Interview: Ron (Ronyx)

[Kai Taylor]

I'm sure many people here on GA know of Ron (Ronyx), owner and creator of themustardjar.com. I've been following his stories for many years and thought I'd catch up with him and do an interview.

 

We touched on many different topics, from his stories, writing, and his thoughts on the genre.

 

The interview itself is quite lengthy, so I've created a separate blog on GA to display it.

 

You can check it out here: Ron Interview

 

 

Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy reading it!

 

Kai

 

 

Excerpt:

 

Kai: One thing that you’ve made clear on your About Me page and during our emails is what writing means to you and why continue to do it. You’ve said that you try to help young, vulnerable people realise that they have a place in the world. Looking back over all your stories, do you feel that you’ve accomplished that goal?

Ron: One word in this question popped out at me, and that was the word vulnerable. I write for young, gay readers. Even though many of my characters appear vulnerable, they all discover an inner strength that helps them overcome difficult obstacles. I believe that each of us possess that inner strength. Sometimes it is buried so deep, it is hard to discover. So that is what I try to accomplish through my stories. I want young readers to understand that no matter what life challenge he or she may face, a better tomorrow is attainable. A central theme to all my stories is that no matter how dark the storm, a rainbow always appears at the end. When I first started writing, I felt that if I made a difference in just one young person’s life, then I would have accomplished my goal. I have received numerous emails from young readers who said they have found inspiration and hope through my stories. And it is not just young readers. I have heard from hundreds of men and women who have been inspired by my stories. So yes, I've accomplished my goal and so much more. Writing has enriched my life more than I ever imagined.

Kai: It’s great to learn that you’ve heard back from your audience, letting you know how your work has touched them. Reader feedback is another topic that’s important to you, as you note that it’s the only form of payment you receive from writing. Have you received any notable feedback that stood out to you?

Ron: I don’t think readers realize just how important it is for an online writer to receive feedback from them. A published author can gauge their success by how many books they sell and the literary reviews of their work. The only way an online author knows if their work is being read and enjoyed is if they hear directly from his or her readers. It is extremely frustrating to spend so much time writing something that we hope readers will enjoy, and then receive nothing in return. I've communicated with several exceptional writers who suddenly stopped writing one day because they felt their work was not being appreciated. I have written rants in the past at TMJ because I was pouring hours into a story, and then have only a few respond. I cannot understand why someone would enjoy a story and not feel compelled to share that experience with the writer. I am more fortunate than most writers because I maintain my own site, and I know that hundreds are returning week after week. That tells me that they are enjoying the story. However, many writers who are hosted by other sites do not have that opportunity. I have had readers chastise me and say that I write because I have this inner need for acceptance, and that I shouldn't expect anything in return. That is utter bullshit. I write because I enjoy writing for others, and particularly gay teens. If I didn't feel I was positively affecting the lives of others, then I would shut down TMJ tomorrow. I’m on a rant again, but I want readers to understand that writers want and expect feedback from readers to reinforce that what they are doing is appreciated. Just a simple, “Thanks” from time to time goes a long way.

As for notable feedback, I’ve heard from many young readers who have told me they came out to their friends and families because reading my stories gave them the confidence to do so. The story, A Delicate Situation, solicited so many positive comments from readers who were deeply touched by Dorian's speech. I’ve also heard from two school counselors who said they have recommended my stories for their gay students to read. That is awesome!

 

Continue reading the interview here

Edited July 22, 2013 by Kai Taylor

[crazyfish]

the issue of reader feedback is a dicey one.  As an author myself, I like to hear from readers.  The feeling  of interacting with readers is really special.

 

However, I'm very cautious not to let reader excitement be the fuel that drives my writing.  I have done my time critiquing and getting critiqued on www.scribophile.com, and I've learned the hard way, not to depend on feedback for emotional satisfaction.  For every person that gushes, there are a few more who think your writing is shitty.  And because your heart is so much on the reader engagement, it's very easy to let those shitty reviews blind your motivation.

 

Also this is a site geared to readers, not writers. And one has to confront the fact that a lot of what we write, the average reader doesn't find  interesting/riveting/engaging to read. Readers might not be able to articulate why your story doesn't move them enough to respond.  Since they don't want to offend you, they'll rather say nothing than say something negative or critical.  And so I'm inclined to think that if your work is good enough, as in emotional/engaging/hitting the right audience, people will comment.  If all the author receives is silence, then the author shouldn't be so saddened by the lack of feedback, as much as they should go back to the drawing board and hone their storytelling skills.   Of course, the lack of visibility, not sub-par writing, might be the main culprit to the lack of feedback ... well that's for the author to decide.

 

I suppose there's a catch-22, if readers say nothing, how will the author improve? Personally I think if the author is serious about well-crafted stories,  they should ignore for awhile the lack of feedback from a general reader site, and do their time in critique groups. I guarantee you, when you're active in an online peer-critiquing group, you'll get a ton of feedback. Perhaps not the feedback you want.

 

Yeah writing is a lonely hobby.  I wouldn't do it for reader love.

[Sasha Distan]

I'm not sure any decent writer does it for reader-love, it's too self serving. i do it because my brain would explode if i didn't, feedback is lovely and wonderful and helps but when i wrote on other sites (such as StoriesOnline which is mostly het and so decent gay stuff doesn't get much of a look in) i survived for years with little to no feedback. i love having feedback, it makes me a better writer, but it can't be the reason to write.

 

after all, no one would you to a gig of someone who only became a musician to get fans. there'd be no substance

[crazyfish]

but I get the frustration though of not getting feedback.  It's like sending words into the void, a very punishing feeling.

[Former Member]

To me, reader feedback is very important.  It is not the reason that I write by any means, but it certainly helps me to write more.  What can I say?  I'm a lazy sh*t.  If I don't want to write it anymore, I don't.  So when someone gives me any kind of feedback, it's like, "Okay.  Now that someone has paid attention, I really should work on finishing this."  Kind of like an honor thing.

[Kitt]

Not being a writer I cant speak to the idea of negative comments hampering the creative flow, or if the positive ones feed the writing frenzy, but having had a little voice in my head insist on doing a couple of writing prompts I can say that the first one I did i was very disappointed when I got no comments at all. I had no way to guess if it was that people didn't like it and were just being polite by not commenting or if no one bothered to read it. I think even an "it's horrible" would have been better than the silence.

[Sasha Distan]

but I get the frustration though of not getting feedback.  It's like sending words into the void, a very punishing feeling.

 

 

. I think even an "it's horrible" would have been better than the silence.

 

While i agree that sending words into nothing is awful, i much prefer that to anger and residual hatred that courses through my house when people leave awful anon feedback. you want to rant and rave and often bash their skulls in, and you can't - not without looking like a lunatic. one of (many, many) reasons why i love GA is the lack of anon feedback. you don't get anyone having a random unstructured bitching session.

[Kitt]

While i agree that sending words into nothing is awful, i much prefer that to anger and residual hatred that courses through my house when people leave awful anon feedback. you want to rant and rave and often bash their skulls in, and you can't - not without looking like a lunatic. one of (many, many) reasons why i love GA is the lack of anon feedback. you don't get anyone having a random unstructured bitching session.

There is a big difference between a negative comment and a random unstructured bitch session.  While I don't think an "its horrible because" would be pleasant, if the because had some substance to it I would read and try to learn from it. But I get what Sasha is saying. I have read reviews and comments on other sights, and even a few here that were carefully worded so they wouldn't get pulled, that were more of a general complaint about the subject matter.  Well, every story I have read on any sight has had at least general descriptions of the story line. In some cases there are disclaimers of graphic sex scenes, bloody fight scenes, and the like. If that stuff bothers you then don't read it for goodness sake, don't bash the author for having written it!  Would you bash Ann Rice for having the vampire Lestat bite someone?  Or Patricia Cornwell for having described a rather gruesome murder scene her coroner main character was called to?  Hell - if you would do those things why not bash Clive Cussler the next time Dirk Pitt collects another classic car at the end of an adventure? 

[Former Member]

Even with the unstructured b*tch session though, you can't just rant and rave and return the b*tchiness.  As an author, I feel that even with the worst comment imaginable on your writing, you have to have a bit of a modicum of grace.  At least I feel that way.  If I stoop to pettiness like the sh*t they just pulled, I often feel worse.  So I suck it up, apologize that they didn't enjoy the story and then privately rave, b*tch, and ONLY ONCE have I cried myself to sleep about it.  But it's tough.  I kind of feel like I'm living in a fishbowl because everyone can see what I say when I reply to my reviews.  And I'm not even a very popular author on the site.  One snarky backhanded compliment later and you could be the bane of most members' existence.

 

But I may just be thinking too d*mn hard about this kind of thing.

Edited July 23, 2013 by Myiege

[Sasha Distan]

Even with the unstructured b*tch session though, you can't just rant and rave and return the b*tchiness.  As an author, I feel that even with the worst comment imaginable on your writing, you have to have a bit of a modicum of grace.  At least I feel that way.  If I stoop to pettiness like the sh*t they just pulled, I often feel worse.  So I suck it up, apologize that they didn't enjoy the story and then privately rave, b*tch, and ONLY ONCE have I cried myself to sleep about it.  But it's tough.  I kind of feel like I'm living in a fishbowl because everyone can see what I say when I reply to my reviews.  And I'm not even a very popular author on the site.  One snarky backhanded compliment later and you could be the bane of most members' existence.

 

But I may just be thinking too d*mn hard about this kind of thing.

 

My modicum of grace tends to be the knowledge that if someone said that to me in my presence, they would no longer be able to walk. Cris doesn't let me get too worked up, he's good like that.

[Former Member]

My modicum of grace tends to be the knowledge that if someone said that to me in my presence, they would no longer be able to walk. Cris doesn't let me get too worked up, he's good like that.

 

I do a lot of zen and meditation.

[Aditus]

Even if a story is good readers on some sites tend to only read and comment on stories of the 'big writers'. I made it it a bit of a habit to read stories of new authors and found some gems. Sometimes I was the only one who reviewed. I also read the 'big author's' stories but when I get to read them, everything was already said and done and I didn't know what to write in the review except great story. I have to admit I don't comment on those stories very often. I know, bad aditus.

 

For my own stories, I can't shake off the feeling that I could have done better, if English would be my first language. If readers don't comment it's because it's awkward. Lisa tells me I'm an idiot, though, and she's probably right, so either it's the new author thing or I should try to get better, there are always ways to improve your writing after all.

[crazyfish]

Have you taken a look at amazon reviews? Goodreads reviews can be worse.  You need nerves of steel to be able to process it and keep writing.

 

No wonder a lot of famous authors say they don't read their reviews. They don't need the aggravation from anon person on the internet.

 

There are some who even think, you're supposed be GRATEFUL for the fact someone took time  out of their useless day to say your work is shit. At least it's 'useful' feedback that will help you next time. Yeah no, not me.

 

Hell, I think it's your god-given right to punch a wall if someone complained about your too many adverbs. The caveat is, as long as you do it privately.

 

Every author needs their own special private mechanism to vent. You need a little bit of ego to survive and get better, but not too much

Edited July 23, 2013 by crazyfish