More on Dialogue

[Cia]

Okay, so I have a thing about dialogue. First, make sure you know how to punctuate it. There's a pinned topic here for that too. Second, know how to use it! One of the supreme tenets of writing fiction is to Show, Not Tell. There are a few ways to go about this, of course. Letting the reader experience the story through the characters is vital. You can easily do that a few different ways. 

 

For instance:

 

It was hot, dark, and far too quiet. Jimmy couldn't quite make out the man standing outside the light shining from the bar's neon signs. He stopped walking, trying to decide if he should keep going or cross the busy street without backtracking back to the last corner. Why couldn't there be more people walking around? He cursed the heat that kept everyone inside.

 

Could become:

 

Jimmy flapped his shirt, to get the sweaty fabric off his back. He wished there was a breeze. Looking up, Jimmy jerked back a step. He glanced at the cars zipping past and swallowed. Walk past the shadowy man or brave the street? Why couldn't there be more people walking around? Damn heat kept everyone inside.

 

That's okay, right? I've included some actions and sensations instead of narrating that it's hot. I've also included some phrase changes to make things more immediate. But, there's another way to tell the story that doesn't involve narration. Even without another character to interact with, your character can give the reader information in a natural manner via dialogue.

 

Jimmy flapped his shirt, trying to get the sweaty fabric off his back. He wished there was a breeze. "Holy shit!" Jimmy jerked back a step. "Great. Walk past creepy dude in the shadows or get fucking smashed by cars zipping back and forth?" Why couldn't there be more people walking around? "Damn heat."

 

I believe dialogue should drive the story. As you can see here, it lets me share more than just what's going on in the scene. The dialogue gives you an idea of my character as a younger man who has a fair potty mouth. If I wanted to showcase this scene through a straitlaced, older character I wouldn't have him cursing, and he might think of the man in the shadows as a hooligan. Creating a good mix of dialogue and narration, consistent to your character, is by far the most natural method of sharing a story to readers. But how do you write good dialogue? I have found several articles that provide some helpful information to try out, over the years, including one I got via email today from Writer's Digest (a great resource for writing tips that come to you!)  

 

http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/the-7-tools-of-dialogue?et_mid=673791&rid=239107852

 

http://www.creative-writing-now.com/how-to-write-dialogue.html

 

http://www.novel-writing-help.com/writing-dialogue.html

[Thorn Wilde]

My stories are often fairly dialogue driven, but I have to admit I find it kind of awkward when characters walk around talking to themselves a lot, so I tend to use a lot of free indirect speech, such as in the second example above, as a sort of happy medium, when a character is by themselves. 

[Cia]

It's not something I'd have my characters do all the time, but walking around outside, at night? I find that unnerving, and when I'm nervous I tend to want to 'fill the silence'. It made sense for my character to do the same. It could be another way to highlight the mood of the moment and the character's personality. You could easily have the character snort, think instead of speak, and then shake his head at his thoughts. It would allow you to make them from the character rather than narration of the story from the author.