My Son Wears Dresses, and That's Okay By Me by Seth Menachem

[methodwriter85]

I found this Huffington Post article. It's by a guy who refuses to force his son to stop wearing dresses and bow down to societal norms, because in the end, he wants his son to be able to express who he is, whatever is it that he may be.

My Son Wears Dresses, And That's OK With Me

 

Pretty cool.I liked that Mr. Menachem wasn't all, "Yes, I put him in dresses to say fuck societal norms!" and it took him awhile to be okay with the judgemental comments he gets from people who think that he's going to raise a gay son because of this.

Edited July 16, 2014 by methodwriter85

[Bill W]

It's refreshing to find a parent who's not concerned with making his child fit into the mold that he or society thinks they shold fill.  I have to give kudos to him for also putting on a dress, at his daughter's request.  How many grown men would do that?

[zaf89]

What a cool guy and an exemplary parent. I'd have a beer with him. 

[Ron]

It speaks well for the dad that he thinks the way that he does, but as a parent . . . I'm pretty sure the boy is in charge at this point.

[Graeme]

I have only one reservation about this article and it's the fact that the two-year-old boy appears to be identifiable. That means that this article on the Internet is going to follow him for the rest of his life. In particular, during school years when other boys are at their lowest level of tolerance.

 

It may be they live in a nice, safe, and accepting community, in which case my concern can be ignored, but protecting my sons from being bullied (for having a gay dad) is the number one reason I haven't come out fully. One son has already been bullied at school several times -- I don't want to give ammunition to any other bullies out there.

 

Having said that, I applaud the father's mature response to his son's preference for wearing dresses.

 

EDIT TO ADD:

 

Ron, we crossposted. As a parent myself, I know you have to pick your battles with your kids. This isn't one worth fighting -- something the father eventually realised. Some battles are, like wanting to stick knives into power sockets.... You get firm on the things that are important, and be more relaxed on those that aren't.

Edited July 16, 2014 by Graeme

[C J]

I don't mind what others decide to wear.  I imagine a dress is about as comfortable as a piece of clothes can get.  Scottish men wear kilts, which are just skirts.  Social restrictions are always kind of weird when you really take time to think about them.  The thing is, I don't think boys in dresses are attractive.  I think most girls would say the same thing.  At some point this boy will stop wearing dresses because it's going to be too much trouble when he gets older.

 

Social norms aren't always right, but they have an important place.  If there wasn't some recognizable "norm" then society wouldn't be stable enough to function.  Still, I wouldn't criticize a guy for wearing a dress, but I'm pretty sure I'd laugh a little.  Now excuse me, I need to go freshen up my mascara. 

[Wicked Witch]

I do agree with this fathers sentiment, but I also have to agree with Graeme's point.

 

That said, I find societies restrictions bizarre. A couple of hundred years ago, pink was considered manly (because it was bold) and white and blue were feminine (because they are 'softer' colours). Such things change with the era. Who really cares what is 'proper' in such a silly context?

[Zombie]

Social norms aren't always right, but they have an important place. 

 

Hmm, guess I have a real problem with that statement.

 

Saying "they have an important place" without any qualification is an acceptance.

 

But "norms" need to be constantly challenged - otherwise we'd all still be in the closet and gay marriage would be fantasy not reality

[C J]

Hmm, guess I have a real problem with that statement.

 

Saying "they have an important place" without any qualification is an acceptance.

 

But "norms" need to be constantly challenged - otherwise we'd all still be in the closet and gay marriage would be fantasy not reality

 

I didn't think details were needed.  I said norms aren't always right, and I expect most people to know that not every accepted norm is a bad thing.  Norms do need to be challenged, but I think everything needs to be questioned.  Acceptance of anything without thinking about it and deciding whether it's valid or not would be silly. 

 

My point was simply that there needs to be some structure, or accepted norms, for any society to function.  I don't really care what anyone wears, but I like the fact that most people wear clothes of some sort in public.

[Y_B]

Edited July 17, 2014 by Y_B

[W_L]

I didn't think details were needed.  I said norms aren't always right, and I expect most people to know that not every accepted norm is a bad thing.  Norms do need to be challenged, but I think everything needs to be questioned.  Acceptance of anything without thinking about it and deciding whether it's valid or not would be silly. 

 

My point was simply that there needs to be some structure, or accepted norms, for any society to function.  I don't really care what anyone wears, but I like the fact that most people wear clothes of some sort in public.

 

Can we make an exception on the "clothing rule" for Male Athletes, Actors, and Musicians/singers? Nudity would be a privilege, not a taboo if we had that

 

Honestly, social norms are a funny thing, we want some social norms and conventions. However, as a minority population, we don't want social norms to limit our social mobility and potential.

 

Also, this is not something just Americans have problems with; Europeans have had the same issue with neighboring countries and African immigrant cultures for decades. (Zombie should look up the topic in the UK, though we can't discuss those points here in the Lounge due to its political nature)

 

Social norms are relative to an individual, but a society as an aggregate is far more reserved to changes or new social acceptance of outside beliefs/personal attitudes, i.e. boys wearing dresses, gay marriage, or woman wearing a veil.

[Ashi]

@Y_B  I thought dresses came in even numbers....  But then I don't wear them.

 

@Method I thought I read something like that some years ago, though a different dad/son pair.  I wonder when we're going to have a "My son dates a man, but that's okay with me" and the dad dates a man and got on the Huffington Post.  Just kidding....