[Vlista] Shane

[Kurt]

Shane is a great story. My favorite. I just finished it. What do you all think of it?

 

Kurt

Edited April 3, 2006 by shy_kurt

[gary]

Shane is a great story. My favorite. I just finished it. What do you all think of it?

 

Kurt

I think this is a really great story and am now reading tyler, which is different, but looking great too. Please keep writing, I have no imagination, and must count on great writers. I know a great story when I read it, but just can not put my own words to paper and hope to make any sense.

gary

[LittleBuddhaTW]

Shane is one of my very favorite stories. It takes the reader on a roller-coaster of emotions, from sympathy toward the main character, to total horror at what he had to live through, to awe at how strong he was all those years, to delight when his dreams all came true in the end.

 

The characterization, plot, and overall story are excellent. The only "criticism" I have is that it could use an editor to clean it up a bit for grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. Even the best published authors all have editors, and a good editor can make a good story into a great story.

 

[vlista20]

Yeah I'm sorry about the editing in Shane. It was the first story I posted and I didn't have any offers for editors until after it was posted. Then they came pouring in (Can't imagine why, lol) I'm terrible with grammar and punctuation. I do have an editor now though. A very good one! And rest assured my future stories will be easier to get through, well grammar wise, probly not content wise! Thanks for posting that you liked the story! It's always really nice to hear.

[LittleBuddhaTW]

Yeah I'm sorry about the editing in Shane. It was the first story I posted and I didn't have any offers for editors until after it was posted. Then they came pouring in (Can't imagine why, lol) I'm terrible with grammar and punctuation. I do have an editor now though. A very good one! And rest assured my future stories will be easier to get through, well grammar wise, probly not content wise! Thanks for posting that you liked the story! It's always really nice to hear.

You could always go back and have someone clean them up a bit and re-post them. Now that you're on GA, you'll probably get a lot of new readers, and that would reflect much better on your stories (not that they aren't already very good, because they are). It's never too late to go back and try to make it even better than before!

[dkstories]

That's a good idea...I've gotten like all the chapters of Phone Call that was originally not edited re-done and just have to find time to post them...doing it is a good opportunity to also spiffy up the html and make them look prettier...so doing it for Shane would be nice (plus, if there's anything you left out of the original and would want to put in...well it's a good draw for readers to check it out again!)

[drewe]

This is one of the best stories I've ever read in my life...your truely a great author Mr. Vance

[hughmelbourne]

Great. I was worried a while back that gay authors was drying up, but over Good Friday, Easter Saturday and Easter Sunday I devoured Shane, read what's posted of Cameron, and from then on i've been reading Tyler. I finished it about 10 minutes ago

 

Shane is fantastic. Tyler and Cameron, too, but Shane really stands out. I really got a feel of the town, of the people...I'm not generally able to vividly 'see' a story, but I could with Shane. I feel like I know exaxtly what the beach at the bottom of the cliff was like; I have a complete mental image of Derek and of Jimmy and of Tad.

 

Some of the detail in this got me wondering just how close it was to being autobiographical, and that feeling continued with Tyler. I'm not sure if you know someone who went through that kind of abuse or if it was you yourself. Either way, I offer genuine sympathy. In all honesty it's not a topic I consider often, and fortunately I've never had to; but even though I have no personal experience with abuse your writing was able to explain quite a lot to me, and beyond being a totally addictive story with significant points of interest, and it's an emotional rollercoaster, etc.; it's educational. Whether that was an intention or not, but that is the primary reason for my gratefulness to you. So, thank you for the story in all it's facets.

[Drewbie]

I went back to reread. David is right Shane put me thru alot of emotions esp wanting his dad going to jail.

[dbaggins]

Shane was an awesome story (grammer aside ). I'm not really a crier but geez...I read it today and I'm still tearing up. And if you wanted, I could probably help with cleaning it up a little. I'm a bit of a nerd that way...And it'd give me a reason (besides it being an excellent story) to read Shane again.

[Umbathri]

I absolutely loved Shane, thanks so much for sharing. To be able to weep like that deep in your soul is better then any sex scene. The depths of the emotions could almost make me feel human again. You defenetly have a new fan =)

 

Ive actually been very inactive here on these boards, and read very little new material in quite a while but just had to drop a line after reading this. (not that Im really back just puttering around)

 

And leave the poor guy alone; bad grammar is just an eccentricity, sometimes to be added purposefully to add a sense of chaos within the mind of the writer/main char. at least imho

[MayaMys]

I absolutely loved Shane, thanks so much for sharing. To be able to weep like that deep in your soul is better then any sex scene. The depths of the emotions could almost make me feel human again. You defenetly have a new fan =)

 

Ive actually been very inactive here on these boards, and read very little new material in quite a while but just had to drop a line after reading this. (not that Im really back just puttering around)

 

And leave the poor guy alone; bad grammar is just an eccentricity, sometimes to be added purposefully to add a sense of chaos within the mind of the writer/main char. at least imho

 

Vance addmitted to having bad grammar. Also, an author should only be allowed to use bad grammar when using quotations, and occaisionally if it's first person (which Shane wasn't...). Otherwise, an author should turn to an editor. Also, mixing up "to" and "too" or "your" and "you're" is disruptive to the flow of the story.

 

Shane is probably the most depressing story I have ever read. I was on the verge of tears during most of it. I can't really say it's my favorite, because it was a bit too depressing for me, and I really like Cameron.

[drewe]

Vance addmitted to having bad grammar. Also, an author should only be allowed to use bad grammar when using quotations, and occaisionally if it's first person (which Shane wasn't...). Otherwise, an author should turn to an editor. Also, mixing up "to" and "too" or "your" and "you're" is disruptive to the flow of the story.

 

Shane is probably the most depressing story I have ever read. I was on the verge of tears during most of it. I can't really say it's my favorite, because it was a bit too depressing for me, and I really like Cameron.

Well maybe if your like someone who picks out errors personally the fact that "too" and "your" were used incorrectly at times didn't bother me nor did disrupt the flow of the story. Edited May 4, 2006 by drewe

[Kurt]

The bad grammer in the story did not really bother me either. Anyway, if you go to Vance's blog here, you will see why the gammer is not the greatest in Shane. Shane is my favorite story! Vance is a great author and a great guy. A few grammatical errors are not going to stop me from enjoying a story when it is otherwise so well written.

 

Kurt

Edited May 5, 2006 by Kurtie

[Rigel]

The grammar was a problem, but that's something an editor can fix. "Cameron" is edited, and I find errors in that one, too, but then again, I work in publishing for a living. If I ever get into a spell of being less overcommitted in a month or so, I should add myself to the growing list of people who are willing to edit "Shane." I kept thinking at first that the bad grammar was a deliberate marker for the working-class fisherpeople of Prescott Cove, and I wonder if it could be preserved in the dialogue of a re-edited "Shane," even while the English of the narrator, and especially the English of Mr. Mason, the high school principal, are corrected.

 

But grammar aside, it's a well-written story, and the proof of that is that the tale still haunts me daily, even though it's been a couple of weeks since I read it.

 

--Rigel

[Tim the Traveller]

Ok Ive read Shane, Tyler, And just finished chapter 7 of Cameron.

 

Shane is the most emotional thing I have ever read. It will be with me for a long time. Wow is the only thing I can really say about it, so DAM, WOW.

 

 

Later

[LittleBuddhaTW]

I think it's very likely that we'll see an edited and revised version of "Shane" at some point this year, and I'll do my best to coax its brilliant author to add some extra scenes to make it that much more worthwhile to go and re-read. I've already read it twice, and will certainly read it again for a third time when the "new" version comes out.

 

In the meantime, "Cameron" is also a very good story, not to mention "Tyler."

Edited May 19, 2006 by LittleBuddhaTW

[MayaMys]

The grammar was a problem, but that's something an editor can fix. "Cameron" is edited, and I find errors in that one, too, but then again, I work in publishing for a living. If I ever get into a spell of being less overcommitted in a month or so, I should add myself to the growing list of people who are willing to edit "Shane." I kept thinking at first that the bad grammar was a deliberate marker for the working-class fisherpeople of Prescott Cove, and I wonder if it could be preserved in the dialogue of a re-edited "Shane," even while the English of the narrator, and especially the English of Mr. Mason, the high school principal, are corrected.

 

But grammar aside, it's a well-written story, and the proof of that is that the tale still haunts me daily, even though it's been a couple of weeks since I read it.

 

--Rigel

 

Hmm..I whole heartedly agree about the dialogue of the Prescott Cove citizens. The way it was written made complete sense to me, but other characters and the narrarator's grammar managed to get on my nerved. I'm a picky person, who's annoyed by small things.

[LittleBuddhaTW]

Ok, ok already ... Vance knows that the grammar in "Shane" has some problems, and he's going to have it edited by a very competent person and re-posted when "Cameron" is done ... so let's stop harrassing poor Vance about the grammar (which *will* be fixed), and focus instead on how good of a story it is. Otherwise, I might have to get upset and over-protective, which I tend to do when it comes to Vancey-pooh, and that would not be a good thing ...

 

Capiche?

 

*Hugz* (and *smooches* to Vance)

 

Buddha

President and #1 Fan, Official VLista Fan Club

[Kurt]

David... I think that you are wrong!!! I am the number ONE fan of Vance!

 

Kurt

[Drewbie]

David... I think that you are wrong!!! I am the number ONE fan of Vance!

 

Kurt

 

LOL. Can't we all just get along

[Former Member]

So far I've read shane , and just finished reading unbreakable faith (which I also recommend) last night. And plan on reading the rest as well. Tonight I start on One moment.

Shane gets a big thumbs up from me.

 

 

[Guest chaybin]

"Shane" is a very profound and realistic depiction of child abuse, and "Unbreakable Faith" also is precisely and accurately realistic. Real child abusers operate in each category of abuse; to wit: psychological, physical, sexual. The abusers have different motives. In my case, I have come to believe my abusive stepfather was usually entertaining himself by tormenting me, although a few times, he targeted me when he was actually angry with my mother. Shane, the character, unfortunately was hated by his natural father for causing the death of his mother in childbirth, and the abuse of Shane was more intense and constant than a more "normal" level of abuse might be. VLista definitely nailed both the feel of abuse and the mental reaction to abuse. Unfortunately, a really rotten childhood does last a lifetime. The actual memories of beatings, pre-pubescent sex, verbal abuse and humiliation tend to fade or jumble together, but the abusee (as lawyers might say) goes through life unfairly distrusting new people; making poor impressions in job interviews; making poor impressions when applying to join clubs or lodges; being overly defensive which leads others to suspect the abusee is concealing some grievous error or a crime, and so on. One of the truest observations VLista has made in "Shane" and "Unbreakable Faith" is that the abusee does believe that "this is how life is meant to be," both when living in the abusive regime and then afterward while suffering from aftereffects. The affereffects of abuse probably can be fairly compared to the Post Traumatic Stress of combat veterans. In my 66 years, I have never found any other writer who has nailed the issue of child abuse as well as VLista, and he has done a good job of trying to put Shane and Ian on optimistic upward paths to keep hope alive so the story is good, and the lessons are good.

[Benji]

Shane was one of the first stories I read, it made me angry and I cried at the abuse, the story did lead me to GA, although I did not want to continue reading it as I felt it was a first hand experience story and had many truths behind it. I always thought the story was never completed, as his others were, I since discovered Vistas site, I read them all, it is a shame he is no longer writing.

[naaz]

one word: heartwarming!