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Friends and crushes

Marzipan

By Marzipan
in The Lounge

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Marzipan Journeyman Scribe

Marzipan

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This is the deal with me.

 

Ever since I first time fell for a gal, I have had some difficult time to separate my feelings of infactuation from friendly ones and love ones. :wub: :wub: :wub:

 

After my frist love I have found few new, close girlfriends and I have seriously run into this pattern. First I'm thinking "what a cool person, I wanna get to know her". Then "ooo... she's so lovely". Then "gah, I want more than friendship with her" and finally I fall for someone else and what's left is just a friendship. I'm telling myself that these romantic feelings will pass. What if they don't? I'm not willing to let go any good friendship just 'cause I'm twisted in the emotional side. :blink: Needless to say, I haven't told any of my friend-crushes how deep my affections go. lol.

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Menorain Initiate Scribe

Menorain

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Oh man! What an utter disaster. Feel not alone for you are not. I am the exact same haha I used to have a major crush on my best friend. It wasn't even sexual. I just wanted her to get with me haha I don't really have a crush on anyone at the minute though.

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reychop Initiate Scribe

reychop

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That's quite a situation you have there. Although I don't really want to delve deep in emotions because as humans, it is one of our greatest weakness (a noteworthy mention would be sex, of course. Except for a few immune ones. :lol:), it is interesting to see how we revolve and confuse ourselves with infatuation, love and crush (the sweet pure adoration). But this kind of situation made me remember about the old "Strong friendship is always reliable than a frail romantic one". But time is a great healer. So your silence might have some rewards. Should the one true "love" come, let her know. Who knows? She might share the same feelings. If not, then move along. If she's a real friend, she'd be open-minded about it. Sure it might be awkward but as cliche as it sounds "Honesty is the best Policy":lol:.

 

For now, keep dancing with time, enjoy life and keep the patience up. There's nothing more romantic than bumping your destined one in the park. Searching might be exciting, but spontaneous fate-directed encounters will draw that red string that binds us to our other half, and bring about that explosive romance and unending paradise. ^^

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Y_B Apprentice Scribe

Y_B

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Yea I know how that feels. Careful how to tread the waters though, one of the things I learned is that unless you know the other person is interested, you don't really wanna go forward on those feelings, or at least show them, but sometimes that's not a bad thing, but it's hard to know when's a good time...depends on if you're risky or risk averse when handling situations like that.

 

In reverse, a friend of mine told me how she really felt about me recently and while it was flattering at first, it's making me uncomfortable now. I let her know I was flattered but wasn't interested and while she seemed ok with just being friends at first, she's been having a hard time keeping friendship and romantic feelings separate. I can't say she's wrong or at fault for it, but I don't know what to do to let her know sorry I'm not interested. From the perspective of the friend (me), she pretty much has 2 options. Find out how to move on and just be friends or slowly lose me because she's pushing me away.

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AleMaho Journeyman Scribe

AleMaho

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I'm one hundred percent sure I have a crush on my bff.

That doesn't mean I will go and sleep with her and spend the rest of my life with her.

 

It's normal to have crushes on your friends. You know it happens when you get jealous when they are talking with someone else!! -.-

Nevertheless, they can get you confused and upset.

But sometimes, it is just mere confusion.

I think you ought to recognize what you truly want.

 

Because, if there is a pattern following then it is probably not something serious.

Remember, love doesn't come with instructions. There's no pattern to it.

It just happens! =)

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Marzipan Journeyman Scribe

Marzipan

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Considering I've ended up dating every single one of my best friends at one point or another...yeah, I've been there.

 

 

Well, you are waaaayyyy beyond me! Never dated a friend-crush. And those crushes has always lated like 1-2 years... Sigh

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daniellehern04 Novice Scribe

daniellehern04

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It is a slippery slope when it comes down to friends and then that friendship becoming more than a friendship. If it doesn't work out you might lose both. That needs to be weighed with each situation. I don't want to lose a friend if things don't work out as other than friends. Maybe because I don't have that many friends.

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Marzipan Journeyman Scribe

Marzipan

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Everybody has. That's how we learn that you don't screw the people that you like.

 

You just hope that you end up liking the person that you are screw.

 

 

Soo romantic :(

 

I'd still rather take my chances on love than settle. I used to settle and wait for a miracle, not gonna do that anymore! I'd rather be alone than relying on faith that I'll grow to have feelings for someone...

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Marzipan Journeyman Scribe

Marzipan

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You know that guy that tells you what you want to hear?

 

I ain't him.

 

 

I'm more of a cynic than romantic optimist. I think I wander between those opposites (Romantic cynic?). BUT I want love and hopefully one day that'll come my bath.

 

I'd rather be without a partner, than settle again in a relationship without love. I've been there and left that behind. And I think I'm capable of telling if someone just sweet talks me. I've been around the block for that long and seen all kinds of storytellers. See now, I have become a cynic... Tryong to learn to trust in people is hard, but I'm taking baby steps towards it.

 

Still, love is such a powerfull forse not to hope to happen in my path too.

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  • 1 month later...
Y_B Apprentice Scribe

Y_B

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+1

 

(This is useful input)

 

I'd rather know the truth than hear beautiful words strung in a line

 

Pleazz...you take that as the truth and you'll end up just like the guy who said it

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Marzipan Journeyman Scribe

Marzipan

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I did crush on a friend, dated her...then she cheated on me...so yeah I learnt the hard way about friends and dating :P

 

 

O-ou... Are you still friends? What a shitty thing to do to you.

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Freddyness Apprentice Scribe

Freddyness

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Pleazz...you take that as the truth and you'll end up just like the guy who said it

 

as if im not that dense! However i do think that people should teLL the truth when involveing someone else's feelings as i Hate manipulative dicks (weather male or female) Honestly white lies are okay as they were not covering in some shit that you they did! even if The truth Hurts it Has to be said at some point why not sooner rather than Later when your in so much. shit that even an industrial JCB Digger can't get you out of it! i would Know i've been there doneit got the T-shirt. Lieing to make the other party Feel better doesn't work all that happens is is on yourself get hurt!

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Y_B Apprentice Scribe

Y_B

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as if im not that dense! However i do think that people should teLL the truth when involveing someone else's feelings as i Hate manipulative dicks (weather male or female) Honestly white lies are okay as they were not covering in some shit that you they did! even if The truth Hurts it Has to be said at some point why not sooner rather than Later when your in so much. shit that even an industrial JCB Digger can't get you out of it! i would Know i've been there doneit got the T-shirt. Lieing to make the other party Feel better doesn't work all that happens is is on yourself get hurt!

 

Sure, no arguments there.

 

My comment was made in reference to something said earlier in the line of convo

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