JCtoGO2 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Congrats on another ending to another great story. I really enjoy your writing. You are one of very few authors on this website(if not the only one) who can make me laugh and shed tears in the same chapter. I look forward with great anticipation to your next presentation. BRAVO.
paya Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 OK, finished CH 12. Barcelona is a hoppin' little town. I have to do it. I have to get a few zzzz's. I'll get my 4 hours and try and be back at it. I better get a little written of the next day or so too or some people will put a contract out on me. cheers r
Nephylim Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 You really kept us guessing didn't you... right to the end. Call me evil but I was somewhat disappointed that we don't get to see the transplant in all its gory details... but that's me I loved the story and I loved the ending. Lots of loose ends tied up nicely. 1
buddy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Great story. Your writing makes me feel like I personally know every character. I will miss everyone when the series is complete.
Mark Arbour Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 Well thanks all of you. I have to say that all the medical shit in this one was pretty tough to wallow through, so I hope you made it. I have a Doc on my team, and I'd tell him what I wanted to do, ask him if it was possible, and he'd tell me "yes" or "no", then how. I thought about posting his complete description in the last chapter, but opted for a layman's explanation.
Ivy Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Great story Mark! truly enjoyed all my missed sleep and skipped work! Can't wait for the next one. till then it's time for a re-read. I loved seeing Ricky's comments on the first few chapters. thanks for the happy ending, even if it's not the type you usually enjoy, lol.
Mark Arbour Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Great story Mark! truly enjoyed all my missed sleep and skipped work! Can't wait for the next one. till then it's time for a re-read. I loved seeing Ricky's comments on the first few chapters. thanks for the happy ending, even if it's not the type you usually enjoy, lol. You mean because there was no sex in the chapter?
Ivy Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Ok so yeah, I was talking about Wade's convo with Daddy Danfield and Matt's health. Matt and Wade definately had a hot happy ending, but that was in the middle of the chapter and I don't see that as an ending per se, even though they did reach the obvious conclusion to that smokin little interlude. In my little brain, the fest has just begun with all the yumminess present in Escorial at the final moment of the story. Are you sure you don't want to write just one more chapter?
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 You mean because there was no sex in the chapter? There's a chapter without sex?
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Chapter 13 Mat and Cody - Make Love This is the difference between a good writer and a great writer. For a while I thought you were going to beat Josh Maxwell out for his story Jeet for the absolute greatest nimber of sex scenes in any one document. And like Josh Maxwell, you have the unique ability to make each and every one of them totally unique and hot and refreshing. That alone, not making it a rubber stamp sex scene, is the work of a truly gifted wordsmith. But the last scene, where the two made love [Matt and Cody] through sex was completely different in the tone and tenor and even the emotions generated by the language. It felt different. It read different. You managed to make it as special for the reader as it was for the characters. And it was so subtle that unless you were looking for it you would not see it. You just felt a subtle smoothness of the fabric of the story. It moved from silk to velveteen without notice. Damn I hope some day I can write like that. Well done Mark. If you have not read Jeet By Josh Maxwell, then by all means do read it. It is a story set in the period of pederasty of Greece. It is an incredible work and like Marks stories Josh did a tremendous amount of research. It is a classic in every sense of the word. All of Josh's works are great but Jeet is exceptional.
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Chapter 17 - The goodbye dinner with the non-bio parents Again I notice how well crafted the story is. One simple line: . . . or that you'd all be such nice people. It makes it easier to leave Matt here, knowing there are people here who love him and will watch out for him." Spoke volumes of inarticulated dialog. An understanding had occurred between the parents and the lifestyle on some recognizable level. Something had obviously been filleted and laid open for frank examination and discussion when Matt was not there. I suspect we will hear a little bit about that later. But for now, his Shaker Heights parents set aside their prejudices for their love of their borrowed joy. Pitting Core beliefs against emotional attachments is a mix that can foster some tumultuous events. Well written. Gawd I love this stuff.
Mark Arbour Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Chapter 17 - The goodbye dinner with the non-bio parents Again I notice how well crafted the story is. One simple line: . . . or that you'd all be such nice people. It makes it easier to leave Matt here, knowing there are people here who love him and will watch out for him." Spoke volumes of inarticulated dialog. An understanding had occurred between the parents and the lifestyle on some recognizable level. Something had obviously been filleted and laid open for frank examination and discussion when Matt was not there. I suspect we will hear a little bit about that later. But for now, his Shaker Heights parents set aside their prejudices for their love of their borrowed joy. Pitting Core beliefs against emotional attachments is a mix that can foster some tumultuous events. Well written. Gawd I love this stuff. I'm so glad you like it. I think you'll find the Carrswolds will surprise you in a few chapters.
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 CH 20 -Matt's out to the team and Cody is just out Sometimes love is like a fat paycheck. It's only good until it's well spent. Delightful,
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 An after thought. Cole and Matt both did Amber unprotected and both blasted inside her. I wonder who it will look like?
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 CH 23 - Cute little twink washing his hands So he grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into a stall. Gawd I love your writing. OK, now I'm jealous. Your characters get to bone people like Wil Wheaton! Mine only get to bone no namers. Sheesh! Some people let money go waaaay to their heads. Well Mark just know that I will remember my roots and even when I'm filthy rich I'll still write like a poor person! Or whatever!
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Chapter 26 - Out of the Hospital from Cole's Stupidity I loved this line: his breath softly flowing against my skin in what had to be the most erotic use of wind ever. In context it just made your heart flutter even as the reader. Great wordsmithing.
Mark Arbour Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 I think my favorite comic scene from Bloodlines, as I visualized it, was in Chapter 29 when Stef was in the massive video arcade playing the "Star Wars" machine.
paya Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I think my favorite comic scene from Bloodlines, as I visualized it, was in Chapter 29 when Stef was in the massive video arcade playing the "Star Wars" machine. I love the dinners at Escorial. I'm not sure I can identify my favourite comic scene that easily but the dinners at Escorial with all its bantering around, that's just how a family should feel. 1
Mark Arbour Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 I love the dinners at Escorial. I'm not sure I can identify my favourite comic scene that easily but the dinners at Escorial with all its bantering around, that's just how a family should feel. And don't forget to add more Cody and Max to the next story! And Brad hitting on Jack... I think I need to re-read Be Rad And CAP and Bloodlines... I think those three somewhat crystallized in to my TOP three... Don't re-read CAP until the updated chapters are posted. I'll let you know when. 1
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Chapter 36 - The family outing Ouch quit it. I knew Thanksgiving was going to do it but I really figured it would be a three stooges comedy of one sneaking into anothers that did the trick. At least that's how I would have played it. You know, one of those were every time you open and close the same door there are two different people doing it. I probably would have even had Raphael and the pool cleaner guy. But to have Brian show up out of the blue and be there with the sole purpose of destroying Matt, well that was certainly out of the blue. Well on to more of it. We still have a senatorial outing to attend to as well as dishing up a little kidney pie.:2hands:
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Chapter 40 Senator Danfield Well I put this one together ahead of time. But Mark, did you have to make it the Republican Senator from Virginia? Couldn't you have made it that democratic goat Fornicator from Massachusetts? Damn! I guess he's safe enough to go hunting with though.:ranger: As long as you don't let him drive! Sheesh!
ricky Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 CH 44- St Valentines Day political massacre. Nicely done. A continuity issue - Beau didn't see them [Matt and Wade] together on the tape. Matt and cued the tape to after that part to make the copies in the hotel room. Only the original showed that bit and that isn't the tape Beau watched. Well I am glad to see the perp get a bit of it back. Still wish it was that goat fornicator . . . ok so on to the kidney pie. Or is there more from "Hop on Pop"?
ricky Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 CH 49 - Home again Touch and go. Sorry, he is a better man than me. I would have told the rents to shove it with a last breath. It's been a Marathon and I have 4 more chapters to go. Not sure if that is the end or if there is more but that much to be current. More I think after a nap. Oh Mark! I'm putting my email on auto forward to you since it is your fault I am behind in my scribbling. Great stuff. Cheers, r
Mark Arbour Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 CH 44- St Valentines Day political massacre. Nicely done. A continuity issue - Beau didn't see them [Matt and Wade] together on the tape. Matt and cued the tape to after that part to make the copies in the hotel room. Only the original showed that bit and that isn't the tape Beau watched. Well I am glad to see the perp get a bit of it back. Still wish it was that goat fornicator . . . ok so on to the kidney pie. Or is there more from "Hop on Pop"? Ah, but when they left the Danforth compound, Matt handed Beau the tape.
ricky Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Ah, but when they left the Danforth compound, Matt handed Beau the tape. Ah! More plausible. So then that should be the citation then. Beau saw then together when they left the compound not when Matt showed him the tape of them making out.
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