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Posted

Will, I read your poetry and find it very interesting. It seems obvious that you have put a lot of yourself and your own feelings into the words. I particularly liked "A Perfect Moment".

 

Keep writing...keep dreaming.

Posted (edited)

Thanks for the encouraging words Mike. That means a lot to me. By the way "A Perfect Moment" is a poem I wrote today when I was sitting at an outdoor cafe patio watching the rain come down, while drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette. I was as content and satisfied as a person can be during that moment.

Edited by rainyday
Posted

Great poems, dude! :D

 

:great::2thumbs:

 

 

I enjoyed them very much!

 

 

My favourite was "Moments". I left reviews for each as I read them.

 

Thanks for sharing them! Can't wait to read more!

 

-Kevin

Posted

Thanks for all the reviews Kevin, I'm glad you enjoyed my poetry. I try to write a few each month sometimes more, sometimes less poetry is sort of my form of meditation.

Posted
Thanks for all the reviews Kevin, I'm glad you enjoyed my poetry. I try to write a few each month sometimes more, sometimes less poetry is sort of my form of meditation.

Well that's awesome!

 

I've been wanting to write poetry again myself...I haven't written any for several years now, and for some reason it intimidates me a bit. So I'm impressed that you're able to come up with so much great stuff :great:

Posted
I have added two more poems. Tomorrow is the first day of college for me.

Have a great first day, Will.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Hey Willie! I didn't know you have your poems up here! Silly me :) I'm gonna put a simple, technical, analytical skill to the test. Your poems are awesome :)

 

Poem 1: I Am here

 

No one knows, No one (break in line)

Dreams, ambitions, fears (5 syllables each line)

All become one (break from original 5 syllables and one here could suggest a merge into 1; thus the elimination of the 5th syllable)

 

Usage of the word "one" is predominant in the first 3 lines. Usage of word "knows" shows the people's ignorance to the unity of their "Dreams, ambitions and fears".

 

The journey never stops

Continuing on and on

 

Similiarly, the elimination of the last syllable could be seen in the omission of the last letter in one to give the word "on". "And" in "on and on" signifies a merge, like the unity of "Dreams, ambitions, fears" previously stated. "Journey" here represents the continuous unity of "Dreams, ambitions, fears" forming into "one". Negative or positive? Hmmm.... I wonder...

 

One wonders

Is this right, Is this real (real = contrast to dream)

What to do, What to feel ("do" in relation to "ambition"; "feel" in relation to "fear")

Who am I, Good or Bad, Right or Wrong

 

Questioning and challenging the readers on their take on the merging of "Dreams, ambitions, fears".

I can only be, Can only live

This moment, learning, living

I am here...

"Moment, learning, living" in contrast to "Dreams, ambition, fears" suggest a contrast between qualities of reality (needs) and dreams (wants). Usage of pronoun "I" twice in the last three lines indicate a resolution as compared to the "I" in line 9 which is part of a question. The poem gives a sense of "now", so therefore, "here" indicates 'reality' as opposed to "dream". I am here, therefore, demonstrates the narrator's resolution and confidence, in reference to the questions "one wonders" earlier, that one can only move to reality if he is living out of his "dreams, ambitions, fears" and focusing on what matters the most: now.

---

This poem, I believe, shows the narrator's inner conflict between his reality and his dream. The narrator's challenging people to face reality as it is. Because everything isn't black and white, he strives to find the need to prove his determination in clearing the mind of anything that could withhold him from overcoming reality. The first five lines suggest the entanglement people face when it comes to "dreams, ambitions, fears". One's ignorance could merge them together, sending it on a neverending journey (lines 4 -5). Lines 6 - 9 serve to question that thought and challenge people on what is "Good or bad, right or wrong". Since our "dreams, ambitions, fears" are usually the causes of pulling us away from reality. The last three lines emphatically states the narrator's resolution to stand by reality as opposed to living in a world of "Dreams, ambitions and fears"; thus, alluding to the title "I Am here".

 

LOL, I know, terrible analysis! *bleh* BUT you're GREAT!!! You're an awesome poet! Great Introduction :) I'll analyze more of your poems later :)

Posted

Thanks for the analysis Jovian. No ones every gone that in depth with my poetry, what you determined in your analysis however was mostly true, I was just writing about how people perceive reality and dreams, and also writing about how I view reality and how sometimes not everything is purely black and white and one must have dreams in order to be happy. That's the gist of it anyway I'm rarely able to explain my poetry in any detail. But I enjoyed reading your analysis. :) How long did it take you to come up with all of that?

Posted
Thanks for the analysis Jovian. No ones every gone that in depth with my poetry, what you determined in your analysis however was mostly true, I was just writing about how people perceive reality and dreams, and also writing about how I view reality and how sometimes not everything is purely black and white and one must have dreams in order to be happy. That's the gist of it anyway I'm rarely able to explain my poetry in any detail. But I enjoyed reading your analysis. :) How long did it take you to come up with all of that?

 

Hey Willie :)

 

Since I'm taking a degree in English, analysing fiction/poems etc is what I do haha. Plus, writing analyses of poetry, prose, drawings etc here at GA really helps with my academic writing skills a lot - since I'm going to face dreadful unseen poems in exams, I might as well prepare myself haha. Moreover, analysing poems/prose helps me with my own writing! :) In the mean time though, I'm trying my best to analyze poems within an hour or thirty minutes (expected examination time frame for analyzing each poem/prose) haha :P It's fun by the way (albeit its challenge). But that's the exciting part about it :)

 

Your poems are awesome!!! :worship: I'll prolly analyze another tonight for yah hehe :D

 

Hugs :hug:

Jovian

Posted

Poem 2: Very simple analysis :) Awesome poem! It seems to me that the first two poems of yours revolve around "transition" with the first being a transition from dream to reality and the second from futile determination to fruitful perseverance.

 

STATE OF CONTENT CONFUSION

(juxtaposition of contrasting words with initial rhyme of the prefix con-, which means altogether in Latin)

 

1) Wondering quietly in darkness

 

(Pondering in darkness... hmmm. This seems to portray a sense of reminiscing something malevolent in the past. In relation to the first poem, it represents a sense of betrayal.)

 

2) Speaking softly of understanding (-ing indicates feminine rhyme; although this is a free verse poem.)

3) Nothing stops, time continues

4) Ever moving, feeling, being

 

(Alluding to the first poem, this indicates the need to persevere as well. The first poem talks about moving on from dream to reality. Hinting to its title, the confusion here could be a reference to the first poem; hence, the first four lines seem to portray a transition from the stage of initial hesitation to determination.)

*Feminine rhyme is evident in the first four lines. The letters -es and -ing in the first four lines of the poem create a silent, hushed tone.

 

5) confusion compounds and sets free (compound is ambiguous: 1) make (something bad) worse 2) mix or combine)

6) Pain melts, happiness, content trumps

7) Difficulty is always present but never wins (sign of determination and confidence)

8) Time continues, time continues (The word continue is repeated three times in this poem)

 

9) Keep moving, Keep being...

---

 

Even though the narrator is wondering and speaking in darkness (aka in own world), time is still running. His ponderings and soliloquies do not stop time at all. The feminine rhymes –es and –ing (in lines 1-4) add a sense of serenity to the, otherwise, serious tone, alleviating a certain sense of solemnity. While this might be indicated as something intimidating, the following lines (lines 5-8) suggest that "confusion" about his own ponderings is actually something to be celebrated. "Difficulty is always present" in one's state of confusion, but the words "time continues", which is repeated three times, remain emphatic in the poem, and it seems to suggest a sense of perseverance. "Winning" from the "difficulty" that "is always present" in this case means allowing confusion to "compound" the problems one is facing and have it "set free", because no matter how confused one person is, "time continues". Subsequently, the narrator relishes in his confusion rather than to combat, solve and challenge that thought. A sense of futility is present yet the reality of time, without delving into one’s confusion, surmounts the former thought, as time plays an important role in perseverance. Ultimately, letting confusion overcome, rather than actively seeking for answers that only present “difficulty”, is hinted to the title State of content confusion.

 

Haha, I'm not sure if that analysis work, but it's 5 am and I really should be heading for bed :) I love your poems by the way :) Can't wait to read more :D

 

Cheers,

Jovian

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Well I added one more poem to my collection. This is the first poem I've written since getting out of the hospital, it reflects my changed outlook on life.

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