Racial attraction

[canundra]

I just had a very interesting, heated debate with someone about attraction to different races. I told this person that I was generally attracted to white guys, but also could be attracted to people of other races. He responded with, "Ewww! You're a potato queen!" (FYI: Potato queen = Asians who are only attracted to white men. Y'know. Brown on the outside. White on the inside. LOL) He found it offensive when Asians were only attracted to white men, but yet, did not find it offensive when Asians were only attracted to Asians. He called it, the former, being narrow minded. And yet the latter, to him, was being open minded. Or at least, doing the "right" thing.

 

I'd like to know what you guys think. Is it wrong to be attracted only, or generally, to one particular race that's not your own? Is it the right thing to be attracted to your own race over others? I answer in the negative for both questions, but I'm curious as to what other people think.

 

Edited April 16, 2008 by canundra

[Tiger]

I'm attracted to mostly to Whites and Hispanics; it's about equal with those two. I also happen to like some blacks (especially those who are mixed with White) and some Asians. In other words, race does not matter much to me at all. There are much more important concerns.

[Tarin]

Hmm.

Well, I'll be frank.

 

I find there to be attractive people in mostly every race, for some reason I don't like dark skin, or the

[canundra]

I don't think it is wrong to be attracted to only one race. I mean, it is physical attraction, its something we cannot control just like being attracted to men or women or both.

 

That's exactly what I said. I told him that it was hypocritical to say that there was nothing wrong with being attracted to men over women, but yet there was something wrong to be attracted to a certain race over another.

 

Personally, I think his objections are rooted in a very strong sense of race. My parents would most likely have the same sentiments as this guy. They find it more appropriate for me to date someone of my own race, rather than someone of a different race. I guess it's the changing times that have me believe differently, but what surprised me is that this guy was my age, 18, and yet, still had the same views that I find to be so archaic.

[rknapp]

Most generally I am attracted largely to people of my own race, but that's not to say that I don't ever find others to be attractive. Come to think of it, all my sexual encounters (yes, all two of them, if you count the hispanic guy who was all over me that one time as sexual) have been with people of other races... interesting.

[old bob]

For me, race has nothing to do with attraction .

I have some criteria about lust, crush, male or female beauty, and race or skin color doesn't belong to them.

Its a "chemical" process : mixing of sex pheromones, of remaining of old images combined with pleasant feelings, depending of your mood in the moment. Sometimes, foreign race is not my taste and there is no attraction. Sometimes, I need a change and my first feelings are positive, just because the race.

I don't have a lot of experiences myself, but I had a daughter who was very fond of other "races". She brought home (but only one after the other and never for a long time ! ) Chinese, Hispanics, Gypsies, Afro-Americans, Beauties from Martinique, and sometimes even Swiss hippies ! They were always well adapted to the situation and belonged to the family as long as my daughter was ready to accept them. Sometimes we had at the beginning problems to be accustomed with the first names, which changed so often....Funny times and funny/happy life .

Old Bob (laughing from these memories)

[Ieshwar]

Well, I never base beauty or 'hotness' by race. I have seen hot Whites, hot Mauritians *fans himself*, hot Indians, hot hispanics (Oh lala! ), hot blacks, hot Asians...

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[BeaStKid]

Well, I never base beauty or 'hotness' by race. I have seen hot Whites, hot Mauritians *fans himself*, hot Indians, hot hispanics (Oh lala! ), hot blacks, hot Asians...

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

I concur.

 

For me, beauty is a relative term. What someone considers beautiful can be ugly to another and visa versa (and this is going to the extremes )

 

For me, a guy/gal is beautiful not only from the physical aspect, but also from the inside. The guy I have a crush on (crush? That is too shallow a word for what I feel for him, but that's the best I can use now as Love is too deep.) is not the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. I have seen far more handsome boys (physically handsome) than him.

 

What attracts me to him are his looks as well as his qualities. And therein lies the difference in my opinion of 'beautiful'. It is ingrained in me that I do not feel attracted to those guys whose personality I do not like..

 

I think I am rambling here...the gist is that beauty is not based on religion.

 

Thanks

BeaStKid

[scoopny]

Well, I never base beauty or 'hotness' by race. I have seen hot Whites, hot Mauritians *fans himself*, hot Indians, hot hispanics (Oh lala! ), hot blacks, hot Asians...

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

 

I agree with you completely. It's not really how a guy looks that matters to me (I mean it does matter to an extent but you can be completely totally goregous and then open your mouth and say something completely stupid and all of a sudden I lose interest faster than air escaping from a punctured tire) but more who the guy person is, if I'm attracted to a type, it's more about a personality type (sweet funny, nerdy boys of any race will get my attention) more than a race.

[JamesSavik]

I think that its interesting to note that serial killers almost never kill outside their own race. When they do kill outside their race, it is either an accident, mistaken idenity or because they are about to be discovered.

[Benji]

I think that its interesting to note that serial killers almost never kill outside their own race. When they do kill outside their race, it is either an accident, mistaken idenity or because they are about to be discovered.

 

 

...........That's an interesting and scary observation!! I wonder why?

[Tiger]

...........That's an interesting and scary observation!! I wonder why?

I don't think I even want to know to be honest. Serial killers are sadistic and cruel people. Understanding their motivations means learning everything about them from how and what they think to careful examinations of their victimology and ritualism. Killing members of one's own race is quite common. I would say that most murders follow that pattern. I also think there is an increased risk of people killing former lovers than other people. It's just a fact of life, but this really is a little off-topic. If anyone else is interested, I would think that a thread about serial killers and their motivations would be great for The Soapbox.

[NaperVic]

I'd like to know what you guys think. Is it wrong to be attracted only, or generally, to one particular race that's not your own? Is it the right thing to be attracted to your own race over others? I answer in the negative for both questions, but I'm curious as to what other people think.

 

I don't think it's wrong to be racially specific in whom you are attracted to. You can't help what you are and aren't attracted to.

 

Some people like hairy, others smooth...tall others short, boy next doorblond hair/blue eyes others nerdy/pale/thin as a stick.

 

Race is just another factor for some people.

 

Personally, I'm only attracted to white guys (and the nerdy/pale/thin variety make my toes curl ) . I'm asian, and I've always only been attracted to white guys.

 

I prefer the moniker Dairy Queen over potato

Edited April 16, 2008 by NaperVic

[JamesSavik]

...........That's an interesting and scary observation!! I wonder why?

 

Since most people here are attracted to the person rather than the race, apparently we don't have any serial killers.

 

In my on background, my man-friends have been white/american indian, jewish, mulatto, hispanic and ameri-asian.

 

I have found that that many gay American white males have intimacy problems directly related to conflicting sexual roles/social expectations. I expect this comes from culture and socialization.

[scoopny]

I prefer the moniker Dairy Queen over potato

 

I know you guys like the term Dairy queen, but yikes! Don't use that around term some of my asian friends, they will freak out, potato queen will be worse actually.

 

Although this thing about guys liking particular races does make approaching a guy quite difficult. You have to do a quick mental calculation whether it is even worth talking to a guy because he might rule you out because you're the wrong race -- I've even had that happen to me when I hit on black guys before, . And then it means that maybe I won't approach a guy because I'll think that I have no chance because I'm just not his type and I'll be missing out because in fact, he doesn't care. Dating is so confusing! I mean I understand it and all, but it just doesn't seem as much fun to limit yourself, lol. A guy can seduce me with an interesting story. One guy I went on a date with told me all about growing up in Korea, another all about Jamaica, if you can tell me about something I don't already know, if you can make me laugh (or laugh at my ridiculously bad jokes) and feel at ease, that's enough for me.

[S.L. Lewis]

I have to say, I don't care what race a person is, but I do have a thing for mulattos. They make me drool. Male or female, I don't care.

Like it's said before, it's all about preference for looks, what a person is looking for personality wise and how their body reacts to that person.

[corvus]

I think the concept of "attraction" merits further definition. There's a difference between thinking a guy is cute/hot and having this fiery gut instinct. That sort of gut instinct, the most visceral and animalistic implication of attraction, comes to me most often w/ Caucasians and Hispanics. My racial domain of "cute" preference (which I'd describe as a lukewarm attraction) is much broader than that, though it doesn't happen to include African Americans. (I feel a tad bit guilty about that. Is it being racist?? :wacko: )

 

Anyway though, attraction is a very finicky sort of thing. Although you could say my attraction preference leans to individuals outside my own racial group, the only person I've ever had a crush on (yes... I've only had one "emotional" crush, I'd say) is Asian.

 

I do wonder why this is the case. There must be a lot of habituation (i.e. why many people don't find siblings, relatives attractive) and media involvement at work. I mean, you see a lot of hot *white* guys who embody positive values. Much less of other racial groups.

[Rigel]

I think that its interesting to note that serial killers almost never kill outside their own race. When they do kill outside their race, it is either an accident, mistaken idenity or because they are about to be discovered.

Alas, today is the first anniversary of the massacre at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, which serves as counterfactual evidence to your statement. Remembering the Hokies today.

[NaperVic]

I prefer the moniker Dairy Queen over potato

 

I was PMedly asked to explain what 'Dairy Queen' meant, so I figured I would explain here in case some others didn't know.

 

Dairy Queen(n) - A gay man only attracted to caucasians . (#2 on the Urban Dictionary )

 

Dairy...Milk...White

 

A Rice Queen is a guy who only dates asians.

Edited April 17, 2008 by NaperVic

[JamesSavik]

Alas, today is the first anniversary of the massacre at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, which serves as counterfactual evidence to your statement. Remembering the Hokies today.

 

Seung-Hui Cho was a spree-killer, not a serial killer. There's a big difference.

[Tiger]

Seung-Hui Cho was a spree-killer, not a serial killer. There's a big difference.

That's true. Serial killers are more about their rituals and how their rituals satisfy their desires. Spree killers want to make a statement. It's usually f*ck the world. There's also a type of serial killer that goes from place to place and kills as many people as possible without regard to race or gender. They are said to be at the very top on Most Evil. Anyway, considering that there are few serial killers and that most victims are women, I don't think we have to worry about being killed a serial killer. Just because someone prefers someone of his or her own race does mean that the person is a serial killer. Again, I think a thread in The Soapbox about serial killers is a good idea.

[Tiff]

I think the concept of "attraction" merits further definition. There's a difference between thinking a guy is cute/hot and having this fiery gut instinct. That sort of gut instinct, the most visceral and animalistic implication of attraction, comes to me most often w/ Caucasians and Hispanics. My racial domain of "cute" preference (which I'd describe as a lukewarm attraction) is much broader than that, though it doesn't happen to include African Americans. (I feel a tad bit guilty about that. Is it being racist?? :wacko: )

 

You're not racist; it is what it is. Your attraction is beyond your control and if you don't feel it for a specific race, there's nothing you can do about it. As for race, I can go for anyone, really, as long as I genuinely click with them and find them attractive by my own standards. However, I do find that I connect on a much deeper level with minorities. Asians the most, then the other miniorities (hispanics, africans). As for a person dating someone within their own race, it's natural to gravitate towards what looks and appears familar. And usually, in America, where the population is so heterogenous, well, race means a lot. You want to be with people of your own race, so you feel some sort of relativity, or you have strength in numbers. Majority vs. minority thing. I've experienced this at my last job and at school. In other countries with a more homogenous population, it's more based on socioeconomic status. I had been previously discussing this with a friend.

 

Did you know at my college, there is literally a hispanic/african campus, a white campus, and an Asian campus. Of course there are other races mixed in, but this is generally how the makeup is.

 

I do wonder why this is the case. There must be a lot of habituation (i.e. why many people don't find siblings, relatives attractive) and media involvement at work. I mean, you see a lot of hot *white* guys who embody positive values. Much less of other racial groups.

 

As for whites being more attractive, I blame that on the media. Whites are portrayed as being richer, smarter, and better looking. Now, on commercials and stuff, I see more variety, but in the past, everything was white. Nothing wrong with that though; but other racial groups are just as attractive. One of my friends, who lives in a third world country, says the media is so strong that he only likes white guys, and his sisters married white guys. They aren't even attracted to other Asians; it's what they were taught or what was ingrained in their heads.

 

On the other hand, maybe you're not attracted to a specific race. Maybe it just happens that all the guys you ever dated have the same qualities and they were from the same racial group? One big coincidence?

 

I don't know. :wacko:

[colinian]

I'm attracted to guys and girls regardless of their race, and I have good friends who are Black, Hispanic, Asian, Indian, and Native American. However... I think Asian guys are super HOT! It's their eyes and spiky black hair that makes me breathe faster. My partner Doug is Chinese and that's what attracted me to him the first time I saw him. BTW, I'm probably 100% Irish, my folks, grandparents, and great-grandparents are all of Irish ancestry. All of my great-great-grandparents came from Ireland. That's as far back as I know about.

 

Colin

[Julian Alexander]

See for me, I'm attracted mostly to white guys. For Hispanic men, I'm somewhat attracted to them. As for "Asians", I'm more attracted towards Japanese guys.

I've never found any black man attractive (That does include mulatto), something just doesn't click with me when i look at them.

 

-Jules

[scoopny]

Not to be a thread nanny but NO ONE uses the word mulatto anymore in english, bi-racial is the preferred term.