Issue with a guy

[DLP]

Okay, I need help and Ive been really confused lately. At my high school there's a boy that seems somewhat straight or at least he acts it. His name is TP(dont want to reveal the name). It started a couple months ago in Ap English and Im writing an essay when I look up to see who's finished their's, until I saw him looking at me, like he had been watching me for a while and quickly continues finishing his essay. This alerted me.

I got curious so in weight training, another class we have together, I looked around the room and spotted him, now I looked for a bit until he looked in my direction, so I looked the other way. Every day from then on we've done this over and over again. We dont really know eachother well but I know that he's been looking at me. Some days we would stand next to eachother in silence and not say a thing. And TP talks to everyone he sees even if he doesnt know them, so why ignore me?

Im not sure whether he takes an interest in me, because im starting to like him, but what if he's just playing a game or he's just a little somewhat curious. Or is there something on my face that attracts him alot. Today after we ran two miles- we sat close away from the other students, catching our breath, and he takes off his shirt, TP has never done that that after we run our weekly two mile. I tried not to look as if I wasnt paying attention, but from my peripheral view, i saw him looking at me.

 

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???? I dont want to do something I would regret.

[Demetz]

Perhaps you should be asking him?

 

>__>

<__<

 

Okay, so maybe that's overly blunt and not being especially sensitive, but ultimately you're going to need to find out from him what's what. Strike up a conversation with him about something, make a joke about something assinine and talk with him for a bit, get to know him a little better. After a week or two if you're still interested in him, take him aside in private and just ask him straight forward if he's gay and if so would like to date you.

[AFriendlyFace]

I agree that you need to strike up a conversation with him and befriend him. From there you can better play it all by ear and work out what to do next.

 

One rather important question, do you like him? I mean are you interested and attracted? You only said you thought HE might be interested and attracted. Do you feel the same way?

 

Also, to what extent are you 'out' at school?

[DLP]

I agree that you need to strike up a conversation with him and befriend him. From there you can better play it all by ear and work out what to do next.

 

One rather important question, do you like him? I mean are you interested and attracted? You only said you thought HE might be interested and attracted. Do you feel the same way?

 

Also, to what extent are you 'out' at school?

Iam starting to like him just because he's funny, something tells me I like him and yes Id be attracted.

Im bi and i tell people when they ask but I dont go blurting out my sexuality. My friends know, but not the entire school. If you were to ever see or talk to me, youd think im straight.

[old bob]

Iam starting to like him just because he's funny, something tells me I like him and yes Id be attracted.

Im bi and i tell people when they ask but I dont go blurting out my sexuality.

Hi DLP,

let me organize my answer :

Okay, I need help and Ive been really confused lately

Why confused, are you afraid about his attitude and the possibilities it's open for you ?

or is it because you have to see more clearly in yourself ?

I like him and yes Id be attracted.

Why do you need an advise ? Demetz's and Kevin's answers are clear enough. At the next occasion, talk to him and ask him if he likes you. You can do it incidentally but you have to begin the conversation and bring him to a position he is obliged to ask . BTW, are you extravert (Extraverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious) or introvert (Introverts tend to be low-key, deliberate, and relatively less engaged in social situations) ? As an extravert, it will be easy for you to find the words to "catch" him. As an introvert, you have to begin with a question, any question, just to initiate the contact. And if he answers with another question, than you know what to say

Want to know more about theses notions ? Visit this site

Im not sure whether he takes an interest in me..... or he's just a little somewhat curious. Or is there something on my face that attracts him alot. Today after we ran two miles- we sat close away from the other students, catching our breath, and he takes off his shirt, TP has never done that that after we run our weekly two mile. I tried not to look as if I wasnt paying attention, but from my peripheral view, i saw him looking at me.

Two "facts" are here showing you the way :

who sat first away from the other students ?

who was first looking to the other ?you or him ?

Even if you are both "just playing a game", a game has first to begin as a game, before it could become something else

Go on and good luck. A french proverb says "qui ne tente rien n'a rien" (without try, no success).

Old bob

[Dalmatia]

Iam starting to like him just because he's funny, something tells me I like him and yes Id be attracted.

Im bi and i tell people when they ask but I dont go blurting out my sexuality. My friends know, but not the entire school. If you were to ever see or talk to me, youd think im straight.

 

Maybe he's found out that you're bi, and thats why he seems to be taking an interest in you, looking at you during class for example. He could be gay or bi, I know you said that he seems straight, but then you also said that you seem straight if someone was to talk to you. You wouldnt know that I was gay if you had never met me before, must of my friends still dont believe that I'm gay lol.

 

Anyway my point was that he might be trying to make a move now that he's found out your bi, that is if he's found out your bi, and he's gay or bi... Thats just my thoughts on it, and what do I know

[greenmann]

Perhaps you should be asking him?

 

>__>

<__<

 

Okay, so maybe that's overly blunt and not being especially sensitive, but ultimately you're going to need to find out from him what's what. Strike up a conversation with him about something, make a joke about something assinine and talk with him for a bit, get to know him a little better. After a week or two if you're still interested in him, take him aside in private and just ask him straight forward if he's gay and if so would like to date you.

 

Ok, as a total introvert, I could never be that blunt, lol... but the advise is still sound. Instead of asking HIM if he likes you, a safer way to go about it is, after talking to him a while to make sure the two of you really are interested in each other, at least as friends, tell him you are bi. If that goes over ok, then tell him you find HIM attractive. If he's not interested in you, you can blow it off as just being horny all the time and go for just friends. If he IS interested in you that way, even if he doesn't actually say anything, his body language will probably tell you if you pay attention.

 

From what you have said, it sounds to me like he probably is on some level attracted to you. Whether it is a friendly kind of thing, or something more, you'll have to work out on your own. But if he is willing to just sit with you quietly and take his shirt off? Hmm, would make me wonder too.

 

One further piece of advice, don't take too long to start up a conversation with him. If he really is interested, but doesn't sense anything back from you, he may just move on dissappointed. As Demetz says, joke around with him a while, see where it goes first. You've got time to get to the more personal stuff.

[GaryK]

Strike up a conversation with this guy, or get him to do that with you. Don't risk scaring him off by getting into the whole bi/gay stuff too soon. If things go well you'll at least have a new friend. If they go really well you can let him know you're bi and see how he reacts. If he is bi/gay he'll have the luxury of deciding if he wants to share that with you and then either way you can both decide what to do next. I absolutely would not do what someone here suggested and ask him if he's bi or gay. That could scare him off real fast if he's only interested in friendship. Whatever happens I hope things go well for both of you.

[AFriendlyFace]

Two "facts" are here showing you the way :

who sat first away from the other students ?

who was first looking to the other ?you or him ?

Even if you are both "just playing a game", a game has first to begin as a game, before it could become something else

Go on and good luck. A french proverb says "qui ne tente rien n'a rien" (without try, no success).

Wonderful points!

 

Maybe he's found out that you're bi, and thats why he seems to be taking an interest in you, looking at you during class for example. He could be gay or bi, I know you said that he seems straight, but then you also said that you seem straight if someone was to talk to you. You wouldnt know that I was gay if you had never met me before, must of my friends still dont believe that I'm gay lol.

 

Anyway my point was that he might be trying to make a move now that he's found out your bi, that is if he's found out your bi, and he's gay or bi... Thats just my thoughts on it, and what do I know

Also an excellent analysis!

 

Ok, as a total introvert, I could never be that blunt, lol... but the advise is still sound. Instead of asking HIM if he likes you, a safer way to go about it is, after talking to him a while to make sure the two of you really are interested in each other, at least as friends, tell him you are bi. If that goes over ok, then tell him you find HIM attractive. If he's not interested in you, you can blow it off as just being horny all the time and go for just friends. If he IS interested in you that way, even if he doesn't actually say anything, his body language will probably tell you if you pay attention.

Good points!

 

From what you have said, it sounds to me like he probably is on some level attracted to you. Whether it is a friendly kind of thing, or something more, you'll have to work out on your own. But if he is willing to just sit with you quietly and take his shirt off? Hmm, would make me wonder too.

LOL, saying it like that makes it sound so sweet and intimate!

 

One further piece of advice, don't take too long to start up a conversation with him. If he really is interested, but doesn't sense anything back from you, he may just move on dissappointed. As Demetz says, joke around with him a while, see where it goes first. You've got time to get to the more personal stuff.

Very true

 

Strike up a conversation with this guy, or get him to do that with you. Don't risk scaring him off by getting into the whole bi/gay stuff too soon. If things go well you'll at least have a new friend. If they go really well you can let him know you're bi and see how he reacts. If he is bi/gay he'll have the luxury of deciding if he wants to share that with you and then either way you can both decide what to do next. I absolutely would not do what someone here suggested and ask him if he's bi or gay. That could scare him off real fast if he's only interested in friendship. Whatever happens I hope things go well for both of you.

Actually, while it might seem as though I meant to be urging you on to rush into asking him the gay/bi thing as well, I have to that was NOT my intention and I very much agree with Gary on these points!

 

I'm seldom a fan of being THAT blunt about it, especially in a relatively new friendship. I definitely think you should take your time with it before getting to that point and you should be as unconfrontational as possible about it. Eventually when you feel the time is right you should tell him that you are bi, but I really don't think you should ask him if he is, and if you do certainly do that well after you've already told him you're bi. Otherwise you probably will scare him off...plus that's kinda rude and overly forward IMO anyway.

 

 

Good luck!

Kevin

[rknapp]

There is nothing much I can say beyond agreeing with the idea of talking to him. You don't have to start right off the bat with talking about liking each other, just "Hi," and ask him something random -- perhaps something about one of your classes. Then maybe once you become friends you can come out to him and work your way up from there. By friends of course I mean hanging out with him a couple of times outside of school... not just hanging out during class and showing off your sweaty bodies to each other, though that might be an indicator of some interesting aspects of his personality and such... hehe.

 

I also agree that asking him his orientation is a bad idea if and when you tell him about yours. Give that some time to sink in, though the amount of time is up to you and his reaction to your being bisexual.

[DLP]

There is nothing much I can say beyond agreeing with the idea of talking to him. You don't have to start right off the bat with talking about liking each other, just "Hi," and ask him something random -- perhaps something about one of your classes. Then maybe once you become friends you can come out to him and work your way up from there. By friends of course I mean hanging out with him a couple of times outside of school... not just hanging out during class and showing off your sweaty bodies to each other, though that might be an indicator of some interesting aspects of his personality and such... hehe.

 

I also agree that asking him his orientation is a bad idea if and when you tell him about yours. Give that some time to sink in, though the amount of time is up to you and his reaction to your being bisexual.

\

Yeah,

that's what ive been thinking, cuz I DONT want to scare him off, I found out that he's had a couple girlfriends in the past and I just want to get to know him better before I do anything else.

[AFriendlyFace]

\

Yeah,

that's what ive been thinking, cuz I DONT want to scare him off, I found out that he's had a couple girlfriends in the past and I just want to get to know him better before I do anything else.

Don't let that dissuade you; I think most/many gay/bi boys have had girlfriends in the past. Heck, even I sorta, kinda have.

[Bandage]

Don't let that dissuade you; I think most/many gay/bi boys have had girlfriends in the past. Heck, even I sorta, kinda have.

 

Yups, I've had my share as well... *blushes*

[rknapp]

Yups, I've had my share as well... *blushes*

I've had two.

[Bandage]

I've had two.

...4? *Blushes some more*

[Razor]

Dude, he WANTS you. You don't stare at something for that long unless you want to do something to it. The only conceivable thing he could want to do to you is play with you, hehehe.

 

Also, I must interject with something important. You said "I don't want to do something I would regret".

 

Seriously, now, think about this. Which would you regret doing more, something or nothing? Sometimes, risks are worth taking. Almost all of the time, the worst possible scenario is nowhere near as bad as we imagined it. Almost constantly, I find that when I take a risk, I'm happy if for no other reason that I did all that I could.

 

 

 

 

Okay, disclaimer on this part, don't listen to the shit that I say because I'm a tard sometimes...

GO FOR IT. Talk to him, if nothing else. Expect nothing, but leave hope for everything. GO BOY GO!

[GaryK]

Jamie. Sometimes I don't know whether to hug you or smack you. Either way I love your attitude most of the time.

 

I think you put the disclaimer on the wrong part of your advice because it's that last paragraph that makes the most sense to me. The rest, depending on how one interprets it, seems like a recipe for disaster.

[AFriendlyFace]

Seriously, now, think about this. Which would you regret doing more, something or nothing? Sometimes, risks are worth taking. Almost all of the time, the worst possible scenario is nowhere near as bad as we imagined it. Almost constantly, I find that when I take a risk, I'm happy if for no other reason that I did all that I could.

 

I think that's a very good point!

 

The only comment I'll make is that even though this is NOT what we were talking about and not what Jamie was referencing...if anything does 'happen'...uuhh, make sure it happens safely okay

[GaryK]

The only comment I'll make is that even though this is NOT what we were talking about and not what Jamie was referencing...if anything does 'happen'...uuhh, make sure it happens safely okay

[Razor]

I think that's a very good point!

 

The only comment I'll make is that even though this is NOT what we were talking about and not what Jamie was referencing...if anything does 'happen'...uuhh, make sure it happens safely okay

 

 

Why Mister Kevvers, I do declare... ~giggles~ I am impressed with your candor.

 

By the way, yes, all of that was said in the most Southern Belle voice I could possibly muster. Also, I'm pretty damned good with that voice, if I do say so myself.

[rknapp]

Why Mister Kevvers, I do declare... ~giggles~ I am impressed with your candor.

 

By the way, yes, all of that was said in the most Southern Belle voice I could possibly muster. Also, I'm pretty damned good with that voice, if I do say so myself.

 

If you can sound feminine and turn most single-syllable words into two-syllable words, then you're golden. I've been told I'm good at that as well haha. I can't help it if I love a proper Southern accent (Charlseton, Georgia, etc.)

 

 

Ok this thread is cursed... I was about done with my post and then my optical mouse went bat-shit insane and I think it's dead now... using a spare Logitech mouse until I can either fix the old one or get a new one. It had a good run -- about five years.

[GaryK]

Ok this thread is cursed... I was about done with my post and then my optical mouse went bat-shit insane and I think it's dead now... using a spare Logitech mouse until I can either fix the old one or get a new one. It had a good run -- about five years.

That's a decent amount of time for a mouse. Especially if you use it a lot. That's about what I got out of my previous optical mouse. I got a Kensington trackball this time. Love it!

[Tiger]

Why Mister Kevvers, I do declare... ~giggles~ I am impressed with your candor.

 

By the way, yes, all of that was said in the most Southern Belle voice I could possibly muster. Also, I'm pretty damned good with that voice, if I do say so myself.

I bet you sound cute when you talk like that. Anyway, I will echo Kev's sentiments about safety. Don't be a fool; wrap your tool.