoyed it and made a point to read it first. It was haunting and evocative, nothing less than what I was expecting from you.

[Menzoberranzen]

Thanks for the great response guys! It was a story that sort of appeared out of nowhere; I wasn't planning on writing anything like it. As my previous anthology entries have suggested, I'm partial to bleak stories, but whereas much of what I write focuses on personal daemons, I wrote this one to examine external daemons and the effect they can have on a person. Sometimes personal strength in the face of adversity simply isn't enough.

 

Anyway, thanks again for the positive reviews. I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

 

Menzo

[jfalkon]

This was by far the sadest story I have read in a long time. It was painful to read but worth it. Great job!

[Graeme]

I wrote this one to examine external daemons and the effect they can have on a person. Sometimes personal strength in the face of adversity simply isn't enough.

You're right, and the story shows it well. Sometimes things are too tough for one person to bear. Even with support from others, like Sean in the story, it can get too much.

 

One of the more distasteful things I found in the story was the shooting of the dog. The sheriff had a chance at that point to get some partial redemption, but he accept that killing simply because the dog was associated with a gay guy. What was done to James was bad enough, I don't want to downplay that, but the mindlessness of shooting of the dog shows how they thought of James as being at the same level -- less than human.

 

If, as the sheriff said, he pays his respects to everyone who dies in the county, why couldn't he pay his respects to everyone who lives in the county? Do they have to die to get respect?

 

Sorry, going off on a rant here. I read this story a long time ago, when I was doing the formatting, and the behaviour of the sheriff, and the others in the town, still irritates me.

Edited April 30, 2008 by Graeme