Racial attraction

[Tiger]

Not to be a thread nanny but NO ONE uses the word mulatto anymore in english, bi-racial is the preferred term.

That does not surprise me. Everything changes so a lot over time. I happen to think a lot of bi-racial people are very attractive.

[Krista]

I was a Junior in high school before I saw anyone that wasn't my own race. So, I am strongly attracted to my own race, but there have been a few African American men especially that I could see myself dating if I got to know them a lot better as I am open to dating outside my race, but as far as preferences I can relate to and be more comfortable with dating within my race.

[AFriendlyFace]

I'd like to know what you guys think. Is it wrong to be attracted only, or generally, to one particular race that's not your own? Is it the right thing to be attracted to your own race over others? I answer in the negative for both questions, but I'm curious as to what other people think.

Well first off, I don't think there's any value judgments to be made based on the race of someone's attraction.

 

I'm very very open minded when it comes to...well nearly everything ...but specifically dating, sex, attraction, etc. I've dated and/or messed around with whites, asians, hispanics, and blacks, and my focus wasn't on their race. Just whether or not I liked them and was attracted to them.

 

That said, I very much have a type. The fact that someone isn't my 'type' won't automatically preclude them, but there is a type.

 

First off, as I said in the body hair thread I'm all about SMOOTH. I also tend to prefer slender, slim, toned, or lean muscle. Average to muscular is okay, but I prefer smaller. I also prefer smaller in terms of height. Ideally the person should be about my height 5'10. One or two inches either way is fine, but if there's a larger height disparity I much prefer shorter guys to taller guys. I like guys with longer, fuller, shaggier hair and I significantly prefer straight hair to wavy or curly.

 

That said, it's quite obvious that my 'type' is very often Asians. I think Asian boys are by and large very very beautiful! My other big 'type' is fair-haired white boys.

 

Again I'm fine with darker haired white boys, but often that's where the body hair thing comes more into play. Not always though, and happily most twinkish gay boys are good about staying smooth

 

Blacks and Hispanics generally interest me less, and I certainly don't have a 'fetish' for them, the way I do with Asians and light-haired whites, but at the same time I've seen some incredibly hot ones! I certainly wouldn't be surprised if I found myself attracted to and dating a black or Hispanic person.

 

I've had less experience with other races, but I'm sure this would essentially hold true.

 

My attraction to females is slightly different however. I'm still very attracted to blondes and red-heads if they're white, but I also have a major attraction to slender, black girls.

 

At one of my old jobs there was this gorgeous black girl! When we first met I found it hard not to stare. She was a lesbian though and in a relationship, and of course I was gay, so while we developed a pretty good friendship nothing ever came of it. Still, I recently heard that she'd broken up with her girlfriend and started dating a guy and I couldn't help but feel...I dunno jealous I guess, and like I'd missed an opportunity I didn't think existed.

 

My only other big attraction quirk is that I'm proportionately very seldom attracted to straight guys. I just like the average gay guy's looks AND personality a lot more, and I find them much easier to understand and relate to, so straight guys just don't interest me very much. The only ones that do would be like the laid-back 'surfer' or 'hippie' dudes or maybe a 'metrosexual'.

 

I don't have a lot of experiences myself, but I had a daughter who was very fond of other "races". She brought home (but only one after the other and never for a long time ! ) Chinese, Hispanics, Gypsies, Afro-Americans, Beauties from Martinique, and sometimes even Swiss hippies ! They were always well adapted to the situation and belonged to the family as long as my daughter was ready to accept them. Sometimes we had at the beginning problems to be accustomed with the first names, which changed so often....Funny times and funny/happy life .

Old Bob (laughing from these memories)

What a wonderful story!

 

I prefer the moniker Dairy Queen over potato

I've heard that use of the phrase; however, I personally prefer to playfully refer to myself as a 'Dairy Queen' because of my proclivity for cheese

 

Although this thing about guys liking particular races does make approaching a guy quite difficult. You have to do a quick mental calculation whether it is even worth talking to a guy because he might rule you out because you're the wrong race -- I've even had that happen to me when I hit on black guys before, . And then it means that maybe I won't approach a guy because I'll think that I have no chance because I'm just not his type and I'll be missing out because in fact, he doesn't care. Dating is so confusing! I mean I understand it and all, but it just doesn't seem as much fun to limit yourself, lol.

I certainly agree with that sentiment. Also, with regards to the rest, on the bright side everyone is sort of at that same disadvantage of not knowing if the person they're interested in has a 'type' and whether or not they automatically make or fail to make it, so at least we're all on even ground in that regard

 

I do wonder why this is the case. There must be a lot of habituation (i.e. why many people don't find siblings, relatives attractive) and media involvement at work. I mean, you see a lot of hot *white* guys who embody positive values. Much less of other racial groups.

I suppose that's true. Personally, however, I have to say that the majority of the stereotypes I've seen/heard about Asians have been things I would regard as 'positive'. If you ask me Whites AND Asians do get a 'better rap' than Hispanics or Blacks when it comes to the media.

 

I've frequently wondered whether this might account for the fact that those two groups tend to be the ones I'm more attracted to by and large. On the other hand, I've also wondered whether it's simply a case of me looking for 'confirmation'. Like if I already found Asians really HOT, maybe I just notice the positive things and ignore the negative things that the media and society tend to portray?

 

 

Just my thoughts,

Kevin

Edited April 18, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Azure Dragon]

Not to be a thread nanny but NO ONE uses the word mulatto anymore in english, bi-racial is the preferred term.

Thanks for pointing that out, since I was going to say something. But anyway, race plays a huge factor in my dating life whether I want it to or not. A lot of people think I'm not attracted to black men, when I'm really not attracted to thugs and hardcore glamour queens, and most black guys I've met in Cleveland have been one or the other. If I am attracted to them, they'll turn me down because I "act white," whatever the hell that means. Furthermore, the black guys who fit the geek persona I swoon over (and are cute) tend to only date white guys. So even though I'm willing to date within my race and am open to the possibility, I'm not holding my breath till the right black man comes my way...much to my mom's chagrin.

 

There's no lack of frustration with other races, though. Most of the time, I'm nonexistent to them because I don't have blonde hair and blue eyes. Like someone else said, I've gotten to the point where I don't even approach many guys anymore and would rather let them make the first move; at least that way I know they're attracted to me. But even then, I'm not impressed by guys who have a "thing" for black men. It might sound good on paper, but they don't see me as a person. I'm just a phallic sex object who exists only to give them pleasure. That might work for some men of color, but f**K that. Either approach me as an emotional equal or not at all.

[scoopny]

Thanks for pointing that out, since I was going to say something. But anyway, race plays a huge factor in my dating life whether I want it to or not. A lot of people think I'm not attracted to black men, when I'm really not attracted to thugs and hardcore glamour queens, and most black guys I've met in Cleveland have been one or the other. If I am attracted to them, they'll turn me down because I "act white," whatever the hell that means. Furthermore, the black guys who fit the geek persona I swoon over (and are cute) tend to only date white guys. So even though I'm willing to date within my race and am open to the possibility, I'm not holding my breath till the right black man comes my way...much to my mom's chagrin.

 

There's no lack of frustration with other races, though. Most of the time, I'm nonexistent to them because I don't have blonde hair and blue eyes. Like someone else said, I've gotten to the point where I don't even approach many guys anymore and would rather let them make the first move; at least that way I know they're attracted to me. But even then, I'm not impressed by guys who have a "thing" for black men. It might sound good on paper, but they don't see me as a person. I'm just a phallic sex object who exists only to give them pleasure. That might work for some men of color, but f**K that. Either approach me as an emotional equal or not at all.

 

There are geeky black guys out there! Trust on that. . But yes they may be few and far between. Once a guy came up to me with the pick-up line "I'm in the mood for chocolate tonight." I laughed so hard, I couldn't even hear the next words he said.

[Demetz]

Okay... I've held off this topic long enough, and I'm choosing not to vote in the poll because there should be more options available than "my race, not my race, and equal"

 

I'm attracted mostly to the range between "twink" and "average" build... I actually tend to like brown hair more than blonde on either sex... when it comes to race I have about the same issue as Azure does for black men... I'm not interested in the slightest in thug culture and frankly there aren't many black guys around this area for me to be attracted to anyway. Very few black guys I've seen seem to fit into the slender/geeky/cute frame that I'm most attracted to, but there was one at college who caught my eye. I was already in a relationship at that time though.

 

Hispanics, Asians and whites I seem to be attracted to at about the same rate.

 

And Kevin? Nothing wrong with the hairy guys They can be cute and sweet too and if you fall in love with one in time you may even like the hair being there

[Razor]

As for physical attraction, I want white boys. Darkly tanned white boys are less attractive to me, too. I don't know why, they just are the most physically alluring for me.

 

That said, personality trumps race, and the right black/asian/hispanic guy I could be head over heels for and think nothing sexier existed.

[scoopny]

Actually you know, what bothers me most and this has happened once or twice is not that a guy isn't into you, but that he is and I don't know because of family pressures, society, what have you, doesn't think a relationship would work because you're both of cultural or racial. I mean that quickly makes a boy not worth my time, but still, annoying.

[corvus]

You're not racist; it is what it is. Your attraction is beyond your control and if you don't feel it for a specific race, there's nothing you can do about it.

 

Good. Glad to know I'm not being a racist bigot, haha.

 

As for whites being more attractive, I blame that on the media. Whites are portrayed as being richer, smarter, and better looking. Now, on commercials and stuff, I see more variety, but in the past, everything was white. Nothing wrong with that though; but other racial groups are just as attractive. One of my friends, who lives in a third world country, says the media is so strong that he only likes white guys, and his sisters married white guys. They aren't even attracted to other Asians; it's what they were taught or what was ingrained in their heads.

 

That's amazing, that there's such a hold in the third world country! I've not heard of that. No wonder so many Asian guys have this fear of "yellow fever" -- i.e., white guys taking all the Asian chicks.

 

 

I suppose that's true. Personally, however, I have to say that the majority of the stereotypes I've seen/heard about Asians have been things I would regard as 'positive'. If you ask me Whites AND Asians do get a 'better rap' than Hispanics or Blacks when it comes to the media.

 

I've frequently wondered whether this might account for the fact that those two groups tend to be the ones I'm more attracted to by and large. On the other hand, I've also wondered whether it's simply a case of me looking for 'confirmation'. Like if I already found Asians really HOT, maybe I just notice the positive things and ignore the negative things that the media and society tend to portray?

 

I think 'positive' is different from 'attractive.' Yes, Asians are stereotypically smarter than everyone else, and higher achievers, blablabla, but how many nerds do you see modeling? The clean but primal edge in jock/athlete types, which I imagine fuels a lot of attraction, is a white male thing.

[scoopny]

The clean but primal edge in jock/athlete types, which I imagine fuels a lot of attraction, is a white male thing.

 

Being a jock is a white male thing, I must be watching the wrong professional sports in the United States.

[Rabble_Rouser]

I think I'm more in line with Dementz. It's body type that seems to be the biggest factor in what attracts me but I do have a thing for guys with red hair! After that it's personality... doesn't matter how attractive I find someone, if the personality doesn't fit there is no sense in pursuing it.

 

Steve

[AFriendlyFace]

I do have a thing for guys with red hair!

After years as a blond, I'm typically a red-head nowadays. I have to say it definitely seems like the kind of thing people either love or hate! Personally when it comes to other people I love it, but it seems that for every person that loves it another thinks it makes the person ugly or at least considerably less attractive. I would definitely say it's the most controversial hair colour.

 

I look pretty 'natural' as a red-head unless I do an extreme colour (which sometimes I do ), so most of the time people think it's legitimate and even my natural hair colour has enough red tones that I have been described as a red-head before. In any case I'm always amazed by the sheer number of people who seem to only want to talk to me because I have red-hair (or at least use that as an excuse/major motivator) as well as the number of people who seem to automatically lose interest in me as a viable possibility.

 

Of course for me this is fine since one of the main reasons I like having red hair - apart from liking it on others - is because it is more 'edgy' than most other colours, and the way I often dress and behave probably just accentuates that even more lol

[NaperVic]

I do wonder why this is the case. There must be a lot of habituation (i.e. why many people don't find siblings, relatives attractive) and media involvement at work. I mean, you see a lot of hot *white* guys who embody positive values. Much less of other racial groups.

 

As for whites being more attractive, I blame that on the media. Whites are portrayed as being richer, smarter, and better looking. Now, on commercials and stuff, I see more variety, but in the past, everything was white. Nothing wrong with that though; but other racial groups are just as attractive. One of my friends, who lives in a third world country, says the media is so strong that he only likes white guys, and his sisters married white guys. They aren't even attracted to other Asians; it's what they were taught or what was ingrained in their heads.

 

I have to agree. When my siblings & I were growing up, most images of 'Beauty' were of white people (TV, magazines, toys, etc). Barbie was blond and pretty... Ken? Hot as hell (too bad he was lacking in the package department...you know you looked too ).

 

My sister is married to a white guy, and looking back, I think all of us have only dated white. My parents are okay with it, but I think they'd be extremely happy if at least one of us brought home a Filipino boy for a change.

 

Take Care®,

 

Vic

[Tiger]

I have to agree. When my siblings & I were growing up, most images of 'Beauty' were of white people (TV, magazines, toys, etc). Barbie was blond and pretty... Ken? Hot as hell (too bad he was lacking in the package department...you know you looked too ).

 

My sister is married to a white guy, and looking back, I think all of us have only dated white. My parents are okay with it, but I think they'd be extremely happy if at least one of us brought home a Filipino boy for a change.

 

Take Care

[Daisy]

I've never even thought about this before. The people that I have been interested in have all been white almost. The only guy who wasnt, his mum was from sri lanka, but he's fairly white. I think why I've never thought about it is because pretty much everyone around me is white. I do have a few friends and aquaintances of different colour and some from all around the world, but I've lived in pre-dominantly white places really so not been many people of different colours to even have the chance of attracting me. but I'm sure I could, because its generally the person, their persona that attracts me the most anyway .

 

Celia

[AFriendlyFace]

Well I've dated (and broken up with) another Asian since this thread first came around.

[Jack Frost]

Whites.

 

But I got an Asian for a boyfriend. It's just white guys get my attention so often.

 

I don't make race an issue anyway. Just a matter of taste.

[BeaStKid]

I don't care either way...

[B1ue]

Not to be a thread nanny but NO ONE uses the word mulatto anymore in English, bi-racial is the preferred term.

 

Bi-racial isn't particularly specific though. Mulatto is specific, for all that it can have a broader sense. But whatever, if it's offensive, then it's offensive.

 

My sister is married to a white guy, and looking back, I think all of us have only dated white. My parents are okay with it, but I think they'd be extremely happy if at least one of us brought home a Filipino boy for a change.

 

Same for my bunch. My sisters and I have almost exclusively dated white guys. I managed one Filipino girlfriend and a half-Chinese boyfriend, and one sister has brought home a Chicano boyfriend. Everyone else we've dated...

 

It should probably be noted that my sisters and I don't look particularly Hispanic. My eldest sister passes in fact, and I've been flat accused of lying when I claimed to be Mexican American. So we don't tend to reach out to our own community too much; too many members of that community have made it clear we aren't welcome. As it happens, I'm pretty sure I can count every Latino guy I've ever found attractive without taking off both shoes.

Edited July 10, 2008 by B1ue

[scoopny]

Bi-racial isn't particularly specific though. Mulatto is specific, for all that it can have a broader sense. But whatever, if it's offensive, then it's offensive.

 

The word comes from the latin term mule, which is the result of the breeding of a donkey and a horse, so when you use that term, you're calling someone a mule. Slave owners were the ones who made up the phrase. People stopped using that word in 1930, if it was too offensive to use in 1930 and that was 35 years before the civil rights acts, then it's really outdated today.

Edited July 10, 2008 by scoopny

[Benji]

The word comes from the latin term mule, which is the result of the breeding of a donkey and a horse, so when you use that term, you're calling someone a mule. Slave owners were the ones who made up the phrase. People stopped using that word in 1930, if it was too offensive to use in 1930 and that was 35 years before the civil rights acts, then it's really outdated today.

 

 

I'm not even sure that I have ever heard that term, at least I don't recall, as it is, I definately didn't know the meaning.

Edited July 10, 2008 by Benji

[Rakuten06]

I prefer Whites but will do Hispanic a little.

 

Why should I look for when I have a White boyfriend already??

 

John

 

P.S. I don't know what that means but I'm sure to know that's one of many outdated offensive words in the world...

[JamesSavik]

They are all beautiful if you look closely enough.

[Jay]

I'm not even sure that I have ever heard that term, at least I don't recall, as it is, I definately didn't know the meaning.

 

 

I remember hearing that term growing up in the 50s. I even remember asking the meaning.

[Benji]

I remember hearing that term growing up in the 50s. I even remember asking the meaning.

 

 

.......Not to shove age around, I wasn't even 10 til the end of '63. Could the term have been 'shelved' by then?