Maybe Someday Oneday Stories...

[AnytaSunday]

I thought I'd copy and paste my sneak-peak stories into this forum, seeing as how I got all this cool space to use!

 

First, an update:

 

Haven't wriiten much over the last three-or-so weeks--the move took it's toll on writing time. I'm pleased to say, though, that Pittsburgh has been real welcoming and sweet as so far.

 

Anyway, I'm just getting back into some writing on a joint project, which I'm having some general ups and downs with, but which generally is fun.

 

I've been in a bit of a mystery mood lately, accounting for the first sneak peak.

 

For those curious about the status quo with Pitfalls of the Bootpit--It's on hold, but once a couple of other projects are through, I intend to start-middle-and-finish it.

 

Okay, here's a partial of the MYSTERY (No name yet) -- also, it's a rough draft. That first line is terribly clunky.

 

 

When my teaching grant required some rural location be my home for the next year, they sure had meant it. The rural part, anyway. Not the home, I'd decided ten seconds into the three-block town.

 

I parked the Jeep, with my one suitcase and drum set, in the diary/pub/petrol station and filled up, hoping the heavy heat wouldn't somehow make the petrol pump implode. Not that it'd ever be cool to become barbequed mince-meat, but anyplace else would be preferable.

 

I scanned the street in front of me and confirmed the thought. A line of brown and white houses and a school hall sat like rotting teeth to the red desert mouth behind them. It looked like the entrance to hell, and I wasn't exactly a saint.

 

With precision, I removed the pump, shaking first so it wouldn't drip onto the practically smoking road and shoved it back in its spot. I made quick work of paying and jumped back into the Jeep, roaring away from a potential char-grilled Cameron Wells on a one-way route to the dude with a pitchfork.

 

I wound down a fourth window. Even with all of them open it felt like being microwaved in an air-tight container. I glanced down at my t-shirt. Nice rings of sweat stained the neck and armpits. Great. The rest of my clothes were dirty in the trunk. Never should have procrastinated in Taupo three days.

 

Halfway down the road I had to slow down. One of these houses would be my accommodation for the year. I reached over the console, to the gearbox and rummaged through the empty McDonald's and KFC wrappers for the back of the receipt I wrote the address on. I quickly gave up. Looked at the row of doors in front of me. Shrugged. It worked for my niece and nephew—Eeny, meeny, miny, mo…

 

I knocked on the door furthest to the left. No answer, but I swear a shadow slunk past the window to my right. I knocked again, adding a cheery "Hey, anyone home?". Come on, answer me dude. I'm not as scary as I look. Seriously, I wasn't. Though the tatts down my right arm might not seem so convincing of that. The skull with a bloody rose clamped between its teeth in particular. What can I say, I'd been an impressionable teen. I twisted my arm a little inward, in case whoever it was inside was peeking out at me. Then maybe they'd read the 'Love you, mummy' line and feel less intimidated. God it was a good thing I stopped drinking.

 

There came a loud bang from around the back of the house. I rounded the peeling state-house and rat-a-tap-tapped on the partially opened door. Call me persistent, but it bugged me that someone was in there and they weren't answering their door. I wasn't here to tell them the rapture was about to take place and they'd better change their ways. I just wanted directions, for Christ's sake.

 

The deadbolt jutted out from the door, which explained why it wasn't shut. I pulled it open. The hall was dark compared to the bright light outside, and my eyes took a moment to adjust. "Hello?"

 

Again, no answer. No movement, either. Maybe I'd imagined the shadow? But who left their back door like this? A second later I laughed. Probably no point locking anything in this small town. Everyone was bound to know everyone. And who the heck passed through here looking for goods? It was the goddamn middle of nowhere.

 

A middle of nowhere that was now my middle of nowhere. I suppressed a groan, opting for clenched teeth and a stubborn 'just suck it up, and live with it' intake of air. I froze. There was a funky smell going on here. And not the good kind of funky. It was a funky that made invisible fingers tap down my spine.

 

I entered the house. If anyone did suddenly appear, I'd just tell them I was the new tenant. When they got confused, I'd claim to have gotten the address mixed up and ask for where the Bedford boarding school secretary lived. Pimp squeaks. And, in fact it would be a good thing if someone came out. It'd mean they had that funk under control.

 

But if they didn't… I hurried around the hall corner and stopped at the entrance of the lounge. My stomach flipped like it was cooking popcorn in there. A woman, bullet to her head, brains splattered in all directions sat in the middle of a burning couch.

 

There was no point trying to save the woman, it was clear she was dead. I whipped out my phone and dialed the emergency number. No f**king battery. You had to be kidding me. Next to the coffee table, three feet away, I caught sight of another cell slipped between two magazines in the stand. Not thinking too much about the odd place to stash a phone, I nicked it and darted outside, climbing a small embankment in his back yard until it read there was a connection.

 

Five minutes later, sirens sliced through the thick, hot air. First came the fire-engine, followed by one and then two police cars. Probably the entire police squad of this town, I imagined.

 

Half-an-hour later, after telling a cop about how I found the woman, a second cop sauntered past me, his willowy figure, puffy youthful cheeks, wide blue eyes and razor-short red hair had my memories spinning back to intermediate school. "Jimmy Johnson." I shook my head, baffled. I hadn't expected to meet anyone I knew here in a million years. He turned at his name. "What a surprise."

 

It took him a moment to place me as the kid who skated with him at the rink down the road from both our houses. Just before the tattoo craze. Jimmy quirked a smile. "Cameron Wells. So, you're the new guy in town."

 

"Hmmm." Not by choice. "How'd you hear?"

 

He leaned in and lowered his voice. "Something you'll learn quick around here: this town likes to talk. The only reason you weren't accosted once you left the petrol station. Was because Mary-Lou, aka, towns biggest gossip—well," he jerked a thumb in the direction of the house. "that's why."

 

I swallowed, noting Jimmy didn't seem too upset about it. Weren't these things meant to shock a town to its very core? "Sorry for the loss to this community. I hope you find whoever did this quickly."

 

Jimmy nodded. Then sighed. "Not obvious who did it so far, we've got a few things to send away to the lab for tests. If half the town didn't hate her and have good reason to pop her one, it might be easier to know where to start with all this."

 

He scratched his head, and I looked behind him toward the team cordoning off the yard with bright yellow tape. "Anyway, we should catch up sometime. Maybe at the weekend. Looks like I'm going to be working some long hours the next few days. You're here a while, aren't you?"

 

I wished not. I bit my tongue. "A while, yeah. And the weekend sounds good."

 

He rested a hand on my shoulder before leaving. "Trust me, you're going to love it here. This place has a way of worming into your heart.

 

The air had cooled considerably by the time I located my accommodation. The wooden door to 27 Sunny Grove swung inward and a large woman with tightly packed ringlets, closely resembling Miss Piggy in a jumpsuit, rang out a 'yo' and hauled me inside.

 

"You gotta be Bratford's new music teacher. Heard you were a hunk." She eyed me like I was ripe for the pickings. "Can never be sure Tania doesn't exaggerate, but no siree—she had it right this time."

 

While lacking certain parts for me to be even vaguely interested, I couldn't help but warm to her confidence. I laughed. Though, I think she was being far too kind. Sweaty with hair either frizzy or matted to my head, I reckoned I looked and smelled like Oscar the Grouch. Nothing hunk material about this get-up at all.

 

I extended a hand. "And you must be Vicky Tan." Secretary to Bedford boarding school. Though, perhaps I'd be calling it Bratford too, before long.

 

She frowned at the hand and slapped it away, fisting my shoulder instead. "That's me."

 

She planted a set of keys in my hand and herded me around the back of her house to a caravan out the back. "Home sweet home. Just drag your shit back here it's all yours for the year. Rubbish bins are behind the shed over the yard."

 

I followed her finger to the outhouse in front of a large fence with a small metal gate leading to a paddock. "What's out that way?"

 

"That leads to the back of Forster's place. I got sick of trekking around the block to drop off his groceries. So I made the path."

 

I nodded, wondering how old this Forster had to be, not to make it down half a street to the diary.

 

"You got any other questions?" she asked.

 

"Yeah," I said, thinking of the drums in the jeep. "Is it a problem if I bang loud?"

 

That earned me a wicked grin, and a batting of fake eyelashes. "Oh, you can bang as loud and as often as you want," she purred. "You can bet my sweet tushie, I don't mind."

 

Her phone buzzed and she whipped it out. "What's up, bitch?" She signaled a 'later' sign and walked off. "Oh yeah? That is so the shit. Count me in," she glanced back at me over her shoulder, "plus one…oh yeah, he's a hunk. And wait till you see his tatts…"

 

I looked at the tattoed chain ringing my forearm. I needed to get rid of these tatts. Soon as I made enough dosh, that's what I'd do. No more excuses. It didn't matter if removal hurt like a hundred razors slashing at your privates. It had to be done. Someday. Maybe.

 

I squeezed my six foot frame through the door into the living room and kitchen. I made the two minute tour of the place—bathroom with shower to the left as you walked in, and a bedroom just fitting a double bed and a set of rudimentary shelving.

 

I moved my stuff in, setting the drums up in the kitchen. I wasn't much of a cook, so it seemed an efficient use of space. I could still access the microwave and dishwasher. So it was all sweet as.

 

I plonked myself onto the couch that looked like it'd survived numerous years of abuse, and flicked on the TV. The screen fuzzed after the first four channels. Damn, no Sky. I made a mental note to check if Sky serviced this far out in the wop wops, and switched off the drone, drowning the place in silence.

 

Sitting there in the middle of the couch, the image of Mary-Lou dead-as-a-doorknob snuck into the forefront of my mind. I didn't like to admit it, but seeing a body with brains blown out scared the shit out of me.

 

I got up and chained the door. What a big pussy I was. Didn't matter I looked like I shouldn't be messed with, because inside I was a little boy, ready to jump under the bed at the first sniff of a monster.

 

To get my mind off the body, I picked up my well used Oak drumsticks and rolled out music till my ears hurt and I'd soaked ninety percent of my t-shirt in sweat. Then I stripped and played some more. I could feel the vibrations through the sticks—the energy absorption was poor. It was time to upgrade. With a hundred bucks in my account, and pay day looming just two weeks away, I could afford to buy some blankets and food for the caravan. Or get some new sticks made from maple. Real hard choice.

 

After hitting 'purchase' at Dickies Drums online, a knock came at my door followed by the jiggling of my door handle. Then a bellowed, "What the f**k? Hey, Cam, man, you in there?"

 

Vicky stood, hands on hips, shaking her piglet curls. "You don't need to fuss about locking, mate. No one gonna steal anything in this town. Safe as seatbelts here."

 

I thought of Mary-Lou. Maybe not-so-safe. I shrugged. "Habit."

 

"Okay, well, whatever turns you on. Now, come along we're going to Mon's."

 

I raised a brow. "Who?" Why?

 

"Practically the whole town will be there." She inclined her head as if to evaluate what she'd just said. "The people worth meeting, anyway."

 

She shook her head when I opened my mouth and beat me to speaking. "Besides, people are hell curious. They're not gonna stop harassing you, or me for that matter, until you've showed your pretty little face, and Mon has ranked you in her 'Town's Most Eligible and Edible' list. Think you've got good chances for hitting the top three as well."

 

She started off, clearly expecting me to follow after. "Wait a sec, I need a t-shirt," I said and dashed inside.

 

"Damn, I was hoping you'd forget about that."

[Sara Alva]

Hehe thanks for linking the "sweet as" bit-- learn somethin' new everyday.

 

Already said my bit in the other forum . . . looking forward to reading this!

[Marzipan]

I'm so happy to hear you have settled in well!

 

Anything you're gonna write and post I'm gonna be reading I hope you'll get back to the writing pace you feel suits you!

 

This sneak peek sounds interesting, and different from your previous works. So... get on with it already

[jian_sierra]

So that's what 'sweet as' means. Awesome! or better yet, Sweet as!

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Hehe thanks for linking the "sweet as" bit-- learn somethin' new everyday.

 

 

What Sara said - Now all I need is scroggin to go with that

[AnytaSunday]

Hehehe, Scroggin, yeah, it's a staple if you go tramping (hiking) in NZ!

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Hehehe, Scroggin, yeah, it's a staple if you go tramping (hiking) in NZ!

 

 

See you thought I learned nothing from you, except grammar lessons.

[AnytaSunday]

See you thought I learned nothing from you, except grammar lessons.

Aren't you a bit of a dag?

 

 

Hehe thanks for linking the "sweet as" bit-- learn somethin' new everyday.

Well, just blow me down¹, I did NOT know I was so helpful.

 

 

Goodness gracious, I could go on, LOL.

 

 

1) Blow me down -- expression of surprise! Oh!

[AnytaSunday]

More NZ slang just for you.

 

Btw, Americans don't understand me so much when I say 'bed' or 'egg' or words with a prominent 'e' sound, lol. It reminds me of this--

 

(I LOVE Flight of the Conchords! They are awesome. Go NZ).

 

Check it out!

Edited August 5, 2011 by AnytaSunday

[AnytaSunday]

Okay, here is a family joking around about the

. Sorta silly, kinda cute. Sweet as makes an appearance!!!!

 

ALSO MY NAME IS IN THERE!!!

 

Andy, you have to watch it!

[Andrew Q Gordon]

More NZ slang just for you.

 

Btw, Americans don't understand me so much when I say 'bed' or 'egg' or words with a prominent 'e' sound, lol. It reminds me of this--

 

(I LOVE Flight of the Conchords! They are awesome. Go NZ).

 

Check it out!

 

I don't which should be first. Funny but what the heck was that???

 

oh yeah, the little green '1' was your 1000th

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Okay, here is a family joking around about the

. Sorta silly, kinda cute. Sweet as makes an appearance!!!!

 

ALSO MY NAME IS IN THERE!!!

 

Andy, you have to watch it!

 

Well that was just sweet as - but being the piker that I am, I think I stuff this in my boot with my teddy beer drinking beer.