Are there topic in a story that set you off?

[JamesSavik]

I didn't think that any story could punch my buttons until one did.

 

It reminded me of something that happened a long time ago that I repressed and it just set me off in a horrible rage.

 

Does anyone else have reactions like that?

[eminem313]

When animals /children die / are tortured.

 

Call me a horrible person but I can read about a human being slaughtered and not even blink twice, but put an animal or child in that situation and I'm either tearing up or getting angry.

[Drak]

I didn't think that any story could punch my buttons until one did.

 

It reminded me of something that happened a long time ago that I repressed and it just set me off in a horrible rage.

 

Does anyone else have reactions like that?

Yes. Those reactions are useful. You can harness that energy. Emotions can power you through an entire story or essay.

[JamesSavik]

When animals /children die / are tortured.

 

Call me a horrible person but I can read about a human being slaughtered and not even blink twice, but put an animal or child in that situation and I'm either tearing up or getting angry.

 

In some ways I am the same.

 

Yes. Those reactions are useful. You can harness that energy. Emotions can power you through an entire story or essay.

 

I don't know about this one. It's a memory long repressed and when it got triggered it really messed me up- I mean it had me raging, sweating, chest pains- 35 years ago and it gave me a full on anxiety attack.

 

I've let a lot of stuff out of the box in my writing. I just don't know how I feel about this one. I probably need to write about  it. I'm not sure how others would see me if they read it.

[Irritable1]

I didn't think that any story could punch my buttons until one did.

 

It reminded me of something that happened a long time ago that I repressed and it just set me off in a horrible rage.

 

Does anyone else have reactions like that?

 

Occasionally, but more with the uncontrollable weeping. I've taken it to therapy. Helps to talk through the original experience--the trigger isn't necessarily what it looks like on the surface. I mean, if someone in the story is injured in Location A and it really gets me, it could be because I was actually hurt in Location B but there are other similarities.

 

I've also been reminded (by the therapist) that, hey, sometimes it's just not necessary to force myself to power through a story or a movie that distresses me.  I don't like accepting that, but, well....

Edited January 30, 2015 by Irritable1

[Ron]

 

I've let a lot of stuff out of the box in my writing. I just don't know how I feel about this one. I probably need to write about  it. I'm not sure how others would see me if they read it.

Not everything you write needs be seen by others. Write for yourself if you think it will help. Writing as therapy is something that I've seen mentioned onsite many times and I dare say that I've probably channeled into my own writing; fiction, but just the same, channeled.

[Irritable1]

Not everything you write needs be seen by others. Write for yourself if you think it will help. Writing as therapy is something that I've seen mentioned onsite many times and I dare say that I've probably channeled into my own writing; fiction, but just the same, channeled.

 

Exactly. You can take the energy and emotion and move it into a different setting.

[MrM]

I kind of lucked out on my first story I read here. The whole thing caught me and sent me on this emotional roller coaster because one of the main characters was me at that age almost to a T.

 

The story was Comsie's Billy Chase Chronicle.

 

The Brandon character is, well...he was me at 15. He is so much like me at that age that I'm actually doing a writing exercise where I am responding with Brandon's side of that story. As I write to fit with Comsie's narrative as Billy, it becomes eerily autobiographical. The shyness, the fear, the overwhelming emotion, the agony of betrayal, the grudge. Themes that we can all relate to, to be sure, but framed in this way, its like Comsie pulled my young self and cast him in his story almost bodily. I vicerally felt Brandon's anger and betrayal when Billy did what did. I seriously became grief-stricken! I'll leave the details to the few that may not have read this incredible story.

 

I probably won't be able to release my response as Brandon here since I haven't been able to talk with Comsie about it, but I've found that this writing exercise has exorcised some old demons I had from my younger days. 

If nothing else it has energized my imagination to write some original stories that i'll be passing through beta readers and editors fairly soon.

 

I can't wait to read other works by other authors on here. Everyone is so talented!

[Drak]

 

In some ways I am the same.

 

 

I don't know about this one. It's a memory long repressed and when it got triggered it really messed me up- I mean it had me raging, sweating, chest pains- 35 years ago and it gave me a full on anxiety attack.

 

I've let a lot of stuff out of the box in my writing. I just don't know how I feel about this one. I probably need to write about  it. I'm not sure how others would see me if they read it.

 

You should perhaps let the author of the story know of your reaction.

 

I don't know whether to advise you to publish your secret or not. You may be using a real name, in which case that's a highly personal decision. But you can still write about it. Nobody says you have to share right away, here, or even under the nym you are using. You can always publish as Mr. or Mrs. X. From what I understand, plenty of folks do. I find writing therapeutic and somehow euphoric, like a drug, you know, so I recommend it to you, because it doesn't have side effects and is pretty much free, and society will think you're somehow deeper or ambitious just for trying. Although when I told a pastor I was writing, she just grinned with full teeth in a condescending way and said nothing, and I took that reaction to mean, "we've all been down that road before, and there's no way you can get anywhere by writing," and she might be right about that.

[Sasha Distan]

I write about a lot of the things that would otherwise be called 'triggers' for myself, and plenty of others too I expect. And for me at least, this takes away from their strength, even if it doesn't nullify them.

[JamesSavik]

I'm not ready to talk about this too much. I have talked to my sponsor and I've already made an appointment to see someone about this.

 

There was a scene in a story that for lack of a better description LOOKED really, REALLY wrong.

 

The first thing that came out was absolute fury. I was mad as hell and I didn't know why.

 

Then it clicked. The shock of it opened up a repressed memory.

 

The second part hit me like lightening bolt- I remembered what happened like high definition video.

 

I puked. Then I started shaking and crying and then I was in the shower.

 

Full on anxiety attack. Rage. It really messed me up.

 

 

I know that I can be pretty crazy. At least I'm honest enough to admit it.

 

Discovering something like this is a terrifying experience. When the brain buries something this deep for so long and then let's it out in living color, you have to pay attention to it.

 

I've always felt like I missed something. I believe this is it.

 

Who says reading can't be therapeutic.

[Irritable1]

I'm glad you're going to talk to someone. You're a strong person and I admire your steadiness in trying to do the best you can.

[LitLover]

I agree with what others have said. Write it down. You don't have to share what you write with anyone if you don't want to.

 

Good for you for talking to someone. Triggers can come without warning, it's how you deal with things once they hit that matters and it sounds like you are doing what you need to do.

[MrM]

I'm not ready to talk about this too much. I have talked to my sponsor and I've already made an appointment to see someone about this.

 

There was a scene in a story that for lack of a better description LOOKED really, REALLY wrong.

 

The first thing that came out was absolute fury. I was mad as hell and I didn't know why.

 

Then it clicked. The shock of it opened up a repressed memory.

 

The second part hit me like lightening bolt- I remembered what happened like high definition video.

 

I puked. Then I started shaking and crying and then I was in the shower.

 

Full on anxiety attack. Rage. It really messed me up.

 

 

I know that I can be pretty crazy. At least I'm honest enough to admit it.

 

Discovering something like this is a terrifying experience. When the brain buries something this deep for so long and then let's it out in living color, you have to pay attention to it.

 

I've always felt like I missed something. I believe this is it.

 

Who says reading can't be therapeutic.

 

Actually, this is basically the heart of Psychoanalysis. It is probably one of the most useful tools to come from Freud. Other hypotheses he had about things did not proove out, but his insistance that a lot of mental disturbance roots in experiences 'not confronted and accepted' is absolutely valid. 

 

Most good Therapists still make use of this Dirt Digging so that these infected memories can be expressed, exposed, and cleansed. My Therapist did this for me with a number of issues including accepting my sexuality finally after 35 years and undoing the years of guilt conditioning that I had lived with and had been keeping me from fully living my life.

 

Reading the stories here is affirming to me. I validates my experiences. I no longer feel 'queer'. My expereinces, as sad as they were at times, were very common. But you'd never know it unless you had others of our 'kind' to express themselves about it like in stories and forum entries!

[Randomness]

     I am not precisely sure why this topic grabbed me so much, the more responses I read, the more I felt the need to respond. I apologize in advance if this sounds strange or “random.”

     In a specific instance, I was editing for an author here. I got to a very specific chapter and it caused such a visceral reaction I could not edit it all. It hurt to even read the words: my heart beat hard, I sweated, I flushed, even shortness of breath. When asked about it by the author, I could not even express myself coherently. I told the author I would come back to the chapter, and I tried to, repeatedly. I finished editing the rest of the story then went back to the chapter. It took days, editing in reverse, one paragraph and sometimes one sentence at a time, from the end to the beginning, to finish. I never read that part again.

     James, I do not know exactly why you are feeling the way you do, I do not need to. It sounds like you are working towards an understanding. Writing or talking, however you come to that understanding, it is for yourself and that is all that truly matters.

     Please know, you are not alone.,

     GW Randomness

[JamesSavik]

I know some of you are worried about me.

 

I was too for a little while.

 

My latest blog entry will explain a lot. Don't read it if you are squeamish.

 

A Story Without Heroes

[Cynus]

James, I will always be pulling for you, and I'm always here to talk. I didn't respond to this on the forums at AD, but after seeing it here... I feel the need to suddenly. We've already talked about the specific details, between the two of us, but I wanted to address the original topic of this post which is whether a story has ever affected me to that degree.

I write because of the way stories have hit me in the past. There are so many times that I have learned things about myself, sometimes dark and terrible things and other times pleasant things. I've had repressed memories trigger, I've relived hell, and I've relived paradise, all through the shared experience of the written word.

Whenever a story hits me that hard, I latch onto it. That doesn't mean I enjoy the story, but I always force myself to analyze why it triggered that emotional response from me. I delve deep into my emotions until I find it. Even if it brings me pain at first to find these things and deal with them, I generally come out better in the end for having faced them. I write out of an emotional need sometimes to express those same emotions, though sometimes I do just write for fun as well. I don't know how many times I've touched another in such an emotional way, but I do hope that my writing will someday help people who are going through things that I write about.

You're a brave soul, and I'm glad you're working through it. Best of luck to you always, and you know where to find me.

[GrimIsaac]

I have had a very tame life compared to the lives of characters in the stories I've read, as the most emotional trauma was my parents divorcing and my dad leaving the countries... but... I, I am very sensitive to stories. I can read practically anything to tell the truth, but if unconsensual sex, self-mutilation, or severe betrayals occur, I get so mad I usually have to stop reading and imagine ways of torturing the person causing the pain. The first one can put me in such a bad mood I have to destroy something, either in real life or in a game, and if the event is caused by someone close to the victim, I have to stop reading the story if I want to stay in a mood that is socially acceptable... but to talk about the other side of the board, I love stories where the love between the main pairing(s) is almost tangible, as it fills the hole in my heart that I cannot fill myself at the time...