Heaven and Hell explained scientifically

[old bob]

The following is an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

 

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why I now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

 

This gives two possibilities:

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

 

So which is it?

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept

with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has

frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

>> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

 

BTW,I wasnt sure to put this topic in the "humor section" or in the soapbox ?

I have been told that this is a real story, not just a joke. Anybody else heard about it ?

[Amelia]

Never heard it, but its great!

[Hamen Cheese]

Haven't heard it before but it is quite nice (I did notice though that for Boyle's law to apply, mass has to be constant which doesn't seem to be the case above. Oh well, it's amusing anyway. )

 

It reminds me of that story about the Philosophy exam where the teacher asked "What is Courage?"

 

A student stood up a shortly after the exam was distributed and submitted his paper then left the room.

 

When the teacher checked the exam, it said: "This is."

[Rilbur]

That was hilarious!

[Agaith]

That's excellent! I love it.

[TalonRider]

This question has been around for awhile. I first read it in August of 2009 and laughed at it then too.

[BlueSoxSWJ]

Snopes verdict: fake.

 

The piece quoted above appears to have begun its Internet life as a humor post to the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997. Its roots, however, are far older: The original was written by Paul Darwin Foote, a scientist noted for his pioneering work in the field of high temperature measurement, and dates to about 1920, when it appeared in the house organ of the Taylor Instrument Company. In that article, "The Temperature of Heaven and Hell," Foote drew scientific deductions from descriptions of the states of various material substances as described in the Bible to conclude that Heaven was hotter than Hell. The item was penned as a humor piece and was written at a time in Foote's career when he was well established, thus any notion that it was the work of a cheeky student out to impress his professor should be dismissed.

 

The item subsequently appeared as an unattributed parody in a 1972 edition of Applied Optics and as a story published in a 1962 book (reprinted from a 1960 magazine). An article published in a 1979 edition of the Journal of Irreproducible Results written by Dr. Tim Healey (penned as a response to the Applied Optics piece) carried the joke one step further by offering a refutation proving that Hell was indeed hotter than Heaven.

[Bumblebee]

lol, the last bit was good

 

 

[Tiger]

Even if it is fake, it's freaking hilarious.

[Eddy]

DAMN!!! My nervous twitching finger hit NEGATIVE instead of POSITIVE!!!!! :wacko:

 

Can somebody in Admin correct this????? It was much to good for a negative vote